A/N: Sorry for making you wait for long. I enjoy watching RV materials these past few days and forget to finish this chapter ha-ha! In return, I make this chapter longer than the usual and will try to update two chapters next week.. Thank you!
PS. The heartache here is real.

= = CHAPTER 15 = =

UNEXPECTED GOODBYEs

When I go out the room and entered the dining area. All the members look at me, Yeri smiles at me brightly, while Joy and Seulgi just look down but gesture me to come in and sit.

I look at the table, but the food doesn’t have any trace of being eaten by the members. I think they wait for me.

“Let’s eat!” Seulgi exclaims.

Without hesitations the maknaes grab foods. The whole breakfast is so awkward. It feels like we are just a new group formed.

The leader notices it so she breaks the silence. “We have all day today, practice will be at 8:00 p.m. tonight it is for our last stage performance tomorrow, so do all you want and be back here before sunset.”

“Yeah!” Yeri shouts out of excitement. “Unnie do you want to come with me? I want you to meet my new friend.” She added while looking at Joy.

“Okay.” Joy answers and divert her attention to Seulgi. “How about you unnie?”

“Me?” Seulgi answered, “I am also going to leave the dorm to check on something.”

They become quiet so I decided to raise my head and my senses is correct they are all looking at me. “I will be the one to guard our dorm. I’ll be staying.” They look at each other and pouted so I talk again. “I know what is on your mind, I will not drink alcohol this time, and we will be having a practice tonight remember?”

“Ah unnie! Do you want to go with us?” Yeri interrupts but there is something on her smile that gives me chills.

“No I am okay here.”

“Are you sure?” Yeri ask again. I just nodded. She grabs Joy hand and says “Let’s go Unnie, let’s prepare and leave early.”

Yeri is really excited. I smile but didn’t notice that Seulgi and I left in the kitchen. I help with the dishes. It was so awkward until she speaks “How are you?”

“I’m good, I think I am.”

She smiles “You don’t look like that way, want to talk about it?”

I remember what Joy said a while ago ‘You still have us unnie, you still have us’. She is right because of the love I felt for Irene I suddenly forget the members, all the struggles and success we share. I suddenly feel that my body automatically hug Seulgi at her back.

“Hmmm? So you really need it?” She says while moving to face me and return my hug. “Wan, I know how much it hurts. Why did you keep it yourself?”

I felt guilt and can tell how much they suffer. “So Joy is right when she says that you guys are also affected on what I feel?”

She smiles “So Joy is the first one who open it up? She looks like that she is not paying attention but deep inside she is so affected, when we are home and you immediately go to your room she did nothing but to look at the door you closes and look down. Sometimes I can see that she wipes some tears on her face but continue as if nothing happen.”

I look at her eyes and can feel the sadness it have. “I’m sorry. How about Yeri? She seems unaffected. Good for her.”

She sit down “What do you mean not affected? If there is someone hurt in what you feel it was Yeri, remember when you say ‘I guess I was a little bit late’ in the party, Yeri was about to confront Irene and tell her how stupid she is on accepting Bogum’s proposal. Yeri also want to pull Irene’s hair, I can feel how angry she is but I stop her, good thing she follows.” She gesture me to sit beside her and continues “She always check your room at night and pick up all the bottles you drink. I saw her one time after she came out at your room she wipes her tears and tell me you are already asleep so she will go to bed too.”

“I didn’t know it? I’m sorry.”

She hugs me and says “No it’s not your fault, we all witness your heartbreak so we can feel it too.”

Heartbreak huh? I move to break our hug, I look at her eyes and say “How about you Seul? Did I unintentionally hurt you too?”

She smiles and kisses my forehead. “I am Wan, I am your leader at the first place at same time I love you remember?”

I am shock on her confession, she is right. We love each other and reach the point on we make love. “This is actually your fault Seul.” The smile on her face is gone and she looks confused. “Ha-ha! Yeah it is your fault Seul, if you not keep on pushing me to her I will not feel this.”

She smiles, I am shocked on what she did. She grabs my waist and pulls my head closer to her to make our lips meet. We are sharing an intimate kiss right now.

I miss this feeling so I passionately kiss her back. And then I realize, Seulgi never makes me cry unlike what Irene did. Seulgi is my first love. She is the first person that makes my heart flutter. “Can I be in your arms again?”

She look at me after I say those words. “Wan, you always have my arms.” Then kisses me again.

When I am with her I feel comfortable and happy. I’m so idiot on not noticing it and blindly inlove with Irene. “I do? How about your heart? Am I still welcome?”

She kisses me longer, making me feel on how she shift kisses on my top and bottom lip, even tasting my tongue and she stops. “I will answer everything tomorrow; can we have a date after our schedule?”

I kiss her lips again but with just a smack and nodded.

“Good, I have to go. I have to check on something remember? See you later at the practice!” She stand up and wave goodbye.

It was an hour before the call time for our rehearsal, I just finish taking a bath and go out the bathroom, with just a towel wrap around my body. I jolted when I see a figure in my bed. It was Yeri. “What are you doing here? Get out!”

“Woah! What a beautiful body you have unnie, no doubt that two person is fighting over it.”

I blushed “What do you mean? Get out, just wait for me outside my room.”

“No I don’t want. I have to ask a question.” She said seriously.

It is the first time that I feel the seriousness of Yeri. What the hell is happening? “Oh? Okay ask the question.” I say while just doing my after bath routine.

“Do you really love Irene unnie?”

I stop on what I am doing and look at her direction “Why? Why did you ask it?” She just smile and wait for my answer. “I don’t know? I think it is complicated?”

“Like what you feel towards Seulgi unnie?”

What? Wait I am confused? Why Yeri suddenly asking me this question? “Ahm, Yes?” 

“Hmmm… if you are going to choose between the two of them who will you choose?” She still look serious. The trace of her bubbly side is gone but it leave me no choice but to answer.

“Seulgi, I want to make up with those wasted time we have.” Then I continue on doing the routine.

I can feel that she stands up and come closer to me. “Don’t use Seulgi unnie’s feelings just to forget Irene. She is not a rebound.” She is right. What am I thinking? “But unnie please keep this on mind. Whoever you choose to love I am always at your side. But just be brave and make her feel how much willing you are to fight till the end.”

It is a bit uncomfortable how the maknae is giving me advice and even more uncomfortable because I am just wearing a towel. “I am not brave enough to do it Yeri.”

She is about to leave my room but stops immediately upon hearing my words. “I know, you are not. Because you don’t clarify to yourself who do you really love.”

“From your point of view, who do you think I love?”

She gives me her warmest smile and I feel comfortable. I think all my questions will be answered. I am waiting for the words she going to say but she just say “Both of them ha-ha!” I throw her a pillow because I am pissed. “Ha-ha calm down unnie. I can’t name it because you yourself is the one can know it, but let me give you a piece of advice, she is the one who you treasures the most, the one who you love the most and the one who gives you a heartache and makes you realize how complicated love is.”

Then she leaves the room. Wow that was deep Yeri. She is known for a carefree social butterfly person, she always smiles in front of camera even in public. But behind it she is still young and affected with the criticism she receives. I didn’t know that the maknae have this kind of side. I will think about those words later but as of now I need to finish what I am doing so that I will not be late for the rehearsal.

Rehearsal is done! Goodbye stage is done! Here I am fixing my things and ready to go home. I miss my bed already.

“Unnie! Seulgi unnie is waiting at the lobby, if you are done meet her there.” Yeri suddenly interrupts my thoughts.

“Omo!” I suddenly remember that we will be having a date tonight.

Joy suddenly speaks “Are you guys dating?”

I look at Joy, but she is still cold towards me. “Are you still mad at me?”

“No I’m not. You just look so pathetic and I hate it. I miss the bubbly and lovable Wendy.” She says while pouting.

I smile almost teary eye. I rush to her and hug her “Lovable? Like this?” then I kiss her on the cheeks. “How about this one?”

Yeri laughs hard and gets jealous, “Unnie me too I miss your hugs and kisses!” I don’t know how this two fit in my short arms but I kiss and hug them alternately.

The room is filled with laughter until the room doors open. “So this is the reason why my date is late? You guys are trying to steal my love? And for you Wan! We are not yet in relationship but you are already cheating on me?”

We look at her but we laugh immediately, she doesn’t look serious and we all saw how happy she is. “Come here Seul, I know you miss this too.”

And we share the sweetest hug ever.

My smile is intact in my face. I look crazy but this is the first time after the heartbreak. They are right the members are still there. Seulgi is still besides me and infact literally because she is driving now, going to the place where our date takes place.

“Are you happy Wan?”

I look at her “Yes I am. Aren’t you?”

She keeps her eye on the road and reply “I am, and I will be even happier later.”

“Why? Are we going to be official?” and hold her hand.

But she breaks it immediately and says “I am driving. Official? Let’s see.”

After that sentence it became awkward and makes me feel uncomfortable. She slowly park the car and help me to get out of it. I look at the area it was a small park or even a garden because it was full of plants and trees. She holds my hand and guides me inside.

“Where are we? It was so dark here, how can we eat here?” I am puzzled.

She just smiles and snaps her finger then all the lights went on. The garden is full of yellow Christmas light, and the mini pavilion where a table and 2 chairs are set beautifully. It was my dream date actually. I remember telling it years ago, when she ask me about it. “Do you remember it?” 

“Yes, everything! I know you are already hungry so let’s eat first?”

She holds my hand and guides me inside the pavilion, her hand is so cold so I say “Are you that nervous? Your hand is so cold.”

She gives me her bearlike smile. “I am.” She helps me sit in the chair like a gentleman and she follows. She pours me the wine and open the thing that is use to cover the food. “Do you like it? It is all your favorite Wan.”

It is indeed. All the foods are my entire favorite, as expected of Seulgi who knows my favorites. I start to eat it and I like it, at the middle of our dinner I say “I like the food, but I think…” she looks at me and I continue “… I love you more. If this is the way you are going to ask anyone to become your girlfriend, I’m sure no one will turn you down.” And give her my full smile.

She sighs and holds my hand. Why she is not looks happy? I am analyzing every gesture she is showing and I am confused. Is she not here to propose but what is this effort all about?

She continues to eat so do I. It was so silent and suddenly becomes awkward. I want to start another conversation but I just focuses on eating. Until…

She moves her chair closer to me and hugs me. “I’m sorry Wan.”

“Why?” I am confused.

“I don’t deserve to become your leader, did I make your life harder?” She says while pressing my hands tightly.

Wait I am confused on what she is saying. “No you are not? Why did you ask it?

“No I am a bad leader to you. As a matter of fact I am a selfish one.” She added.

And it also added to my confusion. “Ah yes! You make my life harder. If you want to tell me something tell it to me directly, don’t use too much words.”

She smiles. “Are you happy on what we did earlier with the members?”

“What is it? The hugs and kisses?” I elaborate.

“Yes! That one, the bonding we have, the struggles and success we share together?” She added.

“Yeah, I suddenly remember all those times. Why?” I got even more confused. “Can you tell what you want now?”

She get even closer, hug me in the back and look up the sky. “Me too. Those smiles and tears we share. It was one of a kind. We all have common goal, stay as friends forever for us to be one of Korea’s top girl group.”

I nodded. “Yes, to be a top girl group while helping and inspiring our fans and other people.”

“So you remember” She tightens our back hug “TO STAY FRIENDS FOREVER? Seungwan. I love you but I value our friendships more.”

I look straight and feel shock on the words she told me. “Friends? Wait