Is it that hard to tell me what's going on?

I've been opening up with him; telling him all my worries may it be petty or shallow and even regarding at work which is mostly I'm more vocal about recently. He knew what's been bothering me and even if there is a time he can't comfort me physically, Chanyeol never failed to make me hope for the best. He could always make me look on the brighter side of things. 

But he's this selfish when it comes to issues that he thinks will make me worry. I just want to be someone who can lighten his burden as he does to me.

Would that be too much to ask?

I pushed myself gently off him, removing his arms around me before wiping my own tears, "You're not going to tell me?" I muttered softly. Despite after I wiping these tears, they kept rolling down out of control. I just don't understand why he keeps his mouth shut when it comes to things that are bothering him. 

Why does he like keeping problems to himself?

"You forgot, didn't you?" I asked, looking sideways towards a window where the light from the afternoon sun seeps in the linen drapes. I didn't think I would be acting like this and I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it.

I couldn't look at his eyes anymore. The more I look, the more I realize that hidden behind his beautiful smile, his eyes reflect another expression that I didn't notice.

"I just didn't want this to make you worry." He muttered.

"So you just keep it to yourself?... Will it become worse if you tell me?" 

I saw his hand move, reaching for me but I gently pushed his hand away. However, the lump inside my throat grew and my control over my emotions got the better of me. My soft cries turn into sobs. Even if I had pushed his hand away, I no longer have the strength to push his embrace from me when he leaned closer.

Immediately, I melted within his warmth; face buried on the crook of his neck while my hands clutch the side of his shirt tightly.

I thought we're getting comfortable with each other. I thought we're open to each other's feelings as I had been telling everything and he never failed to comfort me. However, that was just me.

I felt like was in a bubble.

And I was alone in it. Be burst it out after he made me realize where he had put me. He left me alone in that bubble where both of us should be in the first place.

I'm very grateful that he listens and helps me in any way he can, but I want to be of help to him too. I want him to tell me his worries too, I want to listen too. 

"You said... You said that we'll talk it out... before we decide anything..." I cried, breath hitching in between words. "Why are you leaving me out?" 

His embrace tightened and a hand then the back of my head gently. I felt him breathing deeply on the side of my head before muttering, "I'm sorry."

I never knew I could cry like this. I wanted to stop but I couldn't. My throat hurts and my chest feels tight. I don't want to cry this long.

"I for forgetting our promise... I'm really sorry, Chaeyoung." 

He kept on rubbing my back gently while I continued to cry but tried so hard to calm down. He kept whispering his apologies and after a few minutes of collecting myself together, Chanyeol left me in the living room to get me some water. I can see how the change in his expression as soon as I was able to look him in the eyes even if he couldn't look back at me.

When he came back, he sat beside me but faced me, pulling his leg up in the couch then took his phone out from his back pocket, "I didn't erase the number just in case. I've received so many of these and I've already lost count on how many times I changed my number." He mutters as he opened his message inbox before handing over his phone to me.

There were several unknown numbers but I chose to open the most recent message which was two weeks ago. 

Come to think of it, it was two weeks ago since he changed his number. 

We were told not to respond in case people like this decided to invade our personal space but I was surprised to see a reply from him. I decided to scroll up to find out how long he had been receiving messages from unknown senders and what made him respond. But before I could scroll up to the top, my eyes widened when this sender sent him a picture of this apartment building. Then, my breath hitches when I recognized myself, wearing the same clothes I wore a month ago which was the last time I visited his place. 

If this picture is posted somewhere, it would be easy to identify me since I didn't bother to change clothes that I wore in a fan sign event. The message after the picture made me a bit angry.

"Break up with her or we will spread rumors."

Suddenly, Chanyeol sighs softly before muttering, "I'd love to take legal action but there's no way I can find out who sent that picture. So my manager told me to tell you not to come over for now just to appease those people."

"I'm sorry. I should've been more careful." I muttered, looking at him who now wears a pained smile. 

"It's not your fault. There are just those kinds of people."

I then continued scrolling down and found his response 3 days after the persistent messages from the sender who had been expressing their anger about him being in a relationship.

"I hope you realize what you're doing is wrong. Please understand that we still have private lives that we want to keep to ourselves. And I'm sorry if you feel that way but I want to be happy too. We're normal people who also fall in love."

That's the last and only exchange he made with the sender.

"I kinda had an idea what it's about," I said, lifting my head up to look at him once again. "The last time I was here, you were sleeping on my lap when your phone started buzzing nonstop. I didn't need to check the messages to know that its sasaengs... What I'm upset about is you didn't tell me... We always talk, Chanyeol and I've never heard you tell me something that been bothering or making you worried. Not that I'm hoping that something's bothering you but, not even the simplest worries?... You always, always make me smile with your happy stories every day."

He then forced a smile, saying, "I tell you I miss you so bad..."

I rolled my eyes with his remark but it didn't fail to make me crack a smile, "That's not what I meant..."

I then hand over his phone back to him, looking straight in his eyes. The thought I suddenly had in my head somehow made me well up tears again, "Do you know what I was thinking the first time I sang you to sleep? -- I hope the be a person you'd open up to. Sometimes, your problems should be your own but it doesn't mean no one would listen. I guess, even if we're in this relationship you still wouldn't open up to me." 

He then bowed his head but I could see how his forehead crease and brows furrowed tightly. Seconds later, he started sniffling.

Was he trying not to cry? 

Did he avoid looking at me because he doesn't want me to see him cry?

Right then, I knew that this isn't just about those messages anymore. Chanyeol is just the kind of person who will mask his pain by smiling like an idiot. He always seem so happy and positive but keeps all those negative feeling to himself.

I just don't want him to cry alone anymore. 

I couldn't bear it any longer so I immediately moved closer to him, pulling him by the hand and catching him with an embrace he willing gave me. Head over my bare shoulder, I kept caressing his nape while caging me inside his tight h