Sparks

Ashes of Dreams

Yun Hee was confused on another level. She couldn't decipher what was happening around her. The whole thing was going way above her head. She remembered the time she could keep tabs on her life and now, it had gotten out of her hand. How did that happen? Well, even an eight years old could answer that. It happend with the entry of a confusing human being named Oh Sehun in her life. 

11 months of time isn't that long, yet it seemed as though her life before those 11 months were some fragments of a dream, a boring one but still very much appreciated. Because Yun Hee wasn't used to being unable of predicting her life and that boring life of hers was something she could always predict. When she was getting married to Sehun, she knew that she was starting a whole new life but didn't expect it to be a rollercoaster ride.

The only thing she knew before marrying him was that she was getting married to someone who was in love with someone else and she was kind of okay with it too. It's true that him Sehun being indifferent and rude towards herself, drinking and crying for Jieun made her disappointed everytime but at least she knew her stance in the situation. She knew herself, what she expected and what she wanted, something she didn't know anymore.

Yun Hee expected that Sehun would get over Jieun gradually and accept her in his life someday. What she didn't expect was him coming to her about two months down the line and offering to give their marriage a chance; didn't expect him actually giving efforts in the process by taking big steps like putting up his penthouse that he shared with Jieun for sale. What she certainly didn't expect was her starting to rely on someone else other than herself, starting to yearn for that person's presence, feeling her heart doing tango on one moment and easing down on the next one over his every action. Yet she foolishly let herself go with the flow without thinking over the consequences, something that made her pay not much later.

She found herself stranded in a place full of insecurity and unfamiliarity when the news of Jieun's engagement came out. That was the first time she realized that she had lost her hold on her life and feelings. She felt herself grasping at thin air whenever she reached out to hold onto her feelings. And when Sehun also started retracting himself from Yun Hee, she felt realization washing over her. She had fallen in love for the first time in her life with nobody to catch her. Seeing no alternatives in front of her to save herself from the heartbreak, she chose the easiest way to avoid it - building a wall around her heart.

Now, she found herself in despair again when she saw Sehun trying to reach out for her. She found her heart and mind constantly fighting with each other on the debate of whether to let her gaurds down or not. Her mind was in chaos for the last few days because living those few days had become the reason of her confusion. It started on the next morning of her birthday when she first sensed the change.

 

 

Yun Hee woke up with an aching head and drumming ears. After a few futile trials of opening her eyes wide in the fulgent sunlight, she just gave up and squinted them to look around herself. The moment she tried to sit up, she felt her vision darkening and her head pounding badly so she couldn't help clutching her head tightly. Closing her eyes, she was massaging her temples to get rid of the pain when her attention diverted to the sound of the door opening. She didn't know if it was for real but it felt as though someone was banging on the door to open it.

"Good morning, Yun Hee." 

She turned towards the source of the noise and squinted her eyes to see Sehun approaching her with a tray on his hand, but couldn't focus enough to know what was on the tray.

"Why are you shouting so early in the morning? I already have a headache." Yun Hee nagged as she continued to massage her temple without sparing him another glance. She heard a chuckle coming from him and groaned. Someone was clearly enjoying her pitiful state. 

"I was talking very softly, for your kind information. If I had talked any softer than it would have come out as a whisper." He sat on the bed beside her, placing the tray on the table and taking a glass full from it before holding it before her face. "Here, drink it. You will feel better."

Yun Hee frowned because of the headache and said, "What is this? Poison?" She expected him to feel offended, but he just smiled.

"Yes, lemon water. It's very poisonous, you know? Now drink it and spare me by dying." Yun Hee scowled at him and cursed him under her breath for being the reason of her going through this before taking the glass from his hand.

While she was sipping on the drink, she looked up and studied his face while the glass in front of her covered half of her face. He was wearing a amused smile on his face the whole, as if seeing her drinking lemonade was something fascinating to watch. He even laughed when a few droplets came out from the side of her face and dripped down. That brat was surely enjoying her messiness. 

Yun Hee glared at him before chugging down the whole drink in one go and passing him the glass, pressing it forcefully against his chest. Then she looked away from him and was about to wipe her face with her sleeves when she saw the outstretched hand of Sehun on her side, wiping with his own sleeves even before she could register what was happening.

She turned to look at him with round eyes and saw him getting up from the bed nonchalantly with the empty glass on the tray that was on his hands before saying, "Are you feeling nauseous?" As if out of cue, she felt her stomach churning but it was not bad enough to make her vomit. So she nodded her head before mumbling that it was not that bad, her eyes traind on his outfit the whole time. He was wearing formal clothes, probably ready for office. How could he look so relaxed after wiping her face with that shirt?

"Okay, then go and freshen up, hmm? I will bring our breakfast here and we can eat together." Yun Hee got lost in her thoughts. Breakfast in bed? What was happening?

She snapped out of her daze when she heard Sehun speeaking again, standing on the doorway. "Oh! Another thing."

"What?"

"I am going to drive you to the hospital, then go to the office myself." He faced the other way to leave, but stopped midway and turned to her again. "I will also pick you up when you are done."

"That's not nece..."

"And I am going to do these everyday from now on", he said, without letting her finish her sentence before getting out of the room.

Something was definitely wrong.

 

It would not have been that big of a problem if he had just stopped there, but he didn't, making her feel even more torned. He would always call during lunchtime, ask her if she was free to have lunch with him and would arrive even if she claimed to be busy. He even made things weird with Jongin when he blatantly asked him to not visit his wife so often the one time they happened to visit at the same time.

Yun Hee though, got a good laugh later when Jongin mouthed a "Your husband is a jerk" at her while Sehun was intently eating his food, making Yun Hee relaxed because she was afraid that maybe Jongin had felt offended. Those two were seriously two very different but equally hilarious specimens.

Though the people in the hospital knew about her being married, they never paid much attention to the fact and treated her just like they used to before. But with Sehun constantly visiting her during lunch for the past days, their behaviors started to change. The girls would constantly and gush over the good looks of her husband, while the boys would throw them playful looks making Sehun sneer at them each time. Some even dared to ask her about their supposed -life. They all were giving the reactions they were supposed to give 11 months ago.

 

"Are you free now?", Sehun said from the other side of the phone.

"If I say no, then will you still come?" Yun Hee said, hoping that he would say no.

"Obviously I will come. I will come and make sure that you have your lunch. As if I will let you skip your meals again just because you are busy."

Rolling her eyes, Yun Hee said, "Sehun, you do know that you are making me feel uncomfortable, right? You acting this clingy is very sudden for me, you know?"

She heard a chuckle coming from the other line before she heard Sehun saying, "But this was supposed to happen from the very start, Yun Hee. We are very late, you know that right?"

Yun Hee muttered under her breath, "As if it's my fault?" Sehun laughed even louder upon hearing that. 

"This is not something funny. Anyways, drive safe. See you later." Her attempt to divert the topic was too obvious, but thankfully Sehun played along.

"Okay, I will make sure to drive safely. After all, I wouldn't want you to be a widow at such a young age, hmm? Bye!"

"You are seriously a moron." She snickered.

"I didn't hear you." Came his mockinh voice before he hung up, not giving her a chance to have a comeback.

Yun Hee let out a tired sigh and was about to walk towards the locker room when she was stopped by the comment of an intern who was a year junior to her.

"Unnie, you are so lucky to have such a handsome and caring husband." 

The thing Yun Hee was dreading finally came - the compliments from her female colleagues. Why must her husband have fangirls wherever he goes?

 

Going to the work, coming home or having lunch together were still something bearable. It was the dinners that were the bigger issues to deal with because Oh Sehun somehow managed to get on her nerves everyday with the dinners or his after-dinner tantrums. Dinners were also the ones that made Yun Hee feel the most, Feelings that Yun Hee couldn't distinguish. The feelings were something between warm and cold, between stormy and calm. She felt all kinds of things.

 

When they were done with dinner, Yun Hee stood up and placed her chair properly. Even though Sehun was trying his best to make things easy between them, she was still maintaining her wall. Replying to Sehun's questions and giving reactions at his jokes or his ramblings about his day were the only thing she did in order to keep things civil between them. She made sure to behave as ignorant as possible so that Sehun would not bring up the topic of his supposed promise and thankfully, Sehun seemed to not be much interested in that.

"Sehun, I am retiring to bed. Good night. You can sleep whenever you want to."

"But it's still so early, Yun Hee, too early even for you to sleep."

"Sehun, I have nothing to do at this hour so it's better if I just end my day now. Besides, I feel a bit tired."

"No, you are not. I mean, you might be but it will go away once you spend some time with me." He was clearly in a mood to be stubborn.

Yun Hee let out a defeated sigh before saying, "Okay, fine. What do you suggest we do?"

As if something funny had struck him, Sehun looked at her and gave her a mischievous smile. "You go and sit in a sofa. I will join you in a while."


"What scares you the most?"

"Sehun, I don't want to answer anymore. Can't we just go and sleep?"

"But I am not done with my question yet. Yun Hee, please. I want to play a little longer." When he saw Yun Hee's raised eyebrows, he knew that she didn't budge. So he tried harder. "You are also getting to ask me question. Doesn't anything about me make you curious?"

The question made Yun Hee look at him with stern eyes. "The game was supposed to be lmited to 20 questions, but we are already in our 34th one respectively. I have had enough. And about your second question, most of my curiosities regarding you revolve around your feelings for Jieun. So I don't want to know them."

She was about to get up before Sehun could stop her, but Sehun was quicker. Holding her hand, he forced her sit of him again. "Why won't you just ask them? I don't mind being asked. The whole time you have been asking me about silly things like my favorite color, my favorite food, my favaorite between mom and dad. Seriously? Who the hell even asks that?"

"I don't know what to ask", Yun Hee retaliated.

"Ask me about the things I used to do to bunk my classes, to cheat in exams, to get out of an important class just to have a make-out session..."

"Eww! Gross! I don't want to know them. I was a very obedient student, I hope you know that."

"Oh, please Yun Hee. I am not the one who poured acid on my teacher's bag, just because she made me fail in a quiz."

Yun Hee looked at him with her eyes bulging out. "That was just a one time thing and I felt really guilty for my actions. I had left her a sorry letter on my last day at school. And I can't believe you. It hasn't been even 5 minutes since I told you that and you are already using it against me. Backstabber!" She crossed her arms and looked away from him in annoyance.

"Okay, fine. Stop sulking. It was just for fun. Now can we please continue our game?"

Yun Hee looked at him and saw that he was trying his best to look cute. And he managed to look cute, like a kicked out puppy. Another weird change in his behavior. What was happening?

Not being able to resist him, Yun Hee sighed and said, "Fine, one last question, hmm?"

Sehun's expressions brightened immediately and he slightly jumped where he was sitting before he said, "Okay, same question. What scares you the most?"

Yun Hee pretended to think for a while before she replied, "I don't know. Horror movies? The thoughts of paranormal stuffs? Or maybe creepy reptiles?" She shrugged her shoulders.

The look in Sehun's face turned from anticipating to disappointed. "What? That's it? Yun Hee, those things are bound to scare you. Seriously? Nothing else? Fine, it's your turn now."

"Okay, what scares you the most?"

"You just repeated my question."

"No, I asked what I wanted to know."

Sehun looked lost for a while, probably pondering oevr his answer before he said, "The possibility of me being left alone."


That night, Yun Hee couldn't catch even a wink of sleep. She just kept looking at the peacefully asleep Sehun beside her and condemned herself for being afraid of the thought of being left behind by him.

 

Yun Hee felt herself snapping out of her reverie when she heard someone snapping his fingers. Following the hand that was being retracted after waking her up from the daze, her eyes fell on the person handling the steering wheel. His white shirt was wrinkled, the coat that was covering it was discarded in the backseat. The sleeves were rolled up to elbow, showing his sturdy arms that were portraying veins all over them. His eyes were on the road, only a side of his face visble, the other side could be seen only in the reflection on the window. His hair was slightly messy, probably because of being ruffled by him during work. 

Yun Hee felt her breath getting restricted at the painfully beautiful sight. It was only herself who knew how much she wanted to this beautiful human being hers. Her feelings for him kept growing day by day, making her desire to have him beside herself uncontrollable.

"Hello? Earth to Yun Hee." Yun Hee heard after hearing the sound of his fingers being snapped again. "Where do you keep getting lost again and again, huh? Is there someone else beside me? Someone I should be aware of?", Sehun said, without diverting his eyes from the road.

Yun Hee held up the book she had in her hand and waved it in front of his eyes before saying, "I was reading this book, not thinking about some guy." She certainly couldn't let him have the satisfaction of catching her off-guard.

"I would love to accept this excuse of yours, you know? But when I saw you with my own eyes, looking at the same page for more than 20 minutes, I can't accept that", he said then looked at her for a moment.

Yun Hee knew that she was caught for being lost in her thoughts, but felt amused when she noticed that Sehun had assumed her being lost in the thoughts of another man. So she decided to play along.

"What will you do if I admit to be lost in the thoughts of someone else? It's not like you love me or anything", Yun Hee said teasingly, her eyes searching for his reactions.

She was expecting him to catch the hint of playfulness in her voice and joke with her, but when she saw him parking the car in a stranded alley and looking at her misty eyes, she knew that he had taken it seriously. But what she couldn't understand was why he would have this kind of reaction even if he took it seriously. Becasue as she said, it's not like he loved her.

Not wanting to exaggerate the matter farther, Yun Hee said, "I was just joking, Sehun. Don't look at me with such a serious look, please." Then she let out a laugh. "You look scary."

"I had meant to look scary."

"Why?"

"Beacuse I don't want you to give up on loving me so soon. We still have a long way to go."

"Okay fine, you melodramatic queen. Now drive me home fast. I am tired." She bit her tongue and smiled sheepishly as she realized she had almost said that she would not stop loving him.

 


 

"Did you seriously mean it?", Sehun said as soon as they stepped inside the house.

"What?", asked Yun Hee while removing her shoes.

"That you are tired?"

Yun Hee looked up at him with a look of suspicion. "What do you want me to do?"

"No. I justed wanted us to do something that married couples tend to do."

Yun Hee felt her eyes bulging out as she heard what he said. She looked at her as if he had grown another head. How could he look so nonchalant even after suggesting something like that when her face was reddening on spot? The room falt so suffocating that Yun Hee was on the verger of fanning herself.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Yun Hee took a step back from him and put her hands in front of herself defensively. 

Sehun looked at her with a curious look and said, "I wanted us to cook our dinner together. What were you thinking?"

So that's what he was thinking about. Yun Hee let out a relieved sigh and immediately changed her expession to avoid his scrutinizing eyes.

"Sehun, if you are thinking about me cooking for you like those ideal wives, then you are wrong. Because I know nothing about cooking. I don't even know what a frying pan looks like."

"No, I wanted us to do it together. Do you really not know what a frying pan looks like?"

Yun Hee looked at him incredule and said, "Obviously I know. It was just a metaphor, idiot." Then she turned away slightly and whispered, "if Google showed me the right pictures when I looked it up during a pictionary game."

Sehun held her hand in pure disbelief and said, "You had to Google it to know how it looks like.Unbelievable!" Then his expression turned into smug one as he patted his own shoulder. "Don't worry you got married to a real pro, you know? I can cook like a Michelin Star chef." His face was full of pride.

"Really? Okay then. I will go and take a long bath while you can cook our dinner after freshening up in the guest room, huh?"

She was about to turn and make her way towards their room when her name was called out. 

"I know what you were thinking about earlier, you ert." Sehun laughed at her.

"I will see you after taking my bath, you idiot", she said without looking at him, before running away from that room to avoid the first hand embarrassment.

 

It didn't take even 20 minutes before Yun Hee had rush to the kitchen because of the smell of something burning. When she reached there, she saw the whole kitchen filled with coal like smoke and a red-sauce-covered Sehun emerging from it with a guilty face.

"Let's order take away, hmm?" He smiled sheepishly while rubbing his neck.

She just let out a sigh before setting out to search for her phone while Sehun followed her like an obedient puppy.

 


 

They were sitting on the sofa face to face while watching rorm-com movie and relishing their pizza. It was a peaceful moment, with them making weird comments about the movie from time to time and laughing together. This normalcy was highly appreciated by both of them.

When the box was empty, Yun Hee got up from the sofa and took it before throwing it in the trash can. She cleared out all the mess that were between her and Sehun and scooted to sit closer to him. Sehun looked at her with a curious look, but didn't say a word. So Yun hee took it as a cue for her to go on.

"Sehun, I have been seeing the things you are doing for me and I really appreciate them. But I couldn't help wondering if you had any motive behind them." She gave him a close look. "So, do you have any?"

As deciding something, Sehun took a deep breath before saying, "What do you think about the last few days, Yun Hee?"

"What about them?"

Sehun let out another breath and held her hands in his own. "Do you remember the night I asked about when you realized that you love me?"

Yun Hee nodded. 

"Do you remember saying that you can imagine a life with me?"

She nodded again.

"The last few days, do they match your imagination?"

Yun Hee was about to say something, but apparently Sehun wasn't done yet.

"I don't know about you, but they certainly match mine."

Yun Hee was at a loss of words. Her breathing was getting heavier as time went by with Sehun looking at her intently. His gaze was so passionate that she felt like melting under that gaze.

"Do you know what else did I imagine?"

Yun Hee gaped at him again without saying anyone. It was getting hard for to breath as she could clearly see Sehun leaning towards her continuously. So she did the only thing she could do - moving away from him as he kept on getting closer without breaking their eye-contact. At some point, Yun Hee had to stop when she felt the armrest against her back. But Sehun did not show any sign of stopping, leaning closer and closer to her until there was only an inch long gap between. Their chest heaving up and down rhythmically, their eyes never looking away. Yun Hee felt her vision getting blurred at the close proximity.

"I imagined ending our nights with this." Yun Hee heard a whisper coming from Sehun before feeling a soft pressure on her lips and a soft touch on her neck. Her body became paralyzed under his touch as he kept on moving his lips against hers.

Yun Hee had always found it rubbish when people claimed to see stars or feel butterflies in their stomachs while sharing their expriences of their first kiss. But now that she could feel her own stomach doing backflips and her own heart trying to get out of her body by beating furiously, she knew that those people were right. Those little sparks she could see were not for nothing, after all.

 


 

Hey, this is Anikasen. 

OMG! It took me 20 chapters to make them kiss. I enjoyed it though because I was really anticipating this (Gosh! I sound as if I am a reader and this thing was not planned by me).

Anyways, stay home, stay safe, stay healthy.

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Thank you!
anikasen
The story has a new cover, yay... The credit, once again, goes to none other than, Pearllin.

Comments

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OnCloud9withEXO
#1
Chapter 40: I really hope oneday you will update. Cz this story deserves an ending ♡
real__katepark #2
Chapter 40: Update please. Omg this story is so good. I've cried so hard. I need a happy ending for them. 😭
Qexora #3
Chapter 40: oh no😭please dont fight
Ankita_123 #4
Hi Anika! Hope you're doing well. I'm really worried about you. Doesn't matter when you update the story, please just let us know that you're healthy and doing fine. Praying for your family's well being. Please notify!
OnCloud9withEXO
#5
Chapter 40: I read the full story again >< hshsgdh hELp. Oh I love this story. I was always been a er for arranged marriage AUs and this is so well written.

I wanna upvote it but it says i need 10 karma points or smtn. Anyone knows what's that and how to earn it? 😅 Idk how this aff thingy actually works.

Anyways I hope you update the nxt chap soon ^^. I can't wait to know what's the actually reason of Jieun to meet a psychiatrist 🤔

Another thing! If it's okay then may I ask which country are u from? *-*"
OnCloud9withEXO
#6
Chapter 40: Hey there! I'm not someone to put comments as I'm comfortable being a silent reader but this story is good enough to make me say that I love the way you are keeping the pace in the story and plot. It's not like the other arrange marriage AUs that I've read before. Not those typical ones where they would make the male lead look like jerk, arrogant etc.sehun is such a gentleman here with some flaws ofc,his efforts to make this marriage work. The female character too. Not like those fragile type of ones. I like OCs witha strong character which you put very smoothly in Yun Hee's character. I love the way you portray their feelings, you are making their character development go slow which I prefer.

Keep your good work♡ I really like this story^^. Hoping to get an update soon><
Ankita_123 #7
Chapter 40: Hi Anika! Hope you are doing well and everything is good on the health front, specifically. We're missing you. Be back soon. But prioritize your physical and mental health over everything, please!! Also, you can drop updates about yourself and what new is happening in life as well whenever you feel like putting it out. Take care!
ntsgstn #8
Chapter 40: i’m reading this while listening to Baekhyun’s Cry For Love. the pain!!!
Haru97
#9
Update please 🥺
Haru97
#10
Chapter 40: Ewch m'y heart is crying