The weight of the silence doubled. Growing longer over the passing seconds.

Stunned. Appearing more flustered, Hyunjae stammered, “Who?”

“I have a twin sister.” Raising her head up to look more carefully into his face, she continued, “She went missing when I was younger. We never found her.”

Something flashed across his face. Realization. Hyunjae’s eyes widened a fraction. Hurriedly blinking he turned away. Uncomfortable. Dismissing, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Hiding his expression from her eyes he swiveled away. Exiting the kitchen on urgent feet. She listened to his footsteps fade up the stairs feeling like she had lost some game she was playing.

ϞϞϞϞϞ

That night Namjoo tossed and turned. She didn’t feel tired. Her mind kept running. Not because she was dwelling over her first ever date. Hyunjae’s reaction bothered her.

Landing on her side she stared out the window. Sitting up the following moment. Turning over she impulsively got up, changed, and crept out of the house. Heading outside, across the bridge to the other side of the city, into the quiet neighborhood. Namjoo paid the driver and watched the tail lights disappear down the dark street. Touching her phone and waiting.

The front door creaked open. Deciding not to waste time she stepped toward Sehun wrapping her arms around him. Seeking comfort when she leaned into him. Pressed her face to his shoulder. Discovering solace in his presence and becoming at ease. She didn’t leave him any breath for words, but felt a hand on her back; the other touch her head.

It burst through her.

The truth that Hyunjae knew something he wasn’t willing to share. The tiny quest to find the truth was becoming a greater burden.

“Silly,” he said, “why are you here?”

“I just wanted to see you.”

“You couldn’t wait until morning?” She imagined him smiling. “I guess you missed me that much.”

Thoughts clashed in her head. What to say? Where to start from? What did she expect from him? Sympathy? Sehun didn’t even know his aunt or her family. There was nothing he could do for her.

He had never met Chunhei – Hyejoo.

“Do you want to come inside?” he asked when she said nothing. “My parents have an early day tomorrow, so they’ve gone to bed.”

Taking her hand, he led her inside. Sehun was telling the truth. His parents were no longer up. They had the house to themselves. The familiarity of his home made her homesick. The contrast between being here and at Aunt Youngja’s house was so stark.

“Do you want something to drink?” he asked leading her into the kitchen.

“Can I go sit outside?” Namjoo wondered.

“Oh…sure.” He seemed surprised.

Namjoo found her way to the back door. Dusty clouds were drifting past the moon casting a shadow over her. Sitting on the deck to admire the cherry blossom tree Namjoo took a whiff of the cool night air. Letting it chill out the weight in her lungs.

“Did you get in trouble?” Sehun sat down beside her, took her hands, and left her with a glass of water.

“I didn’t.”

“So I guess you really did just miss me,” he joked.

Namjoo cheered up with a slight smile. Letting him lighten the mood for a split second. “I found Hyejoo.”

It took a second for him to remember the name. “Your sister?”

“But I don’t think she’s alive anymore.” Namjoo looked at him. She didn’t expect to cry over a sister she didn’t really know anymore, but her eyes still grew hot with tears. “My dad would be so sad.”

“I’m sorry.”

Me, too she wanted to say but didn’t. Really, how could she? What Namjoo remembered were the remnants of her childhood with her twin. Little things before her parents split and her mother took Hyejoo to the city. Always expecting to reunite again some day in the future. Not with a ghost. Now there were only holes filled with questions and no answers. And she was stuck here cosplaying her twin.

It was ersely ironic.

A terrible kind of twist Namjoo never foresaw.

Now what?

Subconsciously her grip tightened on the glass of water as Sehun tucked her head against his shoulder.

ϞϞϞϞϞ

Hyunjae wouldn’t look at her in the morning at the breakfast table. Should she talk to him? Namjoo debated. Thinking up all the things she could say. Many of them things she could not voice in front of his parents. Firstly, afraid that Uncle Jaejin would glower at her. Bring her to his office and lecture her during the day. Secondly, what if Aunt Youngja threw a fit and she was held accountable again?

“I’m talking to you,” Uncle Jaejin raised his voice forcing Namjoo to look up from her plate startled.

“Don’t yell at her, honey,” Aunt Youngja cooed. Touching her hand, she warmly said, “Never mind your father, darling. Just eat up.”

Flustered, Namjoo stared down at the food she’d been absentmindedly mixing together.

“I’m done.” Grabbing his plate Hyunjae left the table.

“Already?” his mother looked after him. “Have you packed your lunch?”

“I’ll grab something at work,” he brushed her off. Left without even looking back.

Namjoo worried if she had made things worse for herself after questioning him yesterday. What if he withdrew and never spoke to her? She would never be able to find out anything regarding Hyejoo. Lowering her eyes to her plate Namjoo lost her appetite. Left with the parents she didn’t quite want to deal with.

After breakfast Uncle Jaejin slipped her a list of grocery. “You’ve so much time on your hands, you need to make yourself useful.”

Namjoo looked at the long list of foods, appalled. “But we have bread and eggs in the house.”

He clicked his tongue. “Don’t you know how fast food goes in this house? Especially with you here now.”

Drawing out his wallet he handed over a wad of cash. “Use the money wisely. If I find out you used it on other means I am grounding you. Now, get going. I expect you to be back before noon.”

Namjoo opened to argue then decided it best not to. Biting her lower lip, she slipped into her shoes and left the house. Arriving at the store which was bustling with energy. Stopping by the deli department and browsing the list Uncle Jaejin had drawn up.

“Hey cutie, can I get your number?” Namjoo turned when Sehun playfully bumped into her from behind. Peering over her shoulder as a smile slipped onto her confused face. “What is that?”

“A shopping list.” Namjoo replied.

Snatching it from her, Sehun read aloud, “A pound of evenly sliced ham, half a pound of pepper jack cheese, steamed broccoli, wheat bread, a pack of string cheese – has to be a bundle of 24, a gallon of milk, a carton of eggs, sirloin, ground coffee, chicken , radish, cilantro…” raising his brows, “is there no food at home or something?”

“There is.”

Flipping the sheet over Sehun blinked, “Did he get the list off the internet?”

Taking the list back, Namjoo said, “I’ll get in trouble if I don’t buy it all.”

“Why? Did he threaten you?”

“He’ll ground me.”

“In this time and age?” he sounded disbelieving.

“You should take him seriously,” Namjoo said.

Hooking an arm around her neck he said, “I thought you called me out because you wanted to play.”

“I just did…because…” Namjoo looked away from his prying eyes.

Grinning happily, he promised, “Then lets shop quickly and have a quick date.”

“I have to be home by noon.”

“He’s so prickly,” he muttered. Nodding his head into hers he said, “I’ll get you home by noon.”

Sehun helped push the cart as they went around the store. Crossing off one item at a time from the shopping list. Spending a good hour and a half before joining the checkout line. Gushing when Sehun carried majority of the heavy bags to his car. It was the one of the first times she felt his manly charm, thinking he could be reliable. He could really be so admirable if he put forth the effort into becoming more sensible about his surroundings, about himself.

“What?” Sehun asked once they were on the road. “You can stop staring. It makes it hard for me to concentrate.”

“You’re so stuck-up.”

“And you get on my nerves a lot, but then I like you,” he smugly grinned. Namjoo scoffed. “What? You like hearing that don’t you?”

“Stop it, you’re so cheesy.”

He breathed a laugh. “Then don’t look at me ever.”

Namjoo teasingly stared at him. Making him laugh harder. Reaching over he pressed his fingers into her face forcing her to turn away. Bouncing back playfully to stare and causing him to laugh again.

They sat outside a convenience store sharing a bag of chips they had debated on and a bottle of water. Watching traffic blow past and deciding where to go for their next date. Sehun kindly let her finish the rest of the chips before he drove her back.

“Are they giving you any trouble?” Sehun wondered handing her the grocery bags from his trunk.

“As of lately, no.”

“Honestly?” he worried.

“Honestly.” Namjoo nodded.

“You have to tell me if they mistreat you,” Sehun told closing his trunk. “I mean it, Namjoo.”

“It’s been fine lately. Really.”

He observed her for a moment. “Ok.” Brushing his hand over her hair and stopping at the back of her head he stared into her eyes. She thought he might kiss her, but he didn’t. “Go in. I’ll call you later.”

“Ok. Bye.” Namjoo glanced back once before heading inside.

Surprisingly, Uncle Jaejin was in the kitchen with his laptop. A cup of fresh tea sat by the computer’s side. At her appearance he twisted his wrist to look at his watch. Perhaps he had been timing her.

“Back on time.” He noted. “Good job.” That would be it Namjoo assumed, but he left his stool and came around to the kitchen table. “The list.” She handed it to him. “Lets make sure you got everything I wrote down for you, so don’t leave yet.”

Like a child being scored on his assignment, he made her stand there as he very thoroughly went through everything she had bought. It was an even worse feeling than waiting to see if she had passed an interview for a job. The air was so cold and stale Namjoo could barely move.

“Good,” he finally spoke. “Now go bring a tray of refreshments to share with your mother. She has been waiting for you all morning.”

“Yes,” Namjoo robotically answered and turned to get to work.

Aunt Youngja was rewatching Chunhei’s favorite show when Namjoo approached. Her eyes wide and absorbed on the screen. A scene Namjoo had seen a thousand times over.

“I brought some snacks,” Namjoo set the tray down on the coffee table.

“Chunhei, you’re here?” Pulling her down beside her, Aunt Youngja’s hands grappled for her shoulders. “Look! Isn’t he just handsome! You always had a crush on him, remember?!”

Namjoo stared at the unfamiliar actor on the screen. A name she had forgotten. Forcing a smile, “Yes.”

Studying her face, she tilted her head. Touching her cheeks, she wondered sadly, “What’s wrong? Did your father yell at you?”

“No.” Namjoo lied. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Then why don’t you sound happy?”

Namjoo stared into the famished woman’s big round eyes. Thinking, if she knew the truth everyone would be happier.

If only she knew.

ϞϞϞϞϞ

Sehun wanted to call right away, but he waited till it was darker. For cautionary measures, and hoping Namjoo would anticipate him more.

When the time finally felt right, he finally called her. As expected, Namjoo answered after the first ring bringing a broad smile to his face. Glad that she had waited.

“What are you doing?” Sehun wondered leaning against his car. Staring at the building adjacent to his left.

“Well, obviously, getting ready to sleep. If you called sooner, I’d be in bed by now,” she lightly scolded.

He continued smiling anyway. “Then I guess you really don’t want to see me.”

“I already saw you, what are you…” she paused. Asking more calmly, “What are you talking about?”

The smile inched across his face, “Come out. I’ll wait for you.”

He hung up, tucked his phone away, and kept his eyes solely on the iron door. Listening to the front door open and close a few minutes later. Feeling his heart pick up as Namjoo hurried down the stairs toward him. The rush of adrenaline was as overpowering as ever.

Every color popped vibrantly when Namjoo stepped out from the iron door peering in his direction. The flutterings he was experiencing made him want to dance on the spot.

“What?” she wondered with twinkling eyes. Then teasing with a pretty smile, “You couldn’t wait until tomorrow?” Saying coyly, “I guess you missed me that much.”

Eagerly reaching for her hand he gladly played along, “Yea. I couldn’t wait.”

The elated smile spread across her face shyly bringing about the drumroll of his heart.

“Is everyone sleeping?”

Namjoo nodded. “No one heard me come down.”

“Then, want to go for a walk?” he asked.

“Ok.” She nodded.

Turning they headed down the block. Similar to his neighborhood, the roads were abandoned at this time. With just a few street lamps lighting up each corner. They passed parked cars, locked doors, and even taller brick walls.

“You should have said you were coming,” Namjoo said.

“That takes away the element of surprise.”

“You call this a surprise?”

“I didn’t surprise you?”

Namjoo rolled her eyes. “I could have gone to sleep.”

“I’m sure you waited for me to call,” Sehun prompted. “Did you know how hard it was for me not to call earlier?”

“I don’t know.” She playfully turned away.

“You shouldn’t be so cute, you know.”

“How is that cute?” she frowned. “Don’t go cheesy on me again.”

“I’m not.” He argued. She continued staring at him. Growing flustered, he asked, “What?”

“Do you flirt with everyone this way?”

“Of course not!” he denied. “Who do you take me for?”

Her expression brightened, but she didn’t wholly smile. She shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“You told me not to become cheesy,” he reminded, “so I won’t say it.”

“Don’t,” she told. “It’s gross and it makes me feel weird.”

“Fine.” He said. “Then stop staring at me. It makes me feel weird.”

Namjoo scoffed. “You’re really funny in an unexpectedly weird way.”

“You’re stuck with me, so I guess you have to deal with it,” he said. They passed the corner under a street lamp, which momentarily blinded them. Bringing a bout of short laughter. After a few steps he watched her rub her eyes. He would walk her back after this he promised.

“Namjoo,” he called for her attention. His grip loosened, tightened on her hand. “I want to kiss you.”

Her eyes settled on him, drawing him in.

“Was that too cheesy?” he asked.

Sehun caught the movement of as she swallowed. Batting her lids, she looked away. Murmuring, “You had to ask?”

A quick smile caught his lips before he excitedly locked lips with her. Sweetly savoring the moment and doing it again. As Namjoo angled her head back for the moment and flinched when his tongue touched her lips.

“S…sorry,” he released her hand. Anxiously touching his neck. Worried if he had overstepped a boundary she wasn’t ready to cross.

The distance between them was so close. Just a tiny gap. He could hear her fast breathing. Almost taste the warmth emanating off her body.

“I…it’s ok.” Her voice so quiet he wasn’t sure he was hearing her. Then she looked up at him. “You can do it again.”

His eyes become a little rounder. Taking a moment to let the words process to his brain. Namjoo’s eyes swayed downwards then up to meet his again. In that one moment the courage he had experienced the day he confessed shot back through him. Wrapping his arms around her he pulled her toward him. Reciprocating, Namjoo linked her arms around his neck. Opening for him as they stepped back into the shadows.

Tonight, he would kiss the breath out of her. Maybe Namjoo didn’t want to hear it, but he’d still show her that he’d never experienced these kinds of stampeding feelings before. And she was his first.

She was his first.

***I know the wait has been long. As frustrating as it has been, I also want to do something for my crowfund sponsors. Thank you for the support and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

***Edit: thanks to everyone else for patiently waiting for me. You are all the kindest <3