Lunch was a quiet affair. Something you were not used to with him. He was a lot like N in that regard. Both liked to keep a good healthy chatter prolonged between you two and you had found that comforting with Suho as it reminded you a lot of your good friend who had not been available to you at the time. But now with the new re-additions in your life, you figured you had double the joy in this regard.

Today, rather, Suho was not as forthcoming in the temperament you had got used to. He wasn’t smiling the same. He wasn’t sharing the same animation as his old self and you knew this change had to do with you in some way or manner.

It was as the sun was on its descent after lunch did he tell you something. This something was nothing to be unguarded with and everything to be cautious of. It was on his mind the entire day just like you had been suspicious of what it was that preoccupied his mind.

It basically went something like this: “I’ll be going to Jejudo for a month Mikyungie.” That was the gist of it all. And when your response was only an absentminded one that consisted of an expression that conveyed your confusion, he smiled true this time in answer.

Then he had told you goodbye and that he’ll text or call you later.

It was only after he dropped you off and his presence was long gone did you come to a realization.

His future absence did have an impact on you and your feelings in a peculiar way. You would be deprived of his proper mannerism for an extended amount of time than you were used to since you reconnected with him and the others. You were unsure of what you should do now.

Should you say bye to him through text? Was that what he expected since he had also told you when he would be leaving? Did he expect you drop him off at the airport or even to actually be there in person when he’ll be leaving? Just what did he expect from you when he told you that extra information?

Or did he expect anything at all? But after he had told you the news, he had stared at you waiting for a reaction. It was up in the air what he meant when he told you his future plans but all you could say was that you would be looking forward to the day he came back.

That was as far as you got in processing the news.

On the other side of things, Ken very explicitly told you Taekwoon would be heading to Japan for specialized training. Now that you and Leo had proven to be amiable when around the other, everyone else felt it only natural to update you on him and the smallest part of you was thankful for that, if only because you were still curious about him. This new older him.

Your former curiosity about how he looked in person was now properly chastised and sated after enduring that night with him and your friends. You had become more familiar with this older Taekwoon who had been flung into obscurity and mystery after your separation from one another after those two years all in that one night and the next morning.

And it was beyond the changes in his physical appearance that your curiosity was not properly put to rest. This weakness in your body armor was probably to be expected given your past pining but now that you had gotten over the hurdle of your first group meeting, you knew things would turn out well so long as you two didn’t get too personal.

Jimri seemed to think so too. Especially given all of her frequent questioning as to when another group outing would be and if you would be willing to get Take-Another-Incriminating-Group-Selfie-Drunk again.

She had yet to meet N and Ken again as she did not want to deal with the added baggage named Minhyuk who seemed a lot more prevalent around them than high school times. Go figure. Annoying Boy was not only annoying to you. Nope, he would want to spread the knowledge of just how annoying he could be especially with his supposed evidence of a drunken you caught on video. An easy thing to set aside as there were much bigger things to think about when your group presentation was finally coming to a head in its progress.

Given how anticlimactic your reunion with your high school friends and ex turned out to be after you manning up and refusing to back down, things appeared to settle down. You became progressively passive to the same meddling group member who was growing desperate to ask you out before the conclusion of the group project when you would have absolutely no reason to put up with the likes of him ever again.

This idiot stretched his arms over his head as inconspicuously as he could be which was not at all. You felt something brush your shoulder and ruffle your hair as you abruptly stood up.

“Mikyung-ssi?” one of the more bearable members looked up at you with wide eyes as you collected your things. “Did you want me to send you the draft of the presentation and the report tonight? It won’t be much but,” you gave a curt nod as the more problematic member was sputtering poor excuses for you to stay for lunch. This more tolerable member couldn’t meet your eyes as you only gave a sigh before leaving them.

“.”

With that last remark from an insecure who didn’t know how to put up with rejection and disinterest, you made a more dramatic exit from the canteen.

Free to go back to your apartment, you walked to the closest bus stop that would take you there. It was as you were nearing your bus stop when you felt your phone vibrating eagerly in your bag. You pulled the bag to the front after loosening a strap and extracted the device only to be not in the mood to talk to your sister.

“About time Mimi!” you still answered her call. “Why haven’t you sent me your size?” she demanded on the other end of the line. “Do you want new bras or not? I’m at the store right now and there is a decent discount we need to take advantage of!” this was the first time you were hearing of this sale and you were not about to disclose such a private measurement in front of these people at the bus stop.

When you said nothing, your sister became irritated. “Well? Or do you want me to guess? Or better yet, do you want me to use your high school measurement since that’s the only one I remember?”

You tried not to scoff but of course Nunji could sense it wherever she was. “Remember, baby sister, I’m doing this for you!” were the last few words she let out as she ended the call.

By the end of your short one sided conversation, your bus arrived and you were boarding it. You put this aside as you let your mind wander to how close you were to also putting your group project fiasco behind you as well. With such things on the cusp of being forgotten, you were more than ready for some changes.

Except the ones your renewed friends wanted.

You should have ignored the message when you realized it was from Ken. But you were naïve like that. You had lowered your guard and now it was too late.

Figuring you could ignore this too. You unlocked your door to your apartment and threw your bag across the short distance where it landed on your bed. Thankfully you hadn’t taken your laptop out with you today otherwise you would be in a lot more trouble. Alas, you weren’t that stupid or forgetful so you were safe from such a scenario. You went to your refrigerator and pulled out some fruit to munch on as your phone buzzed in your pocket again.

Temptation built within you much like your curiosity but you let the call go to voicemail.

Another call came in.

Ignored.

Another.

Ignored.

Finally your messaging notification chirped brightly in the silent apartment. This you looked at. Just as soon as the words registered, you cast them away.

A call buzzed in and you left your phone on the stump of a counter cutting the kitchen area from your bed area.

All throughout the rest of the day, your phone continued to be tortured by continuous calls from one man named Lee Jaehwan.

It was late into the night did you check your accumulated messages after you shut your textbook with a resounding thud. You lounged back as far as your chair would allow you as the desperation in each text mounted until you got to the end where a threatening message ended the onslaught.

But what he wanted from you was something you were unable and powerless to obey. The message was as clear as anything under a powerful microscope.

Because he and N actually wanted to go all the way to Japan this weekend with you in tow. Just to follow Leo. Like you didn’t have classes to go to or that stupid group project to get over with. Like you didn’t have two certain women in your life who would go ballistic if you were crazy enough follow through with their outrageous request.

And they actually made you go crazy. When you stupidly told Jimri, she teleported to your apartment and all but threw every article of clothing in your luggage and started digging around your little apartment for your passport. When she was unable to find it, she immediately called Nunji and that was how the news was broken to your sister. Only for you both to find out that Ken had already got in touch with Nunji and that she was soon on her way to drop off your passport after wrecking your mom’s house to find it.

They made you crazy in more than one way. Especially when combined with joined forces and a single goal in mind.

Nunji went through the wardrobe Jimri not too delicately threw together and it was both of them that made you pack outfits for the Japan excursion that you had yet to consent to. A small wrinkle in their plans as Nunji okayed the go ahead to Ken to buy your tickets and for Jimri to compose an email to your professors, she was only waiting for you to sign into your student account so she could send it for you.

So, there you sat. Sitting on the edge of your bed as they scurried around the limited space your apartment allowed. Not that this had deteriorated any of their excitement on your part this one evening.

“Do you know where she keeps her swimsuit?”

“I think she keeps it at the very bottom of the last drawer.”

“And what about the clothes I bought her. You know, the ones she never wears!”

“Um, the back of the closet?”

“Hmph.”

“Oooh, what about those boots you bought her?”

“Good idea. They’ll go perfectly with the skirt I packed her. We just have to switch out the shirt for a better matching one.”

You could honestly say that there were times when they actually liked to live through you which only made them more spontaneous and determined. Not a good combination for you.

When they allowed you to have your say, you were overruled. The only thing you got your way was that if any of your professors found a problem with your sudden absence, and you were sure they would, then you wouldn’t go.

And one of your professors did, thank the heavens.

You let them all know, even screenshotted the email and everything as proof.

Only…that Ken already bought your ticket.

And then your professor had a sudden change of mind and allowed you to go.

The whole fiasco gave you a massive headache and a whole lot of stress this week leading up to your unexpected departure of your home country. Nunji and Jimri were happy that your packing was at least done for you and that you should be grateful for this sudden vacation. A vacation you didn’t ask for much less wanted to go on. What kind of student just ditches their classes to follow her ex-boyfriend’s training all the way to another country?

No one? Only you? That only made this whole thing even more unbelievable. It basically reeked of an obsessed ex-girlfriend who was desperately trying to get back with said ex-boyfriend. A connotation you did not like one bit. Even if you were the only one to see it like that.

No, forget that. You knew at least Jimri could recognize that. And why she was supporting it despite the supposed innocence that everyone was shrugging off the issue was even more concerning. Jimri knew you. She knew everything but why was she suddenly supporting this?

Was she actually supporting more than a reconciliation of the unknown? Did she and everyone want you and Leo to get back together? Even Nunji?

Your heart was pounding beyond measure at the very thought. Pounding in uncertainty and just a touch of fear. It wasn’t pounding in anticipation, you were that self-aware of your feeling a hundred percent. You didn’t want to go back to that past. You knew that much.

And the very days leading up to your abrupt and unprecedented departure made you a total wreck.

You really didn’t want to think about it but N, the kind hearted soul he is, would talk about little else as the departure date approached little by little. Your time spent with him largely consisted of him letting you know how happy and excited he was that you were all going on a trip together. It was this part that you didn’t mind, the whole spending time together with just Ken and N. But it was the real destination you were all heading to that put you on edge. You’d all be making this trip for the one and only Jung Taekwoon in a foreign country. Something you figured was beyond your capabilities but it was happening and you were resigned to it.

And the way Jimri and Nunji bypassed this fact was very concerning and suspicious. That they would just accept you new additions into your life like this was not right. They both knew how the breakup had affected you and the changes it caused. Just what were they playing at? Did they really support this trip for what it was?

It didn’t make sense.

But here you were. At the airport. With that dumb luggage filled to the brim with clothes you didn’t even know you had with them carefully labeled for what situation you may be presented with courtesy of the diabolical minds of the two closest to you.

Ugh, it was going to be a long extended weekend.

“Mikyungie!” N waved you over to the kiosk where he printed your tickets and boarding pass. “Here,” he handed you the documents and led you over to customs. You obediently followed him to where Ken was waiting in line. When all of the clearances were done, the next stop was to check in your luggage and you made a face when N gave you a surprised look at just how heavy your huge bag was as he lifted the thing so it could go through the weight test. It was barely acceptable. “Expecting everything, Mikyungie?” he teased you.

You moodily looked away from the twinkle in his eye as he laughed. Ken joined in the laughter too regardless if he knew what was being laughed at. It was with this ongoing laughter that followed you through security until passengers were being called to board.

Due to the lateness in buying your tickets, you three got separate seats on the plane and all three of them were aisle seats. You saw no problems with this seeing as you sat by a couple who were only annoying due to the glares the lady sent you while being overbearing to her partner with unnecessary and nauseating skinship. You closed yourself off to them with your earphones and some soothing music.

Too soon was the plane touching down on Japanese soil and passengers were disembarking. Immediately, regardless if anyone had ears, Ken started in on his seatmates. “And he would not turn down his music. Can you believe that? I could clearly make out the screams of the poor singer over the thrashing drums.” He shook his head. “And the guy didn’t even say bye to me!” he finished his rant dramatically.

You and N shook your heads. Not in agreement but at the spectacle your friend was making as you stood on the escalator on your way down to baggage claim.

“My neighbor was a nice old lady who…” and on N went. Of course he would get along with his seatmates and it sure sounded like they had a good heart to heart within the duration of the time the flight allowed them. “And she’s from Busan too! She invited me over whenever I get a chance to make it down to the port city. Hey! Ken! We can stop by when we go down to visit Hyuk!” He turned those beaming eyes to you. “You too, Mikyungie. Of course you’re invited as I’m sure Hyukkie did tell you all about it.”

You knew what he was talking about as far as Hyuk was concerned. The sweet boy had invited you down to visit him during a short allowance he earned. But only if you wanted to, he made your choice clear, and he did proficiently warn you that he would also be inviting Leo too.

You were still weighing the odds about the visit but so far all signs were pointing to a definite yes since you missed Hyuk more than anything. To be able to see him would put you at an ease that evaded you these past two years. It was just the Leo part that still had you at a disadvantage. And this all went beyond the proposed Busan trip especially now that you were in a neighboring country with the sole purpose and intention of seeing said person.

You’ve long since suspected that N and Ken would keep flinging the two of you together in order to figure out whether or not a war or reunification would occur. A dangerous game to be played in your eyes. They probably figured that their presence would assuage certain calamity in the event that a disaster would result in your continued meetings. Something, on your part, you were still on the fence about.

On one hand, you knew something more defined had to be settled on between you and your ex. Because there was just no way you two could just be friends. Exes can’t be just friends. Especially exes that consist of two very dependable individuals such as yourself and Leo. That dependability largely derived from your personalities and characters, basically your standoffish behaviors that fringed on loners with a social phobia. Two such persons who became dependent on the other was bordering on a rather unhealthy but healthy attachment to the other was highly concerning.

But this level of concern was not as problematic as it may have once been. Given how you and your ex have remained cautious of the other and the fact that nothing crazy has happened so far, you could say that although something would have to happen, it would not be dangerous.

Or you could be wrong.

Who knew how life really went. It never went the way a person would always want it to go, that was one lesson you knew was for sure.

So it was at the baggage claim, waiting for your heavy suitcase that you were pondering all of this unnecessary but necessary mess in your head as N and Ken were now planning your next excursion to Busan. Really.

You didn’t know what you were even doing here but they seemed to know and were planning everything out. So you let yourself find solace in that they were there with you.

On a train into the fringes of the city, you detached yourself fairly quickly as your two companions argued about directions and since they had coerced you here, you left it to them to deal with it. It was late into the day did you three get to your destination, a hostel.

They belligerently let you have the master bedroom with no qualms on your part seeing as you were in Japan when you would be on campus if not for their interference. A late lunch or early dinner was soon a topic of the expected argument which transitioned into yet another argument on what should be eaten.

You sat in the middle of the living room as the two men stood toe to toe before the decision was made that it would be your choice.

Looking up at them from your seated position, you showed them what you were looking at on your phone.

After eating takoyaki, you figured you would be allowed to relax for the rest of the night but instead, N let both you and Ken know he was already planning his late night snack in advance: ramen. So you had to stop at a convenience store where they stocked up on an unnecessary amount of snacks. And that wasn’t just it. They got a lot of beer. All you could do was sigh as they popped open multiple cans while never forgetting you which only prompted your participation.

Jimri got another drunken and indiscernible picture that night.

It was a slightly hungover early afternoon when you three left the hostel and got lost in the Japanese transportation system. It was late into the day when you guys finally found the facility Leo was supposed to be and late into the night before he even showed up. But that left you three plenty of time to get souvenirs from a nearby shopping mall and some time to explore until Leo joined you all right after the mall was closing.

It was when you saw him did you get confused because he was still in his training gear with the exception of his cleats. An instant memory of a younger version of the person in front of you made you ignore him as he made an effort to lighten your load of shopping bags.

Yet another thing that instigated a flashback.

You proved your stubbornness by disallowing any contact between you and him as you edged your way around him.

N and Ken were a bit baffled at it but pushed your agenda to getting back to the hostel.

Leo’s presence threw you off when he followed you all back because you had figured he would stay wherever his team was especially since he was there for training. Shouldn’t he? But since you weren’t about to be questioning him about it, you let it drop especially since he never made another attempt to take any of your bags, which made you confused. Did you want him to take your bags from you? Was such a desire a result of past expectations?

That last question was dashed as yet another memory popped into your mind. This time it was about that last volleyball practice he had escorted you to in which your bag had been carelessly dropped to the hallway floor at your feet right in front of Jimri and Doona. By the Leo of that time. The pissed off Leo who had had a bad game just the day before.

You tried to erase the growing frown souring your expression. There was no reason to be remembering such things and if there were, it was too late. Still, you weren’t sure if that time had been properly resolved as you tried to force your thoughts into a different direction.

As you helped N with another midnight snack for the four of you, the straggling memories made yet another unwelcomed appearance. But this time it was of you and Leo’s last family dinner at his place. At that point you felt you were the only one trying. It had been more than a month since he had last gone to your house which was the record of him staying away and your mom and sister were well aware of his continued absence. You really tried not to think about it but your brain continued to dredge up the memory of Leo closing his door to you and his family. Jihee, his third sister, had to walk you to the bus stop which was the last you saw of her until graduation.

You didn’t know what it was that was causing you to suddenly remember these things but it was enough for you to call the night in early. N and Ken were more than disappointed as they brought out a variety of ice cream and not booze but you were resolved and only gave them a visible troubled smile without any verbal excuses while lagging to your temporary room with your shopping bags.

In the morning, you were not as surprised to see Leo fiddling with the coffee machine. Before he could turn around and you both in an awkward atmosphere, you bypassed the kitchen and went out on to the porch. Knowing you would get lost if you went beyond the steps, you plopped down onto the top step. You stayed out there until you could hear N and Ken moving around the kitchen.

“Are you okay Mikyungie?” N asked you as you walked into the kitchen. He put whatever he was cooking on low as he turned around to address you. You smiled at him as you sat at the small counter. He didn’t seem convinced by your smile but let it go although you knew it was bothering him. “Well, Leo has to go back today and I figured after taking him back to his hotel, we can go to a bigger mall. Leo said there is one not too far from where he’s staying. Then he invited us to watch his practice match tonight at that facility we went to though I’m not sure if we should go to a club or something instead.”

At the dry expression you made at the word ‘club’ he laughed. “Then it’s okay if we go to his game?”

The hopeful look in his eyes dashed whatever excuse you could come up with to get out of going. After all, wasn’t the whole point of coming out here was to see Leo and spend time with him? Maybe for these two, but all of these stupid things going through your mind made you unsettled.

You had honestly thought that you were capable of distinguishing the past from the present. Up until that moment in the park, you had been successful. That glaring fact was doing its job in returning you to the reality of your situation.

It was with a touch of fear that accompanied you throughout the day. It was with more than a little apprehension did you keep your distance from the source until he was gone but you already knew that uneasiness would follow you regardless if he was there or not. With a bit more urgency than you had showed, you made sure that there was no way for N and Ken to bring you into their conversation in Leo’s presence.

For some reason, you thought that your current reactions were tardy. You blindly wondered why you hadn’t acted this way earlier on during that movie outing. Had you been too complacent at the time? Were you a bit too unaware of what was happening? Just what the hell had been going through your mind? It couldn’t be because you had been out of your mind because that had happened later on in the night when you got stupid drunk.

Your sudden gasp went under the radar since N and Ken had found their interest in anime merchandise. Well only Ken was and N was doing his best to prevent his friend from buying every single thing his eye came upon. N was lucky Hyuk wasn’t there to join the fray. And Hongbin and Ravi too not that those two were that into anime stuff but they would only pretend to be so as to add to N’s dilemma.

The disturbance Ken was causing in the store was enough of a distraction for you to smile. And your smile was enough for some Japanese guy to hit on you. In Japanese. And you didn’t know how to turn down a guy in Japanese. So as he continued to fire off what was most likely pickup lines at you in his native language, Ken was throwing his version of a tantrum when N put just about everything in his arms away.

As you continued to keep repeating no in Japanese, the full extent of your knowledge in the language, the guy clearly wasn’t getting the message. Until N’s sudden and very taller presence made it clear you were not alone. When the creepy guy was effectively disposed of, N thought it best to admonish you like it was your fault. “Oh Mikyungie,” he clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “I would think after all of these years of being so pretty you would try to restrain your beauty.”

You jabbed him in the side with your elbow in retaliation and he still smirked down at you despite his wince of pain. But you joined him in dissuading Ken from buying a whole lot of unnecessary things. N was doing most of the persuading while you were a bit lenient and turned a blind eye when Ken snuck in buying some unnecessary things.

It was later at a deer park when your little group was rejoined by Leo. He would be the one escorting you all into the private indoor field. He gave both N and Ken, or more like tossed them their wristbands while he held yours out to you specifically. You didn’t appreciate his discrimination and so snatched it from him rather more aggressively than you thought you were doing. You were very deliberately not looking at him and so were clueless to the flash of surprise in his eyes as he gazed down at you. Ken and N, of course, were watching with pensive expressions in the background.

~~~~~

Leo knew things would not be easy. After all, she would not make it easy for the fact that they did not do easy.

Also given the fact that it took him months to even get her to acknowledge he existed beyond as a classmate, he was very sure it would be a long while before such a thing would ever repeat itself only that she had to see him more than an ex-boyfriend. But Leo was more than determined to try again. And again. And again. And he was impatient.

After all, she was here. Even if she was not here for him per se, but N had very clearly told him that she knew Leo would be there and that the whole purpose of the trip was to see him play. N had also let slip that he and Ken would be more than happy to push things along and Leo was beyond tempted to take him up on that offer but knew without a doubt that this had to be left to him.

If there was any chance that she would look at him again, and he meant fully look at him again, then it had to be the two of them making the moves.

These two past years had no clear or concise description of pain for him. It was unbearable at moments in which he had to wallow in pain on his own for all of his friends were leaving him behind one by one until he was finally alone in his dorm with only soccer there for him.

Now that she was back within his reach again, he had become even more focused on the sport. It was hard to describe; the way that his beloved sport was connected to her. A connection that started that very first daydream he had of her watching him play and one that only solidified when it became true. From that point on, the two were instantaneously linked. Basically, the more he loved her, the harder he played. It was something he didn’t realize was detrimental to his relationship with her.

He knew, one hundred percent, that had she put up with him and his ugly side for the past two years, he would already be well established in the pro scene. But that was only a thought, another what if. For it was a proven fact that all of those scouts, the sheer number of them, had only been interested in what she made him or at the very least had a hand in shaping him. But he knew he would never use her in that way just to get better at soccer. The soccer player he had become because of her was probably the larger part of him with the other parts consisting of his friends and family’s influence but there was no denying that she was the one that set the very fuse that propelled him so far.

What he wouldn’t give to get her back with him for him.

The temptation has long since been building within him since the park when she didn’t punch him as soon as she saw him which could have been worse. Like if she outright ignored him. Or even worse, if she hadn’t even noticed him. Just imagining such a scenario had him clutching his chest with the sudden throb that fearsome thought invigorated him with.

He snuck a glance at her from underneath the brim of his cap. Both he and she have long since tuned the two loud ones out as such thoughts permeated his mind. His eyes, much like his mind, were powerless to the sight of her in the train where she stood holding onto the pole in the almost empty cart they were sharing. There were plenty of seats where she could sit but why she chose to stand only made him desire for her. She didn’t even have to do anything and still he would desire her.

For the hundredth time or so, he took in her clothes that did not detract from her beauty but seem to only amplify her presence. Said presence hit him in the gut when he saw with his own eyes that she had traveled here to see him, no matter what his antagonistic side of his brain said. His eyes flickered away from her when she turned her head to finally tune into what Ken was talking to her about. But he didn’t want to leave this train of thoughts he was on.

Still, even when N took to talking another one-sided conversation with him, his forever untrained eyes watched as she finally got around to putting on the wristband that would give her entry to the private game. To his game.

It was the first time N and Ken would be going to a practice game of his since they went to do their military service and it was only a matter of time before Ravi, Hongbin and Hyuk would be added. But the thing was that their attendance was always and would always be a given. It was hers that, for a torturous time, was the uncertain. And now here she was getting her bag checked while the security guard stared more than he should. The guard didn’t even seem to notice the glare Taekwoon was giving him which spoke too much about Mikyung’s beauty. A beauty that was often a blessing and a curse to him only because so many seemed to covet it for themselves. And he couldn’t blame them for it when it affected him just as much if not more.

Taekwoon forced himself away. He didn’t care if she was watching him leave or not when there were other things that required his attention for now.

It is with an even more concentrated state of mind does Taekwoon get changed into his training clothes. It is with this focus does he do the bare minimum of interactions with his teammates, his managers and anyone who chooses to talk to him. It is with that very barest trace of touching her hand when he gave her the wristband in mind that he securely ties his cleats on. It is with anticipation of what’s coming does he run out of the tunnel with the teammates who choose to run out for their own reason but his being in the stands. It is her presence that warms him up for what he has to prove to her.

~~~~~

He was playing for her once again.

It’s what he’s been doing for the past two years and it’s never changed nor is it going to.

It is what he will always do.

And they both knew it.

But as she got up from her seat, and he watched as she did so for it was just the two of them in that entire field and its accompanying stands. Taekwoon saw as she didn’t even make any excuses to their friends as she walked away from them. Mikyung could feel his eyes on her as her feet led her to an escape.

~~~~~

“Why?” his voice echoed in the hall.

You felt your body jolt from more than the sound of his voice. It was the distance, and not just the distance from the physical realm, that you could feel between the two of you.

The desperate need to hide almost overcame you but you fought this back. The confusion of all of these memories being wrought from within the deepest confines of your mind was unbearable and it needed some addressing. You couldn’t keep throwing it to the side like you’ve been doing all day.

It was just, seeing him play again, seeing his sharp eyes as he read both his opponent and his teammate’s movement. Those same eyes that track your movements in such a familiar way and were even doing so now was too much. He was still watching you.

And have you been watching him too? Sure you had been watching out for him but were you watching him? Magazine covers and front page stories in newspapers flashed across your mind lining stands in marts, supermarkets and in people’s hands. Clips from television screens that you still caught when your head didn’t turn away fast enough, their host’s commentary about him still reaching your ears. Sports news that lingered in the corner of the front page home site your school’s website included that your eyes still, however briefly, found.

Like always, you didn’t have to look too far for him even if you hadn’t been consciously looking for him. He was there. And there he will be until something was decided.

But you were in no state to be making such a decision. Not when your mind was finally catching up to the way things were going. It was probably because of that uncertainty did these memories continue to scatter your mind. There were possibilities that your life could take a course on.

“Not now.”

You both frowned at your answer. It wasn’t enough.

He edged closer and closer until you could smell his sweat. You didn’t have to look behind you to see the sides of his hair flat down unless he had snatched a towel on his way out to find you. If so, his hair would look a bit fluffier especially the short ends. The top of his head would be weighed down after the presence of a good two hours of running. A familiar sight that came without beckoning.

You turned around to face him and it was just as you imagined, towel and all. The hand holding his towel to his face dropped instantly and his towel now hung around his neck in a weakened state.

And for some odd reason, at the sight of your memories coming to life once again, you could finally see why Jimri and Nunji actually supported this insane and ludicrous idea.

They wanted you to make a decision too and saw it fit to push you to this extreme. N and Ken were also no strangers to pushing Taekwoon in similar states. In fact, you were pretty sure that either one is the instigator of this entire thing. You knew without a doubt that Taekwoon wouldn’t be the one to set this up for you to come. He knew and you knew that you would not come on your own as was made evident by the way you were into this. He would not chance you two reconnecting on a sudden Japan trip when he knew enough of you and your priorities. Ken and N were well aware of these priorities and bypassed them with the assistance of Jimri and Nunji.

You knew what they were doing but it was only now facing Taekwoon did their scheming hit you full force. Obviously they saw fit to go through with it and it worked since you were here in front of him and you could not find it within you to fault them for it even if you wanted to. Like always, they knew you and Taekwoon enough to force this.

Immediately, you scowled once again for playing into their hands. The sight of your scowl made Taekwoon frown as he seemed to misunderstand it for something else pertaining to him and the situation now.

You crossed your arms. “Not you.”

His hands clenched at his sides. “Why not?”

It was your turn to frown at this. “What?”

His gaze pierced through your confusion. “Why not me?”

The challenge was easy to deflect with a not so respectful scoff. “You know why.”

He did not like your tone regarding this particular provocative conversation. He took a step toward you but not to intimidate you. It was like how it was in the past, he wanted to get close to you so he could clearly hear you when you were speaking. “What? What do I know?”

It was your turn to clench the edge of your skirt. The physical movement instantly drew his eyes and a familiar flash in his eyes was visible even if he tried to snuffle it out. Want.

The ache in your chest was your only give away other than your hands you hope. “You know.” You were wrong, it wasn’t just your hands. Your voice was weak and judging by the way he leaned down closer to you, he could hear it in your voice as well.

“How do I know?” he asked unexpectedly.

You were so tempted to look up and glare at him and it was only then did you realize that was what he wanted. So you looked up but couldn’t glare at what you found. Openness.

“How?” you asked. How could he be so open now?

He shrugged. “Two years is enough.”

“More than enough,” you found yourself replying, your eyes not leaving his.

His eyes also refused to look away. “You know then.” Anyone listening to you two talk would be confused as to what you two were even discussing. And it was for that reason it had to be the two of you. And silence. It was after a beat of that silence did he open his mouth again. “Is it okay?”

You blinked before comprehension found its place. ‘Is this okay?’ was the unspoken question lying underneath it. Not wanting to look away from him, you only nodded with the smallest hesitation perceptible.

He let out a long drawn out breath and his shoulders were no longer as tense as they were. He had dropped his head in the process and broke his gaze as a result. When that tension was gone, he peeked up at you and your breath caught.

If you weren’t so unsure of where your feelings and mind were, you knew you would give in to him right at that moment because as his eyes met yours once again it was something that was so familiar, like all of those memories that had been torturing you all day, but better. Changed to fit the times of the new you and the new him of this moment. And it was unbelievable.

It was what you had been unconsciously looking for. It was the sign you were waiting for. It was your turn for the tension to leave your body. It was your turn to drop your head and take a deep breath in before lifting it and smiling up at him.

~~~~~

Taekwoon felt it. He felt it all coming back to him again. Memories suppressed or released during grueling practices when he pushed his body to its limits. When the only thought that had pushed him through the days was Hyunwoo and his mom but, shamelessly, above all, was her image. Her hair blowing in the wind. Her soft hands engulfing his in winter spite. Her foot tapping his under a desk in class or under a table during a family dinner. Her forehead pressed against his as he winced from the pain of the doctor examining his swollen ankle. Her legs wrapped around him in that one heated moment shared between them. Her arms looped through his idly as they followed after their friends. Her watery eyes that told him all he needed to know when he held that trophy in his second year. Her limp after she was knocked over by her own teammate. Her scream of surprise when Hyuk successfully scared her. Her laughter when Ravi and Hongbin both were pushed into the pool by N and Ken right before he carried them both right after.

Even with such an influx of these memories, he felt lighter than he had felt in such a long time.

Because. Her smile. She was smiling at him again.

 

 

Thank you for reading and I know I as a writer. Sorry for the delay.