Different Insight

Ashes of Dreams

The morning was peaceful. The sunlight was bright, probably because of the snow that was scattered all around the neighborhood, but not severely hot. The light seeping through the uncovered portion of the window was enough to brighten up the whole room.

Sehun felt himself gaining his consciousness because of the movement that had happened on his right. He was about to open his eyes, but had to squeeze them shut because of brightness around him. He turned his face left in order to escape the disturbance, but groaned when he realized that he was directly facing the window. Having no option, he turned to his right and snuggled his face against something fuzzy. That's when the mild of smell of citrus hit his nose, making him sigh in content. He knew that smell, he liked that smell.

Feeling something tickle his nose, Sehun slowly opened his eyes and realized that his vision was blocked by the source of the smell, silky brunette locks. To get rid of the ticklish feeling, he was about to lift his right arm to brush the hair away but found something heavy placed on it, making his arm numb.

Sehun lifted his head to look around himself, but his eyes stopped wandering once they fell on the reason of the numbness of his arm, Oh Yun Hee. Apparently she had left her pillow at some point and was using his right arm as a replacement at that time. She must have been doing it for a while, given that his arm had gotten numb because of the weight. She was hiding her face in his chest, with her right arm wrapped around his waist and her right leg locking his feet. No wonder the blanket wasn't being used to block the sunlight, after all she was using his body for that.

Had it been a minute or an hour, Sehun couldn't tell, all his mind was focused on the person using him as a pillow, her dark brown hair all over his neck, touching his face once in a while. He suddenly felt this desperate urge in him to see her face, but she was sleeping so peacefully that Sehun couldn't find the heart in him to disturb her. So he just let her be and laid there while playing with her hair lazily.

If one were to ask him even a year ago about Yun Hee's appearance, he would have flipped that person off for asking him something he didn't care about. At the beginning of their marriage, he didn't even bother to cast her a look, not like he used to do that before when they were engaged. At the primary stage of their amicable relationship, he did try to observe his wife but failed miserably because every time he would try to do that, he would end up comparing her with Jieun and feel disappointed later because of the differences.

But as time went by, he stopped using Jieun as a scale and started seeing the being Yun Hee was. And the more he saw, the more he felt amazed and the differences between her and Jieun stopped bothering him. His wife was definitely not someone fragile. She was taller than most of the woman out there but still about a head shorter than him, reaching his shoulders. She had quite a strong built for a woman, making her look unbreakable. She was someone who rather die than depend on a man to live. She had the look to make anyone's knee wobble.

Yet, she had this weirdly soft side that was only for the people she relied on, but one would have to know her well to understand that side. She was definitely not someone to do mushy talking or flattering. She was someone to roll her eyes whenever someone would say something cheesy to her. She was sassy, someone who showed her feelings through sarcasm. She was someone to wake you up by pouring a bucket of water if you were late, someone to nag you to death if you skip meals instead of serving food sweetly. She was someone to divert the topic by boasting about herself instead of consoling you with comforting words when you were sad. But she was also the same person who treated Sehun's family as her own, who always made sure to keep everything in check for the people she loved without letting them, who laughed whole heartedly in front of people while cried behind their backs. She was the very person who treated her patients as her family, who made sure to visit the orphanage of her mother twice a week just because she believed that her presence could make them feel needed, who chatted with their household workers on a daily basis as though they were her friends.

She was beautiful from the inside and as well as the outside. Everything about her screamed gorgeousness. Her long brunette hair, round face, doe eyes, button nose, plump lips that was probably puffing out hot air on his chest at that time - everything about her was absolutely marvelous. Most importantly, these were the features that made her the Yun Hee he knew. It's true that everything about her was the complete opposite to Jieun. She was nothing like the sweet spoken, fragile and cute looking Jieun who always made Sehun feel the need to protect her, but she surely made Sehun feel the need to be around her all the time because he knew that she herself would never call for him in times of needs. Sehun admired her.

He felt himself coming back to his senses when he heard the blaring sound of Yun Hee's alarm. That damned annoying sound made him question Yun Hee's sanity every morning. He simply couldn't get how one could bare with that.

As if on cue, he heard Yun Hee groaning, making him feel a buzz around his chest and saw Yun Hee stretching her limbs, hitting his legs and stomach multiple times in the process. She slowly rolled her head away from his chest, using his arm as a support and brought her right hand to cover her eyes the moment she faced the lights, groaning even more. Without opening her eyes, she blindly reached her hand to the bedside table and turned off the alarm on her phone. 

"Good morning!", Sehun said, his eyes trained on her the whole time.

Yun Hee just hummed before removing his hand that was caressing her hair. "Stop doing that. You are going to make me even more sleepy."

"You had quite a good night of sleep, huh? After all, you are still not willing to open your eyes."

"Hmm. It's comfy." She hugged his waist, hiding her face in his chest again.

Sehun smirked. "What is comfy?"

"The blanket", Yun Hee said, tightening her hold. She was definitely in her half asleep state because a widely awake Yun Hee could never be this affectionate.

"I see. The blanket, huh?" His eyes fell on the blanket carelessly wrapped around their waists.

"Hmm."

"Okay, accepted." Sehun placed a kiss on her head before urging her to look up. "Now, open your eyes and get up. You are going to be late."

Yun Hee grumbled before removing the blanket reluctantly and sitting up. "You are so lucky that you don't have to go to the office today", she complained.

"I still have to go out to meet Jongin, you know?"

"Whatever", she whispered.

Sehun could see that she was trying to get rid of the heaviness of her eyes by constantly rubbing them. Then she muttered, "Why are you so warm? You almost felt hot."

Sehun looked at her with keen eyes while she tied her hair in a bun. "Well, Ain't I always hot?" 

He almost laughed when he saw Yun Hee trying to glare at him with her half opened eyes but ended up opening her eyelids wider when they felt too heavy.

"Stop laughing, you idiot." Her voice still raspy. "I meant your temperature."

"I know what you meant, wifey." He looked at her teasingly, "You are feeling hot, not being able to handle my charms", and earned a well deserved smack according to Yun Hee.

Sehun hauled himself up before saying, "Why did you hit me? I was telling the tru..." but couldn't finish the sentence because he felt his vision darkening and was forced to lay down again.

Yun Hee looked at him with pointed eyes. "This is what I was talking about, you moron. You are feverish."

"This is nothing but my overloaded hotness oozing out of me." Sehun shrugged while lying on the bed and looking up at her.

Yun Hee let out a yawn before getting up from the bed. "Whatever it is, it means that you are sick and not allowed to get out of the bed."

"I have work, Hee. I have to get out of the bed. Besides it's nothing. The temperature will go down in a short while."

"I am the doctor here, not you. I know that it's not something serious, but I also know that to get rid of it, you need to take rest. You guys don't run a departmental store that would require you to attend office regularly during New Year's. Besides, if you tell dad that you are busy preparing for our wedding anniversary, he would let you off. After all, it is just a week away. So meeting Jongin can definitely wait", Yun Hee retorted.

"But Yun Hee..."

"La la la... I don't hear anything."

"You are being immature, Hee."

"And you are being noisy, that too early in the morning. It's your fault that you are being confined in bed. Who told you to eat late night ice-cream on a daily basis during winter?"

"You also accompanied me. Then how come you are not sick?", Sehun complained.

"Because I am not the one with an immune system of a baby."

"Why are you so worried?" 

The question seemed to falter Yun Hee's stance. "I am not worried", Yun Hee stammered, "I don't want to nurse you when you get even more sick, you know", she tried to reason. 

Her response made Sehun smirk. He knew that Yun Hee would never admit being worried, even though worry was clearly visible in every part of her face. Sehun liked it when she worried for him, when she cared for him. He felt warm.

"Can't I even get up from the bed to freshen up? I smell really bad, you know?" Sehun was waiting to see the expression on Yun Hee's face and it was worth it.

"Just go to the bathroom, Oh Sehun", she screamed while scrunching her nose in disgust.

 


 

"Yun Hee, the meeting with Jongin was planned a while ago. If I decline now, then he would not let me see the next daylight."

Showing no interest, Yun Hee just nodded her head while buttering a toast before passing it to Sehun. She had literally brought their breakfast to bed and was doing everything for Sehun except feeding him. She was clearly overreacting, but Sehun relished the treatment without complain. After all, he did not get to see this overprotective side of Yun Hee everyday.

"Are you even listening to me, Yun Hee?"

"Hmm." She was clearly busy slicing his omelette, not paying attention to what he was saying.

Sehun looked at her so focused on his breakfast. "Then why don't you also stay with me at home? You can easily take care of me then."

"Sehun, if I stay at home, then I might have to say goodbye to my residency." Sehun noticed that she didn't say no to taking care of him. "Now eat fast. I need to leave."

"You can leave, you know. I can handle myself now."

"Hmm, I will leave", she said without looking up at him, not showing any sign of getting up. And she did stay, until she made him finish his breakfast and passed him medicines, making sure to see him taking them. Once he was done, she took his temperature. Sehun was expecting that she would give him some lenience once she saw that he was fine. He was waiting to see her features getting relaxed, but realized that was not going to happen when he saw her brows furrowing even more.

"Look, what you have gotten yourself into?", she said, shoving the thermometer to his face.

"Yun Hee, 38°C isn't that..."

"Mister! You better take rest as much as possible. Don't you dare exhaust yourself in my absence. I will ask the maids to keep an eye on you." She got up from the bed and cleaned all the leftovers before lifting the tray of food and medicine. "And I will try to come home early. Take care." And then she was gone. 

Sehun looked at the closed door and smiled before picking up his phone and dialling for Jongin. If this was going to happen everytime he got sick, then he could clearly get used to it.

 


 

"Why am I being treated as your errand boy?", Jongin grumbled.

"Because according to my wife, I am sick and not allowed to get out of the house", Sehun gave him a smug look.

Jongin gave him a scornful look before saying, "Well, as far as I know, your wife has confined you to your bed and has told you not to work. Then why am I here?"

"How did you know about Yun Hee telling me not to get out of the bed?"

It was Jongin's turn to smirk. "Your wife tells me everything, you know."

"Does she know that you are here?", Sehun asked, this time his voice a bit hesitant.

Jongin smiled teasingly. "Why? Are you feeling scared?"

"Shut up and tell me." Sehun clenched his teeth.

"Dude, are you stupid or what? Isn't it obvious?"

"You told her?"

"She was the one who asked me to inform her if you called me to work."

"And you listened to her? Wow! What a good friend you are!" Sehun looked at him, faking disbelief. Then he let out a smile. Their cat and mouse relationship was surely amusing.

When Jongin saw Sehun smiling, he pretended to pay no attention. He just took out his laptop and set it on the tea table place before them and said, "Okay, enough talking. Let's get to work now."

"Fine. You have started to annoy me now, anyways. If you stay here more than an hour, then I am surely going to get sick." Sehun smirked.

"Same here." Jongin laughed.

 


 

"Why is it that he is getting normal lunch while I am getting this tasteless porridge?", Sehun whined as a maid placed their lunches on the table.

"It's young miss's order, sir. She had told us to serve you only porridge before leaving the house."

Sehun didn't know what to say. Yun Hee's actions had totally rendered him speechless. Jongin was literally rolling around the couch while laughing and clutching his stomach. Even the maid was struggling to keep her expression straight.

"Sir, may I leave?", the maid asked while trying to stiffle her laugh.

"Yes, yes. You may. Besides no one can do anything about it." Jongin gave a playful look at Sehun while Sehun glared. "After all, it's the order of the first lady", Jongin said, his hand clutching his stomach the whole time.

The maid looked at Sehun for a moment and saw his flustered expression. So before he could lash out, the maid just bowed and left the room. Jongin also started controlling his laughing fit when Sehun threw a cushion right on his face.

"Why is she worrying so much?", Sehun said while sitting down on the sofa.

Jongin just shrugged his shoulders before saying, "Easy, she cares for you."

"I know that she cares for me." Sehun let out a sigh. Then a smile slowly appeared on his face. "But I didn't know that she does to this extent until now. She really doesn't know how to show her care properly, does she?", Sehun chuckled.

"Nope. After all, she is a top class idiot with an IQ slightly higher than us", Jongin replied, his tone full of mischief.

"A cute one. But nonetheless, an idiot." Both of them laughed as they high fived each other.

"So, how is everything going on between you two?", Jongin said as both of them sat down to eat their lunches. "Yun Hee seems really happy nowadays, you know?"

"I don't know", Sehun said as he leaned on the sofa and let out a sigh before clearing his throat. "We are doing good. Really good, in my opinion. But she doesn't seem to talk to me about her feelings or doubts, you know. She always keeps them to herself."

Jongin let out an empty chuckle. "Dude, she loves you. That's the ultimate conclusion of her feelings."

Sehun could sense the slight bitternes in his voice, but didn't acknowledge it because he knew better than to make things awakward between them. Jongin had the right to feel bad about his unrequited love and Sehun would let him be. Him saying anything to Jongin would seem like rubbing salt on his wounds. After all the girl Jongin loved had feelings for himself, even though Sehun was less deserving. That's why, Sehun felt grateful towards Yun Hee for loving him despite of everything. But this was also the reason why he felt insecure. What if one day Yun Hee woke up to realize that he was not deserving of her love and left him? That's why he always felt the need to Yun Hee's feelings, her reactions. But his wife was hell bent on not letting him know.

"I know that buddy. But I can't help feeling that her doubts about me might be overpowering that love of her."

"Now, you are underestimating her. Dude, that girl devotedly crushed on a guy she never got to see for more than 7 years and here you are, worrying over her losing feelings for you, her first love in a couple of months. Give her some credit, bro", Jongin said while shaking his head. "Have some faith on her. Instead of losing your hair over the thought of her falling out of love with you, focus on sorting out your feelings. Unrequited loves are tough, bro. Don't let her suffer from it. I am speaking from my experience."

Hearing the last sentence, Sehun was about to say something but Jongin beat him to it.

"But we are not going to talk about that. We are talking about your feelings for Yun Hee. Can you define them yet, Sehun?"

The question made Sehun pause for a while. His mind played all the moments he had spent with Yun Hee and the feelings those moments gave him. He remembered her smile, her laugh, her way of talking, her sarcasm, her sassiness, her tendency to pick fight with him over the silliest matters and all the happy moments. Then he remembered her sadness, her tendency to hide her tears, her worry over his ex, retracting herself from him, him missing her cheerfulness and all the regretful moments. All of them had let them to where they were then. His feeling towards her consisted of gratefulness, admiration, hope, trust, care, concern, happiness, contentment and maybe, something more. She had taken over his thoughts, his emotions and had started affecting him with her every actions. Living with her for a year made Sehun content, happy and he couldn't help looking forward to their future. Everything seemed to point at one thing and one thing only.

Sehun looked at Jongin and saw that Jongin was looking at him with an expectant look, which turned into a confused one after seeing Sehun grinning at him. 

"I think I can", Sehun said, his smile never leaving his face. "Now can you tell me the name of the guy she used to have a crush on?"

 


 

Yun Hee took the thermometer from Sehun's mouth and brought it closer to her eyes to check the temperature, while Sehun had his eyes trained on her face. It was not everyday he got to see the doctor his wife was. Her eyes were focused on the thermometer and her front teeth were biting her lower lips. When she was done checking the temperature, she looked up and made eye contact with him, her focused expression changed one of confusion when she saw him smiling.

"... is so funny?" Sehun didn't know that he was lost in his thoughts until he saw her flicking her fingers in front of his eyes.

"Huh?", he asked, not hearing what she asked.

"I asked what is so funny. You had a goofy smile on your face", Yun Hee asked, curiosity etched on her face.

"You are really pretty."

The reply seemed to catch Yun Hee totally off-gaurd as she coughed lightly before letting out an awkward chuckle. "And you got to know that just now? I have always been pretty", she said while clearing and rubbing her nape. Her answer was confident but her expression didn't quite match with her reply.

So she was one of those people who were not good with handling compliments, huh? Sehun smiled at the thought. She did have a cute side in her.

"Okay, enough of complimenting my beauty. I checked your temperature and you seem to be doing well", she said while rearranging the first aid box. Her attempt of avoiding his scrutinizing gaze was adorable.

"So does that mean I can go back to doing the things you had stopped me from doing?"

"What did I even stopped you from do..."

"From getting out of the bed..."

"Which you did", Yun Hee countered.

"...from going out to meet Jongin..."

"You called him home."

"...from eating normal food during lunch..."

"Which you just had for dinner before taking your medicines."

"...and this..."

"Wha..."

Yun Hee had to stomach her words because her lips were sealed by the ones of her husband in a soft kiss. Not that she minded, because she also found herself kissing him back. She could not have stopped herself anyway because it was one of those kisses where they were just brushing their lips against each other in very slow speed, as if trying to know what the other tasted like and savoring that taste. It was one of those kisses that could actually make you feel butterflies in your stomach, which was really happening to Yun Hee at that time. She didn't know if she could ever get used to his kisses.

When Sehun slowly retracted from the kiss, he still kept their foreheads attached and whispered, "Let's watch a movie while cuddling on the couch, hmm?." to which Yun Hee found herself agreeing because all she could register was the warm breath of Sehun on her lips.

 

Sehun looked down at the person he was holding in his arms when he heard a loud yawn coming from her.

"Aish! Why are feeling sleepy so early? Are you feeling that comfortable in my arms?"

"You wish!", Yun Hee said while fighting another yawn. "It's all because of the blanket." She clutched blanket tightly that was pulled upto her chin.

"And the sweater that you are wearing", Sehun taunted while pointing at the sweater he had bought for her as a christmas gift.

"About the sweater, why does it seem so big today?", Yun Hee said while holding up her hand to show him the sleeves that were hanging.

Sehun smirked when he realized the reason and tightened his hold around her while placing his head atop hers. "Maybe because you are wearing mine."

"No wonder." Yun Hee shook her head lazily before scooting closer to him and closing the almost non existing gap between their bodies. Sehun smiled when he saw her showing no move to take off the sweater and snuggled against her hair. Yun Hee's eyes were getting droopy, the dialogues of the movie were probably working as a lullaby for her.

Sehun laughed softly when Yun Hee turned around and nestled her face in his chest, her hands wrapping around Sehun's chest. It was only a matter of before Yun Hee fell asleep with Sehun her hair. Sehun placed a kiss on her forehead before picking her up in his arms and carried him to their bedroom, her arms wrapped around his neck and face snuggled against his neck.

When Sehun placed her on the bed while slowly entangling her arms from his neck, Yun Hee opened her eyes a bit and looked at him with an unreadable expression. Seeing that, Sehun got down on his knees and smiled while caressing her hair.

"Go back to sleep, you sleepyhead."

"Sehun." Yun Hee whispered, her eyes almost closed.

"Hmm?"

"I love you." Then she closed her eyes again. 

Sehun placed a soft kiss on her forehead and smiled. His minds kept playing these words over and over again as he gazed at her peaceful face.

I think I am also falling in love with you, Yun Hee.

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anikasen
The story has a new cover, yay... The credit, once again, goes to none other than, Pearllin.

Comments

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OnCloud9withEXO
#1
Chapter 40: I really hope oneday you will update. Cz this story deserves an ending ♡
real__katepark #2
Chapter 40: Update please. Omg this story is so good. I've cried so hard. I need a happy ending for them. 😭
Qexora #3
Chapter 40: oh no😭please dont fight
Ankita_123 #4
Hi Anika! Hope you're doing well. I'm really worried about you. Doesn't matter when you update the story, please just let us know that you're healthy and doing fine. Praying for your family's well being. Please notify!
OnCloud9withEXO
#5
Chapter 40: I read the full story again >< hshsgdh hELp. Oh I love this story. I was always been a er for arranged marriage AUs and this is so well written.

I wanna upvote it but it says i need 10 karma points or smtn. Anyone knows what's that and how to earn it? 😅 Idk how this aff thingy actually works.

Anyways I hope you update the nxt chap soon ^^. I can't wait to know what's the actually reason of Jieun to meet a psychiatrist 🤔

Another thing! If it's okay then may I ask which country are u from? *-*"
OnCloud9withEXO
#6
Chapter 40: Hey there! I'm not someone to put comments as I'm comfortable being a silent reader but this story is good enough to make me say that I love the way you are keeping the pace in the story and plot. It's not like the other arrange marriage AUs that I've read before. Not those typical ones where they would make the male lead look like jerk, arrogant etc.sehun is such a gentleman here with some flaws ofc,his efforts to make this marriage work. The female character too. Not like those fragile type of ones. I like OCs witha strong character which you put very smoothly in Yun Hee's character. I love the way you portray their feelings, you are making their character development go slow which I prefer.

Keep your good work♡ I really like this story^^. Hoping to get an update soon><
Ankita_123 #7
Chapter 40: Hi Anika! Hope you are doing well and everything is good on the health front, specifically. We're missing you. Be back soon. But prioritize your physical and mental health over everything, please!! Also, you can drop updates about yourself and what new is happening in life as well whenever you feel like putting it out. Take care!
ntsgstn #8
Chapter 40: i’m reading this while listening to Baekhyun’s Cry For Love. the pain!!!
Haru97
#9
Update please 🥺
Haru97
#10
Chapter 40: Ewch m'y heart is crying