Murder of the Summer by RaspberriCloud & nayeon--

Title (3/5)

The title tells a lot about the story. By simply reading the title, the readers can tell that it's a horror story with murders during a summer. However, it connects with the plot of the story and it kind of rhymes! If I were to come across this type of horror story, I would definitely click on it.

Appearance (3/5)

I love the background! It's simple, and doesn't distract the readers from the story. However, I don't quite see how the flower relates to the story.

Description/Foreword (7/15)

The description is a bit confusing and dull. You could've reworded it to make it sound more interesting and more clear. Plus, there are a couple of grammar errors and there are a lot of unnecessary information. You could've reworded your description to make it more suspenseful and creepy.

I understand that there are a lot of OCs in your story and that it would be hard for the readers to remember who is who, but it would be better to show the readers instead of telling them in your foreword. In addition, your forward doesn't have a lot of "flavors." Basically, it's not very interesting. If I were to come across this story and saw the description and foreword, I wouldn't be interested in the story.

Plot (18/25)

In the beginning the plot, it seemed pretty cliché. I can probably find a lot of horror fanfics on AFF where there's a group of girls and guys living under the same roof, encountering a ton of scary moments. However, I can see where your originality comes in. For an example, I started to find the story interesting after I read the part where few of the characters play around with the fire.

Characters (6/15)

The characters seem…cliché. If your plot wasn't interesting, then the whole story would've bored me. The type of characteristics you have to your character can be found almost anywhere. They aren't very interesting.

Writing (Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation) (12/20)

Give your writing a consistent look. For an example, let me take Chapter 1. A part of your story doesn't have index, and I would expect your story to keep up with the block-style. However, as I scrawled down, I see some parts of the writings with indexes. In addition, you should explain your scenes a bit more. Let me take Chapter 1 once again. There is a part where you added a ton of spaces and wrote, "Silence." Instead, you could've wrote, "Silence enveloped their conversation. For minutes, no one dared to say a word. Finally, Eunhyuk decided to speak up."

You see how much better it sounds and looks in your writing rather than a bunch of spaces and a simple, "Silence?"

As you mentioned in your request form, you do have a lot of spelling and grammar error. I don't k