She was home.

Canada.

The place that held a special place in her heart. A place that had once seen her at her worst. Her best. A place that had seen her first crush. First heartbreak. First acceptance letter to college, even though she chose to pursue a career in living her passion for music. It was a place for many firsts for Wendy. It was home, but yet it felt like it was lacking. It was home. Yes, her family lived in Canada, but at the moment, they weren’t present. Her members. Her second family. They weren’t here with her. They’ve never seen Canada before, they’ve seen pictures, heard her thoughts and longings for the physical place once more, but Canada wasn’t home.

After being gone for so long, Canada didn’t feel like home. Being gone for a week and a few extra days from it, Korea didn’t feel like home either. Her home away from home was her members, from trainee days until now. Most recently, she could say it was a partially shattered home, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t still home for her. That it wasn’t her safe haven. All things can be broken, but to Wendy, all things can be fixed.

But she left. She left her home. The same home that had built her up as a dreamer was so close to being the reason for her downfall. She left home to heal...which doesn’t sound remotely correct, but she was trying to find her inner peace on her own…..at least she thought she could find it this way. For them to all heal. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, and Wendy believed the saying of course… but then again she didn’t have a regular heart.  

“Was leaving really the right thing to do?” A snippet of the thoughts she had while lying down in her childhood bedroom, staring at framed pictures of a young and happy Seungwan. She had her heart condition as a child as well, but yet in these photos it never showed. Not one ounce of pain, not one ounce of suffering, not one ounce of struggle, bled from these photos. But now all she saw when she looked at her own reflection was just pain.

When she arrived back in Canada, all she did was ponder if Canada was really the answer. If she could truly heal and escape from the pain, it didn’t seem to be. Seunghee and Seungwan spent most of the days together catching up, something they haven’t been able to truly do for the past 6 years. Seunghee took her to the doctors almost everyday for a whole week, watching over her, cooking her healthy meals, and making sure she has everything she needs to build up strength.  

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“Seungwan-ah, tell me what happened.” Seunghee’s voice filled the car as they were driving from the airport to their house.

No matter how much she was hurt by her members’ actions. No matter how bad their situation became. All Wendy could whimper out was,

“I was just so stressed Unnie. I just overworked myself. I drank like a raging alcoholic. I knew I shouldn’t have, I knew I should’ve taken my time and rested, but I just couldn’t bring myself to stop. I know my boundaries for working, but I promise it won’t happen again. I should’ve taken care of myself better. I should’ve remembered my boundaries because it was almost too late.” Wendy whispered lightly, scared of tears threatening to fall out.

Seunghee was angry. Pure angry. But she was angry at the thought of losing her only sister. The anger only dissipated when she came to the realization that Seungwan had a second chance at life, a luxury that not many are able to have. Realizing this, Seunghee took extra good care of her as she stayed in Canada, but it was cut short, as Seungwan wanted to go back to Korea.  

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She was home.

Korea.

Stepping off the plane and onto the ground, she was still nervous. Sure, everything would be different. But everything would be different. But she’s missed them too much to care at the moment. Yes, she was still mad, still so upset about the way things had to be. Mad at how t