Angry. Terrified. Alone. These were the feelings left in Seungwan after she told them to leave.

“I love them, and I’ve always put them first. But I was at the brink of death apparently, and that’s why they’re all here. Had I not drank, had I not slipped, if I had not gone through the things that I’ve been through, would they even be there for me? I want to put them first, but I need to save myself. This is the only way this can go, I can’t keep taking care of everything and everyone, when I can’t take care of myself.” She thought to herself hesitantly.

Seungwan was alone in her room still in the same sitting position, but as soon as the door closed,  she began to curl up in to a ball, just like she did behind the closed doors at their home, where no one ever heard, and no one ever knew. For the first time in a long time, she felt vulnerable in front of her members. But she had every right to be. As Seungwan was curled up crying in her hospital room facing the wall, the four members that were pushed out of the room watched over her through the tiny glass window in the door. Over the buzzing of the monitors still attached to her body, the muffled cries were still heard by the four, something the four never seemed to pick up when they were at home. As they all watched her carefully through the window, knowing that Wendy was in pain, Irene finally spoke up again.

“We need to go back in there and take care of her. No matter how she pushes us away, no matter what she says to us, we have to be there for her, now more than ever.” Irene says with a fervent voice, something she knew the members needed to hear from their leader.

“But Seungwan Unnie doesn’t want us inside...” Yeri whimpered out, trying her best not to start crying more than she already was, as she understood why Wendy would kick them out, but didn’t actually expect her to. Whenever Wendy was upset or feeling any other emotion besides happiness, she would try her best not to show it, or to take it out on the other members. But for her to verbally say to their faces to get out of her room, Yeri knew from the moment she cursed at them, that her Seungwan Unnie had changed because of her anger, and she had every right to.  

“I think Joohyun Unnie is right, we need to insist on helping her no matter what. She’s always been there for us, but I still think we shouldn’t be asking her a lot of questions regarding what happened. We don’t want her to be so overwhelmed. If this was a lot for us to take in and process, how much worse would it be for her? We should just give her time to rest and heal first, and we will deal with the issue as a family.” Seulgi said to the members acting as their part time mom as Wendy was absent during the discussion. The two younger ones especially agreeing with the latter half of Seulgi’s statement, but Irene wasn’t listening. Irene stopped listening ever since she stopped talking. She was so focused on the figure through the door window, with questions running through her mind.

“Why didn’t she just tell us about her heart? Why did she drink? Why did she think it was a good option to be doing that when she knew it wasn’t good at all for her?” Even though Irene wa