Jimin could not bring himself to get of bed, feeling drained and angry at himself, he still could not believe what just happened, he sniffs, he shakes his head, calming his heart, but everything just felt painful, He had a headache from crying all night, his eyes were puffy. He sits up on the bed, twirling the ring, Jungkook gave him just a few weeks ago, declaring their love for each other, Jimin squeezes the pillow off his head, concealing his cry, he made the choice to take some time apart with Jungkook, but he still could not wrap his head around it, his heart in pain, he felt like he could not breath. He just wanted to go back in time to where he and Jungkook were made love for the first time during the night with the waves of the ocean crushing in and the moon illuminating their love at his family’s beach house. He did not want anyone to see him, and with no energy, he stayed in bed all day, he takes his phone, going through the pictures, of their first date at the park, they were both smiling, he smiles, just get everything sorted and everything will be alright, Jungkook will understand, why I had to do this? He consoles himself, pulling his knee closer to his chest.

It was twelve o’clock, he did not realize he fell asleep again, he was starting to feel sick, aside a massive headache he had from sobbing all night, his stomach growls, he has not eaten anything, the door opens and his mom, concern walks towards his bed, she sits on the edge of the bed,

“Are you okay?” she says, “You’ve been asleep all day.” She places her hand on his forehead,

“You don’t have a fever,” she says, “Which would be weird because who gets sick during the summer,”

“I just don’t feel well,” he mutters, pushing her hand away,

“Did something happen with Jungkook, last night, did you guys have a fight or something?” Jimin sits up quickly, he stares at his mom,

“How do you know that?” says Jimin

“Well, he had the same look on his face, that you have now,” she replies, “I just had brunch with his mom, she said he left early in the morning to go work out, he came back and locked himself in the room.” Jimin sighs, feeling guilty, he stares at his mom, hoping to hear anything else, she clears ,

“Well, whatever you guys fought about, make sure to talk it out,” she says, getting up from the bed, “Don’t sleep all day, you’ll really make yourself sick.” She heads out, closing the door behind her, Jimin grunts, exhausted both physically and mentally, he had a lot of work to do, with school starting he has to start the process of reapplying to school, which means he has to update his resume, contact the administration  and find out what he has to do to start reapplying, the thought of it made his headache worse. He curses himself for being so impulsive, but he knows he has done something to ease his parent's heart, he presses his cheeks, telling himself not to give up before starting, he already chose to do this, he can always dance even if he does not do it professionally.

After taking a shower and getting himself situated, he decided the first thing to do is quit the dance class and focus on visiting the University of Los Angeles, California to start the process of reapplying since only five weeks remained until summer ends. He eats lunch and takes a Tylenol to ease his headache, once he was done, he puts the plates in the sink and grabs his car keys, he sighs, looking around for a chance to get a glimpse of Jungkook but he was nowhere in sight. He takes a turn and heads towards the school. The ride to the school felt long and depressing, but he finally arrives, takes a deep breath and parks the car, getting off. He reaches the studio, hesitating before opening the door, walking in, staggering as he walks towards the building, he looks at the time, the lessons should be done, he sighs relieved he will not be running into Mina. The dance teacher, Maria was in the dance class, finishing up her last class of the day, Jimin smiles at her after she spots him, curious she tells the classroom to continue and walks towards Jimin, he sighs,

“Jimin,” she says, “Is everything okay, you haven’t been attending classes for a while now, even Mina didn’t say why when I asked her.” Jimin forces a smile, trying not to look in the eyes, he could not stand seeing her disappointments, he urges himself to just come out and say it quickly,

“I’m sorry,” he says, “I won’t be able to attend the class anymore, I’m going to be resigning.” Her eyes widen surprised at his sudden action, “Are you leaving for the Academy? She asks, “I thought that was not until in the fall semester.”

“Something important came up,” he says, apologizing for the sudden news, she sighs, placing her hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze,

“Okay,” she says, “I hope everything works out and good luck.”

Jimin arrives home after picking up some documents and paperwork’s from the University, it’s been three days since he decided to slow things down with Jungkook, his father was feeling better and started doing the exercises the doctor recommended for his recovery, his parents relationship seemed better, it was as if they never fought before.  He opens the door, hearing chattering from the living room, he walks into the living room, he stops in his track, surprised, his father was in the living room chatting with Jungkook,

“Jimin,” calls his father, “Jungkook is here to see you.” He clears his throat, avoiding eye contact with him, he bites his lip, anxious,

“Can we talk? Says Jungkook, looking at him, Jimin nods his head, Jungkook shakes his dad’s hand, following Jimin into his room. He closes the door, silence fills the room, neither of them talking or looking at each other. Jimin puts the papers down on top of the drawer, exhaling,

“Your father is doing well,” says Jungkook, “Ha, he ah told me you are going to start doing an internship, here in Los Angeles.” Jimin looks at him, silent for a minute.

“I…ah, I thought it about, it’s best if I stay and help my dad, you know I can dance anywhere, it doesn’t have…to be… New York,” says Jimin, stuttering over his word.

“Yeah, no that’s understandable,” says Jungkook, “Your father suffered a heart attack, it’s shocking, I just…wanted to…ah…see you.” It gets silent, the oxygen in the room deflating, Jimin suddenly felt like the walls were closing in together, Jungkook clears his throat,

“When you said you needed a break,” he says, getting straight to the point, “What did you mean?”

Jimin sighs, “I just feel like we were moving too fast too soon, right now I just want to focus on reapplying for school and doing this internship, so I can help out my father.” Jungkook nods his head,

“Is that it?” he asks, looking directly into his eyes, Jimin nods, Jungkook chuckles, “If all you needed was to slow down, why didn’t you tell me?

“I’m telling you now,” replies Jimin, “Everything just happened to fast, I just need time to think.”

“Okay,” says Jungkook, “If it’s space you want, I’ll give you your space, but I just want to tell you something, if you think playing the dutiful son role is going to solve anything, then you’re wrong, and if anything, I think you don’t give your father enough credit, you’re blind if you can’t see that he loves you.”

Jimin glares at Jungkook, hurt, “Yeah, I know my father loves me, and because I love him too, I am willing to play the role of the dutiful son, if it means his heart will be at ease…even if it means cutting ties…” his voice trails off, after realizing the things he was saying,

“Even if it means throwing away our relationship?” retorts Jungkook, “You know what, you do whatever you want hyung, you always did anyway, one minute you tell me you love and as soon as things get messy, you leave.” Jimin stands there, stunned, his heart being pierced by what Jungkook was saying but he knows he is angry, Jungkook opens the door,

“You know what?” continues Jungkook, “I just realized what a coward you are, always taking the easy way out.” Jungkook leaves slamming the door shut, Jimin exhales, clenching his teeth, wanting to be mad at Jungkook but understands he was hurting. Jimin sits down on the bed, covering his face with his hands, he knew his actions were hurting Jungkook, but he didn’t know what else to do, he wants to fix things with his father first, make him proud and then tell him the truth, he was not doubting his parents love for him, he was just terrified of the consequences, what if his mom is right? What if his father really does suffer another heart attack from finding out his only son and child, the one he put all his hopes and dreams it is not the person he wanted him to be. The pain of being a disappointment to his father was not worth the risk, his father would blame his upbringing and wild personality if he comes out now, it’s better to do it when he has proven himself to him, become the son he has wanted Jimin to be since he was born. Is it so wrong to want to please your father, even if it means shuttering your own heart in the process? Since he was young, from Busan to Los Angeles, his father has always told him the plans he had for him but Jimin being stubborn never really listened, he hated being told what to do but he felt selfish when he saw his father in the hospital, suddenly nothing else matters to him than fulfilling his father’s wishes.