A/n
(Please let me have some feed back on this update. How I miss you all)
 

"Are you ok baek?" Lucas asks as I stop just outside the cafe.

"I can't do this I'm sorry. I have so much on my plate and being here with you isn't fixing it, I'm sorry Lucas but I need to go"

Walking away holding tight onto my bag I reach my car. Throwing my bag in the back I climb in slamming the door closed and taking a deep breath. Chanyeol has crossed the line today and today is the day I sort my life out. I have my solo album out very soon. I have SuperM promotions and a EXO concert all to get ready for.

Clipping on my seat belt I start the car and head to the nearest phone store to buy a new phone. Once I have that already and sorted I ring Suho remembering his number off by heart.

"Hello"

"Hey Suho its me Baek"

"Baek where are you are you ok?"

"I'm ok I guess, you heard what happened after I left the dorm?"

"Yes Sehun told me, baek is lucas with you?"

"No I am alone. I got a new phone so this is my new number. Can you send me everyones number"

"Baek you have all the numbers in the cloud on your email"

"Oh right yeah sorry Suho I forgot"

"That's ok, I'm worried about you baek"

"I'm not gonna lie I am hanging on by a thread"

I start to ball my eyes out sobbing down the phone making poor suho panic.

"Baek..... Baek.... Tell me where you are?"

"In the carpark in front of the phone store"
I sniff and try wipe my tears.

"Look Baek, meet me at the old secret park, do you remember it?"

"Yeah I remember"

"OK you head there now and mamma bear will be there soon"

Giggling to myself as the name we gave Suho I start the car and hang up the phone heading to the secret park.

***

Parking the car I climb out and start to walk to the little park were me and Suho use to go to talk without anyone else around. It was off the beaten track away from the roads or paths people out walking would miss it.

Finally making it through the overgrown bushes I reach my destination and take a seat on the grass looking out at some beautiful colourful tress blowing in the wind.

"Hey, oh come here" Suho arrives kneeling down hugging me into his chest as I burst out crying.

"Let it all out sweetheart" he whispers rocking me back and forward untill I finally calm down.

"Hey I brought you food" he moves and sits beside me opening a little bag and passing me some food. "Thank you, I didn't realise how hungry I was till now" I pop open the lid of the food and start eating to the smiles of Suho my momma bear.

"How you feeling now?" he asks making me huff out a little.

"I'm tired and exhausted mentally Suho. I'm trying to do the right things but it isn't good enough. I have so much to do and I don't know where to start". I put the empty food container down and wipe my mouth in a napkin.

"I know you are, I can see it in you. So talk to me and get everything off your chest" he opens a can of pop and passes it to me.

"Well me and Chanyeol made love lastnight. I thought it was makeup but turned out it was break up " I watch as he just stares at me "Go on" he says moving closer to me sitting beside me with our shoulders touching. This is his way of letting us know he cares without hugging us because if he does hug us we will cry out and not get our feelings out like we should.

"Well you know what heppend this morning him calling me a . Then he drove to meet Lucas pretending to be me and when he got there he...... He...."

"Its ok baek you can tell me"

"He threw all the lingerie at Lucas and called me a in front of him. He told him he could have me and left. I was so embarrassed Suho how could he"

Turning to face Suho looking at me so softly and worried I burst out crying.

"Hey shhhh it's ok" he grabs my hand in his holding it tight as comfort.

"Lucas was still there after I asked Sehun and him to leave. He walked me outside and asked me for a coffee. I said yes and then stopped outside the cafe and told him I couldn't"

"Why did you stop, why not go in with him it was just coffee right? " I look at Suho and wonder is this a trick question. Is he trying to see where my feelings are.

"I stopped because it felt wrong. I am Vulnerable right now and don't need anything more to mess it all up" he smiles as if proud of me and keeps sipping his drink.

"What about Chanyeol?" he watches me again as I look out ahead of the trees. "He is hurting over me. He hates me and I tried to fix it but he won't get past this. We are over for good and I need to try move on as best I can" wiping my tears again Suho let's my hand go and wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"Do whatever is good for you baek but don't burn yourself out. Your health is your wealth remember that" he kisses my cheek making feel even more relaxed then I have in days.

"Suho I'm gonna move out back to the CBX apartment, I can't stay at the dorm any longer, plus I will be heading off soon with SuperM and I also need some sort of sleep" he shakes his head not liking my idea.

"I don't like that idea, I rather everyone together but after everything you are going through tight now I can't stop you. All I can do is be the shoulder you need and I will be here anytime you need me baek"  I turn and face him better giving him the biggest hug ever making him giggle.

"I love you Suho and I am sorry for everything but I do think its best for me right now" he let's me go and wipes his tears making me sad that he is upset now.

"Oh no I didn't mean to upset you also" I try comfort him as he smiles. "It's ok I will be fine, I'm just worried for you thats all like a good leader would be" he reaches for his drink drinking more as I feel sorry for adding more pressure on him.

"You are the best leader even our fans call you that. I'm honoured to have you as a leader and I need to ask can you help me leave?" he wipes his tears and nods his head.

"We have to be at the dance studio in three hours so how about if you want we can head back now and get your stuff and move it before we have to be there" he looks at his watch then starts to clean up the mess.

"Thank you for all of this it's just what I needed" I move and help him as we throw away the rubbish and head back to our cars.

"You gonna follow me back to the dorm?" he says while opening his car door.

"I'll be right behind you momma bear" I wink at him as I climb into my car and start to follow him seeing him smiling in his rear view mirror.

***

"I think that's all you wanted to bring now" Suho rubs his hands together after putting down the last bag in the apartment I will now be staying.

"Yep that's it, thank you for this" I move closer to him hugging him as he hugs me tighter kissing me on the head. "We need to get to the dance studio in a half hour so you want to come with me or make your own way?"

"I will make my own way. I wanna change real quick and grab my bag and I will meet you there" he just nods at me and leaves the apartment closing the door  behind him.

Looking around at the sitting room I can't believe I am here away from everyone but it's what I need right now to get my mind ready for my solo and SuperM.

Jumping into the shower I wash myself quickly and get dressed before leaving to head to the dance studio again where everything seems to happen these days.

"OK so Baekhyun is missing" I hear the choreographer say just as I step in the door dropping my bag.

"No I'm here, sorry for being late" I look at the others as Sehun is waving at me like an excited child as the others smile at me while Chanyeol keeps his eyes front not looking.

"Ok Baekhyun and Kai after you both get back from America we will be full on into getting this concert ready. While you are both away the others and I will keep practicing. I know its full on with the both of you but I need you both to rest as