ϞϞϞϞϞ

Namjoo flipped her phone over and over and over. Now in bed but wide awake. The lights turned off. The door locked.

She wished he would call, but after the kiss…she didn’t think he would. Perhaps to give her space. Perhaps to have some time alone to think. Yet really, she just wanted him beside her so that everything would feel ok.

Flipping the phone again Namjoo turned the screen on. It was 4AM. Sehun would be asleep. She shouldn’t wake him up, but then…what if she couldn’t see him in the morning? What if they didn’t see each other for a few days?

She would miss him.

What if in that duration of time Uncle Jaejin would complain to his parents?

She worried.

Namjoo chewed her thumbnail. Forget it she thought. She would call. She wanted to hear his voice. She wanted to tell him she wasn’t upset with him.

Scrolling through her phone she found Sehun’s name and pressed the device to her ear. Listening to the phone ring. Hoping he wasn’t too deep asleep. She was sorry she had to wake him, but she needed assurance.

Contrary to her expectations, Sehun answered faster than she hoped. “Namjoo?”

His voice stirred her heart. Moving her phenomenally. It was strange that she wanted to melt against him. Hug him. Bury her face in his shirt and hide from the rest of the world.

“Are you there?” he called out. “Are you ok?”

“Yea, I’m ok,” Namjoo answered in a low voice. Careful not to speak too loudly in case someone was lurking the halls and heard her.

“I’m sorry, you got in trouble,” Sehun apologized.

“It’s ok,” Namjoo assured. “He didn’t scold me too much.”

“I wish you didn’t have to stay there,” he said. “I don’t like the way they treat you.”

“No, it’s…it’s really ok,” Namjoo assured. She could deal with everything else, but she hated how Uncle Jaejin looked down on Sehun. If possible, she didn’t want Sehun to know about the things his uncle said about him. How much that could hurt him knowing a close family member disliked him so much.

“Namjoo,” Sehun gently called, “I’m sorry.”

Her heart went out to him. How hard it must be on him, too. That those around him had these perceptions about him, judging him by what they thought about him. All without giving him a chance to show who he truly was. No one dared to think he had the capability to self-reflect.

She was sorry he felt like he had to protect her from even his friends.

“Sehun,” she said, “it’s ok. I’m not upset with you.”

“Are you sure you’re really ok?” he worried.

Smiling, she nodded even if he couldn’t see her. “Sorry, I woke you up.”

“I was still awake,” he admitted. “Actually, I couldn’t sleep. I was worried I had scared you off.”

Namjoo giggled. “It’ll take more than that to scare me.”

“Oh?” he teased.

They chatted for another half hour. Calling it a night when she began dozing off. Dreaming again of cotton flowers floating prettily along a green field. Merrily trying to catch the fluffs. Under the glowing rays of the giant sun. Streaking gold around her. Accompanied by much bliss in a faraway land.

ϞϞϞϞϞ

“Yes, yes,” he heard his mother speaking into the phone on his way downstairs. “I understand. Yes, I’m sorry. We’ll be more careful.”

Her stance proved hints of distress. Shoulders low. Standing hunched. Voice low and controlled. The phone was pressed very tightly to her ear. And she was speaking in the corner of the kitchen, as if hiding.

Sehun watched her from the kitchen doorway. Lowering the phone, she turned around halting. Startled to see him.

“What are you standing there for?” she lightly scolded. Passing him she walked toward the fridge to prepare breakfast.

“Who was that?” he questioned.

“You’re in the way,” she brushed him off. “Go play outside or do whatever it is you do.”

“Who called you this early?” he pressed.

“I said you’re in the way,” she cocked her head to the side, staring flatly at him.

“Is it my aunt?” he asked. “Or uncle?” She sighed. Sehun went on, “Did they say something to you?”

Heaving another heavy sigh, she nudged the fridge close with a shoulder. “Last night, where were you?”

“So, they did,” he affirmed. Avoiding the question, he worried, “Is Namjoo in trouble?”

“How late did you stay out?” she interrogated. “If you want to go on a date, do it during daylight hours. Taking her at night makes you suspicious. You should know this already; what people think a man and a woman do together at night.”

He gasped, appalled. Tried not to let his face go red or his mind run into dangerous scenarios of what ifs. “We wouldn’t! I know better!” he huffed, complaining, “It’s not like Namjoo can leave their house for more than two hours at a time during the day. How are we supposed to meet up when they keep her locked up?”

His mother massaged her forehead, stressed. “Ok, I know. Of course, it’s hard, but there’s no other choice. Your aunt and uncle are very unhappy. If you don’t want any trouble for Namjoo, it’s best to meet during the day, even if it’s for an hour.” Pausing, she hesitated. After a beat she said, “Or maybe, lay low for a while.”

His brows furrowed deeper onto his face. Repeating himself, “Is she in trouble?”

“I hope not,” his mother replied, which didn’t help much to settle his heart at all.

He gritted his teeth, upset. Impulsively deciding he couldn’t just do nothing he whirled around to head out. He didn’t budge, because his mother stopped him with her iron grip.

“Sehun,” she called in her coaxing motherly tone, “don’t go. Leave her be for today.”

Conflicted, he stared hard at the linoleum floor. In a subtle tone, “I don’t want to.”

“She’ll be ok. You have to believe in her. Your aunt loves her more than anything. Do you think she would let anything happen to her?”

“I don’t like the way they’re using her,” he muttered. “As if she’s their daughter and then not their daughter.”

“Look at you.” She released her grip and turned away to start going through the ingredients she had pulled out of the fridge. Smiling proudly. “You’ve become mature; thinking about someone other than yourself.”

Sehun frowned at her. “I’m not saying it to humor you.”

“I know,” she comforted. Wisely advising, “When the kettle’s too hot it’s better to let it cool down than touch it. Time will wane but it won’t cease to exist. You’ll be able to see her again. Doesn’t the sun always go down and come back up?”

ϞϞϞϞϞ

Namjoo couldn’t leave the house for a week. Instead of the office where Uncle Jaejin regularly spent his hours, he started bringing his laptop out into the kitchen. Gluing himself at the table. Making sure she didn’t sneak out of the house. When Aunt Youngja took her naps, he made her clean after the home. Vacuum, sweep, clean the counter and table, run to the grocery store within a certain time limit, make him snacks, get him water.

The only time she left the house was when she went walking around the block with Aunt Youngja. Make sure she get some exercise and fresh air Uncle Jaejin would lecture. Do it each day for half an hour. She wasn’t to go over the time in case Aunt Youngja overexerted herself or any less than thirty minutes.

Once they went over the limit decided, Uncle Jaejin brewed a storm that had her cleaning the entire bathroom. Aunt Youngja, too exhausted, pleaded him to stop from her bed where she lay with half opened eyes.  

That was her punishment for sneaking out.

Laying in her bed late that afternoon she wondered if Hyejoo had ever been punished. Had her twin been happy with this family?

She nearly fell asleep when her phone buzzed. Sitting up when she answered and heard her dad’s voice for the first time in a month.

“Where’ve you been?” he sounded cheery. “Are you having too much fun that you forgot your father?”

Pressing a hand to her clamped eyes she struggled not to cry. Hearing home for the first time in a while. Missing her father. Thinking of the missing Hyejoo her father had yearned for. His other beloved daughter.

“I’m having fun,” Namjoo croaked.

“You’re not going to stay in the city forever?” he asked.

“No.”

He chuckled happy to hear that. “Come home soon. Sambok is getting lonely without you.”

The raw ache wound up tighter inside her chest. “I’ll be home soon.”

“All right. Have fun while you can,” he said then teased, “it’ll be the last time you go to the city.”

Namjoo half sniffed, half laughed. Hoped he didn’t hear.

“I put some extra money into your account for you. Make sure you’re not skipping your meals. I hear it can get cold in the city, so dress warmly. Buy new clothes if you have to. Tell me if you need more money. Ok?”

Namjoo hiccupped as her eyes welled up with tears. Nodding, “Ok.”

“I’ll hang up. Go back and play. Your father just wanted to make sure you were having fun,” he said.

“Dad,” Namjoo called. “I miss you.”

He chuckled gladly. “Then you shouldn’t have left. All right, all right. Call me if you need anything. I’m hanging up now.”

Sniffing, Namjoo wiped her face.

Soaking in the silence as she sat alone. Going over her circumstances. She was taking too long discovering how Hyejoo ended up here. Just ask, she thought. Confront Uncle Jaejin or Hyunjae. There was no other choice, no other way. One of them had to spill out the truth for her.

Namjoo wouldn’t stay here forever. She would leave soon, but the mere thought of leaving Sehun behind was hard. It made her miserable just imagining it.

Knocking her head back into the wall she glued her lips together. Troubled. Jolting when there was a knock on the door. Sighing, Namjoo slid off the bed. Unlocking the door for Uncle Jaejin. It flew open before she could even twist the knob.

“Go down. Your mother is asking for you.” He stoically ordered.

Lowering her eyes Namjoo walked out, down the stairs, and down the hall to Aunt Youngja’s room. To her dismay, Uncle Jaejin had followed her. From where she stood it looked like the elder woman had already fallen back asleep.

“Go in,” he demanded.

“Why?” Namjoo asked. “She’s asleep.”

“Then sit with her for a few minutes,” he impatiently told. With a steelier tone, “Go on!”

The door closed behind her, softly. Aunt Youngja was deep in sleep. With such weak mentality and being drugged every day with her medicine, it was no wonder she was lifeless. She kind of resembled Snow White, but she didn’t need a prince. What she needed…was a happier, stable family.

But that wasn’t what Namjoo could be for her.

Sadness was a lonely battle, but before anyone could help, she needed to first have the will to change. That was when true change happened.

Sitting down on the chair beside the bed Namjoo listened to the silence buzz around her. Thinking, again, of her circumstances.

“Actually,” Namjoo quietly began, “I’m not your daughter. No…actually…your daughter isn’t probably your daughter. You see, I have a sister. Her name is Hyejoo. Kim Hyejoo. And she’s my twin, my older sister by three minutes. My sister disappeared when I was younger, and I think I’ve finally found her.”

Letting her eyes roam over the soft violet blanket, Namjoo could feel her heart breaking for her doting father. “Your Chunhei is my Hyejoo. Did you know? Did you?”

Aunt Youngja remained as still as ever.

“How did she come here? How did she end up here? Why did you take her from my family?” Namjoo asked, but the woman didn’t budge. “I don’t want to be your Chunhei. I just want to be my father’s daughter. Can you let me go?”

Namjoo gripped onto her pants. Staring hard at Aunt Youngja, unmoving, uncaring. Tearing up because she felt helpless and this was unfair.

When Namjoo left she stepped into the backyard for some air. Watching the sun hover lowly over the treetops. Holding her palm out as if to catch a cherry blossom leaf flittering down. But there was nothing.

Then moving on autopilot, she raced upstairs for her phone. Dashing back downstairs toward the door. Uncle Jaejin just coming out from his shower yelled, “Where do you think you’re going?”

But she wasn’t going to let him stop her.

She was upset. She was filled with determination.

She had had enough of his punishing her.

Increasing her pace, she flew out the door. Racing across the yard and down the stairs toward the iron door before he could catch her. Running all the way toward the street. Flailing her arm out for a taxi. Making her great escape.

ϞϞϞϞϞ

Upon the immediate call, Sehun left his house at the speed of light. Speeding toward the park. Hurriedly parking and searching the throng of people. Twisting and turning as he crossed the open fields. Looking for the familiar face.

Breathing a sigh of relief when he discovered her by the lazy side of the river with her feet dipped in the water. After purchasing a bottle of water, he joined her. Taking his shoes off and dipping his feet in as well.

“Just one?” she asked when she saw the bottle.

“We already kissed, so I don’t think sharing matters at this point.” He grinned.

Snatching the water from him she took a gulp. He watched her head tilt back. The way she opened . The distinct movement of as she swallowed. Then stared at her face like he’d never seen her before.

“Are you ok?” he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

She glanced at him with a glint in her eye. “I’m ok.”

“I missed you.” Sehun felt for her hand.

“Me, too.”

“It was one hell of a week,” Sehun confessed. “Were they very angry with you?”

“Sehun,” she said, “I said it’s ok.”

He observed her not sure if he could take her words for granted.

“So, what did you do?” Namjoo wondered.

“I tried a job orientation,” he explained, “but I didn’t like it.”

“You should do something you like,” Namjoo encouraged. “It’s better to do something you can find meaning in. That way, waking up each morning will become more bearable.”

He tapped her cheek teasingly. “Aren’t you just the wise one?”

Namjoo grinned. “I live by experience.” Touching his fingers in turn she said, “Someday, I believe you’ll find what you want to do.”

“You think?” he asked, touched by her support.

“I do.” She nodded.

He hoped his future would include her.

“Namjoo,” he called. Their eyes locked when she turned. “Do you want to sleep with me?”

Her irises seemed to him in. Just staring at him. Sehun even held his breath.

Looking away shyly, she quietly said, “I don’t think I’m ready.”

Sehun kind of felt like a fool and he kind of didn’t. Having needed to never ask before, but this time around it was important to know what she thought. At least he gave it a try. If she wanted to wait, he would wait for her.

She seemed to shrink beside him. Embarrassed. Clutching harder onto the bottle of water to draw his attention away from her. He listened to the plastic crack under the pressure of her hold. The soft chatter behind them. The greedy seagulls crying overhead.

Stealing a glance of him from the corner of her eye she told, “Can you not stare?”

The corner of his lip curved up. Glad, happy. “Why?” he asked. “You’re pretty. Who wouldn’t want you?”

She shoved him, “Stop it.”

He laughed, amused. “What did I do?”

She shoved him again. He shoved her twice harder. Gleefully enjoying the other’s presence under the glow of the sun. Pulling their feet out of the water when their soles started to become wrinkly.

Holding hands on the trek to his car. “Should we go to a buffet before I take you back?”

“Actually,” Namjoo said, “I don’t want to go back today.”

Sehun looked at her quizzically. Surprised she would have the courage to say something like it.

Namjoo’s eyes darted off then back to him. “Can we stay at a hotel overnight?”

He choked, “What?”

***they.are.so.getting.in.trouble