N sighs, “If it bothers you that much, then just do it.” He crosses his arms. “That is, if you’re man enough.”

Leo’s eyebrows go up at the challenge. Slowly, he turns around to where he could meet his oldest friend’s stimulating gaze. “Hm?”

“I mean,” N gestures to their surroundings. “You might as well right? Why don’t you ask Hyunwoo too if you have to? Even so young, Hyunwoo knows enough about girls doesn’t he?”

Leo glares at him just as Hyunwoo turns into the aisle both his uncle and his uncle’s friend were standing toe to toe. “Uncle? I want this one.” Hyunwoo lifts up the toy tractor as much as his wobbly arms could do under the weight of the toy. “It will go with my other cars.”

Leo glances down at him and nods. Hyunwoo cheers before showing N his chosen reward for doing a good job in school. With his nephew’s attention elsewhere, Leo turns back to the display in front of him. He had to make up his mind right now while he was in a toy store with his nephew as a good excuse. N was here too and he could take Leo’s purchase to the party and…

Hyunwoo is soon taking N somewhere which was surely the result of N’s urging no doubt in order to give Leo some more room to make a decision. Leo both resents him for it and is entirely grateful.

Leo sighs as he thinks of the ramification of his choice. If he didn’t buy a gift, then she would notice, wouldn’t she? Would she wonder why he didn’t buy a gift especially when she let him know when Mieun’s party is? He tried to ignore that she was really directing her words to N and Ken at the time but still. Would she be thankful? Or would she be mad that he had the audacity to assume familiarity of that level? Especially when it concerned Mieun?

He tried to think if it was Hyunwoo. Would he be mad if she sent a gift? Leo shook his head as the answer was immediate. He definitely wouldn’t. The very thought, in fact, had him feeling nervous and the slightest bit giddy even if his nephew’s birthday had already been celebrated this year. But he was well aware of what he felt on his side for her based on any hypothetical situation. It was the mystery of what she thought of him that had him hesitating. Was it presumptuous to get Mieun a birthday gift from him? Or not?

He groaned and instantaneously wished he hadn’t let out his frustration. The worker who had been lingering well within earshot made her appearance around the corner of the aisle. “Anything wrong, sir?”

Without a look in her direction, he shook his head all the while glaring at the offending toys in front of him.

Not yet cowed by his response, she edged closer. “Are you sure? I can be of some help should you have any problems or questions about any of our toys.” She sounded as if she were begging him to say yes.

Leo frowned and shook his head again. “No thank you.”

But still, the girl loitered as if to straighten out a few toys on display well within eyesight and earshot.

Leo ignored her. The dilemma was still playing circles in his head. Every second, the Mikyung in his mind’s expression changed in whichever situation he thought of. His favorite was definitely the wistful one while the one that actually hurt was the one of disgust. To recover, his mind conjured positive reactions until his fantasy led to the one that would only come about in such a realm; Mikyung kissing him in thanks.

Taekwoon could feel his cheeks burning at such a scarce but unbelievable possibility. He knew he was blushing especially taking into account the way she looked these days in his mind’s eye. But still, she would never do that now. The keyword being now. She had definitely kissed him after Mieun’s first birthday party to show her appreciation for both his present and his assistance in getting the party to coast smoothly.

Taekwoon shook his head again to clear his thoughts. He had to focus. The situation presently demanded it.

“Sir?”

Leo didn’t hear her.

N and Hyunwoo found him in the same position as they left him a few moments later alone in the aisle. N’s sharp eyes immediately detected the slip of paper that was on the shelf of toys near his friend’s statue-like figure. That was most definitely not there before he left with Hyunwoo. Walking over, he took the paper in his hands and when he didn’t get any response N looked down at the hastily scrawled number. He immediately thought of the worker who had been eyeing his friend as soon as he stepped inside the store.

N waved the piece of temptation in the air under Leo’s nose. “You want it?”

Leo shoved his friend’s arm away from his face with a look of concentration still prevalent. He hadn’t removed his eyes from the shelf in front of him.

N shrugged and pocketed the paper but before he could fully conceal the note, Hyunwoo snatched it away from him. N looked down at the young boy in shock and those few seconds was enough for Hyunwoo to unfold the piece of paper with his prized toy at his feet.

“Uncle, look! I can read these numbers too!” N tried to retake the paper fearing the worst but Hyunwoo proved to be Leo’s nephew and dodged him with nimble feet. “010-,” he stopped to laugh as he did a smart dodge as the weight of N’s huge frame threw him off balance and he stumbled further down the aisle.

“Wait! Hyunwoo!”

“What is going on here?” the same saleslady made her reappearance. N smiled apologetically at her.

In the middle of the aisle by his uncle’s frozen figure, Hyunwoo laughed, “We found this paper with a bunch of numbers on it! Uncle didn’t want it and-,” he was cut off as N clasped his hand over his mouth.

“Heh hehe,” N awkwardly laughed while still trying to snatch the paper away from Hyunwoo who was now struggling spectacularly to free himself. “We’re fine, miss.”

Hyunwoo’s laughter died down as he recognized the look of hurt flashing across the woman’s face. N was thankful Hyunwoo had calmed down and reclaimed the paper that was instantly torn into two with the larger piece in Hyunwoo’s small hands.

The silence that followed was almost excruciating. That was when Leo’s back straightened and he grabbed the toy he had been staring at for a good ten minutes straight. Without a glance or with any real comprehension of the atmosphere in that aisle, he started walking away. “Hyunwoo, let’s go pay for your toy.”

At his name being called, Hyunwoo pulled away from N’s remaining weak grasp. “Coming uncle!” he leaned down and hefted his chosen toy while the paper fell from his hand with this action. His grip on the toy was shaky and he leaned the toy against the shelf where he quickly wiped his hands on his jacket and the last piece of torn paper fell from his hand. “Come on, Uncle N!” he shouted behind him with his toy firmly in his hands. Like his uncle, Hyunwoo didn’t look back.

At his noisy departure, N was left with the saleswoman. His heart really does go out for the brave woman. This was one of the few times N did not see the bright side of a situation except to offer some kind of apology, “What would I have to buy to get your commission for the week?” Never mind the fact that he had already bought Mieun’s present.

~~~~~

Leo was on the team bus. He was up front behind the coaches as seniority designated him to be. He didn’t care about that so long as he was left alone and at least had a window seat. His teammates were rowdy as always but when they were within the city limits of their next match that’s when they started settling down and getting into their playing mind frame. But until then, Leo was left to deal with many accounts of drinking parties, club trips, etc.

He honestly didn’t mind this. If anything it was the grown up version of his high school team’s trips to away games but back then it was much tamer. Just replace clubs with PC rooms and drinking parties with binge watching though the latter was definitely something that still happened even with a few of his current teammates. Leo was a master of tuning out such useless information.

At times, when Leo was feeling a bit more sensitive from say a bad practice or a lingering pain in his knee, then that was when he would pull out his headphones to drown it all out. That wasn’t the case now and so the droning and random roars of laughter was at full volume for him. It’s just as the city is coming into view that the talks turn to women. And of course, Leo thinks of only one.

That’s when they catch him being inattentive and that’s the start of the heckling.

Leo knows how to handle them at this point. He lets them get all the taunts and mocking words out of their systems and gives them pointless words he doesn’t really mean. That’s when the older members stop things before it gets to hazing. With Leo gaining popularity as the potential rookie of the season, there were a few egos that didn’t like the attention diverging from them. Leo could understand that to a certain point but that would not mean he would throw away something he’s worked so hard for.

If anything, other teammates and his team managers were basking in the attention he was bringing to the team. It had been years since the team had such a breakout rookie. And so, that led to a few of them ‘babying’ him as the disgruntled players called it. Leo had to prove himself to so many people already and adding such players to the list wasn’t all that bad even if they were his teammates. So long as they didn’t deliberately sabotage a winning game then Leo would deal with it.

None of them truly knows him. Not like he really tried to open up to them either and that was on him.

Leo really didn’t know what it was that had made him such a reserved person. He liked to think that it was entirely self-inflicted but he wasn’t a hundred percent sure. He knew that such a thing was not a positive way of being social or very helpful but it is what it is. There were plenty of people who had their quirks and this is just what made him him. In his life until now, there haven’t been many people that fully accepted him for being this way and that included past and present teammates and coaches. He has since conditioned himself to being as communicative as possible for them on the field but anything beyond that of the sport…let’s just say that Leo has his way of doing things. He’s very blessed to be so gifted at the sport that such talents spoke for itself and got such issues off of his case. That’s not to disregard the incidents that his silence and anti-social sentiments produced by the ones that were sensitive to his absolute lack of verboseness.

For Leo, it is fairly easy to separate some aspects of his life from one another while on the other hand, the case is also impossible regarding certain facets. Leo treasures that his friends fit in all categories of his life save for his love life to an extent. It’s only that Leo fears his love for the sport and his…feelings for Mikyung may be his utter undoing. Sure, the other parts of Leo’s life aside from the two made up a sizable portion of him enough for him to survive but those two…

Although Leo was on the brink of desperation to get Mikyung back as his girlfriend, he couldn’t be desperate. He couldn’t give into that side of himself otherwise he may very well compromise everything else. This has become apparent to him and his friends. Mikyung’s impact had not affected much else besides soccer and his friends. Her influence would soon spread into other compartments without a doubt but there were ones he was anticipating. That being his family circle.

Hyunwoo absolutely adored Mikyung. Much like his friends and himself, his nephew became entranced by her the more he saw her. She just had that ability of drawing any guy’s attention much to her usual contempt but Hyunwoo being all but the male version of her Mieun, Mikyung hadn’t minded using her beauty to put a spell on his nephew. Hyunwoo trailed after her at dinners, parties, her visits to his family apartment, his games, etc. Just wherever Hyunwoo could see her, he was Mikyung’s tail. Taekwoon couldn’t blame him given he had been under her spell for a lot longer and on a more frequent basis given he was always with her and so her effect was more potent on Taekwoon.

Until he wasn’t and she was gone.

After the breakup, Taekwoon faced the dilemma of explaining her absence at family gatherings to him but Hyunwoo was still a child. People came and went and as a child, that couldn’t be truer since she was just his uncle’s pretty friend. But Taekwoon knew that should his nephew see her again, he will recognize her. Such lamentation led to another as Leo wondered if Mieun would recognize him. Aside from his nephew, Mieun was still a baby the last time he saw her and so she was at a different comprehension level compared to Hyunwoo.

And so based off of this, Hyunwoo wouldn’t mind seeing Mikyung again. Jihee too, most likely given she was the most affable to Mikyung. Soomi probably wouldn’t think anything of it although she may give him a talking to with reminders and warnings. His mom, however, was the most neutral. While on the complete opposite side stood his father and Jieun. If Taekwoon was being honest, he could easily disregard the last two and any opposing stances they may bring to him. He knew his family dynamics as a participant and an observer his entire life. After all, they were his first fans. They had their own feelings regarding Mikyung in his life.

Should he re-introduce her to them, Taekwoon had a feeling that it would put a certain strain on the Jung family. But if they knew anything about him, their son, brother and uncle, then they already knew that he wouldn’t give her up entirely. They knew of the changes Mikyung wrought out of him because of her but not fully. If not for her, Leo would be a lot more aggressive in soccer and outside of it. He would have been a handful to contain and discipline. He could have been a lot more self-centered and selfish. His recklessness would have been leaps and bounds above what it is.

She was the mist that shrouded his fire into a smoldering ember that had its flashes of heat but was not oppressive enough to dilute him completely.

There are many qualities of his that are on the bad side with the obvious being his short temper and belligerence but without the talking. Leo knew himself best as is the case with a lot of people. And he knows credit is due to Mikyung for putting a stop to the big head he was on the verge of growing going into high school. His talent in soccer gave him an automatic in as far as school politics dictates is due to him. With his five friends he was covered as far as any backstabbing could be done. He could have been a lot more overbearing to his seniors and underhanded with the coaches and the players he didn’t get along with. There had been multiple opportunities to do so and take advantage of. Even now there were those passages opened enough just for him to edge his way in. But then and now, he won’t. Mikyung taught him so many things.

Leo can be upfront with such a path being a possibility for him. But Mikyung…is a force.

It was her beauty and total lack of almost nothingness that intrigued him at the very beginning. At first he thought she was just stained glass, something transparent but beautiful. He figured he could see through her and have her figured out. She would be someone he could look at during his down time when he wasn’t on field playing and contained to a classroom. He counted himself lucky that someone so pretty was seated in front of him for him to admire. was he wrong.

She ended up twisting his insides until she was using his heartstrings for jump rope. His heart was her ball to play with and at her utter control. His mind was her mirror for her reflection could always be found there. His body was her force field to be pelted by any barbs and compliments alike. His very being was hers entirely. The ecstatic and joyful state she had him in constantly was his own sustenance and what kept him going to school for days at a time.

Just like the glass he describes her as, he saw himself in her reflective eyes. He constantly worried about what she may not like about him. He became beyond apprehensive and paranoid of what she may hear about him or what she already heard. Had he treated anyone badly enough to cause someone to ruin any chance he had to get her? Have any of his past actions caused her to look at him in disgust? Did she like guys who could get her to talk? Or did she find them annoying? Why did she turn down so many guys? What about them made her reject them? Did he have those same things that would make her refuse him? What did Thunder do to make her break up with him? Would he stupidly do the same thing? Or did he not have a chance at all? Did someone else already have her interest? Who was it? And what did he have that Leo didn’t?

And on and on did it continue. Even when she started not to mind being around his friends, he didn’t know what drew her to him and them. The mystery of what she thought of him really did a number on him at the time. He did his best to stem most of the insecurities but he couldn’t hide from his friends’ perception. They all had been more than astonished about his sudden and novel behavior, N and Ken above all with their front row seats in class 2-B.

He let himself be unveiled to them all when Ravi made a brash comment about the pretty older girls he got to see who were his style. With the way Leo had charged at his longtime friend when her name was carelessly thrown out there like it was a piece of scrap had him instantly incensed. Leo remembered the outrageous shock and revelation that event induced. From then on it was understood; his feelings that he was still comprehending was an unknown. And that her name shouldn’t be haphazardly tossed around particularly around him. Anything about her would require extreme caution. That incident had him guilt ridden for a long time especially when Ravi kept his distance from him for a day. But to Leo, that shouldn’t have had to ever happen.

That’s when he made the decision to stay away from the cause: Choi Mikyung. If she could induce such extreme actions from him towards his little brothers, then she had to be avoided. At that point, he was in too deep which he would find out much later to his detriment. Mikyung was very popular with the male student population. And guys gossiped aplenty amongst each other. With N as his friend, the conduit and affable personality he still is was the main information gatherer for there were few things that went by him. And above all was talks of girls, gaming and sports. Seeing and hearing about all of these guys who were prepared to take the plunge to ask her out hurt him without even being near her especially with the frightening likelihood she may say yes to one of them. Her single status was welcomed, her beauty was something to be prized and more than that was her alluring unavailability that had tongues wagging. A challenge for some. Leo won’t deny thinking the same about her.

Leo can admit to seeing only the surface and admiring it from a distance. To letting his inexperience with girls to see them for only their looks and appearances. To imagining how having her as his would elevate his standing amongst the guys at school. To rubbing his superiority in everyone’s noses on and off the field. Leo was a pretty insecure being, something he hopes has changed even a little since then.

That was before she shared her lunch with him the very first time in the cafeteria. Before she helped him with homework that first time. Before she pointedly ignored him and the times she glared at him openly when he did something she didn’t like. Before she held his gaze without any fear. Before she smiled at him the first time. Before she spoke to him the first time in that empty hallway. Before she ever saw him play. Before she let the younger ones call her their noona. Before she let him get those first barest pieces of her.

If anything, it’s having her respond back to him following his failed attempts to keep and retain the distance between them that was his undoing. As the number of times he and his friends were exposed to her and learning the Mikyung way of communicating that Leo and his friends saw a new possibility for not only Leo but also for them.

Mikyung was an enigma to them all.

And then there were her words and the voice that was solely hers.

He figures it’s her father being a general in the Korean military that gives her an almost self-righteous and unforgiving aura. By the gossip N had collected, no one had breached or made her yield to anyone beyond teachers and people of authority. Leo is forever grateful to those teachers that called on her so he could hear her voice in class especially when he was on his self-imposed but also self-destructive Mikyung-avoidance-mission.

She’s very upright. There’s hardly anything that went by her as far as secret intentions. At the time, anyone could butter him up and manipulate him. It’s to his friends’ integrity and varying levels of judgements that protected him from such people time and time again. Mikyung didn’t have anyone like that at the very beginning. The way she stayed well out of everyone’s way to the point where some people saw it as a weakness. It’s because of that that the girls jealous of her beauty and popularity with the boys left her alone. It’s what made him admire her when he saw and finally understood Mikyung’s underhanded methods to designate it so for herself and her comfort.

It’s deep into their time together that she shares with him the events of her final middle school year that made such a thing essential to her. Leo’s memory of them lounging in his bedroom after a small dinner with his family led to him sharing with her how he liked that people left them alone and how he does his best to be intimidating so it could be so. She about how he didn’t have to try so hard and that’s when Leo tells her of his admiration for her doing so on her own for so long. Her expression had changed. They were in what some people call their honeymoon phase and so the sight of that one change from her earlier teasing made Leo question her directly about it. Leo distinctly recalls the rage he felt and tried to contain as she informs him almost offhandedly about that time in her life. Even now, Leo’s hand clenches at the very thought of what she went through. Her trusting him with that made him fall deeper for her when he thought he couldn’t possibly fall any further.

By this point, he’s in the tunnel after his prolonged reminiscing. The crowd is fired up but in this mind frame, Leo barely registers the volume. Just like his unbidden but relentless mantra, Leo thinks about who and for what he’ll be playing for. It’s a mindset that his father first taught him in his beginning years of playing. When he used to trip over the ball. When he couldn’t kick it in the direction he wanted. When his dad had to hold his hand so Leo could count how many steps a full length soccer field is. When he was still picking up and catching the ball with his hands. When he was old enough to go to an official soccer game without his mom and with just his dad.

He waves to the crowd when his name is called after he and his teammates are out in the fields in front of the teeming crowd. Leo doesn’t really recall leaving the tunnel.

In no real order, he thinks of his family and friends. And like it’s always been since he started seeing her, Mikyung is always there.

And because he and Mikyung were alike, similar and almost clones when it came to their reactions to most things social or communal, he had to be cautious above all else. With all that he knows of this one girl, he has to do the right thing for both himself and above all for her.

He runs to his known position with the image of a ceramic flower in his mind’s eye. Just as beautiful as stained glass but with a mystery contained within the folds of endless petals.

I wonder if you can guess what's the next chapter about?