SIDE A:ACCIDENTALLY YOURS

"Yuri I'm home."

 

It was oddly quiet inside the house that day. The lights weren't on, there's no rustling sounds in the kitchen and Hani's being needy for affection. She bends down and gives the Pomeranian a kiss and a belly rub, she looks around the house for the idol. Later on she finds Yuri inside the baby's room, (which was Jessica's old room) sitting on the bean bags and lost in her thoughts. She was all smiles when she saw her and was about to launch a cute surprise but then something about Yuri's aura made everything weird about the atmosphere.

 

"Hey." She lightly taps on Yuri's shoulder. "What's up you seem lost."

"I am." Yuri was looking down, still unable to look at the brunette.

"What's wrong?"

"A lot."

That was slowly making Jessica nervous. "Yuri, tell me- what's bothering you?"

"I don't know you tell me." The idol looks up and meets with Jessica's orbs. "When were you going to tell me?"

"About what?" The confusion in her voice made Yuri scoff and shake her head. "I'm serious Yuri, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh so you have no idea about this?" She presses the button on her phone.

 

"You did your end of the bargain and now I'm going to return the favor."

"But-"

"Miss Jung, we had a deal. If you get to make Yuri believe in love again, I will help Tiffany sort things out with her studies and I'm going to donate five million won to your parents' business."

 

"W-w-how..." She was completely in disbelief right now. "Yuri, before you get mad let me-"

"Before you get mad? Don't you think it's a little too late for that?"

"J-j-just let me explain."

"How are you even going to explain this? Should I really give you a chance to fool me again?"

"No I'm not fooling you I-"

"THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?" Jessica tries to reach out and calm her down but she pulls away, standing a few feet away from the brunette. "Don't touch me!"

"Yuri-"

"Don't you ever touch me." She lowly hisses.

"Let me explain okay?" She was close to breakdown. "All I need is a chance."

Yuri sighs as she places her hands on either side of her hips. "I'm going to let you explain. But this doesn't guarantee everything."

Jessica's felt relieved knowing that she still had a chance to make things right. "After we got home from Prague, Taeyeon asked me where were we standing and I told her that we were civilized and that we were okay. She told me about the offer and I immediately refused despite the fact that she offered to help Tiffany financially and my parents in the same manner but-" She bites her lower lip. "I saw th bills piling up for Tiffany and she talked about she was having a crisis on saving up for her master's and I've always wanted to give back to mom and dad-"

"So you play with other people's feelings in exchange for that?"

"No!" She widens her eyes in defense. "Yuri, that's the thing- I never played with your feelings. Not when I feel the same way before this whole thing blowed right before our faces."

Now the idol was confused. "What do you mean by that?"

"Before we met, I was already a fan of your band specifically you. I first saw a video of you performing live and I don't know I was just drawn to you. I've always had this huge crush on you and I had always admired you even from afar."

 

"I just love your story you know? Jessica has always been a fan girl of you and then somehow, magically you two meet and she actually ended up seeing you up close instead from a poster or a billboard."

"Yeah, she knows all of your songs. She's definitely a keeper."

 

 

Jessica's explanation was starting to make sense, but the pain in her heart hinders her to understand where Jessica is coming from. "And you expect me to believe that? After what you hid from me?"

"Yes. Because I can never fake the way I am with you..." She trails off, voice was so pleading and desperate. "What I felt for you- what I'm feeling for you right now is real. One hundred percent real Yul can't you see? I can never hurt you like that."

She looks away, her walls were starting to build up again. "You just lead me on and let me assume that what we have is real."

"Because it is real Yuri, all the good and the bad things happened between us, it is real... Yuri I lo-"

"STOP!" She screams at the top of her lungs, surprising the both of them. "I've had enough of your lies."

"But I'm not lying." The tears were freely falling from her eyes as her lips starts to quiver. "You have to believe in me."

"Leave." She backs away and she tries to plaster the anger in her eyes. "I don't want you here any longer."

Jessica immediately shakes her head. "No, I can't leave you. Not like this."

"Leave Jessica!" She continues to shake her head which made the idol grab her harshly by the arm, dragging her all the way to the main door, pushing her away further from her. "The only thing that's keeping me to snap at you is the fact that you are still carrying my son. So before I forget that, leave. Before I do something I might regret later on."

"No I can-"

"LEAVE JESSICA PLEASE!"

 

And the last thing she saw before slamming the door shut was Jessica's face tears scattered all over her face. With her back against the wall, Yuri finally unleashed the tears that she was trying so hard to hide. She covers her face as she continues to sob uncontrollably feeling herself break slowly. Just as when she thought that breaking up with Juran was already painful- having her heart be broken by Jessica Jung was worse.

But she wouldn't let this bring her down. She needed to release all of this anger and betrayal that she feels and she knows where and who can she unleash all of this feeling.

 

"KIM TAEYEON!" She barges in Taeyeon's office where she sees the latter enjoying a stick of cigarette.

"Ah hi Yul to what do I-" The idol punches her hard, throwing both the stick and her friend a few steps back. "What was that for!?"

"You ing prick."

"Hey! Hold up what's with the aggressiveness huh?" Another punch successfully lands on Taeyeon's nose. "!"

"You destroyed everything!" She accuses the smaller woman. "How could you do this to me!?"

Then it slowly starts to make sense in Taeyeon's mind. "Okay, first- I need you to calm down and listen to-"

"No, you listen." She points her index finger at the latter. "I can't believe you went that low just to toy with me. I thought you were my friend!"

"And I am your friend! I was just looking out for you!"

"Looking out?" The idol couldn't believe what was happening right now. "Hiring some bimbo to play with my feelings was your way of saying you were looking out for me?"

"I just wanted to help."

"Help me make a bigger fool out of myself by letting me believe that someone can love me despite of how a head I am? Is that it?"

"But she does love you Yuri why can't you see that? She didn't even agree with my first agreement because she thought it was wrong!"

"So money makes everything right huh?"

"Yul-"

"You're wrong. Jessica doesn't love me because you don't up the people you love!" She was already breathing and spitting fire everywhere. "If she did love me, she would've considered how much I value trust and honesty, how I hate being lied to, how I feel about betrayal. So Jessica Jung, and you Kim Taeyeon." She returns her famous glare at the CEO. "Whatever kind of relationship we have in the past- you ing threw it out in the window. I only have minimal respect towards you and that's because you're still my boss but other than that? you Kim Taeyeon."

"Jessica?" Tiffany was surprised to see Jessica here in her apartment, especially seeing her being so miserable. "Come inside."

 

She ushers the latter to the couch and grabs a glass of water. She tries to calm down the brunette tapping her slightly on the shoulder and offers her to take a sip which the latter dismisses immediately, tears non-stop falling. Tiffany, being the best friend that she always is, patiently waits for the latter to calm down on her own before asking what's the matter.

 

"Tiff... I messed up."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I've done something so terrible." She continues to sob. "And now- I've ruined everything."

Tiffany was confused with what her best friend was trying to say. "Jessica, you need to tell me what's going on. Keeping it to yourself won't help you or your baby and you don't need stress, especially ooi is about to come out."

 

And so Jessica listens to her and tells her everything not leaving any detail behind. From Taeyeon's offer to everything that has happened between her and Yuri. She tells every situation, every pain, every tear, every fight... every joy, every laughter and every almost. On Tiffany's side, it couldn't hurt more watching one of the people you care about break apart right before your very eyes. She starts to feel guilty and be teary as well, but Jessica knew better that she can't blame it to anyone else but her. This mistake was hers and hers alone.

 

"Oh Jessica..." She says after the confession and the brunette could definitely hear the mixture of guilt and disappointment within the latter's voice. "You- you shouldn't have done that."

"Back then I thought I was doing the right thing." She admits. "I thought that maybe, if Yuri will believe in love again, she will be able to let go of the pain from the past. And I was just doing it to help you, my parents and even herself- to help her start a new life. But as the days went by, the more time I spend with her, all the more that I was starting to realize that that I wanted it to be me... If ever she wants to start her life again, I want her new life to include me. I want to be in her life Tiff..."

"I was blinded by the fact that I was hurting her more as the days went by... It was slowly eating me alive because I know she was starting to catch some feelings and trust me I want her to stop falling for me. I tried so hard which is why when she told me mean things- I told myself that maybe pushing her away was the best but-"

"But you love her. You want her to stop falling for you at the same sime you don't want her to stop too." Tiffany says. "She was bound to fall in love with you Jes, we all knew that. When it comes to love, we find ourselves being similar as the raindrops' situation. When raindrop falls from the sky, some fall on the concrete, some fall on the roof, some fall on the grass and some on the leaves." Jessica tilts her head to the side, asking for an elaboration. "The point is, just like raindrops who can't choose where to land, we can't choose the people we fall for. It just... Happens."

"I love her so so so much..." She says with much desperation. "I don't want to lose her."

"But what you did to her was very painful, you can't force yourself if she doesn't want to see you."

"Then tell me, what should I do?"

"You just have to let her think about this entire thing."

"But what if she realizes I'm not worth the second chance? What if she finalizes that I am not the one for her? What if she doesn't forgive me?"

Tiffany was also unsure of what to say. "I also said this to Yuri when she was asking me what to do when you were angry with her." She says. "Give her time Jes, you need to accept that it's what Yuri needs the most as of the moment."

 

They say time heals all wounds.

But in Jessica's case, she wasn't sure if that statement applied to her. As the days went by, she feels worse than before. She starts to have nightmares, and not hearing from her wife after days since the last encounter made her start to worry what will be the future of them. She couldn't do anything without remembering her mistake, and every time she does, it makes her want to break down and cry.

If not for her baby, she wouldn't want to eat anything. She tries to follow Tiffany's advice and give Yuri all the time that she needs but with each passing day, she feels like her chance of getting Yuri back was getting slimmer. And that honestly scares her.

 

"Jes? It's dinner time."

"I don't want to eat."

"We both know that you can't do that. You heard the doctor; you have a child with you."

"How much time will I have to give her? How many days will it take before we can talk properly?"

"You know her better than anyone else." SHe says. "Try to be patient with her."

"I only want to talk to her for a few minutes. A few minutes is all I need."

"Okay, let's say that you will try now." She sits down and helps Jessica weigh the pros and cons. "If you talk to her now, you will be rejected. And if you keep on insisting, you will be rejected multiple times and that will hurt you more than you can imagine and that can affect ooi. There are no pros in this case Jes, you will just have to-"

"But I have to try Tiff, I have to show her that I love her. Waiting for her to come around is not helping either of us."

She looks at Jessica and sighs to herself. "Then you need to eat a lot if you're going to battle tomorrow."

"Again."

"What?"

"Are you serious?"

Yuri turns to her bandmates with a dead expression. "Does it look like I'm joking?"

"But I have a dinner with Sunny's family Yul, you know it's important for me."

"Well you need to choose, which one is your priority? This band or that relationship of yours that's going to break up soon?"

"Sheesh dude no need to be a ing about it."

"Then don't bring you whining here at practice Sooyoung."

"What the ? Are you really trying to start a fight right now?"

"Well bring it on then it's not like I can't beat you down."

"Oh hell it's-"

"I think we need a fifteen minute break." Hyoyeon steps in between the two of them. "You two need a breather."

"Hyo, kindly tell your best friend that just because she's having a hard time, doesn't mean everyone else needs to go through the same thing. Because there's some of us- who actually enjoys life and the feeling of having someone love you. And she could do the same if she just opens her eyes to the truth." She removes her bass and leaves the practice room.

Hyoyeon sighs and turns to the other member. "Yuri, that was totally uncalled for."

"You're not the leader of this band Hyo. I am, so you should listen to me."

"A leader also needs to listen."

"Well I'm pretty sure that Taeyeon's a great leader huh." She sarcastically says. "Since all of you listened to her when she told you guys to shut up about her deal with Jessica right?" Hyoyeon turns away in guilt. "Oh what happened? Cat caught your tongue there buddy?"

"I sincerely apologize for that one, Yuri I for one told Taeyeon not to push things through her plann because I know it would end up like this."

"Oh so now what? I'm just suppose to magically forgive you is that what you want? Let bygones be bygones?"

"I'm not expecting for you to forgive me or anyone of us that quick b-"

"Then stop forcing things on me. Whether it's Taeyeon looking out for me, Jessica loving me or you guys wanting me to become the same old Yuri doesn't automatically give you the right to play with my feelings. You need to shut up because you don't know what I am going through."

"Yes I do."

"No you don't. You married the girl you love and loves you Hyo, how can you tell me that you understand me?" She says. "And if you did, you would've told me that Jessica was playing with my heart all along."

"She wasn't playing with your heart Yuri, she honestly loves you."

"I'm not going to listen to anymore bull. I'm out of here."

 

And Hyoyeon knew where exactly she was going. She was going to the 14th floor of an apartment penthouse suite, owned by none other than Juran Kim.

For days, Yuri has been visitng her secretly to avoid another scandal. She has found comfort in the arms of the woman who used to be hers, the second person who knows her best and she desperately needs someone who's just going to be there and not judge her for being blind because it was an obvious fact that Jessica is hopelessly in love with her. Someone who could understand where she's coming from, someone who is just there. And for Yuri, Juran is the perfect go-to person right now without knowing that's what Juran exactly plans to happen.

While Juran was rejoicing that her plan was a success, Yuri was there with her still feeling empty despite having the company of a woman who she believed that she couldn't live without. Sometimes she finds herself looking at the latter, wondering what would've happened if they stayed together all these years. Then there were times where she would compare her imaginary married life with Juran and her married life with Jessica.

If she was married to Juran, she would've stayed in a mansion or even an estate. She would've flied across the world multiple times and not having a care in the world. She would wake up in a different city everyday and they would have Hani and another pet as their children before Juran decides to take a break from her model career and build a family with her. There will no forced marriages or honeymoon, no insults spitting, no seminars, check ups or mood swings.

It would've been anyone's dream married life. But if she were married to Juran, there will no home cooked meals, the garden will not be trimmed and the house will be a useless investment, she would be away from her family or crazy spontaneity. She wouldn't learn to love the Western culture, to understand herself better. She wouldn't be able to love the beach and value the little things more than the bigger ones. Most especially, if she was married to Juran- there will be no ooi on the way and Yuri can't imagine a life without an ooi.

And Juran knows that Yuri's heart was not completely hers. She knows that somehow, Jessica has occupied a huge space of Yuri's mind and heart that can't be erased that quick. She knew that was a fact because the day that Yuri came crying to her, all the idol shared was that Jessica did something unforgivable and not the entire truth.

Which is why she's been trying to hard to be domestic as possible for Yuri to realize that she doesn't need a Jessica Jung in her life, that all Kwon Yuri needs is a Juran Kim and everything will be okay again, just like how they used to be.

 

"Yuri, can you please stop playing with the food? I'm starting to think you don't like my cooking."

"Sorry mom, I wasn't trying to offend you."

Juran looks at the latter. "I'm not scolding you because I'm trying to be your mother." She places her hand on top of Yuri's. "I'm scolding you because I know you haven't eaten in hours and I'm here because I sincerely care about you."

"T-thanks." She awkwardly says before removing her hand making Juran sigh.

"Yuri, why are you still with Jessica?" Yuri remains silent at the question. "You told me that she has done something unforgivable, shouldn't you already start to process the divorce papers?"

"It's not that easy."

"Is it because you have a kid on the way?"

"It's not just because of the kid." She continues to play with the food. "You wouldn't understand."

"So talk to me. I'll try-"

"Even if you try you will not understand okay? A person like you who chooses her career over everything can't understand what I am going through."

Somehow, that comment pained Juran. "Oh and Jessica can?"

"Stop bringing her in this conversation."

"No, you can't just tell me not to bring her up because it's clear as daylight that you're telling me she understands you better than I can."

Yuri massages her temples and exhales out. "I'm not putting it that way."

"Oh but you are. We had a longer relationship Yuri, we had known each other earlier and I certainly have spoiled you more than she has. I mean, what does she spoil you with anyway? A girl with nothing but a dream can't possibly give you everything you want. She's a nobody, a scam and a two-face who-" 

Yuri slams her fist on the table causing a ruckus on the table. Glasses broke and water spilled, the utensils made a huge noise along with the slam, disarranging their place in the setting, peas were rolling on the ground and the gravy spilled. Juran jumps in surprised and when she looked back at Yuri, she knows that she had crossed a line.

 

"What did I tell you last ti