It usually took 30 minutes to get to the courthouse from the hospital. But Sehun had been driving for about an hour, almost double the usual time. So it had the possibility of being considered as the longest drive from the hospital to the courthouse. Except Sehun felt like time was running in the speed of light and he couldn’t do anything about that no matter what.

If only he knew any way to slow down the time. But all he could do were taking the longest routes, going round and round and passing by the same places. He was sure that the woman sitting beside him, also his wife knew that Sehun was trying to delay whatever they were planning to do, but didn’t say anything. Perhaps she also wanted the same thing. But the problem was she wasn’t saying ANYTHING, certainly not anything about going down from her decision of the divorce thing. Now all he had was just 40 minutes before he and Yun Hee would be expected in the courthouse to finalize their divorce, just two hours after they got to know that they were having twins.

Twins? Sehun felt like if he had asked God for anything else at that time, He would have given it to him. He didn’t know he would be this elated after getting the news until he heard those two separate heartbeats and had the doctor confirming herself. And when he saw the black and white picture of the two tiny disfigured beans, it felt so surreal, almost impossible to the point of making him want to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming or not. Two babies, two little human beings of their own. How could he get so lucky? He was given the most wonderful life, a perfect being as his wife who was giving him a family. Any words from the dictionary wouldn’t have been enough to describe the amount of happiness he found himself basking in at that moment.

And then right after that, Sehun remembered what he and Yun Hee were going to do later, as if to remind him that he was only allowed to have a taste of happiness, not exactly have it. It was only that moment he realized how crushing the feeling of having everything one moment and losing almost all of it the next moment, could get. It had the power to make you wish that you had nothing from the very beginning. At least not having it from the very start wouldn’t have hurt like a thousand knives piercing right through your heart, except ten times stronger.

The fact that he was still able to drive properly was a miracle. It was probably because of his reflex and muscle memory, results of years and years of driving that he was still doing fine. But inside, his mind was a total mess.

Sehun shortly glanced at his right to see and found his mind painfully aware of the beauty of what he was seeing. It was Yun Hee, leaning against the window while looking at her left ring finger that was tapping on the glass. She seemed lost in her thoughts. The wedding ring on her finger reflected the sunlight coming through the window, making it look shinier than ever. It was as if the ring knew that it was going to be its last day at service, so it was doing its best to make its presence known.

Yun Hee’s right palm was rubbing her baby bump. The bump was still quite small, but it was there, as a constant proof of the fact he was going to be a father, now a father of two. His heart stopped its erratic beating and churned, making him almost gasp for a breath. That exactly how his heart had been behaving the whole morning. It was either beating madly because of fear or constricting to the point of stopping because of pain.

Sehun looked ahead and there was the courthouse in all its glory. His mind didn’t seem to register any of that said glory as it kept telling him that building was nothing but the end, the end of him and Yun Hee. The world around him started spinning wildly as he finally stopped the car near the building. All that was left was Yun Hee stepping feet out of the car and that would be it.

Sehun would still get to be the other parent of their children, would still get to meet Yun Hee on a weekly basis and she would finally be free from all the miseries and him. That should not be something bad, right? Except Sehun was losing the one person who had brightened up his life right when he had thought the said life had given up on him. Their little quibbles, never-ending small talks, hugs, kisses and love-makings, sleeping in each other’s arms, sharing a room and coming home to each other. That was exactly what they were to each other – home. And now he was going to lose all of them. He was going to lose the right to call Yun Hee his. He was going to lose the right to call himself HERS.

Sehun couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t just sit there and do nothing except going with the flow. Why was he even fighting this? Just because Yun Hee had left him some note that morning, asking him to sign the papers?

Yes, Sehun had been angry because Yun Hee had broken his heart. They had made love the night before. He had felt Yun Hee’s love through it and for once, he felt that everything was going to be fine. It was the kind of love that Sehun knew he would want for the entirety of his life.

And then the very next morning, she made him feel so worthless. He realized he had meant so little to her that he did not deserve anything more than a simple piece of paper telling him that she wanted nothing but the end, that she wasn’t going to stop even if he offered himself. After all those months of fighting everything for their marriage, even fighting himself sometimes and she expected him to sign some damned divorce papers just like that? That too when they were one step into parenthood?

Then he remembered the broken look she had on her face the night before, how affected she had been because of everything he had done. Even after trying his best to not hurt her, Sehun's actions had somehow ended up hurting her and that was his fault. His fault was not knowing how to make her happy, his fault was not being enough for her. Yes, she had said that herself, that whatever he could offer was not enough. And what she wanted, Sehun wasn't sure if he had that yet. 

So with all those things in his mind, Sehun had signed the papers. His hands had shook like crazy, his pen had dropped multiple times too. His heart had been constantly telling him ‘no’, but he had still signed, though he wasn’t sure if he had signed in the right place because of his blurry eyes. And instantly after signing them, he found himself regretting his action. He had thrown the pen on the floor, curled into a ball on the bed and cried until he was hiccuping and gasping for breath. Then he had got up like nothing had happened and had taken the papers to Yun Hee in the hospital.

Then the next few days, he had spent them suffering from suppressed anger, guilt, regret and mostly longing. Staying away from Yun Hee when she was just at an arm’s reach proved to be physically painful him. His body ached to be near her, his mouth ached to talk to her, his skin ached to feel her touch. And every time he would hear her crying in the bathroom, his whole being would itch to console her. She was hurting too, just like him. But then he would see her pretending to be fine about the whole ordeal and feel mad again at her attempts to prove that whatever was happening was the only right thing – even though none of them seemed to want it.

So Sehun would stay away from her most of the time, not wanting to break down in front of her when she was trying her best to stay nonchalant. And he could see her trying to live completely independent of him. She no longer anticipated his company during the meals, no longer wrapped herself around him during the night, no longer asked him to pass the TV remote. It was as if she knew that he had been avoiding her and she was okay with it. They couldn’t be around each other even while tending to their pet dog, leaving Sehun wondering about how things would be with their children after the divorce.

But as days went on, dread started filling him to the brim until he finally couldn’t take it any more last night. The fact that the night could be their very last night together made Sehun want to run away from the reality and never come back. At least by avoiding the reality, he could prevent his heart from hurting so much. And so he did, he had left the house to get himself drunk until he couldn’t feel anything.

Which explained why Sehun found himself not being able to remember anything in the morning from the later part of that night. He was sitting in Yun Yeong’s dining room, listening to her lectures on how irresponsible he had been last night for the nth time while trying to get rid of his headache. The hangover was making everything worse. Why couldn’t anybody see his pain or what he was going through? How could they expect him to stay at a place which would not be his home anymore and be with the one who was going to render him homeless? A place full of happy memories? Maybe there were some painful memories too, but they were still memories with Yun Hee.

Suddenly his headache didn’t feel as bad as his heartache. Even when Yun Yeong sent little Ara to hug him and tell him that everything would be fine in her baby voice, things didn’t feel any better. The only thing that had been still keeping him at bay was the ultrasound visit he and Yun Hee were going to have right before going to the courthouse. Yun Hee had probably thought he wouldn’t be there or even remember that, but Sehun couldn’t miss that visit for anything in the world. Those prenatal visits, they were the only times he and Yun Hee got to forget everything and be the happy expecting parents they were, together. And so, he had rushed to the hospital as soon as he was done clearing his head enough to feel things around him, not caring how his poorly taken of hangover and running like a madman was going to make him look. He had to be there with his wife at any cost.

And the hospital, it had been the last straw. All those weeks of pent up regrets for signing the papers, guilts for hurting Yun Hee and fears of losing his wife seemed to have finally reached their limits. Seeing his baby, scratch that, babies and crying together with Yun Hee as a form of celebration, Sehun knew he would do anything, give anything to experience more moments like that, more importantly, with Yun Hee.

After all, Oh Sehun was a fool for Lee Yun Hee, a pathetic one who would still want to be with her even if she tried to kick him out of her life. Because, for him, she was not only his saviour but also his anchor in life. She was the one who gave his life a motive, who got him used to living a happy life, who made him want to be a better person and actually turned him into one. And now they were going to have a family of their own. So how could he let her go when all the fibre in his body wanted to be near her?

“I guess, this is it.”

These were the words that had brought Sehun out of his reverie. He turned to his right and saw Yun Hee smiling at him. His wife and her strong stance on bidding everyone a nice, happy goodbye. He looked at her face, her painfully beautiful face with her big, sparkly eyes, button nose, plump lips and long brown hair. She looked so lovely even when the smile on her face seemed so sad, looked so charming even when that smile slowly faltered under his gaze, so damn gorgeous even when that smile came back, this time accompanied by tears in her eyes.

And then Sehun turned his face away. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to keep his tears that were threatening to fall anytime.

“Sehun, don’t you have anything to say to me?”

Sehun didn’t move.

“Sehun, won’t you at least look at me?

Sehun still didn’t budge.

“Hun…”

Her voice lingered in the air, but Sehun still bring himself to look at her.

A sudden ring of Yun Hee’s phone disrupted the silence between them. Sehun heard her picking up the phone and speaking to the person on the other side.

“…hmm, we are here…”

He didn’t want to be there.

“…no, mom, everything was fine with the doctor, we have some news for you actually…”

The twins. Their families would have been so ecstatic to hear that, if only the situation had been a little different. Sehun still remembered their parents being angry at both of them after they had disclosed the news of the divorce. He knew that it was not fair for them when they had got the news of their pregnancy just a few days earlier. But they had to come around after a while because yes, they had no choice. They were still not happy about their decision, but they were supportive enough towards both of them. His mom had even cried while apologizing to him about making him go through this. Yun Hee’s dad had come to him and told him to stay brave.

All four of them had a silent agreement of not asking the reason of their divorce, taking the blame somehow on themselves for making this arranged marriage thing happen. Sehun and Yun Hee hadn’t bothered to correct them, because, for some reasons, they were right.

“…no the divorce is still happening, it is something else…”

That’s right. Yun Hee is not going back on her words. Sehun squeezed his already closed eyes.

“...we are coming, no need to meet us at the entrance…bye…”

And the call was cut. Then a few things happened and they happened so fast that Sehun didn’t have enough time to wrap his head around them. First he heard Yun Hee unfastening the seatbelt with his back still facing her. Then he heard the car door opening and before he knew anything, he had placed his right palm on Yun Hee’s neck and turned her around before connecting their lips. The next thing Sehun knew, they were panting on each other’s face after a breathtaking kiss with their foreheads connected as he whispered.

“You wanted me to say something, right? Three words – don’t leave me. I don’t want this divorce, Hee.”

“Sehun, don’t make this harder than it…”

She stopped in the midway because of the rise of his voice as he put distance between their faces. “I need you, Yun Hee. Don’t you get it? I.NEED.YOU”, he said, putting extra force on each word.

He probably looked like a mad man as he grasped her hand, but Sehun didn't care. “One chance, Hee and there will be no going back from that. I promise. You want me to love you, right? I will, just give me some time, please. You had promised, Hee”

His desperation was slowly being evident in his every action - his fast-talking, his unstable movements, his incapability in keeping a steady eye-contact. His heart was tearing itself apart as Sehun felt Yun Hee trying to calm him down by hushing him and whispering sweet nothings to him. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out what was wrong with him. He was having a panic attack, right when he was supposed to be calm and try to convince his wife to not leave him.

Sehun felt Yun Hee’s palm on his cheek as she kept asking him to look in her eyes and follow her breathing pattern. Tears were running down her eyes profusely as he intently gazed at her face. Breath in, breath out. She had already opened the windows and was now wiping the sweat that had formed on his forehead. She rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and was about to open the top button of his shirt to get of rid of some suffocation when Sehun grasped her hands again and held them tightly until his breathing finally evened out.

“Don’t do this, Hee”, Sehun begged, his voice too weak to be called even a whisper. “Please.” He buried his face in their joined fists. His constant whispers of ‘please’ was muffled by the noise of outside, but he knew that Yun Hee could hear him.

Sehun’s heart clenched real tight when he felt her placing a soft kiss on his hair and heard her saying the last thing he wanted to hear from her. Those words meant that nothing was irreversible at that point, that he had no other option except for the one thing his whole being wanted to defy.

“I am sorry.”

Yun Hee freed her hands hastily from his clutch and ran out of the car like it was suffocating her instead of him, leaving Sehun alone as water droplets finally found their path along his cheeks.

Because one thing was for sure. Yun Hee had made her decision and didn’t want Sehun to go against it either.

By the time, Sehun entered the room where their divorce was going to take place, it was already filled with people. He knew that he was quite late, but he didn’t feel exactly enthusiastic about being early for his divorce. Besides he couldn’t possibly show up in a place so formal looking like . All the cryings and that damned panic attack had made him look like nothing but a clown with a red nose and dishevelled hair.

Sehun saw their parents talking to their lawyers, asking about how the joint custody thing worked for the nth time. The only thing that had been harder to them than the divorce, was the division of their unborn grandchild’s time. Judging from their not-so-hushed discussion, Yun Hee probably hadn’t told them yet about her carrying twins. Oh god! They would be devastated. 

Then on their far left, Sehun saw Yun Hee standing with her sister Yun Yeong and her best friend Min Ah. They were having their very own Q&A session, with Min Ah and Yun Yeong on the questioning side and Yun Hee on the answering one.

Then there was Baekhyun, standing far enough to not be a part of their conversation, but close enough to be able to take Ara anytime she felt uncomfortable with him. And judging from the situation, it wouldn’t be long before the guy would be running to Yun Yeong because Sehun could see Ara squirming in Baekhyun's hold already. The 3 years old was the perfect epitome of hyperactivity, something she had inherited from her father. The said father seemed to be missing in the room, but Sehun didn’t pay any heed to it. The guy had already declared that he and Ye Joon were not going to be in the court when Sehun was having breakfast at their place. Sehun was sure Yun Hee knew that too. After all, she had met the two in the hospital.

Sehun realized that he had been spacing out again when he felt someone hugging his waist and looked down to find Ara smiling brightly at him. He picked up the girl in his arms as he saw Baekhyun approaching them. The girls were also looking at Sehun. But he couldn’t find the strength to greet them yet. His heart had been broken into pieces by a certain someone standing there, not long ago. That certain person looked so calm, like she had everything figured out while Sehun’s mind was still in shambles.

He saw Baekhyun opening his mouth, but even before he could say anything, a sudden commotion filled the room. Sehun knew what the commotion was about, the judge had entered the room. Now in no time, one verdict from the man was going to end everything. A sudden thought crossed his mind as he greeted the judge like all other people in the room. If he, perhaps, said ‘no’ to the divorce at the very last moment, the divorce wouldn’t get finalized, would it? There are two people in every marriage and so if one of them was to say deny the divorce, then it would mean 50% of denial.

Then Sehun heard Yun Yeong and Yun Hee talking as they were coming to take their seats. Yun Yeong asked Yun Hee, maybe for the last time if Yun Hee was sure about the whole thing, to which Yun Hee replied that she was. Her voice was so certain, there was no hesitation there.

He felt a stong punch in his guts. Who was he kidding? His wife wanted that divorce. He looked at Yun Hee when he felt her sitting on the chair beside him. It was one of those divorce cases where both parties stood on the same side – a very mutual divorce where even their lawyers were working together. There was going to be no arguments, no character-based questions, no financial state requirements, no usual ugliness of a court case, nothing. Sehun could already see the future. Both of them would be summoned to give their statement on the divorce and both of them would say yes. And that would be it. The end of Yun Hee and Sehun was going to happen just like that. His broken heart took up a very fast pace.

Sehun looked at his wife sitting beside him. He swore to god that if Yun Hee were to change her mind even then, he would just take her hand and run away from the place to never come back. So he looked at her and kept looking at her until the judge asked for his statement. He kept looking at her even after that, but she never looked back. His parents had given him a smile, Yun Hee’s parents, Min Ah and Baekhyun had nodded at him. Even Yun Yeong had given him with a look of pity, her eyes seemed teary for some reasons. But his wife had never looked back.

Taking a deep breath and hoping that he would have all the strength in the world, Sehun finally said, “Yes, my lord. I want a divorce.”

He was asked to take his seat after that and for a moment, Sehun was glad. Because he was afraid that any moment his legs would give up on him and he would end on the floor in front of everybody, helpless and devastated. His hands started shaking, his heart started drumming against his ribcage. What had he done? He had just taken the divorce one step ahead, now it only required one ‘yes’ from Yun Hee and then everything would be gone. Sure they would have to sign some legal papers, but those would be just formalities after that confirmation from her.

Then he heard the judge summoning Yun Hee and felt her move beside him. "We have heard the statement of Mr. Oh Sehun, which is clearly in the favor of the divorce. Now do you have anything else to say about the case, Mrs. Oh?" 

His hands were itching to hold her hand and stop her. His mind constantly kept telling him to take her away from that place and hide somewhere together where nobody would be able to find them. His eyes travelled towards her stomach that was being covered protectively by her right palm and Sehun felt like crying. His mouth was a blabbering mess of continuously whispering ‘please say no’, but he knew that it was only a wishful thinking.

Sehun squeezed his eyes shut and clutched the sides of his chair tighty. He was afraid, afraid of whatever was coming up next, afraid of whatever Yun Hee was about to say. And then she spoke up, shocking Sehun to the point where he couldn’t believe his own hearing.

"I don't want a divorce, my Lord."

Did she just say…‘no’?

The first feeling that had filled Sehun was relief. It was so powerful that he felt it crushing his bones, reaching the deepest corners of his soul. Who knew relief could also be a bone-crushing feeling? Then the next thing that attacked him was curiosity. Sehun looked around himself and saw everyone around them looking shocked and whispering to each other. Why were they shocked? Couldn’t they just be happy at Sehun’s happiness? So what if Yun Hee had a sudden change of mind? What if what she said was totally out of that blue? Wasn’t that a good thing that she also didn't want the divorce?

But then came all the negativities. Because he noticed that everyone, except Yun Yeong was wearing that shocked expression while his sister-in-law didn’t seem that startled. In fact, she was just shedding tears silently, like she felt really bad for someone. Then he looked at Min Ah and saw that she was also quick to get over the surprise. As if she knew that this was going to happen but couldn’t quite believe it, given her initial shock. He suddenly remembered the last conversation Yun Yeong and Yun Hee had before they had to take their seats and everything seemed to fall into their places.

Sehun didn’t want to believe what his mind was telling him. Yun Hee couldn’t do that to him, could she? But then his wife, the expression on her face, it wasn’t one that told that whatever she said was the result of a sudden realization. No, because if anything, the expression was a very strong and determined one, an expression that Yun Hee has been wearing the whole time. Her statement he realized, it was not the result of an epiphany, but a well thought out, stable decision.

Now it was Sehun’s turn to get shocked, but his one had a totally different reason. The others were probably thinking ‘why this sudden change?’, but he was thinking ‘why didn;t she tell me anything?’. He saw Yun Hee looking towards their family and friends, her eyes slowly gliding from her parents until they fell upon Sehun. Her eyes, they looked sorry for her actions, another proof that her decision was a planned one. Betrayal had never felt so prominent before that.

Then she looked at the judge before speaking up, her voice so determined that Sehun couldn’t help feeling bitter at every single word. Her words, they seemed as if she was doing him a favour by giving their marriage a chance, like she was doing this out of a sense of duty. Like she was being forcing herself to this.

"I know that my words contradict the situation since I am the one who filed for the divorce, but my Lord, I am someone who has always believed in second chances. Then how could I end my marriage without giving it a second chance? How could I face my unborn children after giving up on their father without a single fight? Filing this divorce was necessary to keep me reminded of the fact that the chance I am willing to give is the last. I hope you understand my situation."

Sehun scoffed at the end. I hope you understand my situation. How could she expect someone else to understand her when she herself had turned a blind eye when he had been begging to her like a low-life? He felt angry at himself, angry that he had thought so highly of this woman, angry that he had given her the chance to make him look like a fool in front of everyone, angry that he was still somewhat happy because of her decision despite everything. Could he get any more pathetic than that moment?

His parents were looking at Yun Hee like she was some kind of a messiah, her parents and sister were crying like it was her who was suffering so much. Why couldn’t they see his pain, his struggle? Everything inside Sehun was burning as he made an eye-contact with Yun Hee. Even after everything that had happened, she still looked so beautiful as her eyes searched for his reaction. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

"Mrs Oh Yun Hee, I hope you know that you have insulted the court by using it for your personal conflicts. But the court has decided to neglect it, letting you off with just a warning since you are expecting. Regarding the case, the court has decided to halt the divorce for six months since only one of the 2 parties is ready for it. By the end of the period, if both the cannot come to a mutual decision, then the divorce will be granted, deciding that the marriage is beyond saving. The processing of this case ends here today. The court is adjourned."

The moment the judge said that, Sehun rushed out of the crowded room, not being able to stay there even for a second longer. His head felt like it would burst anytime, but it was his heart that was having it harder. How much more breaking could it take in one day? But what could he even do when Yun Hee didn’t seem have any mercy on that poor thing?

In the fresh air of outside, his mind seemed to work better than earlier as it finally deciphered the reason behind Yun Hee’s action. She hadn’t told him about her resolve beforehand because she had never meant to tell him. She knew that Sehun would have said ‘no’ like her in a heartbeat if he knew that she was also meaning to say ‘no’. And she didn’t want that. Because that response would have nullified the divorce and she didn't want that. She had never meant to give their marriage a proper second chance. 

With that, Sehun finally dropped on the ground and clutched his chest tightly as breaking down seemed easier than holding himself up at that moment.

Hello, fellas. This is Anikasen. 

I am back, with another chapter that doesn't have much in it. Hope you will still enjoy this. 

Love you guys. Thanks for boosting my confidence with your lovely comments in the last chapter. Take care. I will be back as soon as I can.