"PG-13 banter b/w brofriends"

[4:02 pm]

mochi: HEY YOU GUYS

mochi: I'M BLONDE AGAIN

mochi: WOW I REMEMBER THIS FEELING

yoongi: welcome to the club

mochi: I'M A RETURNING MEMBER HOW U DOIN

destruction: wait are three of us blonde now?

lil: maybe i shud be blonde too

mochi: ew no

lil: what why??

mochi: you should do

mochi: like a dark blue color

mamaduck: ooooh yeah that would be nice

destruction: expensive probably

destruction: and fade fast

lil: why u gotta be such a downer man

destruction: hey i'm just STATING the FACTS

lil: ur FACTS are DEPRESSING

mamaduck: woah ok is it tae and joon who argue now

mochi: don't take my title

bunny: this family is so weird

lil: HEY WHAT IF I HAD PURPLE HAIR

yoongi: did jungkook seriously only come in to tell everyone he thinks we're weird

destruction: ok but what if I had SILVER HAIR

friendly: or red hair

bunny: yes i did whatchugondoboutit

friendly: joon would look good with red hair

mochi: agreed

friendly: and jimin looks hella good blonde haha you ers

destruction: he could literally send us a picture

friendly: but he won't bc he loves me the most

mochi: ummmm yeahhh.... but....

friendly: park jimin

mochi: i like showing off haha sry!

friendly: that's like the most insincere sorry i've ever received jackass

mochi: 

mochi: haha love you seokie!

friendly: no u don't liar

mamaduck: DAMN

destruction: .....wow......jiminie

bunny: holy

yoongi: what kind of playboy face is that

friendly: taehyung what do YOU think?

lil: it's ok

friendly: ,,,,,,,"it's ok"???

friendly: he looks like a GOD

mochi: aw stop it

friendly: yeah ok you always look like a god

friendly: seriously tae?????

destruction: if we're being honest he's probably teenage boy screaming into his pillow right now

friendly: ...... yeah ok i accept that

"plan impress jin"

[9:39 pm]

destruction: does anyone wanna hear a story

lil: no

bunny: probably not

friendly: no

mochi: wow i feel bad

mochi: go ahead and tell us, namjoon

destruction: ok so i went to dinner with jin tonight

lil: WOAH WOAH WOAH BAC IT UP

friendly: WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO

bunny: ok wait you were on a DATE??? no cafe serenade needed??

destruction: the fact that you guys are so uninterested in me and so invested in my love life should be telling me something about you guys as friends

friendly: but you keep us bc you can't get any other ones, continue

destruction: that was rude

lil: CONTINUE

destruction: ok okok fine

destruction: no it was not a date

lil: awwwwwwwwww

friendly: awwwwwwwwwww

bunny: then what was it???

mochi: awwwwwwwwww

destruction: seokjin doesn't like going to restaurants by himself because he always gets hit on and he learned from experience that none of y'all are reliable or care about him so he's just taken to eating with me like twice a week or whenever he doesn't wanna cook

destruction: and this time, even though i was there, a waitress hit on him kind of badly

destruction: she kept making inappropriate remarks about him

destruction: kind of like he was a piece of meat

destruction: so i jumped in and said i was his bf

lil: OOOOH

destruction: and she backed off FINALLY

destruction: when we were leaving, i grabbed his hand and looked back to glare at her

destruction: but as soon as we were out of the building, jin let go of my hand and started apologizing to me?

destruction: he was like, "i'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable"