{review} Calling turnbaek

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The Doll With Ramen Hair by turnbaek

Title (5/5)

Cute, unique, eye-catching, funny. Perfect!

 

Appearance (4/5)

Poster and background are cute, but does not really match with the mood of the story.

 

Description/Foreword (10/15)

Your description is a bit messy, but that one sentence, (“what if one day you bought a cursed doll?”), gives off suspense and does make me want to read more! But, the banner belongs at the bottom of the foreword, since it is like a forum header.

Foreword – beautiful. You have the character cast and a short sneak peek! Everything’s there!

 

Plot (25/25)

Plot was unique, I can tell that the storyline is completely owned by you!

 

Characters (8/15)

The characters are slightly cliché, but I can tell that you tried to give some originality and some specialness to each character.

 

Writing (Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation) (13/20)

Chapter 1

 

Incorrect: “Careless , careless , shoot anonymous , anonymous , heartless , mindless , no one care about me,” you hummed  along to your favourite song that was sung by your favourite band.

Correct: “Careless, careless. Shoot anonymous, anonymous. Heartless, mindless. No one care about me,” you hummed along to your favorite song that was sung by your favorite band.

Note: Please don’t put any spaces between each punctuation

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Author's Thoughts
wintersoldier
6/12/12: 63 subscribers, THANK YOU. ^^
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500sunny500 #1
@reeseee3: Sorry! We're closed! >.< However, we made a new request shop right here:
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/231323
The forms are the same, so you can just copy and paste! :D
500sunny500 #2
@scarlettwolf: I think I understand what you mean. However, in our current generation, we use single spaces instead of double spaces. Double spaces were used a long time ago because it was harder to tell if the punctuations were single spaced. Nowadays, we can easily tell the spaces because each key on your keyboard uses up to same. I'm not sure if I got your point, but here's the link where I got all this information: http://desktoppub.about.com/cs/typespacing/a/onetwospaces.htm
scarlettwolf #3
It appears to be AFF... =/ (at least in the comments)
Well anyways, as long as you know about it(like how to double space), I'm fine with it.
scarlettwolf #4
hmm...
Well, I think it's AFF. It looks like there is only one space when there are really two...
It's in every chapter I think too. But it seems it's AFF...
Hi. I'm scarlettwolf
Hi. I'm scarlettwolf
500sunny500 #5
@scarlettwolf: We're not exactly sure what you're talking about. ^^;; Would you please mind pointing out the chapter we made our mistake on?
scarlettwolf #6
AYO! ^^
Not really gonna say too much, and I have no idea if this is just AFF being weird, but after a period, exclamation mark, etc. you need to have double spacing. Like right there.
Maybe it's just AFF formatting, I couldn't really tell... ._.
ShanghaiTiger #7
I'll credit you tomorrow, okay?
ShanghaiTiger #8
thanks :)
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