“Seungkwaaaan,” Mingyu walked over to his friend and looked at him with the biggest puppy eyes he could make, “Hao is coming over later because I'm going to see if I can paint some artwork on his bike. I promised him I'd organize some info about night classes and stuff like that...and...”

“Let me guess, you put it off until the last minute? Why did you tell him you'd do it when you know you at organizing?”

“Because I want to help him! And it's not like I didn't do anything. I got a bunch of brochures and what not, but I just got everything from a few different places and now it's all scrambled together and there is too much information. I don't want to scare him off from even looking at the options.”

Seungkwan sighed as he picked up one of the papers on the table, “Fine, I'll help you. How long do we have before he gets here?”

“I dunno, maybe two hours?”

Seungkwan's expression changed from annoyed to determined and he nodded, “All right. We can do that. We'll start by categorizing everything by field of study and then-” he stopped. His eyes lit up and he clapped his hands with excitement, “Oh! I have some folders in my room that we can use! I'll be right back!”

As Mingyu and Seungkwan were getting busy at the table, the living room filled with more people. Hansol joined them at the table, not to help, just to watch Seungkwan in his element and make casual conversation with him and Mingyu. Seungcheol and Jisoo arrived a little while later and installed themselves on the couch to watch a movie.

“Oooh,” Seungkwan exclaimed about an hour in and he held up a brochure, “Hansol, look! Here they teach mechanics and restoration for cars. That's perfect for you!”

Hansol took the brochure from him, but immediately threw it back onto the table, “I thought you were doing this for Minghao, not me.” he said with a frown.

Seungkwan pouted and picked the brochure back up, “So? Doesn't mean I can't also see if there's something for you.”

Hansol clicked his tongue, “Haven't I told you before that I'm not interested?”

“I know, but I just think that you'd be really good at this. You already know a bunch of that stuff anyway. If you're worried about the study part of it I am a master of making study schedules and making sure you'll stick to it. I can even-”

"I'm not some project you can focus your energy on so you don't have to deal with your own problems!"

"What? I'm just saying that-”

“Well, don't.” He folded his arms and leaned back into his chair with an angry look on his face.

"Why are you being so mean to me?" Seungkwan's voice was soft. He got up and he ran off to his room.

From the couch Jisoo sighed and shook his head, “Was that really necessary, Sol? Don't you think you were being a bit harsh on him? What if he does just need something else to focus on for a bit? Is that so bad?”

Hansol clicked his tongue, “We've had this discussion before. I'm not going to go back to school just because he thinks I should. What's the point anyway...”

Jisoo knew Hansol well enough to understand from that last statement what this was really about. It wasn't Hansol being annoyed at Seungkwan pushing for him to get an education beyond high school, it was Hansol doubting if he could do it. He stood up. “I'll go check on him.”

He knocked on the bedroom door, “Seungkwan? Can I come in?”

He didn't get a verbal response, but Seungkwan opened the door and let him in. They both sat down on the bed.

“I didn't mean to upset him...I just thought he'd like something like that and he'd be good at it.” he sniffed.

Jisoo placed a comforting hand on Seungkwan's leg, “Seungkwan, I think what you have to understand about Hansol is that for a long time in his life a lot of people around him called him useless, worthless...if people keep saying that to you, especially people who were supposed to love and support you, a part of you starts to believe that what they're saying is true.”

“But I think he is smart and has so much potential! I keep telling him that he can do so much more, but it's like he doesn't even want to hear it.”

“I think it's because he doesn't see it like that. The more you tell him to do something, the more he feels like what he's doing now isn't good enough.”

“But how do I convince him that's not what I mean?”

Jisoo sighed, “I'm not sure. I so want him to see himself like you see him, but I don't think we can force it. Just...keep loving him like you do. Maybe he'll eventually make the decision to take your advice and maybe he won't and that's okay too, right? As long as he's happy with what he's doing with his life.”

“I guess...” Seungkwan still believed Hansol could do anything he'd set his mind to, but he knew what it felt like to have someone constantly pushing you to do better. The last thing he wanted was for Hansol to feel like Seungkwan had felt all of his life because of his parents. Always breathing down his neck.

***

After both Seungkwan and Jisoo had left the living room, Seungcheol got up also and took a seat next to Hansol who was still sitting with his arms folded staring at the stupid brochure.

“Look,” he started, “as someone who has known Seungkwan for a long time, I get it. He can be a bit much when it comes to things like this. But you know that's just because he cares, right? It doesn't mean he thinks you're not doing enough or something like that. He just wants you to succeed.”

“And if I don't?”

“What do you mean?”

“If I don't succeed according to what he wants me to succeed in, what then?”

“Then...nothing. He probably just wants you to find something that makes you happy.”

“He makes me happy.”

Seungcheol chuckled, “You remember that time I told you I wasn't sure yet if you were going to turn out to just be one of his mistakes?”

“Vividly.”

“Well, not only did you turn out not to be a mistake, I think you might be the best thing that has ever happened to him.”

Hansol didn't know what to say to that. How could he be the best thing that had ever happened to another person? Especially if he had just upset that person. His doubt must have shown on his face because Seungcheol smiled and slapped him on the shoulder.

“I mean it. I know a lot of has happened, but you were there for him. No relationship is perfect, but I've seen the way you care for him and the way he smiles at you. I truly believe that with you in his future he can have the loving home he never had growing up. Sure, he had us, but that's different. For Seungkwan you're it, man.”

Mingyu cleared his throat and started gathering the paperwork scattered all over the table, “Well, this whole thing just became a lot more dramatic than I had anticipated. I guess we'll just finish another time.”

“I'm sorry, man.” Hansol said, “I'll go and apologize. He'll be back to doing your work for you in no time.” Hansol got up, but before he reached the bedroom the door opened and out walked Jisoo, followed by a shy Seungkwan.

Seungkwan stopped in front of Hansol. He looked at him and mumbled, “I'm sorry.” He got closer and hugged him, “I didn't mean to nag at you. You're right. I should focus on myself first. But...” he leaned back from the hug so he could look at him “...I just wanted to say that if you wanted to go back to school I think you should definitely do that. We'd find a way to make it happen. I'll drop the subject now. I promise.”

“Thank you. And I'm sorry for what I said and for getting angry.”

Seungkwan nodded, “Okay, so, are we good now?”

Hansol smiled and pecked his lips, “Of course we are.”

<>

In the few weeks following Jihoon's release Jeonghan had been slowly getting used to his presence. It wasn't as hard as he had feared, mostly because he worked a lot of nights and Jihoon had managed to get a job at a construction site that tired him out during the day and caused him to go to bed early. So all in all, they didn't see each other all that much. When they did spend time together, however, Jeonghan did his best to act like he always had and ignore the butterflies he now got in his stomach whenever Jihoon casually touched him or when he got home from work and Jihoon had written him a note saying he had saved him some food.

“Don't forget we're going to Wonwoo's tonight.” Jeonghan said as he poured coffee in his favorite mug. It was the weekend and neither one of them had any work that day. “Or Wonwoo's and Jun's I should say now I guess.” he added.

Jihoon took the coffee pot from him and poured his own coffee, “I still think they're rushing into this moving in together . They just got together.”

“They didn't just get together, Hoonie. You just weren't there for most of it.” He walked over to his table that was really only big enough for two and sat down.

“Yeah, I guess.” Jihoon joined him and sipped his coffee, “I feel like I barely even know Jun and suddenly he's going to be living with one of my best friends. Not to mention that Minghao is dating Mingyu and Seokmin is with Soonyoung of all people. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm glad you're single right now. If there's something I can't stand more than one happy couple is a house filled with happy couples.”

Jeonghan hadn't thought about that. Together with Chan they were going to be the only ones there not in a relationship with someone else at that party. Not to mention the fact Seungcheol and Jisoo were going to be there as well. He hadn't really spoken to either of them and he sort of felt bad about it, but at the same time he didn't know what to say anyway.

“So, do I need to bring a gift or something?” Jihoon asked.

Jeonghan smiled at him, “Don't you worry, I've already gotten them something. All you need to do is sign the card.” He got up and got the card he had bought for the occasion and a pen. “Here.”

Jihoon chuckled as he took it from him, “This is why some people used to mistake us for a couple.”

Jeonghan's smile fell from his face and he yanked the card out of Jihoon's hands, “You don't have to sign it if you think it's so terrible to be mistaken for my boyfriend.”

With a frown on his face Jihoon yanked the card back, “I was just kidding. What's your problem all of a sudden?” He put the card on the table and signed his name. “What did we get them anyway?”

“I got them a set of essential bath oils.” Jeonghan replied as he stared down at their names together on the card. “They're really nice. I have one of the same brand.”

“Does it smell like roses?” Jihoon asked without thinking about what was coming out of his mouth.

“How did you know?”

“Oh, eh, I think I've seen it in the bathroom.” he replied quickly. Maybe he had. Or maybe he had noticed how Jeonghan sometimes smelled like roses. And maybe he had imagined what it would be like to bury his nose in his neck and take in all of his scent. He cleared his throat, “So, eh, what time does the party start?”

<>

When they arrived the door wasn't locked and they could just walk right in. The others all already seemed to be inside. Since getting out Jihoon had seen most of them and he was glad the very first awkwardness was already out of the way, but that didn't mean there wasn't enough left to make him dread this evening. Before even greeting anyone he excused himself to Jeonghan and went to the bathroom. When he came back he didn't immediately spot Jeonghan and he kept to the sidelines to observe the others interacting as opposed to actually interacting with anyone himself. It was strange to see all of his friends being so close with all of these people. He watched as Wonwoo and Jun opened the gift they had gotten from Seokmin and Soonyoung. Two matching hoodies with pouches specifically designed to carry around a cat. All four of them seemed pretty pleased with this weird gift.

But what struck him the most was seeing Minghao. Not just the way he was so much softer than before when interacting with Mingyu, he was also talking with other people. Talking and even the occasional laugh escaped him. And what was more, he seemed to actually be having a good time. Minghao noticed him and came over.

“Having fun lurking in the shadows?” He joked.

“You've changed.” Jihoon blurted out.

“Oh?”

“Not in a bad way.” he clarified, “You're just...different. Happier.” His eyes landed on Mingyu. Minghao followed his gaze and a small smile appeared on his face.

“Yeah. I guess so.”

They chatted for a bit until Jihoon spotted Jeonghan and he excused himself. He approached Jeonghan from behind and casually put his hand on his lower back, “There you are. Did you already give them the present?” he asked, not noticing the way Jeonghan had twitched when he touched him.

“Y-yeah. Jun said he couldn't wait to take baths together with Wonwoo.”

Jihoon scrunched up his nose, “That's more information than I needed.” He removed his hand and Jeonghan silently let go of the breath he had been holding. “Anyway, where are they keeping the drinks?”

“Everything is in the kitchen. I can show you.”

Jihoon shook his head, “I know where it is.”

Jeonghan watched him disappear into the kitchen. He turned away and found Seungcheol had his eyes on him from across the room. He wasn't sure what kind of stare it was but he felt like he was about to find out when he started to make his way over to him.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Eh, of course. What is it?”

Seungcheol jerked his head in the direction of the bedroom, “Let's talk somewhere a bit more private.”

Jeonghan followed him. “So, what's going on?”

“You're in love with him, aren't you? Jihoon.” Seungcheol cut right to the chase.

Jeonghan let out a puff of air, taken by surprise by the directness of his statement. “What? I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just glad he's back.”

“Don't think that I don't know you at all, Jeonghan. If that was true you'd be all over him, but I saw the way you reacted when he put his hand on you. Nervous, blushing.”

A blush painted Jeonghan's face again, but this time because he was embarrassed. Was he really that obvious? “S-so what? It's just a weird crush. I'll get over it.”

Seungcheol sighed and shifted his weight, “I'm not pointing it out to make you feel bad, Jeonghan. And this might be weird coming from me, but...why should you get over it? I mean, why can't you just have feelings for him?”

Jeonghan studied Seungcheol's face and his lips broke into a sad smile, “Because it's Jihoon. He doesn't see me like that. He never has and he never will. I know he loves me, but not like that.”

At this Seungcheol scoffed, “Are you a mind reader?”

“No?”

“Then how can you be so sure? Would it be so bad to take that chance? You ended things with me and Jisoo because you felt like you didn't belong. What if he is the one you belong with?”

“How are you so sweet?”

“I want you to be happy.” Seungcheol answered sincerely. He took a deep breath. Although he had meant every word, it wasn't easy for him to have this conversation. “Just think about it, okay?”

***

For the rest of the night, whether intended or not, Jihoon got the feeling Jeonghan was avoiding him. Or maybe he had just gotten used to having most of his social interactions be with Jeonghan. He did try to make an effort to talk with the others and not just spend his time looking for Wonwoo's cat to play with. At one point he spotted Seungkwan and Hansol sitting on the couch and he supposed talking to them wasn't the worst thing in the world so he sat down next to them. “Hey.”

“Oh, hi.” Seungkwan said, a bit surprised. “How are you?”

“Fine.”

“I heard you're working in construction now, what's that like?”

Jihoon shrugged, “Tiring. But I guess that's good. At least I have no trouble falling asleep at night.”

Hansol laughed, “I hear you. I've worked some construction jobs. You're not looking for extra workers, are you? I've been meaning to find something extra temporarily. The car shop I work at is a bit slow lately and the boss has been cutting back my hours.”

“They are looking for more people actually. I can give you the info if you want.”

“That'd be great!” Hansol smiled at him.

Jihoon smiled back awkwardly. He wasn't used to people being so friendly with him. Maybe now that he was no longer a real gang member people just weren't threatened by him anymore. He didn't dislike it, but he wasn't sure how to act. Everybody had just become one group in his absence and he couldn't help but wonder if it was precisely because he had been absent. Maybe him not being there had allowed his fellow Daebaks to move around more freely in the social atmosphere and perhaps it would have been better if he had ignored Seungkwan all those months ago and had never picked up the phone to wish Jeonghan a happy birthday.

<>

After the talk he had with Seungcheol Jeonghan had been thinking a lot about his past relationships. He had lost his ity when he was only fifteen years old to a man much older than himself. A man who turned out to be married, something Jeonghan found out right after they had slept together. When he got upset the man pulled out his wallet and threw some money on the bed of the motel to 'make up for it'. He had never felt so stupid and humiliated, nor had he since. Jihoon was the only one he told. That was the first time Jihoon had taken Minghao out to beat someone up to the point of hospitalization. After that Jeonghan had never allowed himself to truly fall for anyone. He kept most of his ual encounters just that. He never dated anyone for very long and he got very good at spotting the ones that weren't really interested in dating him in the first place. The first true exception to that had been Jisoo and Seungcheol. Regardless of the fact that they never really defined what they were to each other, they had managed to make a few cracks in the stone wall around his heart. Maybe that was why he was finally able to see that Jihoon was the one he wanted to be with. Really be with.

It still took him some time to build up enough courage, but he had to tell him. He would never forgive himself if he didn't. It was Saturday morning and they were having breakfast together when Jeonghan decided it was now or never. “Jihoon?”

Jihoon looked up from his phone, “Hm?”

“I have to talk to you for a moment.”

He put his phone down on the table and waited for Jeonghan to start talking.

Jeonghan knew what he wanted to say, but he didn't know what words to use or how to start. He hesitated another moment before he spoke. “When you where trying to push us away and you said I was around I thought it hurt so much because you should know that it would strike a cord with me, but it wasn't just that. It was also because of all the people in the world I didn't want you to think of me like that. I didn't want you to think of my as easy or cheap, or...” he paused for a moment.

“I don't.” Jihoon said softly, “You know I don't.”

Jeonghan swallowed and nodded.

“What is this about, Jeonghan? Why are you suddenly bringing this up?”

“Because I have to tell you something. I have to tell you how I feel. I...” he didn't take his eyes off him and took one last breath, “I love you, Jihoon. I'm in love with you and I want us to be together.”

Jihoon remained silent.

“I'm going to leave now because I don't want you to say anything right away. I have work until the evening, so think about what I said and when I get back we can talk about it.” He got up and picked up his bag. Once outside he leaned his back against the door. His hands were shaking with adrenaline. There was no going back now.

Inside, Jihoon needed a moment to land back on earth. He picked up his phone and sent out a text.

Are you free this weekend? Something's come up and I need to do what we talked about ASAP. Don't tell anyone