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“Son!” his mother called out when he arrived through the door. Arms outstretched to hug him. Patting his back, “Look at you.” Withdrawing but still holding onto him she observed his face, “You must be so hungry. Come, I’ve prepared dinner.”

“Let me put my stuff upstairs first,” he said.

“Come down when you’re ready,” his mother nodded.

Hefting his suitcase, he headed up the wooden staircase. Down the b hallway toward his room. So wide that the guest room at sanctuary could have been a closet. Putting the suitcase down he walked over to the window. Covered by a dark blackout curtain. Pushing the heavy material aside he put the potted flower onto his window sill.

It was nighttime. The sky so bleary and dark here. Pure black like a heavy blanket. A view of the backyard stretched into the beyond outside his window. Decorated with his mother’s pretty flowers and picnic table. All the décor a signature of hers. Marking this territory as their home.

Tomorrow he would unpack. First, he wanted to eat. Then he’d shower and rest.

Unlike Namjoo’s tiny home where every room was within ten steps of each other, his home seemed like its own kingdom. Broad, wide, large. Each extending room plush and full. Filled to the brim with smart books, pictures to mark important dates, with hints of sweet scents from his mother’s air fresheners.

Passing a glass cabinet of Nobel prizes from his parents’ peace work he entered the dining room. A long room with rows of French paned windows. During the day sunlight streaked in. Each sharp ray landing on the wooden floor in a patterned manner. His mother loved it. How the rays made the home so bright.

“You’re home? Sit down.” His father was already at the table.

Sehun sat down opposite his mother. A woman with a slender frame, but he knew with all her work she was tough and trim. Her hair was pinned back tonight exposing her sharp jawline. She had washed off her makeup revealing her fine lines and enlarged pores. Just a mother she was tonight. He wondered what kind of role his father would play to his mother’s good cop.

“Yes.” He replied picking up his spoon.

“How did you like the farm?” Oh Minjoon inquired.

“It was all right.” Sehun replied taking a bite of the food.

“Did you find anything that interested you there?”

“I’m not sure.”

“What do you mean you’re not sure?” his father interrogated. “Isn’t there anything you’d like to do?”

“Honey, he’s eating,” his mother said. “Let him relax. It was a long way home.”

His old man sighed. “I hope you were able to clear your thoughts while you were away. You need to start thinking about your future. Eat up then. We can talk some other time.”

He sighed when he returned to his bedroom. Sinking into every bit of comfort possible. His bed. The familiarity of his surroundings. Closing his eyes when his head hit his fluffy pillow.

Finally, he was home.

That morning he awoke in the pre-dawn hours. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

The entire room was dark. In his mind he imagined a thin blue light streaking in from the window, which was ironically beside his bed like back at the sanctuary. Except…no rooster crowing.

Total silence engulfed the atmosphere. Sehun stared at the blank ceiling. Wide awake. Flipping onto his side he curled up waiting for sleep. It didn’t come no matter how long he waited. No matter how much he kept his eyes shut.

Throwing in his white towel he got up. Drawing the grand curtain open. The sun wasn’t up, but the sky was turning into a dark shade of dark aqua-blue. With the moon fading he guessed the sun would start rising within the hour. The potted flower was still in full bloom. The pink buds vibrant against the dark world. He touched the green leaves with a finger and smiled to himself.

Sehun washed up and headed downstairs. Not into the kitchen but past it toward the back door. Pushing it open as he stepped outside into the backyard. A tall cherry blossom tree stretched above him. The backyard wasn’t extravagant like the green field surrounding Namjoo’s home. The yard was enclosed at the end with a high brick wall. Enough space for a dog to roam, but he didn’t have a pet.

Sehun stared up at the sky. Void of stars. In the distance an ambulance was racing down the street. The sound of traffic a dimming story but the noise was still detectable. Not quiet in solitude like the early mornings at the farm. He imagined right now Sambok was still crowing. Outside his room? Or somewhere else now?

Then Namjoo’s father would get up to make breakfast. Namjoo would make coffee. They’d eat and they would both head out to tend to their work. Today what kind of people would visit the farm?

The hour waned. Surprisingly, he watched the sunrise. Streak the sky in a shade of pink and orange before climbing above the houses, moving higher. He turned to head inside to start his day.

ϞϞϞϞϞ

Out of urge Namjoo paused down the hallway. Staring past the wall plastered with pictures to the end of the hall. Three days since Sehun went home. The home was quieter. Her father was still in the process of accepting applications for volunteers. Just her and Sambok like always.

She shouldn’t but she did. Walking toward the empty room. Pushing the door open to peek inside. Sehun had cleaned up well. Not leaving a thing behind. Namjoo looked at the window sill where her potted flower used to sit. Wondering if by now it may have died because the air here was different from the city.

Closing the door, she stepped out. Tore hay apart to feed Klairs. Rubbing her between the ears. Listening to the silence surround her.

“He’s gone,” Namjoo told. “Lets not be sad.”

Namjoo listened to her noisily munch on the hay. Then she turned to call for Sambok and headed into the field.

She occupied her week with the usual work. By herself. The days becoming long and quiet. With no one to talk to or pull a prank on. As usual she led the school kids to the orange farm. Joining in on the activity of picking oranges. Subconsciously thinking about the day Sehun had thrown an orange at her. Smiling to herself recalling when she’d seen him secretly eating one between the trees. And then remembering he was long gone.

Namjoo dragged a tote half full of tangerines on the way home to share with her dad. That evening she sat outside in the barn by herself. Watching the sky transition into night. Sambok settled down by her feet to keep her company. Staring off into the distance feeling bleak and empty.

Thinking it wasn’t unusual to see people come and go, but she was lonelier than should be. She was always all right whenever a volunteer bid their leave. Only…no one stayed past their one-month mark. So maybe she knew a lot of people by name, but no one had stained her with their mark.

Tilting her head back she wondered if tonight the stars would light up first. If clouds may hover around the moon instead. And how long the dank feelings would linger inside.

Namjoo’s heart lurched when she heard footsteps around the corner of the house. Thinking maybe it was who she was thinking of, but Shin Jun appeared with a bag of tangerines. Smiling when he saw her.

“So, you were out here,” he joined her.

“Oh…yea...” she replied trying not to sound disappointed. “I was watching the sun set.”

“It’s something people don’t usually do alone.” Jun commented.

“Really?” Namjoo asked. “I think it’s something pretty anyone can enjoy alone.”

“It’s more romantic to share the moment with someone else,” Jun smiled at her.

Namjoo looked at him then away. “Why are you here? We just saw each other.”

“Why? I can’t come see you?”

“No, it’s just…” her voice trailed off. “Never mind.”

“Namjoo.”

He leaned in when she turned. Parting his lips to kiss her. Surprised, Namjoo moved back bumping into the hay behind her. Trapping herself. Jumping off the stack of hay when their lips brushed. Clucking and fluttering his wings when she accidentally kicked Sambok.

“Uh…I uh…sorry…” Namjoo blurted flustered. Spinning around she darted toward the house.

“Where were you? Jun was looking for you,” her father called after her as raced up the stairs to her room.

Ignoring him she slammed the door shut. Taken aback by her own reaction. Because she would have let him kiss her. She had always been waiting for him to make the first move, but she had dodged.

Nervous, Namjoo rubbed her hands together. What was wrong with her?

ϞϞϞϞϞ

His phone dinged a few times, but he hadn’t answered any of his messages. Expecting he would have the moment he reached home.

He hadn’t.

He was bored. Sitting in front of his computer surfing the net. Literally had spent the entire day doing nothing but loitering in front of the television. Then spent a quarter of the evening look for jobs. None of which he was interested in.

So, what now?

His phone went off again. Another box popped up on his screen. Giving in, he reached for the device. Reading a message from Minjae. Was he interested in going out?

Not really.

He chewed on his thumbnail then got up and grabbed his jacket.

His father had reactivated his cards. Handing them back to him that morning. Telling him to use them responsibly. He would he promised with empty words.

He drove up to a brightly lit club downtown. Walking in and finding an empty seat by the bar. The deep bass music shook the entire building. Each room laced dimly to match the mysterious atmosphere. Night people were sprawled all over in their own little groups. Men and women socializing over drinks, casually hitting on each other. None of his friends were gathered here tonight. Actually, he didn’t really feel like seeing them yet.

Sehun wanted to recuperate alone. Requiring the space to adapt back to city life. Sort his thoughts from who knows what, but he wanted to be by himself.

After ordering a drink he sat there preoccupied, stirring the cubes around in his sweating glass cup. Listening to the music bounce. Vibrate through his body. Eavesdropping on the conversation nearby. Why wasn’t who and who contacting her? What the !

Slowly becoming annoyed with the noise, he grabbed his cup and turned to leave. Find somewhere quieter to sit. Halting in his steps when a woman slid into the seat beside him. Forcing him back down.

Smiling tenaciously, she greeted, “Hey, there.”

He stared at her. Watched her cross her legs. Her short skirt slid up her revealing creamy thighs. The smile grew a little sharper.

“Want to buy me a drink?” she asked. “You look a little lonely.”

“I’m on a budget,” he flatly said.

“Oh, come on.” She continued.

The music ended. Another started. Just as loud. The tempo identical to the last. Drumming against the walls. Pounding into his ears. Growing irritated he left his seat. Frustrated. Stepping outside into the cool evening. in the air as the club echoed behind him like a distant ghost.

Heaving a sigh, he tilted his head up to stare at the black sky. Towering above him the club sign shone as bright as day. Each letter sparkling so. Could hear in his head Namjoo’s voice talking to him about the stars, the lights, the moon.

Lowering his head, he scoffed at himself. For thinking about her so randomly.

Swiveling he headed to his car and drove back home.

When he woke up in the morning, the potted flower was starting to wilt.

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The new volunteer Kim Junhee arrived early morning. She wanted something to put on her resume, so she was happy to be here during spring break. She was excited to help out as much as she could. Leaving the young gal to talk to her father about her studies, Namjoo went down the hall to check on the guest room.

Staring at the empty space once occupied not too long ago. Roving her eyes over the window sill. Empty now. Hadn’t found it in her to put a new potted flower in the room. She turned upon footsteps and smiled at the new volunteer. Explaining this was her room for one month and to make herself at home. Then she left and went to her room. Standing there.

Feeling like lately she wasn’t herself. Jun hadn’t come back either. It was a relief, because she didn’t know what to say to him. How to react. Explain why she hadn’t let him kiss her. Things beyond her own reasoning.

Twiddling with her fingers she stared at her desk. The books suddenly more vivid today. Titles ranging from mysteries to survival hacks. Since she lived in the middle of nowhere who knew whatever could happen and whatever she learned might come in handy. Namjoo blinked.

On impulse she searched for her backpack. Stuffed it, grabbed the book, and dashed downstairs. Heart pumping wildly and all.

“Dad, dad, dad!” Namjoo raced into the kitchen.

The old man straightened up from where he was bending over the table looking at a list of phone numbers. His wired glasses drooped down his nose. Noticing her backpack, he frowned, “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to the city.” Namjoo explained.

“What?” Frowning harder.

“Tomorrow…tomorrow I’ll come back,” Namjoo promised.

“Namjoo…” he started but she was already out the door. Rushing out into the wind excited.

Arriving in town on foot, Namjoo finally found her way to the terminal. Exhausted at last she found a bench and sat down after purchasing a train ticket to Seoul. Staring at the location on her printed ticket. Bursting with glee.

She was really going to the city.

Lifting her head, she observed the train tracks. Toward the many others waiting. Alone, together in groups of twos, threes, and more. She wondered where they were going. Who they were expecting to see or if they were just traveling for fun. The wait lasted 15 minutes. Then the ground rumbled. The granite rocks along the train tracks jumped and jiggled. A splash of wind whipped past as the colored train arrived in a blur. Stopping with a loud hiss. Getting to her feet Namjoo adjusted her backpack and waited to get on.

Nervous, anxious, but still really excited. She had never gone anywhere by herself before. So far from home on her own venture. Just once she thought. She should experience this like Sehun said. And it was true, she did want to see the city. Once. See if it was as phenomenal as she heard it was. Or if it was constantly busy like in the shows on television. When she arrived, she would like to visit the restaurants. If city food tasted differently than her father’s cooking.

Thinking about it, there were so many things Namjoo wanted to try. Eager, she stared out the window. Wondering what might await her in Seoul.

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The drive really took the entire day. Sehun made so many stops to use the bathroom and buy himself coffee he really commanded Driver Min for going the distance. It was really a tedious trip going all the way to Gimje. Sehun spent half the trip mulling over how a train ticket would have fared better. Relaxing in a cushioned seat would have been an improvement to constantly keeping his eyes glued to the road. Keeping awake in order not to crash into other drivers.

The chill was setting in when he finally arrived near the sanctuary. Leaving his car down the road and making the trek to the farm. Not night yet. Going back home meant he would arrive in the wee hours, but he wouldn’t argue about that. There really was nothing for him to do at all, so all that driving would at least fill in the gap of his boredom.

Electricity zipped through his veins when the front gates appeared. They would be surprised to see him. Inviting himself in he walked toward the glowing house. Sambok scrambled up to greet him clucking loudly. Hopping around his feet erratically.

“Yea, yea,” he greeted. “Where is everyone?”

His eyes passed the field. Empty. Catching the stench of the cows made him turn and increase his pace. Sambok kept nearby with his tiny head bobbing. If Namjoo heard she should have come running outside. Except no one had.

Nearing the door Sehun paused to think about what he might say. That he was just dropping by at this time of the night? Say he had forgotten something only to find out it was not here? Be welcomed for the night since it was late?

Sambok clucked noisily at his feet disturbing the silence. Then he heard footsteps and the door opened. Namjoo’s father stared back at him surprised.

“Sehun,” he said taken aback. Glancing past him then back to him, “What are you…”

“Uh…I…” he anxiously scratched the back of his head.

His mind entirely blanked. Internally panicking for coming here like a fool. Without having thought ahead.

“Are you looking for Namjoo?” the old man asked.

“Yes?” he asked surprised. “I mean, yes.” More clearly, “Yes. Is she here?”

“Oh no. What can we do?”

Sehun frowned.

“She left this morning. She said she was going to the city.”

“What?” His turn to frown at the absurdity.

“She didn’t explain. I called, but her phone must have died,” her father worried. “Do you remember if she has said anything to you?”

Sehun’s mouth opened, but nothing came out.

“I’m worried about her. She’s never been outside before. She may get lost,” her father’s tone dropped. “Can you call the police to look for her?”

A sense of guilt threaded through him. A memory of telling her to come see him shot point blank through his head.

One more look into the concerned man’s eyes made him feel worse by the second.

“I’ll find her,” he impulsively promised. “I’ll bring her home.”