Jiu didn’t know how it happened because in the beginning Sua was inquiring about why she was awake at an ungodly hour. Somehow down the line she began revealing to Sua about how she felt everyday but twisted it into a nightmare. Though she hopes that Sua didn’t read too much into it because she’s probably the only one who knows when she is lying. Even if they spend so many years apart the little sixth sense, they have about each other probably hasn’t managed to stay away. Lastly after that whole emotional reveal she somehow has Sua using her lap as a pillow claiming who knows the reasons were again. She watched as Sua tiredly laid there as they sat in a comfortable silence.

She sighed as she heard the soft breaths coming from a now sleeping Sua. She still didn’t have the heart to wake her up to get her to a comfy bed, but she also didn’t want to have another reason to be hated by Siyeon. She looked up at the ceiling hoping whatever entity resides up there to give her some advice. Jiu scrunched her eyebrows as she got no answer which was kind of expected. So, she went deep into a debate on what she should be doing with a sleeping soulmate on her lap. She failed to notice that Sua woke up and was looking at her.

“I was right,” A hoarse voice called out, making Jiu jump a little bit before looking down onto her lap.

“About?” Jiu responded as she remembered what Sua said before having the daylights scared out of her.

“You are not going to be sleeping anytime soon,” Sua mumbled as she made no movements to leave Jiu’s lap.

“I believe I said that I had a nightmare. Don’t want to go back to continue it to find out what happens next.” Jiu excused hoping that Sua didn’t catch her lie.

“Well, I hear the effects of coffee will do that to you,” Sua responded while Jiu still didn’t understand what was going on.

“Go back to your girlfriend, Moonie, you need her, and she needs you,” Jiu whispered hoping that no one woke up to find them in this position. Sua got up from Jiu’s lap with a frown on her face.

“I figured you’d try to keep me by your side with all your claims of getting me back,” Sua looked at Jiu suspiciously as she didn’t understand Jiu’s actions.

“I know my time and place for those advances, and this isn’t one of them,” Jiu tried to say it calmly, but her tone was happy. Jiu was glad that they were in the dark because Sua would have definitely noticed how much she was failing at keeping a neutral face. Sua only scoffed as she got off the couch and fixed her clothing in a more presentable manner.

“How are you so sure that this isn’t one of them?” Sua asked as silence took over the entire room. Jiu smiles softly at Sua as she didn’t know how to answer her.

“I don’t know.” She confessed, “I just know that it just doesn’t feel right to try and profess my love when you are vulnerable right now,” Jiu continued as she watched Sua’s actions. Sua shifted in her place as she didn’t know what she was doing. She shook her head and started walking back to her room.

When Jiu heard the door click her smile faded and just stared into the darkness knowing that she was probably going to lose Sua. Jiu immediately shook her head at such a negative thought. How did she come to such a heartbreaking conclusion? Maybe it’s the constant walking out on Sua’s part to Siyeon. It was like she was mocking her on what she had done that decade ago. Maybe it was the soulmate bond losing its effects on each other and intertwining it with a more vulnerable loose end.

“Don’t think like that,” Jiu scolded herself. “She’ll come back to me. She hasn’t rejected my advances, so I still have a chance.” Jiu tried to reassure herself, but tears started falling. “Are destined to never be together again?” Jiu laughed to herself knowing the answer to her question.

Jiu was breathless as they just finished yet another exercise to a boy group dance. Their manager told them that they need to build up their stamina if they want to be a successful idol group. It didn’t help that he put up an impossible condition of having synchronization on all 7 members while dancing.

As she was catching her breath, she kept wondering how she was to make sure that the group was united like a family. She could feel that the whole place is tense after the initial meeting. They were all on edge just waiting for a fight to break out. She didn’t know how to make them all comfortable. I’m the leader and I can’t even make a friendly atmosphere. She cursed herself as she felt like she could do better.

“Hey everyone,” She called out hoping that they would at least respect her when she gave out what she thinks is the best for everyone. When all eyes were on her she felt vulnerable knowing that Sua would be looking at her. The encounter with her in the dark shouldn’t have happened. She needed to be strong like she was back when she was a child. “I think we have practised enough so if any of you think you cannot go on anymore go back to the dorms and rest. No detours and make sure you get back safely.” Jiu called out hoping that she wasn’t too authoritative towards everyone.

She watched as all the members packed up their stuff to go back home as the first day was intense. She respected their wishes and she herself wanted to go with them but something in her mind told her that she needed to work harder. So, she let everyone leave and turned back to work harder as the leader of the group.

One more couldn’t hurt. She thought to herself as the memory of Sua holding hands with Siyeon when they left the room burned in her mind. She didn’t want to ruin their happiness but for sure Sua will come back to her.

She walked to the sound system and clicked on the song Bang Bang Bang as it was one of the routine practices they had to memorize. She shifted the music to when it was almost over so she could prepare herself to dance. The motion went over and over as she lost track of time hoping that Sua would choose her. She needed a plan to win her over other than pestering her with the same question. If she kept pushing, she would eventually hand Sua over to Siyeon without her doing anything and that was something she didn’t want.

Having practiced till her legs were trembling from overuse she took a break. She could still feel the tremble in her legs along with her arms and knew that it's going to ache when she wakes for the new day. She sat against the wall beside the sound system so it would be easier to retrieve her phone if anyone was calling her.

She closed her eyes and just let her body rest until she had to depart back to the dorm.

“Hey,” Jiu jumped at the sudden intrusion of whoever it was. She slowly turned her head to the person who came in. To her disappointment it was Yoohyeon and her heart ached from its expectations.

“Hey,” Jiu responded with a forced smile to throw Yoohyeon off that she wasn’t expecting Sua to come and get her.

“You’ve been practicing this entire time?” Yoohyeon asked as she looked around the room instead of a sweaty Jiu.

“Yeah, I noticed that I wasn’t tired and needed more work in my dance movements.” Jiu lied as she just wanted to not think about Sua and Siyeon having so much PDA (Public Display of Affection) in the dorm.

“Are you tired now?” Jiu pondered on how she should answer her fake girlfriend. Physically she is tired but her mental state was much higher than that. She was tired of staying up at night even though she had accepted the lack of sleep. She was tired of having her choice of what she did to Sua thrown into her face almost 24/7. Though the thing she was tired the most was just surviving instead of living her life.

Knowing all these items that have been weighing on her mind had yet to take a toll on her body somehow. She sometimes wondered if the soulmate bond was slowly making her less human with each year apart from Sua. Though my emotions are still here… I guess… Jiu thought to herself as she didn’t want to throw herself into the muddled pool in the back her mind called negativity.

Jiu opened to confess to Yoohyeon, but would she understand what the repercussion of her actions meant? Would Yoohyeon be able to truly know the true weight of her words? Unless... Something halted her confession. Doubt entered and Jiu gave Yoohyeon a fake smile. Just bear it all alone cause no one will understand what you are going through.

“Yeah, I’m so tired that I think I might pull a cramp in my limbs,” She told her with a little bit of a joking manner. “Guess my limbs are going to be screaming at me tomorrow and the following days to come.” Jiu continued her lively manner that she perfectly made to fool everyone.

Yoohyeon smiled at Jiu’s words and held her hand out. Jiu looked at Yoohyeon’s hand for a moment and took it to stand up. They never let go because Jiu was too weak to walk on her own. Yoohyeon helped gather Jiu’s items to go back to the dorm. They went at a slow and steady pace so Jiu’s muscles wouldn’t overwork themselves again.

…

When they arrived back to the dorm, Yoohyeon helped Jiu get into bed. Sua and Siyeon were somewhere doing anything but they didn’t see the state Jiu was in. She was too tired to put up a facade, so all the tiredness made her look all worn out. Yoohyeon noticed it as she was by her side for all those years. She could somewhat tell what was going on but not all the time. They still didn’t have the closeness to tell each other secrets.

Jiu tiredly looked at Yoohyeon who has still yet to get off the ladder that was connected to the bunk bed. She wondered if Yoohyeon needed her for something.

“Yoohyeon,” She softly called out hoping it’ll gain her attention.

“Yes, Jiu?” Yoohyeon replied as she just wanted to whack Siyeon and Sua for being hellbent on making Jiu pay for her actions.

“I’m going to get some sleep so can you turn off the lights when you leave?” Jiu asked, hoping that Yoohyeon really didn’t need her for anything. Yoohyeon nodded and left the room like Jiu asked. Jiu’s fuzzy mind began swimming to make her want to go to sleep and so she did.

When Jiu woke up her body felt so heavy. It wasn’t anything new for her though as she brushed it off as overuse of her muscles. She was wide awake but at the same time it felt like a thousand bricks have been placed on her. She slowly left ger bed to go grab something to eat knowing that she has got her daily 3 hours of sleep.

She opened the door and was greeted by Sua who seemed to have waited for her to come out.

“I know something was wrong, but I couldn’t tell what it was,” Sua stated as Jiu still looked at her in confusion.

“Aren’t we no more than co-workers?” She responded as her head felt light.

“Co-workers can be concerned for others,” Sua gave her a reasonable reason though Jiu didn’t feel like arguing with her.

“What’s your concern about me then?” Jiu asked as she somehow didn’t feel right.

“It’s about your nightmare and how-” Jiu couldn’t hear the rest of the sentence as her mind was aching to much that she needed to stabilize herself. She tried to reach for the doorpost but missed. She came crashing onto the floor waking some of the members up. She felt her body go numb and she wondered if the entire thing was a dream just before closing her eyes.

“Jiu!” Sua’s attention snapped back to reality as she heard Yoohyeon call her name out. She didn’t know how long she watched her fallen figure, but she just didn’t think something like this could happen. “You!” She heard Yoohyeon growl out. “You did this to her” Yoohyeon began marching towards Sua but was unsuccessful as she was held back by Dami. “If only you weren’t so hung up on her past mistake and what she did to you, you would have seen her haggard figure. If you weren’t so scared of losing Siyeon you would have felt Jiu’s tiredness that accumulated for more than 6 years,” Yoohyeon shouted as she struggled to get closer to Sua.

Siyeon finally managed to wake up and nearly tripped over Jiu’s body when going to see what the ruckus was about.

“Suaifey?” She questioned as she continued to walk over to Sua. All Sua could hear were Jiu’s words from the other night. I’d be staring at an empty road as the place slowly gets dark… Here lies Kim Jiu who’s got what she deserved.