FLASHBACK

I had a sever headache that made me go to my usual doctor, Dr. Jang.

As she examined me, “Till when you will stay this stubborn?”

“Why? Is it because of my ear again?”

She nodded, “Jiyong, this is the last time that I will warn you,” she was serious, “If you don’t have the treatment by this time, you should be ready to face your future with a permanent deafness.”

“Is it this serious?” I sighed, “I have a tour left to finish, I can’t be absent on my schedules.”

“But your health is more important Kwon Jiyong!”

“It will be fine, my ears can wait couple of months more,” I chuckled, “They waited all these years, so they can wait a little more.”

She sighed, “If I talked from now till tomorrow you will still not undergo this treatment right?”

I nodded with a smile, “I have a schedule to attend, so I will excuse myself first.”

“Then don’t forget at least your medicines.”

I bowed, “See you again Doc.”

BACK

After that day, Taeyeon left me saying she want to break up with me.

I didn’t understand her, until I met her after weeks and she told me to put on my hearing aids.

By days my hearing got worse and I had to use a hearing aid, since all what I was hearing was the white noise that I made for Rohee when I got her to sleep.

Yeah, I lost my hearing when I was saving Taeyeon from those scumbags, but still I would never blame her for it, it was something that I did myself, and no one forced me to do, so she can’t blame herself too.

When I went back to my company, Hyunsuk hyung told me about my leave for treatment. I didn’t know that it was this serious, how can he cancel my schedules like that, what would the media say, no one should know about this.

I didn’t have a choice then, Taeyeon wanted me to undergo the treatment so bad that she broke up with me, while Hyunsuk also got alerted with my case somehow and vacated my schedule to receive that treatment as soon as possible, how can I refuse it after all these efforts.

So, I went to Dr. Jang once again and told her that I will receive it, she was so happy that she called all the centers and assigned my name at the top of the list, so I could start it as soon as possible.

And really I couldn’t hear for around a year or so, just wearing those aids, and doing rehibition with the doctors there overseas; so the media here wouldn’t know about me.

I told Yongbae to send this song to SM under my other nickname, so they wouldn’t know it was written by me.

But who can kid Taeyeon’s ear, she immediately called Yongbae and scolded him, I can withdraw any other song, but this I can’t, since I wrote our story, how we or I especially went through this break up with Taeyeon, it wasn’t fine for me, and not for her for sure.

Taeyeon since the first moment I saw her, she kept saying it was fine, it is fine, don’t worry it’s fine, so finally I got the moment to tell her that it’s not fine, and made her sing it to the world, that it’s really not fine.

As usual she hit all the charts with her 1st place, her album did really well, but herself was hurting, I could see the pain deep in her eyes.

I hated myself for that, since I was the reason behind this pain, why is fate playing his jokes with us? Isn’t it enough that I can’t get her by my side forever? Now I can’t even have her as my friend too! 

One day as I finished my fifth course of treatment, I returned back for couple of days to Seoul, so I can see my parents and my members, and work on my last solo album before getting enlisted into the military.

Yeah you can say that I’m in the last stages of getting cured completely.

Thankfully, my songs almost 3 are done, I just had to record one and made an outro; I had in mind that this year would be busy, so I saved some songs from before in case I got the enlistment notice earlier than expected.

It was March 2017, Taeyeon was having her promotions by then, and she was preparing for her deluxe version of her repackage album ‘My Voice’.

I was walking at night in Seoul’s streets, without any destination, earphones in my ears even though I couldn’t hear the music clearly, it was just a sign that don’t touch me.

Some external unclear noises were made, but I thought of it as if it’s a group of drunken men or something; but then someone knocked on my shoulder and welcomed me with a bright smile.

“Uh, oppa!” I read her lips, those lips were Taeyeon’s.

The face that I missed the most was smiling while hurting, her eyes were locking her tears forcibly.

“I told you to wait for me, why are you running already?” she was lying, why?

I looked around, to see that SUPER JUNIOR members were there standing, were they calling for me all this time?

I took off my earphones in a dynamic way to sh