You were not at your best the next day for the tournament. And you weren’t the only one as Doona had a killer hangover but she had made it there and was mostly on the bench. But then again she wasn’t the only one. As it turned out, most of your teammates were hungover save a few since the rest of the team had gone drinking like they said they would. In fact, two players were missing and you overheard one of them explain to Jimri those two had drunk the most. But your team was still large enough to accommodate for their absence. Unfortunately, that also meant you had to play more. And it was terrible.

You were so out of it as you hadn’t got that much sleep both because of your fear of the promising hangover but also because of your thoughts. And memories. Another reason why you avoided alcohol. It made you too sentimental.

So you did what you were prone to do. You put those feelings into your playing even if you were sluggish and sloppy, you still made a decent amount of blocks and saves. Thankfully, Jimri was in top form and carried your team through a few wins. And you both shared a laugh when you missed an easy block.

“You have a nice smile,” the guy opposite you on the other side of the net commented. It was enough for you to drop your smile but making him chuckle. “You really should do more of it.”

You were thankful it was your turn to serve so you wouldn’t have to deal with him. There had been too many comments from strangers about your playing or appearance today. Jimri was often by your side when guys approached you and she explained it was probably because today was the last day of the tournament and they probably wanted to ask you out before you were gone from their lives.

You still didn’t like it as you gave a pointed spike serve at the guy who tried to talk you up during a match. Those were the players you hated the most. Volleyball players, that is. Not players as in jerks. You had run into quite a few players like that in many of your games and it was so satisfying to put them in their place after a win. You were planning to do just that.

And your team lost. So you didn’t have a chance to do that as much as you wanted to. And the jerk had the nerve to come up to you afterwards to ‘console’ you.

The team hadn’t placed in the top three so you guys didn’t win a prize but you still felt loads better after playing. You made sure to throw away whatever piece of paper you received from the guys who passed it to you by disposing of them the changing room. So they were none the wiser as you only gave nods to your teammates whose names you still hadn’t learned. But Doona was quick to steal a hug from you. And the hug you gave Jimri showed her your gratitude before you left her at the front of the building.

So with such a weekend, you were ready to tackle more classes and assignments with a gusto you lacked for so long. And it really helped you get through the week. When the weekend was once again upon you, you turned down Nunji’s offer once more. As much as you thought about home and Mieun, you still had to put school first. And thanks to your weekend off with the volleyball tournament, you had to compensate that time with more studying.

But first you had to get groceries because your refrigerator was looking bare. You often preferred going to markets because that was where the deals and quality food were but nothing was more convenient than the store just down the block.

You knew you could take a little at a time since you had to walk back to your apartment so you didn’t put much in your cart, only the things that will last you for days. At check out, you paid and were on your way when you saw a newspaper title jump out at you. And there was a picture. He was still out there making a name for himself in the soccer world. Just like he said he would.

Good for him, you thought as you walked on. He could do whatever he wanted because you decided to put it all behind you. The thing was, that it wouldn’t stay behind you. Instead, it crept up on you time to time because in the end, you missed…

It would be better to leave it.

Feeling gloomy, you walked to your apartment weighed down by more than the bags you carried. The stupid alcohol must still be in your system. You tried to convince yourself of that but it didn’t work.

You dove back into your assignments making the decision to go home next weekend so you wouldn’t be alone with your thoughts. After all, Mieun’s birthday was on the horizon. Well, it was still two months away but Nunji was already planning everything to the napkins. It was just like her wedding but scarier. You hadn’t thought that possible, but she was almost about her daughter’s birthdays. The first birthday was the most hectic so far since it was a major milestone and all but that didn’t mean Nunji had to force you to make the cake. And that was another thing you were trying to forget but it had been an experience that made it hard to do that.

It would do you good to see your niece again because you adored her so much she ate up your time like nothing. Not that you were using her as a distraction, but you still needed your Mieun time to survive.

Hopefully Nunji and Hwangin weren’t planning on going somewhere this coming weekend. Besides, even if they were, you wouldn’t mind some time with just you and your mother. You missed her just as much as you missed Mieun.

You put all of your groceries away as your thoughts continued to consume you. For all the time you thought you would enjoy being by yourself, you had forgotten how your family kept you sane. It was on the danger side when you thought too much and it was only these times when he was more prevalent in your thoughts that you realized and missed the balance of interactions your family provided.

Lunch was your next meal and you left out a few ingredients out to make a simple meal. It was a nice meal too but you missed the way Mieun would always clamor into your lap for a bite of whatever you were eating. She much prepared her seat in your lap than her booster seat when at your mom’s table. She sure liked to follow you around but your family set the limits in the kitchen and bathroom because your sister sure was paranoid, I mean, protective.

Anyway, you were a decent cook if you say so yourself. Your mom and Nunji didn’t leave you to starve on abysmal cooking especially considering Nunji’s fragile palate. In other words, she was picky. Even more than her daughter which said a lot considering their ages. She was just really lucky Hwangin didn’t mind eating whatever she left behind.

Now that your decision was final, you were looking forward to going home now. The anticipation continued to build all throughout the week as you did your best to get the homework and assignments out of the way so you wouldn’t have to be stuck to a book or laptop during your Mieun time.

When the day arrived for Nunji to pick you up, you were packed and ready to go. It felt like Nunji was taking her time getting there but you knew that was your impatience taking over. So when she did arrive, you tossed the suitcase in the trunk with a quick motion and slammed it shut.

“Hey! Don’t you dare dent my car! It’s older than you so show a little respect!” Nunji rolled down the window to shout.

Not wanting to provoke her, because she would admonish you the whole way back, you gave a curt nod and for effect, patted the back of the trunk in her eyesight. She gave you a responding nod before jerking her head to the passenger side. “Get in, you big baby.”

You kept your face wiped of any emotions as you did as you were ordered. When you had your seat belt clicked in, she was off. You were a bit disappointed she hadn’t brought Mieun with her to pick you up but you knew that the little girl would be waiting you both at your mother’s door. You just had to deal with whatever Nunji wanted to talk to you about.

“So.” She joined the line of cars waiting to get on the freeway. “I saw a cute story about a shop owner in the paper the other day, did you?”

There it was. You thought about the newspaper you saw at the super market. Finding it less troublesome to give a response, you nodded.

“Did you? So tell me what the story was about then.” She demanded but it wasn’t about the story she mentioned. She just wanted to know how you felt about it.

“I didn’t read it.” She gave you a look of disbelief. “I only saw it.”

Her attention returned to the road to honk at a car that just cut in in front of you. “Stupid driver.” She snapped. “Next time, you’re taking the bus home, Mimi.”

You rolled your eyes because that was something she never failed to gripe about. And she was always offering to pick you up at the end of the week. Threats like that didn’t faze you as much as they may have because she babied you even more than you thought was possible since you moved out of the house.

Which was something she and Hwangin were also planning on doing, moving out of your mom’s house, now that Hwangin got a steady enough job outside of working on his thesis. But Nunji had been putting that off for years. Before it had been because Hwangin was in the army, but now it had to do with leaving your mom in the house by herself. You suspected Nunji was putting it off until you were done with college and you would move back home.

It was one of the reasons Nunji had been against you moving into your apartment though she had whined that she never got her own apartment when she was in college. She had still been the one to take you shopping to decorate the apartment. Because of that she took the reins in the process, not that you were complaining. For all that you complain, your sister had decent taste in interior decorating. Not that you would ever tell her so.

“I read it. The article.” She pulled onto the freeway which was free of the normal rush hour traffic since it wasn’t the end of the work day yet. You took the option in staring out of the car at other drivers so she wouldn’t catch any of your emotions about the present topic. “It was just a bunch of bologna about the stupid but cute shop owner and how business was going. But there wasn’t much about the shop owner. Just about the shop and future plans for the business.”

You sighed. “Okay.”

“Hey! Don’t take this the wrong way. I’m just trying to give you a look into the current state of our country’s economy. Nothing else.” You scoffed and she heard it. “Now, baby sister. I would think you would take the initiative to find that information for yourself instead of ignoring it. Who know? It might catch your interest.” The glare you sent her did nothing as she deflected it. “And that shop owner said a nice trip home would be a good way to recharge before an upcoming business meeting to expand the shop and so forth. Buyers are interested. International and otherwise.”

“I don’t care.” You enunciated each word perfectly. Your dad would be proud of how clear your voice was.

She gave you a sidelong glance before returning her attention to the road once more. It seemed you guys were making good time in getting home. It wouldn’t be long before you were free of this stupid conversation.

“How about it sister?” her tone was completely different. You were immediately suspicious. “Why don’t we just stay home all weekend? You know? Our sister bonding time we have so carelessly cast away. Hwangin can take Mieun to see his side of the family and mom might have to go to a reunion or something. I wasn’t really paying attention to what she was saying because Mieun was drawing the cutest picture! She’s definitely going to be an artist or something when she gets old-no never mind. Mieun is going to remain the same age she is. She’s never going to get older!”

You let her ramble on and on for the rest of the drive home while clinging onto the image of Mieun waiting for you because you didn’t want to think about what Nunji just let slip.

He was going to be home too.