He’s gone, he went to do his military service with my brother, Yongbae oppa, Daesung and T.O.P oppa.

If I could express my loneliness that time, I would never be able to.

So, I went and did just like what Jiyong oppa did for me when I broke up from that man that I don’t even remember his name and went into a depression slope, he went and got me ginger, so I went and found a brother for ginger, which I named ZERO.

Zero became my life, I raised him up, fed him, bathed him, played with him and went out for walks every night and day, I gave him all the love I didn’t give for Jiyong oppa and ginger back in days.

He became my whole day, even when I stop by the recording studios and shooting studios, I take him there with me.

He was my secrets keeper.

I sit with him every night, and told him everything I couldn’t tell anyone else about.

About how much I miss Jiyong oppa, about how much I was lonely then, my members went to chase their dreams here and there, and I was left alone in Seoul.

I asked my company to assign some schedules for me, so they got me a mini album and a Japanese debut, with no promotions, with a Japanese tour, and some CFs from time to time.

I just couldn’t stay alone, since if I did that, all the thoughts and regrets about Jiyong oppa would chase me.

I was doing fine with Zero, until I got a call from Heechul oppa that day.

“Where are you?” he asked with worrisome in his voice.

“On the way back with Zero, why?”

“J-Jiyong, got hurt at the army base!” the moment I heard those words I didn’t see before me, and I found myself collapsing with the car in front of me.

“Taeyeon!!” he cried, “What happened?”

The people started to gather around me.

“Taeyeon! Are you alright?”

“Oppa, is he alright?” I asked weakly, “Jiyong oppa, is he fine?”

“God damn it Taeyeon!” he cussed, “Are you alright? What was that sound? Did you went through an accident?!”

“I think so…” I realized then.

“Don’t move, I’m coming.” He said, “Lock your door and wait for me.”

Few minutes went by, the people I went into kept knocking my door, but I waited till Heechul oppa came together with my manager.

He took me to his car, and made my manager take care of the matter.

“Are you alright, nothing serious?”

“How is he?” I asked while hugging Zero in my arms, “Is he hurt severely?”

“Are you worrying about him right now?” he got angry, “Taeyeon, you were about to lose your soul couple of moments ago, what’s wrong with you!”

“Where is he hurt at? Ears? Arms? Legs?” I asked with tears.

He hit the steering wheel and huffed in anger.

He speeded up till we reach under my apartment complex, “Taeyeon, if you love him that much, why are you departing yourself from him.”

“Cause he will keep on hurting and sacrificing for me like that!” I busted out.

“But when you’re away from him he will do worse, can’t you think of that?”

“Oppa, didn’t you hear him? He will give up everything, his future, his present just to be with me, do you think I’m happy with that?”

“Taeyeon, you’re talking about Kwon Jiyong, not just any man.”

“That’s why it’s more dangerous!” I teared up, “You know how this industry is important for him, but he is willing to drop it all aside just to be with me.”

“He won’t confess to you, and ask you to be by his side without a plan in his mind.”

“What plan? There’s no plan that can keep us together without flipping this industry upside down.”

“Trust him, Taeyeon.”

I looked at him.

“He hurt his ankle last week, and today he broke his arm.”

“What?!” my eyes widen up, and tears fell unknowingly.

“He’ll be fine, my friend there said that he got hospitalized today’s morning.”

I let Zero at the back seat, and covered my face with my two palms and tried to find back my breath.

“Hey,” he my back, “Everything will be fine, I just wanted you to be updated, since you will hear it now or later from the media or from someone else, so it’s better to hear it first from me.” He shrugged, “I think that is why Jiyong made me friends with you.”

“W-What do you mean by that?”

“You didn’t know?” he was surprised, “Jiyong came to me, before he debuted, and asked me to take care of you, and to tell him if you needed anything, he was cute then and you were too as well, so I agreed on befriending you.”

I cried a little bit more.

“You should be happy you stupid, without him we wouldn’t be this close by now.”

“That’s why I’m crying, I don’t want to be with him since that will hurt him, yet I can’t back away from him too, since I will get hurt from that too.”

“You two are so complicated, why can’t you just simplify things up Taeyeon.”

“How? It’s way too complicated already.”

He held my hand and put it on my heart, “Listen to this,” he smiled, “Kwon Jiyong.”

The moment he said his name, my heartbeat skipped two beats.

My eyes widen in shock, I never knew that by only hearing his name I would react dramatically like this.

“You got the answer Taeyeon.” I smirked.

“What about-”

“Think day by day, never look at the future, since you’re not sure that you’ll be able to live it yet.” He said, “Like tonight, you were about to lose yourself suddenly, wouldn’t you regret loving Jiyong back if you really died tonight.”

I nodded.

“Then what are you waiting for? Go to him…” he looked at me, “Taeyeon, Jiyong loved you ever since he came to me that day, and I knew how much this love was hard on him, it was such if it was eating him up alive.”

“Oppa, thank you.”

“What? For being your friend? Or for being your love coach? Or for being patient with your frustrating stubbornness and tactlessness?”

“For being with me all this time.” I gave him a quick hug.

Then I cried out as he touched my back.

“What’s wrong?”

“It hurt there!”

We went to the hospital, and it seemed that I hurt my back and my neck with the accident earlier.

So, with taking my sick leave as an excuse, I went to Jiyong oppa’s military base. 

The moment I reached there, the soldiers by the gate questioned me for my identity, when I took off my sunglasses, the doors started opening one after the other.

The General came in a hurry to the room I was waiting at, “Taeyeon-ssi,” he called, “What an honor to meet you personally.”

“It’s my honor, thank you.”

“How can I help you?”

“I need