ϞϞϞϞϞ

When Namjoo alighted from the train she immediately drowned into the crowd combusting around her. Struggling to push herself through the onslaught of bodies. Dodging heavy bags, poked by a purse, and nearly stabbed by an umbrella. in a breath when she finally left the hundreds of heads behind her.

Appalled by the huge advertisements on the walls Namjoo mulled over them. Shots of the lakeside. Beautiful models advertising makeup. One look around her and she saw occupied busybodies. Trendily dressed. Earbuds in. On their phones. Cooped up in their tiny bubbles.

No one neverminded her. If someone in town had seen her, they’d come up to ask her what she was doing and what she was looking for. Feeling out of place Namjoo walked over to a wall bench and sat down. Searching for her phone.

It was dead.

“Oh no…” she murmured to herself tapping the screen. Desperately trying to power it on. The screen remained black.

Lifting her head showed a suddenly empty platform. The gazillions of people from before had disappeared. Unease traveled through her veins. What was she going to do? Realizing suddenly, she didn’t even have Sehun’s number or his address.

Reality dawned on her. Her head turned upon footsteps. A shabby man with a ripped jacket and dark beanie glanced at her as he walked past. Smelling of sweat and urine. Namjoo eased toward the end of the bench. Shrinking herself.

Tapping her screen desperately again.

“Do you need help?” Namjoo’s head shot up surprised. The tall man in front of her leaned back apologetically. “Did I shock you? Sorry.”

Blinking, Namjoo observed him. He had a crew cut. Looked in his mid-twenties, and like a model in one of those magazines at the salon advertising his hair. A handsome city boy with higher than average good looks. He was pretty slim, too. Kind of like Sehun.

“Uh…no…” Namjoo quietly murmured.

Noticing the phone in her hand he offered, “Your phone died?”

“Y…yes,” Namjoo replied. “I forgot my charger.”

He smiled bringing out the glimmer in his almond shaped eyes. “I can show you where. Want to come with me?”

Her lips pried open. Glancing around at her unfamiliar surroundings. Seemed only the homeless were hanging around now. Lying on the ground. Covered in newspapers. Slumped over on the benches. All of them men.

The city boy sounded like her best option.

Looking at him, Namjoo stood. “Ok.”

ϞϞϞϞϞ

The rush of traffic was more noticeable than anything. Flurrying by with gusts of wind. Whipping her hair over her face. Following the city boy up the stairs outside. The night air was indeed different than home.

Smooth. Crisp.

“Whoa!” Namjoo exclaimed soaking in all the pretty lights shining from towering buildings, businesses along the blocks. The headlights zipping past like lightning bugs racing.

“Is it that amazing?” the city boy wondered with a broad smile.

“It is,” Namjoo said then followed him down the road. Passing a group of young ladies who smelled like fruits and flowers. Namjoo stared after them stricken. So pretty in tight jeans and dresses.

“So, where are you from?” he asked.

“Gimje.”

“Oh? So far away.” he noted. “What are you doing all the way here?”

Pausing by the corner he held his arm out to flag a cab. The fashion store beside them lit up magnificently. Showcasing the mannequins in the glass fashionably dressed in a short skirt, jean jacket, and crop top. A pair of hot red heels were on display on a round glass table in the corner.

“I came to see a friend,” Namjoo said.

A yellow car drove up to the curb and he opened the door. “Who’s your friend?”

“You might not know him.”

“I know a lot of people.” He grinned gesturing for her to get in first.

Namjoo gave it a moment’s thought then decided why not. This nice guy was helping her. “His name’s Sehun. Oh Sehun.”

Sliding into the seat beside her he closed the door. Leaned over to talk quietly with the driver before relaxing. “Ah…Sehun? I know him.”

Her eyes rounded. “Really?”

Nodding, “Tall guy, right? And he has a unique face.”

Giving it another thought, Namjoo agreed. “Yes. That’s him.”

“I’ll take you to him.” he grinned.

Cheering up, Namjoo said, “Really?”

“Of course. Just sit tight.”

Excited, Namjoo clutched onto her backpack. Biting her lower lip, she stared out the window. Absorbing the pretty yellow lights against the dark sky. Tall business buildings standing like shadows among the beautiful city constantly blowing up with activity. Her eyes jumping over all the people gathered at the street lights waiting to cross. Many others walking along the sidewalk chattering contentedly. Namjoo glanced at the passengers in the cars driving past curiously.

The city really was bumbling with so much to do. Just as Sehun said. Every second of it was amazing.

They looped around the city. Passing quieter districts and homes clumped together. Through the closed shops downtown. Across narrow alleyways then the noise picked up again. Louder this time that she felt everything from inside the car. People were more fashionably dressed this time. In shorter skirts, higher tops. Then men sharply dressed up in suits, pants, expensive button-downs. Stretching above her the sign of the building read in big bold letters PARADISE.

Music boomed when the city boy opened the door. Namjoo hesitated to get out. All of a sudden, uncertain. This didn’t look like a quiet place where she could charge her phone. The few people standing outside the club watched curiously. She smelled cigarettes and wanted to cover her nose.

Leaning in, the city boy said, “What are you doing?”

Namjoo’s eyes wavered between the outside and him. “Are you sure he’s here?”

Grinning confidently, “He’s here. Now come out.”

Namjoo looked at the impatient cab driver. Pressured, she slid toward the open door clutching onto her backpack. Could feel the women’s eyes tracing her jeans, tee, and the plaid flannel she was wearing over it. Their smiles turned coy although not laughing aloud but Namjoo felt that was what they were doing.

Slipping her backpack on, Namjoo listened to him tell the security at the front doors, “She’s a friend.” Then they were in.

Everything was louder in here. The bass, the drums, the stereos, the voices. Eyes widened as she stared at the large dance floor where a pack of people were flinging themselves around. Grooving against each other drunkenly. Screaming, jumping around. Then there were dark glassy tables filled to the brim with snacks, beer, and tall glasses of liquor.

She bumped into strange men grouped together. Apologizing when they shot her annoyed stares. Faces seemed to grow larger and smaller around her. The tempo pounding along to the beat of her anxious heart. Cologne, perfume, sweat swarmed around her uninvitingly.

“I…I should go.” Namjoo called out.

“Not yet.” The city boy turned around to link an arm around her shoulders. Dragging her along, “If you want to see Sehun, you’re going to have to wait just a bit.”

ϞϞϞϞϞ

This was the first time his heart had pumped so hard. Speeding down the highway back to the city. Literally driving 30 miles over the limit. Unafraid, because at this time of night the roads were abandoned. Zipping through the lanes, wondering where the hell it was Namjoo would go to look for him.

She would have ridden the train her father told him. There, he would look there first. Someone had to have seen her.

One in the morning he reached the ghostly terminal. Barren of anyone. Rushing down the stairs he twisted and turned. Catching sight of only the homeless sprawled throughout the platform. Running back upstairs toward the closed shops in search of a night security guard. Someone who might help him.

Spotting the service desk, he leaned over it. Spotting useless stacks of papers, a telephone, and a computer. Hearing voices he turned around. Hurrying toward the sound. Running back down the stairs to see an officer kicking a homeless person on the ground awake.

“You can’t sleep here! Get up!” he was yelling.

“Excuse me!” he called out.

The aged officer turned. A small stature of a man in uniform looked him up and down. “Yes?”

“I’m looking for someone.” Sehun told.

“Sir, do you know what time it is? The station is closed.”

Ignoring him, Sehun pulled out his phone. Flipping through his gallery to show a picture of Namjoo on one of her orange picking trips. “I’m looking for her.”

The officer leaned in to look at the picture. “My shift just started at midnight. There’s no way I would have seen her.” Shaking his head apologetically, “Sorry.”

He turned to walk away. Sehun followed, “Can’t I look at the security cameras? There are cameras around? Right?”

“Sir, you would need a warrant. I would suggest you go to the cops to file a missing person’s report.” Annoyed he continued walking off.

Adamant, Sehun chased him. Blocking him, he pulled out his wallet, showing him a wad of cash. “How about now?”

The officer stared at the bundle of cash then back up to his face.

ϞϞϞϞϞ

Two minutes later the officer was unlocking a side door marked Security Only. A tiny room with tiny screens. A computer and a chair. An unused headset had been left behind.

“There we go,” he said flicking on a screen. It filled up with a picture of the train tracks. Another screen lit up to life of the platform. Tapping some buttons to rewind the video Sehun watched thousands of commuters move in backwards motion at ten times the normal speed. Then the video slowed. The train rushed back and forth. Finally stopping and passengers alighted.

Recognizing Namjoo immediately through the grainy screen. He watched Namjoo disappear into the swarm of people. Felt his heart race. Despite the traffic of people, she had seemed more amused than anything. It was just like her. Then she sat on the bench for a good hour.

“Can you fast forward?” Sehun asked. The officer inclined. “Stop. Stop. Rewind a bit.”

His eyes twitched. The blood rushed to his head as he whirled around to go back to his car.

Pulling up to the club with car screeching several minutes later. Slamming the door on his way out. The burly security guard blocked his entry. Impatiently digging out his identification card he tucked it back into his wallet. Jamming it in his back pocket as he stampeded into the club. The DJ’s voice blasted into his ears as he searched around the crowded space. Shoving his way through. Eyes dim, dark, and set.

People cussed him out when he pushed past. His heart was pumping too fast to get irritated with the ones that didn’t matter. Nearing the shapely bar counter Sehun deeply inhaled. Picking out the only backpack in the room. The tiny person smashed between the group of men.

“Sehun!” someone popped up into his face. Smiling widely, “So, you’re here! Where’ve you been?!”

“Bug off,” he spat shoving him away. Taking a large stride toward the counter, where laughter was booming. Snatching the arm around Namjoo’s shoulders he broke up the group. Yoo Minjae’s younger brother turned surprised. Forcefully pushing him away he snapped, “Move.”

The younger man scoffed stumbling to the side, perplexed. “Sehun.”

Namjoo stared up at him wide eyed.

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” Minjae’s brother asked.

Sehun shot him a glare. Traced his eyes over the fellow friends at the table to the deck of cards on the countertop. Angry.

Grabbing Namjoo’s backpack he pulled her after him, “Come with me.”

Releasing her with a shove when they stepped outside. Yelling, “Are you crazy?!”

She had the audacity to blink at him, confused. “Why are you so angry?”

Turning to the side he let out a loud exhale. Groaned, frustrated, “Are you an idiot?!” Throwing his arm back, “Can’t you tell that they were only playing with you?!”

“I didn’t drink anything,” she said with a confused smile. “I know. I’ve heard stories, ok?”

“That is not the point! You don’t understand how men here think because you’ve been cooped up on a farm all your life! You idiot!” he shouted.

“Aren’t you being too mean?” Namjoo asked.

“What the hell are you doing here anyway?”

Pressing her lips together Namjoo lowered her eyes.

Walking away from her he ordered, “Get in the car.”

Without waiting for her he slid behind the wheel. Angry with her. Upset that she had let herself be dragged all the way to an adult club. All without a clue!

When she started pulling her seatbelt on, he sped off. Back to the empty terminal. Namjoo followed him to the ticket machine, which refused to work. Sehun frustratingly smacked the screen as she watched.

“Forget it,” she quietly said. “I’ll just wait here until they open.”

Irritated for even letting himself be angry he turned to walk away. Silence loomed. The soda machine hummed. The shop gates were pulled down and locked. An entire building abandoned for the night. Below the stairs the homeless prowled. All the lights were killed except for every fourth bulb. This building was eerie even if he weren’t alone.

Turning around he scolded, “You’re not coming?”

Perking up Namjoo picked up her feet to follow.

They ended up at a nearby inn. It only seemed plausible, because in a few hours she would be going home like he promised her father she would.

“A room for two,” Sehun said handing over his card.

Instead, the lady gave them a couple room. One bed when they arrived. He sighed at the idiocy of this. The beat white walls were unimpressionable. One tiny round table and a television set with a phone book was all the room consisted of. Not decorated to be enjoyed. A plain room for one night’s use.

“Just…go to sleep,” he mumbled massaging his forehead. Grabbing a pillow, he slumped down on the floor. Closing his eyes, he listened to her shuffle around the room. Waiting for the lights to be turned off.

Instead, “Sehun.”

Opening his eyes, he stared up at the ceiling.

“Don’t sleep on the floor.”

He turned but couldn’t quite put her in his point of view. Sitting up he saw she had put her backpack on the table. The blanket was rolled up, set as a divider on the bed.

“Sorry,” she said. “You don’t have to be uncomfortable because of me.”

She didn’t even look at him before laying down and turning her back to him. He stared at her back plundered by a morbid sense of guilt he didn’t quite understand, and he despised her for making him feel this way.

Withholding his groan, he got up to turn off the lights. Laid down on the floor again watching the lights outside streak in through the thin curtain. Splashing shadows across the walls. Succumbing, he got up to throw his pillow on the bed. Turning his back to her.

Opening his eyes after an hour damning himself. He was too conscious of her. Even with the stupid divider between them. Annoyed that Namjoo seemed unbothered. Sehun glanced over his shoulder to see that she was no longer on her side. Slowly shifting he saw her arm was angled up under the pillow. The blanket was covering part of her face blocking his view.

Touching the blanket lowering it he peered at her. Although her face was turned away from him, he could see clearly, she really was soundly asleep. Truly unbothered. It was just like her. To be unguarded, carefree in this moment.

This was the first time he ever shared a bed with someone. Just lying peacefully with her. This was his first time watching someone sleep.

ϞϞϞϞϞ

When he awoke Namjoo was gone. Quickly getting up he looked around to see her backpack still on the table. Climbing out of bed he looked into the empty bathroom. Hurrying out when the door opened and Namjoo walked in with a bottle of water. They looked at each other, he a little accusingly.

“What?” she asked. “Oh…I think the station should be open.”

He drove her back to the terminal and bought her a ticket back to Gimje. Walking her down to the train platform and sat down to wait with her. By the minute more commuters started filling up the space, so they moved up to wait for the train. Chatter erratically overwhelmed the silence occupying them, and then the train arrived with a gust of wind.

“Sorry for causing you trouble,” Namjoo turned to look up at him.

“Forget it.”

Clutching onto the ticket, Namjoo said, “It was good seeing you for a bit.”

The sound of rushing footsteps clambering up the steel staircases nearly drowned out the soft of her voice. The familiar ache of goodbye again swirled through him. Aware she had come to look for him yet not knowing how to place the words in this last moment. An announcement blared overhead. Five minutes left.

He had spent the last few hours angry with her. When he shouldn’t have. And now it was time to part again.

“I guess this is bye forever,” Namjoo smiled even though she looked sad.

He should say something.

He didn’t.

“Bye,” she said, “Sehun.”

“Yea…bye.”

Namjoo turned her back to him and walked toward the stairs. Pausing for a second but treaded on and disappeared into the cabin. He watched her find her seat on the opposite end and look out the window. Not once turning his way. Not even for a last glance. Sehun stared, kind of waiting for something to happen before the stairs disappeared and the train drove off, its wheels chugging loudly. Leaving him behind on the empty platform. Until the entire machine became smaller and smaller vanishing into the distance.

“Goddammit…” he muttered swerving around to run up the stairs to his car.

***oh? a picture in the phone?