Yun Hee was staring at the lamp on her desk. It glowed so bright, so much that Sehun had turned the other way to sleep. The lamp was illuminating the whole room, the yellow light highlighting his sleeping figure on the bed. The lamp's light seemed like it would pass through anything, it was so strong and so bold. Just like them, they looked like that too, like everything was alright and they would pass through this together. Like they were the lamp's bright light.

Yun Hee smiled sadly. She could turn this lamp off. It would be dark, pitch black.

Someone could easily destroy them just like she could press that switch and pull that plug and turn this lamp off. There would be no light, it's like they would vanish into thin air, going back to square one, where they had started with hating each other.

She remember the night, two days ago. She remembered her insecurities turning into these fuzzy feelings she couldn't describe, under the twinkling stars and safe embrace. Then she remembered all the insecurities rushing back to her, sweeping away all her warm feelings like a storm. Being a realistic and an intern on heart surgery, she had always found the metaphor of broken heart complete rubbish, but that night, she swore she could feel something breaking inside her and rendering her completely helpless.

She looked at the back of Sehun that was facing her. His shoulders were heaving up and down steadily, indicating that he was fast asleep. He was so close that she could instantly touch him with her fingers, yet so far that whenever she stretched out her fingers to touch him she couldn't reach him. He was like mirage, waiting for her to get pulled towards him only to disappear from her grasp.

She retracted her hand and turned to lay on the opposite side. She looked at the lamp and turned it off abruptly. Being in the light - putting up her strong upfront was getting more and more tiring. As if sensing that the annoyance he was previously avoiding was gone, Sehun turned slightly to lie on his back, with his head lulling to face her partially.

Perhaps, they were better in the dark, where Sehun could be comfortable in facing her, where she could let out her tears without fearing anything and where they could be on the same page, letting out their all in the dark instead of pretending to be strong in front of the light. Perhaps, it was coming out in the light that was stopping them from moving forward. Perhaps, some things were better left at dark, like their feelings; Sehun's feelings for Jieun and Yun Hee's feelings for Sehun.

Yun Hee felt her chest sizing in pride as she was clasping her hands tightly while Sehun was giving his speech. She could hardly keep herself in place when she could clearly see the expression in Sehun's face. It was the face of a person who was basking in the pure happiness of proving his worth. Sehun had done it and Yun Hee couldn't be prouder. When Yun Hee saw her father-in-law approaching Sehun and shaking his hand while patting his shoulder, she almost shot out of her seat just to clap for the two Oh's. 

At that point, Sehun looked her way and beamed at her, which accelerated her heartbeat and made her shy. So when he looked away, Yun Hee turned to her right and picked up Ara from her seat to give her a bone crushing hug, not being able to contain her happiness. The innocent baby was  the wrapper of the candy she had eaten earlier. She had been abruptly pulled out of her peaceful reverie only to get wrapped by a human sized blanket, also known as her aunt. Yun Hee held her tightly and gushed out of happiness. Not being able to handle it anymore, the child squirmed in her hold which made Yun Hee loosen her arms and turn her around to show her the stage where Sehun was being congratulated.

"Look at your uncle, honey. He looks really happy, right? Lets clap for him loudly, okay?"

Then Yun Hee held the tiny palms and clasped them together repeatedly, making Ara giggle in the process.

"I know, you are not able to control the love you are feeling for your husband at this moment, but I would seriously appreciate it if you would stop smothering my daughter, Oh Yun Hee", came Yun Yeong's taunting whisper in her right ear, who was occupying the seat on Ara's other side.

"Define the type of love you are talking about, Yeong", said Yun Hee before looking at the stage nonchalantly while clapping. She felt a shuffle on right and found Yun Yeong sitting on the seat where Ara was sitting previously. Then she grabbed Yun Hee's arm to turn her towards herself.

"Don't try to twist my words on me, Hee. You know what type of love I am talking about." She left Yun Hee's arm and whispered in her ear, almost teasingly. "You are totally in love with your husband."

Yun Hee looked at her with a gasp. "What makes you say something like that? I mean how can you be so sure?" She was still shocked at what Yun Yeong said.

"Well, I know about the truce thing you two had over the new boyfriend of his ex. It has been months since then."

"So what? It doesn't prove anything. Sehun could be just a friend to me and I would still be as happy as now. After all, I am equally happy for Jongin."

"Well, that's true. I saw the same proud smile you had when Jongin was on the stage before Sehun. But the difference is in your reaction. When Jongin waved at you from the stage, you made funny faces at him. But when Sehun looked your way, you simply blushed. I know you, Hee. I know how you do weird antics to hide your embarrassment. You were doing the same thing with Ara to hide your blush." Then Yun Yeong turned to look forward and focused on the speech of one of the investors of the project as if nothing happened.

But Yun Hee couldn't stay calm after the small lecture from Yun Yeong. The questions in her mind started to haunt her again. She looked at where Sehun was, sitting with Jongin, Mr. Oh and Mr. Kim in one table.

She knew that he was handsome, it was a known fact to all the people who had seen him. But she never paid him more attention than the initial acknowledgement every time they had met before their wedding. Even after that, she never spared him much of glance. But the last few days, she started feeling some changes in her. Whenever her eyes met the ones of Sehun, they would not just stop staring at him, not even after he would look away. Sometimes even without her knowing, she would start observing Sehun's movements, how he walked, how he talked, how he held his spoon. 

And everytime Sehun smiled at her, her heartbeat would pick up a new pace. This probably couldn't be the love Yun Yeong was referring to, could it?

Yun Hee was looking straight in a daze as she called out for her sister. "Yeong, how did you know that you were in love with Chanyeol? How did you realize that your feelings for him were love, not just infatuation?" Then she looked at Yun Yeong.

Yun Yeong turned to her another side where Chanyeol was sitting while attentively listening to the speech. She took his hand, to which he gave her hand a light squeeze and smiled. Then he faced forward and Yun Yeong looked back at Yun Hee. She sighed a little before giving her a mild smile. "There is no correct definition, Hee. You just know it."

Even though it had been almost a week since that conversation, Yun Hee had assumed that she had all the time in the world to sort out her feelings, so she didn't pay much attention to them.

People say that you only know what you had when lose it. Yun Hee was never the one to complain about her plight, but that night, lying on the bed beside Sehun, she found it unfair how she started getting to know her feelings for him, only when she realized that she never had him in the first place.

It had been two weeks since that event. The pain was still there, but it was duller. Time is really quite a healer.

When he first got to know about Jieun's new boyfriend, Sehun knew mature enough to admit that he had been left behind by her. But probably he was that mature since there were still some hidden parts in him which still did not believe that she could move on from him. After all they were in a relationship for years, something he somewhat believed, could not be ended in just nine months. Those parts in him were the ones that perished that night when he got that news. 

The first week, all he did was eat, go to office, cry, sleep and repeat. He wanted to let himself be distracted but nothing could take his mind off that something that he thought would be permanent in his life. He had basked in the happy satisfaction, assuming it would last forever. That was why when it was seized from him, Sehun had felt the sky break down on his head. It hit hard, like it was supposed to. And he couldn't really just expect himself to get over Jieun so easily when she had messed up his entire life.

He was so engrossed in his own misery that he failed to acknowledge his surroundings, not that he was actually willing to acknowledge them. He refused to talk about his pain when his best friend bugged him one day, even though they were not supposed to talk after their argument. Jongin had looked at him that day with eyes full of pity and he didn't want that.

He didn't need pity.

He didn't need anybody, except the person who was hurting him.

That was what the irrational part of his mind was telling him and he followed that because of the raw pain he was feeling. 

But in the second week, a furious looking Jongin not only knocked on the door of his office to lecture him about his carelessness, but also knocked some sense into his head as he reminded him of the life he had had before the event. And that's when he remembered his wife he had not heard from for a week, the last thing he remembered about her was taking notice of the blanket she had placed on him after waking up on the couch in the next morning. That was it, nothing else in a whole week. Guilt had hit him like a truck, upon the realization. That's when he had had felt a sudden desperation in him to go back to the life he had a week ago.

So, in the second week, he started working on himself. He stopped moping around whenever he got the time and started paying attention to what was happening around him. And then he realized that the reason why he never got to see his wife in the past week was because she was never at home when he was there, at least not awake. She would be gone even before he would wake up in the morning and come back when he would already be asleep. He tried to remember if she had mentioned any reason for her staying out for so long, but his mind could not come up with anything.

Regret washed over him when he remembered the next two days of that night. In those two days, Yun Hee had approached him for breakfast, only left the house after informing him, announced her arrival when she came back from the hospital, approached him for dinner and wished him good nights before going to sleep, like always. It was him who never bothered to pay any heed for bringing himself back to his regular life, always remaining in his cocoon. So it was only normal for her to give up trying after that.

Now that he thought back about it, he felt like he had been selfish, to a woman who was giving this marriage a chance, giving him a chance to shed the past and live happily with her. 

But something inside him told him that Yun Hee had not simply given up on trying to bring him back to his normal life, she had stopped interacting with him altogether after those two days. It was as if something had dawned upon her on the second night that made her start creating distance between them, he was a foolish for noticing that too late. No matter how much he wanted to ask Yun Hee if anything went wrong, he couldn't. Because everything was wrong and he knew that it was solely because of him. So instead of looking back at the past week, he decided to check if anything was actually wrong with Yun Hee by being normal himself.

Sehun woke up at dawn, with the help of the clamor of his alarm. He turned to face the other side of the bed and sighed in relief when he saw that it was being occupied by his wife. The last few days, he never got see Yun Hee coming to the bed or getting out of the bed, so he wasn't sure if she was really sleeping in the room or not. So when he saw his wife beside him, he felt relieved.

He looked at Yun Hee and saw that her eyes were closed, but her breathing was uneven. Sehun knew that she was a light-sleeper and even the softest noise would be able to wake her up. It was obvious that Yun Hee was awake, but he decided to let it slide. Maybe she was trying to fall back to sleep since it was still too early for her to wake up. He slowly removed the blanket off his body and got up from the bed before covering Yun Hee with the blanket properly. She did not move even the slightest which made his eyebrows furrow in confusion, because sleeping or awake, Yun Hee always had the tendency to cuddle her blanket. He went to the washroom and gave Yun Hee one last look to see if she was awake. But when he got no response, he closed the door behind him softly.

Sehun opened the door of the washroom, expecting to find Yun Hee still sleeping in the bed. But for some reasons, the empty bed did not surprise him at all. If anything, it strengthened his hunch somewhat. He went to the room and saw that the lights in the closet were on, saw he sat on the bed and kept waiting for Yun Hee to come out. It took a while before Yun Hee came out of the closet, fully ready to start the day.

"Good morning."

Yun Hee jumped slightly at the sudden greeting and turned to look at him. Then she put up a huge smile on her face, a smile too huge to be considered real.

"Oh! You scared me. Didn't see you there. Good morning to you too." 

Then she went towards the mirror and picked up her stethoscope from there. Sehun observed her as she kept pacing around the room without sparing him a single glance, when usually she would be making small chitchats with him while getting ready for her day. So today, Sehun decided to start a small conversation.

"You didn't take your shower? I mean, I have never seen you missing that."

Yun Hee looked at him, with shock all over her face as if he had grown two heads, probably because she didn't expect him to talk to her after not doing so at all for two weeks

"Umm, I had early morning shifts for a whole week, counting today, so I have to take my showers at night."

"Ah! I didn't see you doing so, so I didn't know the change in your routine."

Yun Hee stared at him for a while and Sehun could swear that her eyes had turned accusing for a very short moment, but she was quick to dismiss it.

"It's okay. It's not a big deal." And that Yun Hee left the room abruptly. Sehun followed her out of the room and saw her calling Mr. Jun to inform him that she would have her breakfast on her way while climbing down the stairs. Sensing that she was about to leave, Sehun was about to call for her, but she beat him to it.

"Bye, Sehun. Have a nice day." And she was out of the house. Sehun had never imagined that talking to his chatterbox of a wife could ever feel this cold.

It was already 10:30 pm, but Yun Hee was still not home. Sehun asked Mr. Jun if she was coming home this late in the past days too, he affirmed him in reply. Sehun felt a bile forming in his throat when Mr. Jun informed him that the first time she was this late, he went to their bedroom to call for Sehun, but he was already fast asleep. He gulped the bile that had formed and asked Mr. Jun tentatively how much longer it was going to take her to return.

"I think you should retire to bed because miss is going to take about an hour to come home", came the obvious reply from Mr. Jun, a clear indication of Yun Hee's late night arrivals. Sehun was about to interrogate him more, but then he decided that if he was going to talk about this with anyone, then it would be only Yun Hee, not any third party. Besides, he knew that Mr. Jun was not someone to meddle into anyone else's business, so he probably knew the basic information only. 

Sehun had to have a heart to heart talk with his wife.

But when the clock kept ticking loudly to let him know that it was already 12 am, he got more and more frantic. He had tried her phone a few times, but it never got through. Then he tried the phone of Min Ah and Baekhyun respectively, but none of them picked up. His legs were about to give up underneath him for pacing around their humongous living room continuously after a vigorous day of work, but this gnawing feeling inside him still didn't let him rest. It was the first time he was waiting for someone this anxiously and he never wanted to do it again. Waiting for someone without having a clue about her whereabouts is very draining. His mind kept coming up with the worst case scenarios and he kept shaking his head to get rid of them.

He remembered the first days of their marriage when he used to be gone for who knows where and everytime, Yun Hee would be there to receive him, He used be gone for hours, yet she would be wide awake waiting for him. He used to be drunk, but he was not someone who forgot what had happened to him in his drunk state. He knew that Yun Hee did everything possible to keep him comfortable in his miserable condition. She used to make sure that he was safely escorted to their, had the staffs change him into something comfortable, took care of his hangover. She had always been someone who can't help caring for people.

Sehun wondered he was also a part of the random people and the thought itself hit him hard in his guts. He didn't want to be just a random person to Yun Hee.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the front door opening and Mr. Jun's "Welcome home, young mistress." His face instantly turned to look at the source of the noise and found a drained out Yun Hee greeting Mr. Jun back tiredly. She seemed so tired that she had to take keep holding onto the door to keep her balance. Sehun felt his insides churning when he saw Yun Hee almost falling while trying to walk forward and rushed to where she was.

"Careful", he shot out as he reached there to hold her up. Yun Hee looked up at his face and stared at him for a good while with a dumbfounded face, as if she could not believe his presence, while he carefully dragged her towards the couch.

"Sehun", she whispered as she touched his hand that was around her waist. 

Sehun inspected her face and saw that it was difficult for to even keep her eyes open. "What happened to you? Why are you feeling this weak? Did you skip your meals?"

When Yun Hee didn't reply, he felt frustrated and his tone raised a bit higher. "Answer me. You skipped your meals, didn't you? And why are you so late? Why didn't you inform me beforehand? I was so worried and was wondering if....."

"Sehun", came a meek whisper from Yun Hee and Sehun knew that it was his cue to stop. Her droopy eyes looked teary, if his eyes weren't betraying him.

"I am tired, Sehun. Of everything. Give me a break please, will you?" And Sehun knew that she meant much more than just her current state with that everything.

Then she got up slowly and made her way towards their room, while Sehun watched her move. She stumbled a few times in her steps, but Sehun didn't get up to help her because he knew better. Yun Hee wanted to be left alone by him for a while.

The tables had turned slightly, because it was now Sehun at the bitter end of being denied by someone. The situation was even worse because he had come to care for that someone enough to feel his guts getting punched at when she refused to acknowledge his presence.