“Sua~” Jiu sang out as she cheerfully entered Sua’s room without knocking once again. It became a habit for Jiu to show up without any notice, so she could scare Sua or try to find any dirt to use to later which often got Sua to blush more times than getting angry at her. Jiu savored the fact that she was the only one who could see the cute sides of Sua as barely anyone wanted to get to know her very shy soulmate.

Sometimes she wanted everyone to know about all the sides that made Sua, well Sua, but at the same time she was happy that no one knew about them. Less competition for her and also gives her a piece of ease knowing that no one would take advantage of her sweet nature. She smiled at the thought of being with Sua for the rest of the evening.

Sua was currently crying from everything that had been dealt with her at school while Jiu was on a school field trip. When Jiu heard the sniffles from her lover her smile fell at the fact that Sua wasn’t in her happy place like usual whenever she barged into her room. She felt guilty for having fun while Sua was facing with something that Jiu knew that the only reason why Sua would be crying is from the bullying and being helpless in her situation.

Sua couldn’t feel her soulmate’s heart dropping since she was too caught up in her thoughts of being useless once more as her friends stood up for her for the millionth time. She hated the fact that she kept freezing in her spot unable to do anything and just watched as her friends defended her. She was like a deer in headlights whenever she was faced with her bullies. She hated herself for being weak and tried to stand up but all she got from trying to handle her situation herself was cold feet and a huge lump in .

Jiu seeing Sua huddled up in her bed with the blankets over her rushed to her side, slipped under the blankets as well and without warning started peppering kisses all over Sua’s face. Sua kept crying at the fact that Jiu was seeing her in her most vulnerable state once again, she clung to Jiu for dear life as she needed her the most at this time fearing that something bad might happen if she were to push her away. Jiu heard the soft whimpers that were coming from Sua as she began getting angry at the people who were bullying Sua. The very people who hated weak/shy people like Sua were in the world showing off their superior power they somehow obtained by school unwritten quotas.

Jiu hated seeing Sua all broken and helpless in her eyes, so she cradled the girl in her arms as her sleeves were becoming soaked with tears however Jiu didn’t care about that fact. All she cared about was the girl who was bawling her eyes out for something she was judged for at the beginning of her school year.

Being under the blankets for both of them was becoming harder to do as they were lacking oxygen and it was also becoming too hot to the point that they were already sweating. Jiu was the first one to get them out of the blankets as she was gasping for air. Sua was still sniffling as the events that happened before her kept replying in her mind, however being in Jiu’s embrace made her mind clear and the negativity crept away silently in the back of her mind. She felt dizzy from all the crying, but she knew that Jiu wasn’t going to be mean to her. She somehow knew that Jiu wouldn’t say anything bad to Sua or even hurt her in any way possible.

When Jiu took the blanket off of the both of them, she was sitting up as Sua was still laying down staining her pillow with tears once again. Her eyes were puffy as her nose and cheeks had a little bit of a tint of pink on them. Simply beautiful. Jiu thought as she was entrapped in her daze that she didn’t think about what she going to do next. She pulled Sua up from her position and watched as the tears fell freely from her eyes. She didn’t want Sua to think about the bad things that were surrounding her. Suffocating her. Drowning her into the deep gaping hole that people pushed her into. She wanted Sua to be happy again instead of falling asleep only to get nightmares of what was happening to her.

Jiu brushed Sua’s hair behind her ears as she wanted to look at Sua’s flawless face even though she had seen it every day. She committed each and every detail of Sua’s facial structure to memory. When Jiu finished pushing Sua’s hair back her, she rested her right hand on Sua’s burning left cheek. Sua leaned into Jiu’s touch as she let out a sigh of relief.

Jiu smiled softly as her other hand glided down from Sua’s right ear as it slowly went to her shoulder and ghostly caressed her exposed skin of her arm leaving a trail of chills running through Sua’s spine. Sua shivered from the contact but did nothing to stop Jiu from her actions. Jiu’s hand didn’t grasp Sua’s, but instead it stopped at her hip and Jiu pulled her closer to the point that Sua was now straddling her. Jiu quickly used this opportunity kiss Sua’s tears away. Once her lips touched the corner of Sua’s eyes, she felt Sua having a fuzzy feeling go through her. Jiu smirked as she kissed the other eye to show the same amount of love for her tears. At one-point, Jiu thought it would be a great idea to taste them, so she did she drank that little drop and pulled away. Sua looked at Jiu wide-eyed and Jiu gave her a cheeky smile.

“I got you to stop crying, Sua. So, what’s my reward?” Jiu giggled at her own words as Sua rolled her eyes as she pushed Jiu on the shoulder.

“I never asked you to do that, Jiu Unnie.” Sua said as she was happy that Jiu stopped her from wallowing in her thoughts. Sua looked away from Jiu’s piercing brown eyes as she knew that Jiu could always tell what Sua was thinking at any given moment. Jiu looked at her very shy but cute lover and chuckled to herself. She grasped Sua’s chin and made her look directly into her eyes for a second before bringing their forehead’s together.

“Your tears were very salty by the way.” Jiu whispered to Sua as they sat on Sua’s bed in silence. Sua being offended pushed Jiu away. As she turned around in Jiu’s lap she was in the process of getting off however Jiu wouldn’t let her as she grasped Sua by her hips and pulled her back. When Sua fell into Jiu’s lap Jiu held onto Sua as if she was going to lose her if she let her go. She didn’t like that feeling that was coursing through her veins as it was also swarming at her chest. That feeling was as if someone was hollowing out her chest to make her feel empty and Sua felt it as well. She held Jiu’s arms and stayed in her place on Jiu’s lap. “You know I was joking right?” Jiu said as her voice had a little bit of sadness and seriousness in it. Sua picked up in it and tied the two together. Jiu’s weak voice surprised Sua as Jiu rarely became sad in her life.

“I know you were joking, Jiu Unnie. It’s just sometimes your jokes aren’t funny and sometimes it gets overbearing, so I need to get out of the room.” Sua said as she tried to lighten the mood, though all Jiu did was bury her face in the crook of Sua’s neck. I’ll protect you Sua. In this harsh world, I’ll protect only you, my love. Jiu silently promised herself as she nuzzled her head there as she was getting comfortable. Sua feeling all ticklish with Jiu breathing down her neck and her hair lightly caressing the skin beside her spine.

When Jiu didn’t respond to Sua’s words she let out a sigh as she knew Jiu might be sulking at the moment. “You know that I love you right.” Sua said as she was worried about Jiu now that Jiu was holding her for dear life. Jiu just nodded her head indicating to Sua that she was listening. “No matter how overbearing you are or how bad your jokes or how you usually tease me or how your excessive amount of pink overloads your room and you migrate some of your stuff to my room. I’ll love you regardless of those negative things.” Sua said as she uncomfortably patted Jiu’s head hoping that Jiu wasn’t moping about who knows what. She twisted her head, so she could face Jiu’s head and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. Jiu raised her head and looked into Sua’s eyes.

“I love you, Sua.” Jiu confessed to her as it rolled off her tongue naturally. Sua leaned forward as her lips were mere millimeters apart from Jiu’s. She could feel the warm breath misting over her own lips. The temptation to kiss her increased each second however Sua fought the urge to do it as she wanted to let Jiu know that she was 100% serious. She looked into Jiu’s eyes which was filled with doubt and a tad desire of something dark which Sua couldn’t decipher. She twisted her body, so she could move more comfortably in Jiu’s locking embrace as she placed a hand on Jiu’s neck and glided her thumb over Jiu’s smooth porcelain skin. Jiu wanted to hear those words again so she booped her nose against Sua’s as a little indication for her to say I love you again. Sua got the message as her other hand was playing with the baby hairs at the back of Jiu’s neck.

“I love you too, Jiu Unnie.” As Sua pulled Jiu’s neck making her lips meet each other. This little action Sua made for Jiu was her act of confession. An act that was very cliché as she pulled it from a drama she watched ages ago.

Jiu side

Jiu woke up with tears streaming down her face and the echoes of her soulmate professing her love to her was still ringing in her ears. It only happens whenever she was sad about her romantic relationships not working out as well as she thought it would be. The reason why they broke up was because she couldn’t bring herself into telling her partner whether it was a guy or girl that she loved them. She could barely even tell them that she looked at them in a romantic aspect. She did find them attractive no doubt but nothing in her mind nor heart screamed out romantic feelings are about to bloom. Is this the effect from meeting your soulmate? You don’t develop any other feelings for other people. Not even a little rush that’ll make you smile no matter what. Jiu thought as she wiped her face from the tears that were falling from yet another memory of her soulmate. Sua was on her mind whenever her relationship went down the drain.

Jiu heaved a breath as she felt her heart ache in the lack of presence of her soulmate. It has been two and a half years, since they have broken up and Jiu still couldn’t get used to the fact that their breakup was real. Even though I initiated it and wanted to experience new things, I feel trapped right now. Caged in a box that won’t let me out for some reason. Shackled to the good memories of what we once were. Locked up like a wounded animal to my wounds until I am better again. Jiu thought as she proceeded to her bathroom to make herself more presentable to the world.

It's been two and a half years since the separation and Jiu went through her life the same as junior high. There weren’t any major things happening except that she kept dating people in hopes that she could achieve the same happiness she once had with Sua. She had to prepare her heart if anything was supposed to happen. That was why when she found out that Sua was going to a different high school she was relieved at that fact. It made her plans and goal a whole lot easier in her case. She didn’t make any form of contact with Sua since she knew that if she did then all her work would be for nothing. She felt the pain and ache in her heart for the first three months but did nothing to console her lover. All she could do was hope that Sua would understand why she was doing it.

“We’ll see each other soon, Sua, and when that time comes there won’t be anymore pain for the both of us.” Jiu said as she proceeded to open her front door to go to her school.

Sua’s side

“W-what?” Sua said as she began processing the sudden information that was just given to her. She turned around to look into Siyeon’s eyes to see if she was joking but she saw none of that. All she saw was the soft look on her face that showed that she deeply cared for her and it wasn’t a friendship level. It was much more deeper as if she had carried these feelings for a long time. Her eyes bore into hers as Sua began to feel that Siyeon’s confession was indeed real. Sua couldn’t answer her because she didn’t know how she felt back to her best friend. Her final answer determined their relationship and she didn’t want to be faced with such a tough decision that was laying in front of her.

Siyeon, on the other hand, was busy internally panicking about her sudden confession to her best friend. She didn’t want to confess to her in such a way and she wasn’t prepared to hear Sua’s answer just yet. She looked all around the room in hopes that she’ll find something else to talk about, but nothing was giving her any ideas to steer the conversation away. Causing her to have an internal battle within herself and imagine all kinds of scenarios which lead to Sua’s rejecting her. Her heart broke at each and every single one of them.

Sua tugged onto Siyeon’s sleeve which didn’t gain her attention. Sua was confused with her feelings at the moment and she knew that if she made a decision now, it wouldn’t be in the right mind because she just went through a vulnerable moment and she didn’t want to use people to get over it. She couldn’t process it correctly as her thoughts were about Jiu and the negativity around them. Sua knew that she needed time to think about her answer instead of just flat out telling her about her decision that was based on quick thinking. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them as things weren’t meant to be a spur of the moment kind of thing.

“Siyeon.” Sua called out to her but all she got was silence as she could see the internal debate going on in Siyeon’s mind that and when being friends with her for two years had given her perks on knowing her without actually asking. “Si. Ye. On. Ssi.” She sounded out her name, but she was still stuck in the internal debate. Sua was getting irritated by the silence the younger girl was giving her, so she did what she usually did best. She hit Siyeon on the shoulder which worked until Siyeon fell onto the ground leaving Sua to panic about their current situation. Siyeon isn’t responding to me and my hit didn’t work. What is wrong? Did I hit her so hard that her nerves are no longer working? Did I paralyze her without even knowing it? Oh no, am I going to lose her over a small matter like this? So many thoughts went through Sua’s mind as she got up and started pacing around the room.

Siyeon recovered from Sua’s hit as well as her daze on what to do next and got up only to witness Sua mumbling and pacing around the practice room.

“What are you doing?” Siyeon asked as she watched Sua freeze and looked at her. The moment she looked at Sua in the eyes she saw relief go through her and immediately launched herself onto Siyeon.

“You’re alive. Thank goodness I thought I broke you.” Sua whined as she was shaking from the fear of hurting her best friend. Stunned at Sua’s actions, Siyeon didn’t reciprocate Sua’s hug as she questioned everything that was going on as she was lost in her thoughts.

Sua noticed that Siyeon didn’t hug her back and became worried once more. She let go of the girl and took some steps back. Siyeon just watched Sua walk backwards without saying anything. Siyeon didn’t know how to talk to Sua now that her feelings were revealed to the shorter girl.

“Are you okay, Siyeonssi?” Sua asked quietly as she was afraid of what the younger girl might say to her. Siyeon didn’t reply to her and she felt like her world was starting to crumble again. “Are we going to be okay?” Sua’s voice couldn’t be strong as she began fearing the answer from Siyeon. Once Siyeon heard Sua’s voice she felt guilty for making her hurt. There was the broken girl she met back in the first year and she promised herself that she’ll never have Sua become that person ever again.

“We are going to be okay, Sua… It’s just that we need time.” Siyeon said carefully hoping that the older girl would understand where she was coming from.

“Time from what?” Sua questioned as she needed to have her suspicions confirmed by Siyeon before jumping to any conclusions.

“I confessed to you.” Siyeon said bluntly and Sua nodded but didn’t understand where she was coming from. “You rejected me.” Sua looked at Siyeon confused and before Siyeon could continue her words.

“I didn’t reject you, Siyeonssi. I never said anything to you so where are you getting this rejection from.” Sua told Siyeon the truth as she didn’t understand how the girl could come to the conclusion.

“You didn’t?” Siyeon looked at Sua to confirm with her and all she saw was seriousness. Did I think that I was going to be rejected that much that I thought that Sua already rejected me? Siyeon thought as she started overthinking things which made her start pinching her hand to make herself stop.

“I didn’t. I was trying to get your attention to tell you that I’m not going to give you an answer right now seeing as I’m not in the right mind to give you the decision of the life time.” Sua said as she felt a little offended that her best friend would think that she would do such a thing to her. “I appreciate your confession and all, but you confessed at the worst time possible you know.” Sua stated as her mind was still in a jumble and even now as she was talking, she was going back to her thoughts that she wanted to be casted away already.

Siyeon thought about what Sua was saying and understood that she did just blurt it out at the time when Sua wasn’t really herself. She nodded at Sua’s answer however she knew that things were going to be awkward between them now. She experienced this before when her friend from junior high told her that she only looked at her as a friend and wanted to remain as friends. She didn’t hold up to her words as she slowly distanced herself away from Siyeon because of how she asked their group of friends what they thought about same couples. They all disagreed to it as they said that hetero couples are the social norms and that the people who were in same relationships need to be thrown in jail.

Siyeon’s heart broke at those words the people who she once called friends. She didn’t want to be the strange one out and that was why she chose the high school that she was currently attending. There were dorms, and no one knew her as her so called “friends” said that it was too much work moving from one place to another. It was the perfect opportunity for her to start fresh. She didn’t need those friends who were going to put her down and yet here she was in the same situation as she was three years later.

“Hey.” Sua said as she noticed Siyeon being lost in her thoughts as she had a pale expression on her face as well as showing a pained expression. Sua didn’t like the pained look on Siyeon’s face. She wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. She grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. “It’s okay, Siyeon. Nothing is going to change us being friends I promise you. Just like you said be it disaster or life threatening I’ll always be by your side no matter what life throws at us. If you have feelings for me that’s something we can overcome. Just give me time before I could give you a definite answer. You are my best friend and I’m not going to lose all that just because you see me as a potential lover and I won’t reject you until I’m sure that I can only see you as a friend.” Sua reassured Siyeon as she slowly processed the words that Sua was saying. Usually it would be Siyeon who would be saving Sua, but it was her turn to save Siyeon from whatever was going through her mind.

“You got to promise me, Sua, that no matter what I do you’ll never leave me.” Siyeon said as she needed to know that Sua was serious on her declaration.

“I promise you and you know that I don’t take promises lightly.” Sua said with a serious look on her face and Siyeon knew that she should trust Sua’s words but somewhere deep in her mind as well as her heart was the fact that she might be betrayed again. She built those walls around her, so she wouldn’t be hurt and that was why she was trying to keep her feelings hidden.

“Okay.” Was all Siyeon could say knowing it was a half lie and half truth in it. Sua smiled at her and she pulled out of her embrace and started going to her bag.

“Come on, curfew is almost here, and I highly doubt you want to clean the bathroom again.” Sua said as they both made a disgusted look at the thought of cleaning the dorms bathroom. Siyeon went up to grab her bag and they both left the house as they were returning to the dorms Sua started telling her what happened earlier that day and she was beginning to plot the death of the underclassmen when Sua broke her thoughts. “Wait for me, Siyeon, no matter how many years pass just wait for me please.” Was all she said to Siyeon as she entered their dorm building before her. Siyeon froze on the spot and couldn’t decipher what was happening before her. Sua just asked me to wait for her. What does that mean? Does that mean I have a chance with her? Unless she is still thinking about it. Ah! Why are people so complicated? Siyeon was about to debate some more until she realized that she was about to break curfew. She rushed inside the building as she went into her room to contemplate some more.

Four and a half years later…

Sua was waiting outside the building that Siyeon currently resided in as she was already finished with her vocal practice for the day. Siyeon took a little bit longer since she would ask all kinds of questions for her teacher in order to become better. Sua looked up at the sky as there was no cloud in sight. Ah, what a good day today is going to be. Sua thought to herself as she noticed Siyeon getting out of the building while putting away her notebook that was filled with advice and warmups that her teacher had given her. Sua walked up to Siyeon and grabbed her hand as she didn’t care what everyone thought of them.

“Are you ready, babe?” Sua said as she was no longer embarrassed in saying it, in fact she was really proud of the fact that she could call her best friend’s hers and not care of what the world has thrown at them. Siyeon smiled at Sua as she tightened her grip letting Sua know that she was ready. After a lot of contemplation and Siyeon getting the courage to actively pursue Sua, she got a date with Sua which led to them dating. It had only been a month that they were officially girlfriends, but they didn’t care about it.

Siyeon giggled as she remembered all her worries and doubts that she had back when they were still in high school. Sua looked at her confused as she was wondering why her lover was suddenly laughing.

“What did you do now?” Sua said while smiling since she always found Siyeon’s laughter contagious.

“Nothing love just thinking back on my insecurities when you said that we’ll still be friends.” Siyeon said as she laughed some more making everyone else look at the couple weirdly and also with disgust. What a cruel world we have been placed in. Sua thought as she glared at the people who seemed to be insulting them. Siyeon looked at Sua and noticed that Sua was glaring at people and she needed her lover to stop, so she placed her hand on Sua’s cheek, but she didn’t react to it.

“Sua.” She cooed in a gentle voice that always seems to draw attention to her, which worked as Sua turned her head to look at Siyeon. “I love you.” She placed a kiss on her nose and then her forehead as she got closer to hug the girl. Sua didn’t move as she felt herself becoming less angry with the rest of the world and was now in her own world with Siyeon.

“I like you, Siyeon. You know I can’t say those words just yet, but I will, so can you wait a little bit more.” Sua said as she confessed to Siyeon. She knew that she liked Siyeon more than a friend, but she wasn’t ready to say the love word just yet. Siyeon knew that and she nodded as she knew that Sua would always be truthful with her.

“I’ll always wait for you, Sua. The fact that we are a couple still amazes me so I’m content with what we have now at the moment.” Siyeon said as she brought their foreheads together and swayed their bodies to the imaginary music. Sua was about to kiss Siyeon until Siyeon’s phone went off. Sua groaned at the interruption while Siyeon only laughed at Sua’s rare child-like nature. When Siyeon fished out her phone she froze at the contact name. It was her friend she used to have feelings for.

Hey, can we meet? Siyeon looked at the message and back at Sua, who was pouting that she didn’t initiate the kiss. Siyeon texted her back.

Yeah sure where? And also, when?

XXX café in like 10 minutes?

Sure, see you there Siyeon sighed as she locked her phone and went up to her girlfriend.

“I’m sorry, love but I have to cut out time together short as I have been summoned by one of my friends to chat about some old times.” Siyeon said as she kissed Sua’s cheek to add the effect of the apology. Sua just sighed as she didn’t want to leave Siyeon just yet but as always, she let her go due to her people come first nature.

“Be back at the apartment before 2 a.m. or else you’ll be sleeping on the couch without the air conditioner.” Sua threatened knowing that during the hot summer nights were very uncomfortable for the both of them. Siyeon gulped at the threat knowing that Sua will really go through with it since she knew most of Siyeon’s weakness’

“I will.” Siyeon gave her a quick kiss and went off to the café. Once she entered, she saw her first love sitting there looking out the window. Wow, puberty changed her for the better. Why did she want to meet me suddenly? How did she get my number too? Siyeon thought as she approached the girl as she felt her heart racing in her chest. “It’s been a while, Yoohyeon.” Yoohyeon looked up from her table and gasped at the changes Siyeon went through the past seven years.

“Si-Siyeon! Wow, it’s been a really long while. Come sit I have something to discuss with you.” Yoohyeon said as her heart raced at the secret she had been keeping for the past year. Siyeon looked at Yoohyeon in suspicion but nonetheless she sat down.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Siyeon said as she wanted to get the conversation over with as she still harbored a slight dislike for her friend who broke her own promise. Yoohyeon fidgeted in her spot as she was getting all nervous at the fact that this would be the first time, she ever said anything about her secret.

“How did you know you were… you know… a lesbian?” Yoohyeon said as she didn’t look at Siyeon, while Siyeon was taken aback by Yoohyeon’s words.

“Are you trying to mock me because if you are I will-“ Siyeon was getting heated up by the fact that person she used to call her friend was about to mock her, but she was quickly shut down when Yoohyeon interrupted her.

“I’m not mocking you. I’m just asking because I think I might have caught feelings for a girl that’s in my dance class.”