Facing the past is the best way to move on

When she was mine

Note: I apologize for the inconsistencies with Jungeun/Lip’s character name. I don’t realize them sometimes when I write. From this chapter on, I’ll use Jungeun instead of Lip to make it easier for me and for you to read and not get dizzy. Once again, I do apologize. I also apologize if there are any mistakes in this chapter, I do not proof read :) I hope you like this chapter!


 

*Click clack click clack* 

 

The sound of Jungeun’s heels moving against the marble floors makes her presence known as she saunters through the front entrance towards the Mercedes parked out front. Her driver sobers up, quickly opening the back door as Jungeun slides into the car. As soon as the door shuts close, she lays her head back against the headrest and lets out a sigh in relief. Her driver makes no attempt to communicate, merely starting the ignition and exiting the restaurant’s grounds. 

 

Dealing with Madam Jeon was a massive challenge, remembering it still gives Jungeun the chills; she now understands why Hana warned her to be cautious when dealing with the older woman. Madam Jeon is the prime definition of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Harmless, calm and smooth with words on the outside - dangerous, fearsome and cunning on the inside. A formidable foe indeed. 

 

Pushing thoughts of Madam Jeon aside, Jungeun picks up her phone and dials her fiancé, wanting to let the girl know the success of their plans. The call goes through after two rings. 

 

Jungeun: Hello, Hana?

 

Hana: Hey, Eunnie, is everything okay?

 

She feels a flood of relief pour into her system when she hears Hana’s soothing voice come through the other side. 

 

Jungeun: Yeah, everything is fine. I just finished the meeting with Madam Jeon. Wanted to let you know that our plan appears to have succeeded. The woman was really pissed.  

 

Hana: That’s good. The angrier she gets, the more reckless she’ll be, the more likely she is to slip up. I’m sure you were amazing. Too bad, I wasn’t there to witness it personally. 

 

Jungeun smiles when she hears Hana’s compliment, she is glad to be of help to Hana. 

 

Jungeun: Thanks, I was scared to slip up, the woman was truly a force to deal with.

 

Hana: A crafty woman like her; it’s not hard to tell but I’m sure you excelled, you always do.

 

Jungeun: I’ll tell you more when I see you. Where are you now? I’ll head over to you. 

 

Hana: ...I’m at...the old apartment. 

 

Hana’s mention of the old apartment surprises Jungeun. She is well-aware of the reason Hana has chosen not to return to that place, which is why it shocks Jungeun to know that Hana is there. 

 

Hana: It would really help if you could...come.

 

It doesn’t take Jungeun long to reply. 

 

Jungeun: I’ll be there soon. Wait for me, Hana.

 

Hana: Okay…” 

 

Jungeun ends the call swiftly and tells her driver the address of Hana’s old apartment, telling him to step on it. They arrive not long after with Jungeun catching sight of Hana standing outside of the apartment block in her flashy two piece pinstripe suit. The matte black Maserati that she was leaning on does nothing to hide the air of grandeur which envelops Hana’s entire being, making her stand out amongst the worn out, weatherbeaten buildings.

 

Jungeun’s driver pulls up to a stop beside Hana’s Maserati. Eager to see Hana, Jungeun pushes open the car door and jumps out, closing the door behind her with a bang. She makes her way towards Hana with haste, watching as Hana slowly turns her head to the side, her eyes catching Jungeun’s midway. 

 

The sides of Hana’s lips rise when she sees Jungeun jogging lightly towards her, the familiar bubbly feeling floats into her heart, engulfing it with a warmth only present when Jungeun is near her. She pushes off her car and opens her arms widely, welcoming Jungeun into her embrace. Jungeun settles just nicely inside Hana’s arms; their bodies melt against each other, feeling every burden lift off their shoulders from the day’s work as they pull each other closer together. 

 

After what appears to be an eternity, they pull away from the hug with their arms still wound around each other’s waist. 

 

Hana tilts her head to the side with a crescent smile, her dimple visible to Jungeun even with the lack of light around the pair - one of the Hana’s traits that Jungeun loves more than anything.

 

“Hi,” Hana whispers. 

 

Jungeun grins and lightly squeezes Hana’s waist, tugging her closer. “Hey.” 

 

“How was your day? Eventful, I assume.” 

 

Jungeun rolls her eyes, letting out a tired huff. “Oh, you have no idea. I could feel her getting ready to pounce once we ended.” 

 

Hana chuckles lowly when listening to Jungeun. 

 

“The woman looked so harmless but when I suggested cutting the investment and increasing the profits, her face changed in an instant! It was ready to kill me! With my constant cutting in, she couldn’t even get one word in,” Jungeun giggles, remembering the older woman’s stunned expression. 

 

Hana’s smile never leaves her face, instead widening upon her fiancée’s glee. 

 

“I’m sure she’s kicking her chair just about now. You were always the best at mind games.” 

 

“I was, wasn’t I? I was the executioner and you were the mastermind behind my schemes, we are such a normal pair, aren’t we?” Jungeun quips. 

 

“We indeed are,” Hana declares, snorting shortly after at the absurdity of both their statements. 

 

“Why are you out here instead of waiting upstairs?” Jungeun asks, shifting to the topic that Jungeun knows Hana was trying to avoid facing. 

 

Hana’s smile drops when she realizes she can no longer avoid the topic. 

 

“I don’t know how to... it’s been years since that time. I can’t…” Hana’s voice trails off. 

 

Jungeun could see the conflict going on in Hana’s head, her face revealing all to Jungeun. Jungeun rests her cheek against Hana’s chest and mumbles, “I’m here now. We’ll do this together.”

 

Hana weakly nods as Jungeun steps back, moving her arms away from Hana’s waist. She slides her hand down the length of Hana’s arm and intertwines her fingers with Hana’s. Hana leans her head down, pressing her forehead against Jungeun’s. When all words fail, Hana knows Jungeun would understand the meaning behind her actions; it was after all, Jungeun who taught her this. 

 

15 years old Hana sobs miserably outside the ward in which her mother resides. The doctor had just informed her that her mother was diagnosed with stage 2 lung cancer. The chances of survival since she was still in the early stages of stage 2 was 60%, the doctor says he will try his best to help and that Hana should be strong for her mother’s sake. Hana watches her mother’s sleeping form from the transparent glass of the ward’s sliding door with a heavy heart. 

 

“Hana!” 

 

Hana whips her head around to see Jungeun and her mother rushing towards them. Hana’s eyes water even more as Jungeun jumps to hug her, prompting Hana’s second outburst. 

 

“I’m sorry, Hana. Mom wanted to stop by the doctor to ask. I’m so sorry.” 

 

Hana mumbles out incoherent words through her sobs, Jungeun hearing none that she understands. Jungeun shares a knowing look with her mother who disappears through the door of the ward leaving the two teens alone. Hana stays in Jungeun’s arms for god knows how long, sobbing and mumbling against Jungeun’s shoulder, she might have rubbed her snot somewhere on Jungeun as well (she can’t remember). 

 

Finally, her tears dry and sobs reduced enough for Jungeun to pull away slightly to see Hana’s red rudolph resembling nose, bloodshot eyes from all her crying and chapped shivering lips. Jungeun’s heart aches at the sight of her best friend’s state. 

 

“How are you holding up?”

 

It was a foolish question on Jungeun’s half, but she was concerned. 

 

Hana opens , closing it once again, unable to answer Jungeun’s question because as it stands, she doesn’t know. She tries her hardest to find her voice back but, no sound nor words come. 

 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to answer,” Jungeun whispers after seeing Hana’s struggle, slowly leaning her head down, pressing her forehead lightly against Hana’s. “Remember, when all words fail, Hana, this will tell me everything. So in the future, when you feel like you can’t say anything, do this and I’ll know. I’ll always wait patiently until you’re ready to talk, I promise.” 

 

Hana hopes Jungeun still remembers what she said all those years ago. Jungeun smiles warmly, breathing short but meaningful words. “I know.” 

 

Hana moves her face closer in, the tips of their nose touching one another as she rubs them together affectionately, pulling away with a satisfied smile. Jungeun and Hana then take their first steps into the old building together. They stand in front of the elevator as Hana presses the metal button with the up arrow and wait for it to arrive. 

 

The elevator doors creak open with a metallic whirr, allowing the pair to enter it as Hana reaches out to press 5 before moving to the close button. The doors close and ascend, arriving at a fast pace despite the old age of the machinery. The pair steps out of the elevator, walking towards apartment block 545. 

 

As they stroll through the walkway, Hana’s memories of the past return to her bit by bit. 

 

“Mama! Mama! I got the highest in Mathematics! Kang-ssaem praised me today!” 

 

“Is that so? Waaah, my Hana is the best! Tonight, I will cook all your favourite dishes! We’ll celebrate!” 

 

Hana’s eyes begin to water as thoughts of her mother come to mind. 

 

“Hana-chan! What happened to your arm?” 

 

Hana is quick to hide the bruises and cuts on her arm away from her mother. 

 

“N..Nothing! I tripped and fell, that’s all.” 

 

Her mother grabs hold of her arm as she lets out a pained howl. Her mother’s eyes widen in shock and quickly has her brought to the hospital where the doctor informs them of the fracture. Her mother says nothing, pulling Hana into an embrace. 

 

Hana wonders if her mother could tell she was lying, Hana snickers, of course her mother knew. Hana was never a good liar, her mother would always advise her to tell the truth, only lie when the situation calls for it. Oh, how she misses her mother so dearly.

 

The walk down memory lane stops the same time they arrive at the doorstep of apartment block 545. Hana stares hesitantly at the keyhole on the door. Hana feels Jungeun squeezing her hand, giving her the silent support and courage. As Hana reaches out to take the key from her pocket, she hears someone call out to her. 

 

“Hana?” 

 

Hana and Jungeun whips around to see her old neighbour, Mrs Roh. 

 

“Is that really you, child?” Mrs Roh looks delighted to meet Hana again, excitement sparkles within her eyes. “It’s been years since I’ve seen you! You’ve grown from a girl to a woman in such a short time, so beautiful and mature!” 

 

“Thank you, Mrs Roh. You look like you haven’t aged a day since I left!” 

 

Mrs Roh giggles. 

 

“Thank you for the compliment, child but old age is indeed getting to me! My bones and joints ache from morning till night.” 

 

Hana and Jungeun laugh along with the elder’s playful words. 

 

Mrs Roh drops her joyful expression, replacing it with a more somber one and says, “I am sorry for the loss of your mother, Hana. This may have arrived years too late but, at that time, you left so suddenly; I wasn’t given a chance to send my condolences. She was a great woman! Always smiling, always cheerful and never once complained despite working many shifts. I used to admire her tenacity, and to juggle raising a child and working, she earned more than my respect. Losing her was truly a shame.” 

 

Hana forces her lips to form a smile. 

 

“Thank you for your kind words, Mrs Roh. I’m sure she’ll be glad to hear them.” 

 

Mrs Roh nods solemnly, her eyes flickering over to see Jungeun. The elder wonders why the girl appears so familiar in her mind, her brain registering the memory of a couple months back. 

 

“You!” She points at Jungeun who blinks in surprise. 

 

Jungeun raises her pointer finger and directs it at herself. “Me?” 

 

“Yes, you. You were here a couple months ago, weren’t you? You came in a rush, searching for Hana until I told you she hasn’t returned in years. That was you, right?” 

 

“Yes, indeed, Ma’am. That was me. It’s nice to meet you after so long, Mrs Roh. I am Jungeun Kim, the kid you used to see with Hana all the time.” 

 

Mrs Roh claps her hand in realisation. 

 

“Ahh! The gangster looking one! Yes, I remember you! You came over to Hana’s house often.” 

 

Hana stifles her laugh as Jungeun blushes red at the elder’s description of her past self.

 

“So, are the two of you together? I mean I knew from the beginning, the two of you were quite the perfect pair,” Mrs Roh adds. 

 

The two girls laugh awkwardly, not refuting nor answering the elder’s question. Hana is quick to divert the elder’s attention with different matters. 

 

“It was really nice seeing and talking to you again, Mrs Roh! It’s getting late and the wind gets stronger at night, so it’d be best for you to head back inside. I don’t want you catching a cold out here.” 

 

Mrs Roh nods. “Indeed it is. I hope to see you around sometime, don’t be a stranger, alright? You two should head back too! It’s getting dark and the streets aren’t safe these days.” 

 

Hana and Jungeun bow as the elder waves, heading back into her own apartment. Hana lets out a relieved sigh, glancing towards Jungeun to check on her. She receives a head shake along with a huff of air in return from Jungeun making Hana giggle out of amusement. 

 

Hana does not hesitate this time, reaching her hand into her pocket to take out the key. She inserts it into the keyhole, turning it clockwise and hearing the click of the lock. Her eyes flicker towards Jungeun for support to which Jungeun gives without hesitation. Hana turns the knob of the door, pushing the door inwards and takes a step into the apartment. Despite being empty for years, the place appears to still be in order, not a thing out of place but the dust from the apartment being vacant for years clogs her nose. 

 

She uses the sleeve of her suit to cover her nose, finding the light switches on the wall and pulling it down. The house brightens up instantly as Hana and Jungeun walk deeper into the house. Hana’s eyes water; she is close to breaking down from the sudden influx of memories from her childhood. 

 

Remnants of her past drawings decorate the walls: a poorly drawn fish, a house with her and her mother, one of a dog because she wanted one as a child and many more scribblings. Her mother would always tell her how proud she was of her drawings even though they weren’t good at all. 

 

Hana sees the photo frames with pictures of her mother and her lining the cabinet top. She twirls around in a turn, burying her face in Jungeun’s neck, crying as Jungeun rub circles around her back, trying her best to comfort Hana. 

 

“It’s okay, Nana. Cry it out.” 

 

After a series of sniffles, sobs and muffled cries, Hana finally relents, however she clings to Jungeun like a koala on their favourite tree. Jungeun moves her hand down the back of Hana’s head, running her hand through Hana’s hair, repeating the action over and over again as she whispers comforting words into Hana’s ears, swaying side to side with their arms wrapped tightly around each other. 

 

“I’m thinking of selling this place,” Hana whispers hoarsely, her voice all used up and rough from crying.

 

“Are you sure, Hana?” 

 

Jungeun feels Hana’s cheek rubbing against hers which Jungeun takes as a nod on Hana’s half. 

 

“I’m sure. It’s time for me to let go and move on. Mama would want that for me.” 

 

“I’ll support any decision you make, Hana.”  

 

“Thank you, Eunnie. I’m really glad to have you. I would never have been able to make this decision if not for your help.” 

 

Jungeun smiles happily when she hears Hana’s words. She holds up her hand and checks the time on her wristwatch. It is already close to 7 in the evening, the sun has already set and the skies outside the windows are dark. Jungeun pulls away from Hana reluctantly as she sees a slight pout on Hana’s face from the loss of warmth. 

 

“It’s getting late, Hana. Let’s head home first and rest.” 

 

Hana checks the time and agrees with Jungeun’s suggestion. 

 

“I’ll find a listing agent tomorrow, put this house on the market and have it sold as soon as possible,” Hana says, peering around her childhood home, reminiscing about the past. This time, she smiles brightly at the memories she’s made in this house; her attention returns to her fiancée. “Do you mind helping me with the rest, Eunnie?” 

 

“Of course,” Jungeun says. “Let’s come back tomorrow to clean up and pack the things. I’ll call someone to send them to Park Manor after.” 

 

“Sounds like a plan.” Hana grins, holding her hand out towards Jungeun; Jungeun takes Hana’s outstretched hand with joy radiating off her body as the couple make their way out of the apartment, ready for the next step of life. 

 

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casshanlu
I just realise my mistake after reading. I made some minor changes in chapter 3. Sorry, I've been a bit out of it.

Comments

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Forfudgesake
#1
Chapter 20: 2jin!!!
Forfudgesake
#2
Chapter 17: Well damn.
Mama Jeon really is a conniving .
Forfudgesake
#3
Chapter 15: Ngl, I been really anxious of how Lip would react to Hana's "reason" for quite some time now despite their relationship development in recent chapters (to which I also find cute and fluffy!! And I can't wait to see what's in store for them in the future!!) but now that Lip knows, I feel a bit liberated of such and hope that their relationship develops very well in incoming events :-) I think the story is written very well so far so don't sweat it~ and thanks for the update(although I'm a bit late with this comment! ;-}
theblueweirdo
#4
Chapter 14: Can't wait for the next update!! The story is amazing. Looking forward to your stories! Thank you
Minase-kun #5
Great story! Can’t wait to see what happens next! Just take your time in the updates, your mental health is the most important thing.
Yoshi_08 #6
Chapter 14: Welcome back!!!!!! Thank you for the update :)))
Yoshi_08 #7
Chapter 13: Ohhhh Vendetta hehehe ;)) I like this so much, thank you for this story it made my day
dimsumJon
#8
Chapter 12: Looking forward to more updates! It is getting so intense!