Lust For Life

Beauty Behind The Madness
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'Cause we're the masters of our own fate. We're the captains of our own souls. So there's no need for us to hesitate. We're all alone, let's take control...'

~

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to pack any of the clothes you bought?” Daehyun asked Youngjae for the third time. “Yes. I don’t want them. I want to go home as soon as possible.” Youngjae said, sliding into the car first. Daehyun nodded to himself. He took a deep breath before entering the car.

It was early morning, and they were heading off to the northern province. The last few day went by faster than Daehyun expected. Youngjae had been in high spirits after Daehyun told him that he’d be taking him back to his pack. He had felt bad for taking the omega way from his pack without letting hims ay goodbye and felt that it was only right to take the omega back with him to the Silver Moon pack and allow him to choose if he wanted to stay home or return with him. Though he had already known the answer.

Daehyun was happy for him though, he enjoyed seeing this new side of him. He just wished that the moment could’ve lasted longer.

 

The care ride was silent. A mixture of emotions filled the air. But Youngjae seemed to not have paid any attention to it. Daehyun glanced at the younger. He was staring out the window a gentle smile glued to his lips. He was completely at peace. This brought a smile to Daehyun’s face as his eyes returned to the road. This was the first time he saw the younger at total peace. Completely himself, knot fighting or holding anything back.

Daehyun straightened up. He fought back his disappointment. This is what he wanted. For his mate to be free, even if that meant from him too.

 

 

“Youngjae!” Kihyun ran to his brother as soon as they arrived at the village. One of the alpha’s on patrol found them and immediately informed the had omega and Ms. Chae of their arrival. Kihyun jumped on his brother, nearly tumbling them into the ground. “Oh Youngjae! I’m so glad you’re back. I was so worried.” Kihyun hugged him tightly. “I was sure you were gone. Don’t do that to me again.” He buried his face into the elder’s neck. “I thought I lost you too.” He whispered desperately.

Youngjae’s eyes stung at his brother’s words. “I’m sorry.” He hugged the younger back. “I’ve been a terrible brother.” He whispered.

Kihyun pulled away from him, revealing his own tear-filled eyes. “No. You’ve been the best brother anyone could ask for. You’ve also been a great leader. You took on the hardest role and had to make the hardest decisions.” He gave him a small smile. “Just don’t do it again. Then you’ll be the worst.” He joked, lightly punching his brother.

Daehyun smiled at the small reunion of the brothers. It was obvious in their eyes that they loved each other very much. It was touching and made him miss his own siblings.

The rest of the pack came out and surrounded the two omegas, greeting their previous leader, and were relieved that he was okay. “Youngjae.” Jinyoung breathed I relief, hugging his best friend. “You scared me.” He said, breaking the hug. “I know.” Youngjae rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry.”

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow, he sensed that something was different about his friend, and it wasn’t just his scent. “But I don’t regret it.” Youngjae told him. Jinyoung smiled at this, “Of course you don’t.”

Youngjae smiled when Jaebum walked up to him. The two immediately hugged each other, not saying a single word. Daehyun frowned at the prolonged hug but didn’t say anything. “I have nothing to say to you.” Jaebum pulled away, his arms still wrapped around the younger. “because I know you won’t listen.”

Youngjae smiled at his words, “Then you should just listen to me.” He teased. “Yeah right.” Jaebum scoffed. “But…I’m sorry.” Youngjae sincerely apologized. “I know.” Jaebum gave him a small smile.

Kihyun turned to Daehyun, while Youngjae interacted with all his pack members. “You must be Daehyun.” He said. “You’re the one who contacted us.” Daehyun bowed to the Silver Moon leader. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Kihyun bowed his head, returning the greeting. “We should go to my cabin to discuss everything. I made some snacks for you guys to eat. You’re probably hungry and tired.” He smiled, already leading the way. Youngjae walked next to his brother, followed by Jaebum, Jinyoung and Daehyun.

 

“You guys are here!” Changkyun popped out from the kitchen when they entered the cabin. Youngjae furrowed his brow, surprised to find the alpha in his home. He raised an eyebrow, looking to his brother. Kihyun’s eyes widened, knowing exactly what the elder was thinking. “It’s not like that!” he suddenly burst. Changkyun’s face turned red, assessing the situation.

Youngjae only laughed at the 2 red-faced members, not saying a word to them. “We can sit in the living room.” Kihyun muttered now embarrassed.

The 6 members sat around the living room. Changkyun brought in the snacks he helped Kihyun make earlier. Daehyun looked around the room, admiring the home that his mate grew up in. It was bigger than all the other the cabins in the village, like most homes were for the head pack family. But it was cozy and welcoming, reflecting the personality of the late Silver Moon leader.

“In you letter you said that you wanted to end our feud.” Kihyun began, moving past his previous embarrassment. Daehyun nodded, “Things have gone too far, and should have never reached this point. This battle was never ours to begin with and it’s not our to continue.” He explained. “My pack has already taken steps towards peace between our packs.” He couldn’t hold back the smile on his lips. Youngjae looked to the elder before nodding, confirming that his words were true. At that moment, he was grateful for the alpha. He made his job easier, he no longer had to fear for the safety of his pack.

“Did the chief agree to this?” Jaebum asked, his tone serious.

Daehyun paused for a moment. He hadn’t spoken to his parents since that day.

Jaebum instantly caught onto this. “How can you guarantee that your pack won’t break this promise if the chief hasn’t agreed to this.” He questioned with a frown.

Daehyun’s shoulders dropped. The Silver Moon alpha was right. He didn’t want to make the same mistake again. He wanted to protect Youngjae and his family. He didn’t want anything else to happen to them. But his parents were still angry. He didn’t know what they were going to do next.

Youngjae noticed this. “They won’t attack.” He spoke up.

Daehyun looked at him a bit surprise.

Youngjae looked to Jaebum and gave him a proud smile. He was glad the elder was there to watch out for the pack’s safety. He couldn’t have asked for anyone better to help Kihyun run the pack. “I’ve watched the pack every day. They’re determined to end this feud. And the chief won’t be able to fight against that.” He confirmed confidently.

Jaebum nodded, trusting in the omega’s words.

Daehyun smiled. His confidence strengthening.

“I guess that settles it then.” Kihyun straightened up.

“We have no more intentions on fighting your pack.” Kihyun continued. “As my brother instructed in his last orders as chief of Silver Moon, we will not engage in any more fights or acts of revenge toward the Midnight Shadow pack.” Kihyun glanced to his brother who nodded in approval. “And as part of our agreement, I did as you asked.” The omega turned back to Daehyun. He pulled out two identical sheets of paper with paragraphs already typed on them.

Youngjae furrowed his brow. “What is this?”

“Daehyun asked me to create an official document of our agreement, so it can’t be broken.” Kihyun explained. “One for each pack.”

Youngjae raised a curious eyebrow. “Is this really necessary?” “Yes.” Daehyun nodded firmly. Youngjae looked at the alpha, confused by his sudden conviction, but decided against asking.

“I signed both copies Jaebum and Ms. Chae also signed as witnesses. You and Youngjae need to sign it as well.” Kihyun slid the papers and pens to the older wolves. “Me?” Youngjae questioned.

“You’re still a leader to this pack, no matter what you say or do, we still depend on you.” Kihyun told him, “This agreement isn’t complete without your seal of approval.” He smiled. Youngjae only nodded, he had no reason to argue.

He and Daehyun signed both papers. Jinyoung and Changkyun then signed as their witnesses.

“I’ll bring these for my parents to sign. And have my cousin and aunts sign as witnesses.” Daehyun collected the two documents. “Then I’ll return your copy to you.” Kihyun nodded. Youngjae still felt that the documents were much, but he was for anything that’ll secure the safety of his pack.

Once everything was set and done, Youngjae asked for everyone to leave the cabin, so he could speak with Kihyun alone.

 

Daehyun stood on the front porch and watched the Silver Moon pack members go about their daily routine. It was a warming sight to see. The pack members all looked peaceful and friendly. Some of them spared him quick glances, sending him short innocent waves. Daehyun wondered if he should get close to the Silver moon members, just as Youngjae did with Midnight Shadow. He was actually excited by the idea. However, his excitement was extinguished by reality.

He wouldn’t get much time to get close to them. He probably won’t even be able to visit. But his mind insisted on letting him fancy the impossible idea of perhaps staying here with the omega.

At that moment, Jaebum walked up next to him. “So, you’re Youngjae’s mysterious mate.” Jaebum commented, though it wasn’t a surprise, especially since Jinyoung and Youngjae told him what happened. Even then, he wasn’t surprised. “And you’re Youngjae’s boyfriend.” Daehyun responded.

Jaebum paused, not expecting the response. “Ah~, he told you?”

Daehyun nodded, “I guess you guys are exes now.” He emphasized. Jaebum raised an eyebrow, catching onto the younger’s jealousy. “Are we?” He questioned, deciding to .

Daehyun looked at him, “What?”

“We never broke up.” Jaebum explained.

Daehyun paused for a bit, “So? It doesn’t have to be said. We’re mates now. So that cancels out your relationship. It’s a given.” He tried.

“Mmm~, I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No. Does he still refer to me as his boyfriend?” Jaebum challenged.

Daehyun was about to argue back but paused in realization. Jaebum bursted into laughter, seeing how flustered the Shadow alpha was. “I’m just messing with you.” He laughed. Daehyun only huffed, looking back amongst the village. “But Youngjae is different.” Jaebum told him. “He’s not like any other person you’ve met, or you’ll ever meet.”

“I know that.” Daehyun said, feeling a bit annoyed by the alpha. He didn’t need him to tell him what he already knew. He was already secretly upset by the possibility that the elder knew more about Youngjae than him.

“I know you know, but I want to make sure of one thing.” Jaebum said.

“He will do whatever he wants, despite what everyone says or feels. Especially if he feels like it’ll protect his friends and family. He’ll put you in uncomfortable situations unapologetically, but he’ll come back and thank you, because it always somehow works out. He’ll make you worry and tell you not to. He’ll make you helpless. He’ll disappear and come back, and it always works out. He always comes out fine.” He continued. He shook his head, amazed at it all.

Daehyun reflected on his words, “That’s because he was with me. “He said in thought.

“And what if he wasn’t with you?”

Daehyun looked at him.

“Youngjae is good at reading people. He’s smart. He won’t put himself around people he feels are dangerous to him.” Jaebum continued. “But people can always make mistakes.” He finally said.

Daehyun now understood where he was getting at.

“You can’t let him do that anymore. You can’t force him. You won’t be able to force him to do anything. You have to make him feel like he doesn’t have to do everything on his own. You have to make him feel like he’s not alone.” Jaebum stressed. He then looked at Daehyun with firm eyes. “Because if anything happens to him. I’m holding you accountable.”

Daehyun scoffed at the underlying threat. It made him somewhat angry. He can take care of Youngjae on his own. He was going to give him his all. He didn’t need to hear that from the omega’s so called ‘ex-boyfriend’. “I’m the one who should be telling you that.” He subconsciously sighed instead.

Jaebum was confused by his statement. But before he could respond, his phone vibrated. When he checked it, a smile grew on his lips. “Anyway. I have to go. But my threat still stands.” With that he walked away and called back the human that texted him.

Daehyun let out a sigh. He checked the time on his phone and saw that it was already mid-afternoon. It was going to get dark soon. He’d have to leave before it got late. His parents didn’t know he was gone. They’d begin to worry once they realized he was gone, and he didn’t know what they’d do after that.

He glanced back at the cabin window to see that everyone already returned inside. He spotted Youngjae laughing and talking with his brother and friends. His arms were wrapped around his brother as if he didn’t want to let him go. He was completely at ease. He was finally able to relax. Daehyun let out a small smile. There was no point in saying goodbye. It’d ruin the moment. He’d just text him later. Daehyun shared one last glance at the smiling omega before walking away.

He smiled and waved to the village members that he passed until he was out the village. The people were extremely friendly and welcoming, it was hard to imagine that their packs had been at war all these years.

Daehyun’s demeanor dropped when he reached the edge of the city. He slowed his steps as he walked along the sidewalk toward the parking lot he parked at. He didn’t want to leave. It felt as if this was the last time, they’d spent time together. There was no more reason for him to come back. Youngjae wanted nothing more than to be with his family and protect them. He never wanted a relationship to begin with.

Daehyun had planned on always being by the omega’s side. But, after reflecting, he felt guilty. He couldn’t force him to be with him. That was his first mistake. It was something that Youngjae had to choose for himself, and not when he’s vulnerable. That was his second mistake.

Maybe one day. Daehyun forced himself to smile. There’s still that small possibility. Until then, he’ll do his part and protect his mate’s family with all he can from a distance. At least the omega is happy now.

His eyes stung at the thought of not being able to see the younger like he used to. He hated himself for being upset about it. What was most important was that the omega was happy and that he could finally live on. That’s all that matters. So why is he upset?

“Yah! What are you doing?!” He was suddenly hit in the back of his head. “You were just going to leave me?”

Daehyun looked to see a grinning Youngjae. He blinked in disbelief. “Youngjae? What are you doing here?”

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Comments

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daemchuu
#1
Chapter 32: youngjae is a very interesting character. he's not the typical protagonist, he's flawed but that's what makes him interesting. he's so closed off and always tries to hide his emotions and some of his actions made me frown but they're kind of justified once we learned what he'd had to go through as a child. i wish he hadn't killed jessica tho, she was pretty nice to him. but jaejoong killing leeteuk was uncalled for either. im glad they finally realized that avenging their loved ones by killing one another would benefit nobody.
daehyun's definitely the hero in this story. he managed to see through youngjae's walls and see that he needed help. he was so persistent and didn't give up on youngjae even when he himself was hurt from losing his loved ones and the thought of youngjae not caring about him. im glad it paid off in the end and they managed to find happiness after everything they had been through. i also love how youngjae didn't magically transform into a happy go lucky person. to me it shows that his wounds are too deep for them to completely heal in such a short amount of time. it took a lot of sacrifice from daehyun's part to get him to warm up to daehyun after all. but im sure he'll only get better now that he has daehyun and their kid by his side! all the conflicts have been resolved and there will be no more killings (hopefully) so they can all live in peace now
that was such a beautiful story. the daejae fandom certainly doesn't have enough good wolf aus so thank you so much for writing this!
MrFelopoh
#2
Chapter 32: OH MY GOD YAAAAS! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! This has been everything I wanted for this fanfic. Once again I appretiate your dedication and hard work. I love this ending better! I feel like I finally can died in peace heheh. I feel happy for Chankyun and Kihyun, and their happy ending. After everything they've been through this is a much needed finale! I think I mentioned before that I loved each interaction 2jae had during this fic. All over again, you were able to make me smile while reading about them. I am happy to see that they are closer and more comfortable with each other, even though I would have liked to read about youngjae's surprise to see JB turning into a werewolf, I am still happy with their evolution! that's enough for me :) Last, but not least, Daejae <3 I said this before but I am so glad that they were able to reach their happy ending. Their beautiful and small family is everything this story needed to ended perfectly! Once again, Thank you dear, for your great efforts, and to give us this exciting, funny, and refreshing ending! <3
damchuu
#3
Chapter 32: Omg o(≧v≦)o u update, Author-nim thank you so much ^ω^ I miss DaeJae so much *\(^o^)/*
Daejae_shipper #4
Chapter 32: Yay you updated
MrFelopoh
#5
Chapter 31: Hi! I'm new to this story, and now that I've read it 'till the end I'd like to say some things. WHAT A GREAT STORY! In the past, I remeber reading WOLF AU stories, but they never fully entertained me. However, I've found my self desperately reading this! it was so interesting and amazing the way you portrait the rivalry among the Silver Moon and the Midnight Shadow pack. If I am to be honest, I cried. I cried a lot while reading this. YOU GOT ME LIKE UGLY CRYING...(my sister had to bring me water and tissues because of it) Each death was harder to take as the story developed towards the end, adding suspense to every moment. If I think about it carefully, the moments that got me really hard was Minhyuk and Bang's deaths. I guess at some point I thought we were going to stop reading about friends dying, but I was so carried away by every other detail that I couldn't believe it at first. After Zelo's mom died, and Yongguk taking care of him, I felt at ease, BUT THEN YOU DECIDED IT WAS OKAY TO KILL HIM (sorry for the outburst, but it still hurts) Jessica's death was unexpected and unnecessary (in my humble opinion) I could somehow feel Tiffany's pain the whole scene and it only made my heart ache even more. Sometimes, I didn't know which clan was better. I tried to be objective and avoid picking sides, but Youngjae's decisions made it hard for me to be on his side. I felt terribly sadden by his story though. I think I might get what he was feeling from time to time, and I think you were able to describe well the duality he was facing. His mother, the weight of the clan, his responsabilities, his inner desires, everything was undeniably heartbreaking from his point of you, and if you wanted to showcase something like mentalhealth, you should know that you did an excellent work. I think the parts I enjoyed the most were those when youngjae fought with his mom's voice in his head. The lines in-between youngjae's scream made it so sureal AND real (at the same time) that from time to time it scared the hell outta me. WELL DONE! One of the other aspects I was delighted with was the inclusion of so many characters! I like fanfics that mixed many other kpop groups because it provides more variety to the story and the reader. For example, Girls' Generation and BAP are my ultimate everything!! and reading this made me so happy. I just wish, their story wasn't so sad, and they would enjoyed more than they'd suffered. BUT in general, I loved their exchanges. The story had moments where I found myself smiling, crying, and laughing. For instance, Jaebum and Choi Youngjae. I think their interactions and moments were the ones that had me laughing some times. I like a sassy and real Youngjae to say the least. I also found JB and Coco's interactions really hilarious, and made forget about all the headaches and amount of stress the story was giving me. I just wish we had more information about their ending. Please, don't get me wrong, I love this ending! I think both, Youngjae and Daehyun, deserved this much needed end, whereas there are some details I just wish we would have more details about. Kihyun and Changkyun for example. But...ANYWAY! I love it entirely! Thank you so much for sharing your story with us! <3 take good care!
Karly155 #6
PS I am a new fan of your work!
After reading The Third Snow Prince, I was excited to read all your stories!
Karly155 #7
I stayed up all night readying this!
It was an emotional roller coaster but it was worth it! There was a lot of sadness in this story, but that reminds me of life. In the end, I was happy the characters found their own way. Thank you for sharing your story here!
Bts___mochi__ #8
Are you going to make another daejae fic?
damchuu
#9
Chapter 31: Omg !!!! This ending is so beautiful, daejae together n all 030 thz q so kmuch
gwenimnida
#10
Chapter 31: Ndhsjsjwksjdbdybeiajsudn cant wait for another story. Thank youuu