Opening your eyes has surely become a chore to you. Especially considering your long night of studying for the upcoming test just five hours ago. You rolled over to your side to stare at the alarm clock you had brought with you on the journey here. It was the same alarm clock that got you through elementary, middle and high school. Now, it was still doing its job in getting you through college.

You closed your eyes for a second before sitting up and tossing your comforter to the side. It was only a short distance to the stub of a counter of the cramped kitchen of your studio apartment and an even shorter distance to the tiny bathroom. But it sure beat the rowdiness and much too loud dorm of your college you had only barely survived a semester of.

It was only rumors of the induction and welcome parties that scared your mom, but more so your dad though he won’t admit to it, into apartment hunting. It sure was a welcomed blessing as you finally got to experience being by your lonesome except the once in a while out of tune singing of your neighbor. Said neighbor had welcomed you brightly in a fake manner before ignoring you in the hallways and stairs which was a nicer welcome than any attempts in asking how your day was and such useless pleasantries.

So yes, you were pleased with your accommodations.

You had class in two hours and the dreaded test that accounted for a big portion of your final grade but so went science classes that were more about retaining knowledge. Even if you were halfway through your time at college, you were still expected to take in information as much as you could. Nothing like high school. Ha.

You dried your hair as best you could before stuffing it in a bun and packing your bag with a single five-subject notebook, two pens and a pencil. Less was more, you found early in. And this notebook was another blessing you discovered as it beat lugging around binders for each subject. Something you had an epiphany about during that disaster of a first semester.

You were planning on heading to the library so you didn’t need to take your precious laptop that your sister had bought you as your graduation present since there were already computers there. You also grabbed an umbrella as it was the rainy season presently and you just took your shower so you didn’t need to take another one.

You locked up all the while paranoid your keys may not be in your hands even though you could clearly see them. You had already locked yourself out once and you did not want to deal with your landlady any more than you needed to after that incident.

You slipped your keys into your pocket before leisurely walking down the stairs and out into the residential street your apartment could be found. Your campus was a bus stop away from here which you sometimes walked to. But only when you wanted to which wasn’t the case today so off to the bus stop you went.

The heart of the city wasn’t something you liked all that much. It was loud. Much too loud compared to the quiet and calm residential area your home could be found. And your people-avoiding tendencies were all the more prevalent here but it was tougher to do that when you were largely surrounded by people on a regular basis. And you just had to pick a big school instead of a private one whose environment you would prefer but there was still that childish part of you that wanted to up one your sister and her Yonsei degree. So here you were at Korea University.

All of that studying and academy hours in high school had actually worked for you. That shouldn’t be surprising but to you it was. After all, academies were meant to increase your knowledge as extra lessons in addition to regular school classes. Despite those facts, you had grown a distaste for academies as you had forced yourself to go mainly because your mother was the one paying for them, and was therefore invested in your progression there.

But you liked to believe that you made all of those past aggravations worth it with where you were today. Dying in college due to your major’s workload.

It was a lot different to the workload you had in high school. In fact, you were jealous of how serious and dedicated you had been back then. Your innocence was something you liked to mock yourself with now, but not in a deranged way. It was a slap to reality when the college entrance exams actually made their way into your life. The fear then that surrounded all of the third years during that period of time was no joke and almost traumatizing. And the stress was even worse. You finally realized why there were very few third year volleyball players on the volleyball team with how stressed you had become.

The fact that you had pushed through and made the varsity team again was a major accomplishment. It made you admire girls like Captain Yunhwa and company even more as you couldn’t recall detecting any of that stress during practice before they graduated and left the team to Jimri.

Now, on campus, you swiftly made your way through campus while staring straight forward. Another trick you learned. College boys were a bit more likely to approach girls who looked defenseless and you were nothing but that as the few who had tried to hit on you learned that first semester. How many times certain upperclassmen tried to get you to do things you didn’t want to was appalling even now. Those smug bastards could learn a thing or two about manners and the word no.

So you didn’t bother thanking the guy who held the door open for you or the one who moved away from his computer when he saw you. Now, you knew better than to judge a whole race of humans just based on their gender but those upperclassmen sure tainted it.

So you dumped your bag onto the floor next to the desk and got to studying. Again. That was all you ever did and it did take a certain level of discipline to do so. It was unlike your first and only roommate who partied herself ‘til she dropped. Not dead. No. Until she dropped out of the school. So that last month, you had got the dorm to yourself which you knew you shouldn’t be thankful for but you had been in fact grateful. Not that she was loud or anything. In fact, she had been on the decent side if not for the drunk entrances at all hours of the morning. She left you alone and you paid the same courtesy though you did wonder how she had gotten into this university only to drop out. You just didn’t understand throwing away all of that hard work.

You signed into the computer and got to your school website and logging in. It was an hour later when you signed out and soon on your way to the classroom.

Another hour and you were free. To study for your next exam for a different class. And so on. That was how college treated you. But the classes were on a whole new level compared to high school. There were students who took the classes seriously and those who couldn’t be bothered. Same was same. The professors were less personal and a lot more distant unless they had open personalities which few did.

Like with your academy classes, you had that dedication to get through these obstacles due to your family. Their happiness and proud smiles were your end goal. And you were going to get there.

So you blended in and out of the crowd on your way to grab something to eat. Nothing spectacularly out of the ordinary but when you took a seat to eat, a guy sat across from you. He was easy to ignore as your lack of attention was always a factor in driving them away. These bold ones.

He started to introduce himself and talk about how he noticed you from far away and really wanted to introduce himself. So what’s your name? It pretty much went like that.

Instead of answering, you got up and dumped out your trash while deciding to get a refill for your drink.

Speaking of drink, you had learned your drinking tendencies and tolerance level that first semester. Both were pretty decent given how those stupid upperclassmen tried to get you drunk. But you sure had a good metabolism that burned alcohol at an admirable rate as a saving grace. Thank god. Who knows what would have happened if you didn’t get so angry when you drank. Some of those upperclassmen who had yet to graduate and get out of your life still had a sore spot for you, your punching and your taekwondo kicks. You never knew you were still capable of such powerful roundhouse kicks considering you hadn’t finished the course when you were in middle school.

So you had created a reputation of sorts though that reputation seemed to appeal to certain guys who ‘wanted a challenge.’ It was similar to middle school when you had been a tad more violent to anyone shaming your sister for having Mieun. So that was not foreign to you as you saw it more as a kickback to your hormonal adolescence days and reminisce those old days .

Overall, college was an experience you were still discovering. You found yourself enjoying the solitude except the rare bouts of homesickness that had more to do with your parents, Mieun and Hwangin. Kind of Nunji at times but not really. She sure liked to blow up your phone though as if to remind you she existed or to make sure you still existed. But the distance sure made you feel closer to your sister in an odd way.

By that, you meant that you both had good looking parents by just about anyone’s standards. So you were aware that genes passed down to offspring in what ways thanks to all of your biology and health classes. So that made you and Nunji more susceptible to being approached, even more so here in the city. And Nunji had had similar experiences in her good ol’ college days. So she gave you tips. Not that you asked about it or anything but Nunji was just intuitive to you in that way. But it was only now, when you were away from her and your parents did she think to share those tricks.

Though she said there was one foolproof trick that really got boys’ attention to be diverted and discouraged. One, you had found out on your own in high school but you weren’t about to do that.

So you would have to deal with the unwanted attention by discouraging them on your own terms and only utilizing the helpful ones shared with the all-knowing Nunji.

You were back in your apartment soon after your last class. You only ever left your apartment for your classes and any meetings with your groupmates for one class. Everyone else could be spirits of the world, flying listlessly through the breeze of the humid air. And was it humid. You didn’t mind the rise in your electricity bill thanks to turning the air conditioner on at all times of the day.

It was only during this time, when you got changed into comfortable clothes that you didn’t study. You either took a nap, got on your laptop to watch videos or read a book that was eons away from any textbook. It was your time to relax and laze around your tiny apartment while thinking about what you could eat.

It truly was a small form of paradise though you still needed to check your phone time to time. It was during the evening when either your mom or Nunji checked in with you and you actually looked forward to that time but that had to do with your niece. Your beautiful and precious three year old niece. She was becoming more adept at speaking and sharing her feelings with you through the phone which was a true stress reliever.

You couldn’t wait for school break to arrive so you could head home to see them all. Even Nunji. Your dad would be home this time too. You rarely got to see him though he was more prevalent to texting you when he had the time to. Your family was still the same though every time you went home you saw more wrinkles on your mother’s face and more gray in your dad’s hair. That fact only made you more determined to graduate and get home. Well, that’s what you wanted to do but in the end, you would follow wherever a potential job would be. You’d just have to settle visiting whenever you had the time to.

But that was a while away. You just had to focus on each semester until completion. And you would do just that.

~~~~~~

Your last class of the week was done and over with. You had declined Nunji’s offer of a pickup to spend the weekend at home as you had an assignment due on Sunday and you had yet to even start on it. Sure, you were determined to finish school but you did it on your own time and that included procrastinating on some assignments while finishing and getting others over and done with as soon as they were assigned.

So you had been hoping to get the assignment done by Saturday and Sunday you would go to the movies. By yourself. Because you didn’t want to deal with a companion at the moment and it skipped the whole who is going to buy what.

And you just got a message from Jimri. Who wanted to know if you wanted to go to the movies. Very convenient. She was the main one you kept in contact with from high school whose company you preferred to deal with. So you typed an affirmative to the offer but only adding you had time on Sunday.

It was only after the message was sent did you worry if she was going to bring her boyfriend. Sure he was an okay guy but you still liked the one on one time with Jimri thanks to her quieter disposition and lack of nosiness. If you felt inclined to participate, you both mainly talked about your classes and family so it was better than spending time with someone who didn’t already know those things about you. You found more comfort in that aspect since you lived away from home.

When Sunday came, it was humid still. Nothing you were already used to but you decided to dress lighter for the day. Something that Jimri commented on.

“You look so nice today Kyungie.” She smiled brightly at you. “It’s been a while since you’ve worn a skirt. I would say since high school even.” You shrugged as she handed you your ticket stub. “I got us the usual seats we sit in.”

She grabbed your arm and led you into the building. You were glad she didn’t bring her boyfriend so you let her. You two had been here enough times that you got the usual combo from the concession stand to share. She was excitedly chattering about the actors and the reviews the movie got but you only gave her half an ear when she gushed about her boyfriend. You knew it was rude but after hearing enough times how she liked the way he walked or how he ate sure got boring.

The movie saved you by starting. And it was a good movie.

It was later at lunch when she gave you an odd look. “So, um,” you knew that was bad news coming. And your eyes flickered to the exit. She knew you long and well enough to detect your ire so she plowed on before you made the move to escape. “There’s a get together for our high school class. And I want you to come with me and Yoohyuk.”

You didn’t bother hiding your distaste at her suggestion. And you weren’t planning on going. In fact, when you got an email from the high school announcing the meeting, you had immediately deleted it. You’d been about to block the contact too but got distracted when the food started boiling over that you had been cooking.

Presently, she gave you a pleading look, “Come on. It won’t be that bad.”

Your expression did all the talking and it made her frown for probably the first time today. “Kyungie.”

You shook your head minutely. “No.”

“It won’t be that bad,” she whined. “You even missed last year’s meeting too.”

You resumed eating.

“How about I get you a nice carpet for your apartment?” When you didn’t respond, she put on her sulking face. “Or I take you out whenever you want?”

But you were decisive in not going. You had no reason to see people you’ve forgotten and put behind you. They all belonged to your past.