A CLASH BETWEEN TWO DIFFERENT KINGKAS : TRUE STORY by b2stlyoseob125

Title (0/5)

First of all, your title shouldn't be all capitalized, and that colon shouldn't be there. It should be "A Clash Between Two Different Kingkas (A True Story)". Plus, your title is a bit wordy and long. You should try to come up with a shorter and less wordy title for your fanfic. If I was ever to come across this fanfic, I wouldn't click on it.

Appearance (5/5)

I really like your appearance! It really reflects the mood it's going to give off.

Description/Foreword (5/15)

If your description is going to be a foreword, you put it in the foreword section. Your description also has many run-on sentences, too, so it made it harder for me to read it. In addition to description section, it's quite long. Maybe you can take out most of the questions and leave two or one question(s) in your description. Plus, your foreword doesn't tell me anything about what your story is going to be. It only tells me the title and your author's notes. 

If you want my suggestion, you can do this: Delete the bold, capitalized "FOREWORD" in your description section, fix any run-ons in your description section, delete the author's notes in your foreword, and replace the foreword section with the character chart you have in chapter 1.

Plot (10/25)

To be honest, it's a confusing and cliché plot. I don't know if it was just because of me reading bits of chapters each day, but I had a hard time understanding what was going on.

Characters (5/15)

The characters are the same as any other "you" fanfic. The only person who seems more different is probably Ji Eun.

Writing (Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation) (6/20)

You had a few spelling errors, but you had tons of run-on sentences. The more run-on sentences you have, the harder it is for your readers to read. In addition to grammatical errors, you switched from past tense or present tense in your writings. Majority of your verbs are past tense, so keep writing in past tense instead or present tense. You also had punctuation errors that was related to your run-on sentences and whenever your character spoke.

Chapter 1:

Incorrect:

“You little girl, what do you know about me? Forget it, let’s go, I lose my appetite.” I said and grab Yuri’s hands.

“But, Unnie, Our mom says to eat what she cooks for us before we leave!” Yuri removes her hands on mine and continues eating her food.

“Aishh! Arasso, But after this will leave now, Okay?” I said and sit at my chair.

After finishing my food, I open the fridge and get a bottle of wa