It’s been a week since his father’s heart attack, he has not been to the dance class in a while, his parents and Jungkook have been blowing up his phone but he knows they would nag him about his decision to quit dancing and go back to school and major in business administration and Hospitality. He called the Dance Academy and told them he would not be able to attend and thanked them for selecting him, they were disappointed because he was the top contender but he knew he would not be able to focus on school and dance at the same time, it was a sacrifice he is willing to make, if it means helping his father with the business. He has not let his parents know yet because he has been thinking of ways to let them know without make it seem like it was their fault he came to the decision. 

He was in the work out room, dancing to clear his mind, oblivious to everything, his mom walks in the room, she turns down the music, he turns around, surprised to see her, covered in sweat and out of breath,

“Is everything alright?” he asks. She folds her arms, looking concerned, 

“I should be asking you that,” she says, “What’s going? You haven’t left the house in days.” “

He sighs, “I’m busy, I’m working on paper works.” She shakes her head still glaring at him, as if trying to read his mind,

“Well, don’t over extort yourself,” she says, walking out the room, she closes the door behind her. Jimin sighs, grabbing a towel and wiping his sweat, he opens the water bottle and gulps it down.

After taking a shower, he goes to visit his father in his home office, since he has not been to work for week, most of things he needed to be done, he decided to finish at home, Jimin knocks on the door,

“Come on in,” says his father. Jimin opens the door, his father was typing on the computer,

“Busy?” he asks, taking a seat.

“Do you need something?” asks his father, without looking at him, still typing away at the computer,

Jimin clears his throat, “I thought about what you said, and it made sense, dancing can only take me far, so I decided to pursue a different career path.” His father stops typing, looking up from the computer, bewildered,

“What brought this on? What about the dance school?” says his father, “You went through all the training to be in shape for the competition and got accepted, are you going to throw all that away.” Jimin clenches his teeth, not wanting to be upset, he forces a smile, “Sometimes, the things we want to do are not necessarily the things we should do,” he replies, “I want to be able to take care of you and mom in the future, and if that means making sacrifices, then it is worth it.”  His dad shakes his head, his face lightening up, smiling, it been a while since he has seen his father so proud of him,

“What do you have in mind?” asks his father,

“Well, I’m going back to school to study business administration and hospitality,” he says, “I know it’s a little bit late but I…if it’s okay with you, I want to try doing an internship at the hotel, so I can get some training.”

“And this is what you want to do?” reassure his father, “You’re my son, I don’t want you to feel pressured, I’m glad you are starting to grow up, there are many internship positions, but the processes are long, I’m not in charge of them so you’re going have to apply.”

“It’s fine,” says Jimin, “I just want you to be okay with it, I don’t need you to pull strings for me, I believe in my abilities, once I put my mind to doing something, I make sure I succeed.”

“Alright, if you would like a tour of the hotel, I’ll arrange it for you,” says his father, “You’re my son, I’ll help you prepare for anything you need.” Jimin shakes his head, smiling, it been a while since he sat down and had a conversation with his father, that did not result in fighting.

“Alright,” says his father.

After the talk with his father, Jimin spent the rest of the day in his room, applying for internships not only at his father’s company but varieties of other company, he ruffles his hair, he never knew it was such a pain looking for a job, at first, he wanted only paid internship but after being on the computer for hours and making phone calls, he settled for any type of internship. He sighs, already getting ready to give up, he shakes his head, giving himself a pep talk, the door opens, he turns to look, it was Taehyung,

“Ya,” says Taehyung, angry, “Is your phone not working or something? Mina and I have been calling you all week.” Jimin stares at him surprised,

“What’re you doing here?”

“Checking if you’re still alive,” says, Taehyung, his voice softening, “What’s going on buddy?” Jimin shrugs his shoulders, going back to his computer,

“Nothing,” he finally replies, “I just wanted some time alone, that’s all.”

“And you couldn’t be bothered to answer your phone,” says Taehyung.

“Look, do you need something or are you here to nag me,” says Jimin, annoyed.

“What the is your problem?” snaps Taehyung, glaring at him,

“Nothing,” says Jimin, “I’ve been busy that’s all, I don’t answer my phone for a couple of weeks, you guys are acting like it’s the end of the world.”

“You know what,” says Taehyung, “make sure you call us when you decided to stop being an ,” he walks out shutting the door behind him.

“,” says Jimin, “Just what I need.” He knows he is in the wrong, he didn’t mean to be rude to Taehyung, he understands his friends were just worried, he has been avoiding them but not because he wanted to, he knew they would never understand where he is coming from, they’ll probably make fun of him for giving in to his father demands due to shock. His phone rings and he looks at it, it was Jungkook, that was the fourth time he called but Jimin was too scared to answer the phone because he knows he would not be able to hide the truth from Jungkook.

“Hello,” he says over the receiver,

“Jimin-hyung,” says Jungkook, Jimin can tell by the sound of his voice and the use of his name that he was upset, and he had every right to be upset, Jimin clears his throat,

“Sorry, I have been unavailable these past few days,” he says, “I… have just been busy helping my dad with the paper works at home.” He bites his lips, fidgeting with his nails, that was the first time he ever lied to Jungkook, well it was not a lie, he has been helping his father but that was not the reason he did not answer Jungkook’s phone, no matter how many times he wanted to, he decided the only guarantee that his father never finds out about his uality is to spend time apart from Jungkook, until his father recovers than he will decide to tell himself. But for now, even if it means hurting Jungkook, he cannot take the chance of his father suffering another heart attack like his mom said, his heart is not strong enough to handle stress and shock. After his mom and he talked, and she asked him to keep his relationship with Jungkook a secret, he knew it would be unfair to him, but looking at his mom’s face and how worried she was, he knew he cannot afford to be selfish and inconsiderate of her request even if it means hurting Jungkook in the process.

“Hyung,” calls Jungkook over the phone, “Is everything alright, I have been waiting for your phone call, but you never called, and I came to see you yesterday, but you weren’t home.” Jimin takes a deep breath, clenching his fist, feeling like for making Jungkook worried, he shakes his head,

“Jungkook-ah,” he says, softly, “Can we meet after dinner?”

“Sure,” says Jungkook, “I’ll see you after dinner.”

“Okay,” says Jimin, “I have to finish something, I’ll see you later okay.” He hangs up the phone, sighing, frustrated, he did not know why he asked Jungkook over for dinner if he has been avoiding him, he tosses his cell on the phone, annoyed, he missed Jungkook but he just needs space to sort things out with his parents, it is not fair to keep his relationship with Jungkook a secret when he was not doing anything wrong, he decided it would be better if he just broke it off for awhile until he sorts out his life.

Jimin was quiet at the dinner table, thinking of how to talk to Jungkook, he just wanted to call and cancel the whole thing to avoid breaking his heart, terrified on how Jungkook will react to this sudden need of a break when he has not done anything wrong,

“Are you okay?” asks his mom, Jimin looks up, surprised, forgetting he was at the dinner table with his parents, he shakes his head, twirling the spaghetti,

“Having second thoughts,” asks his father.

“Second thoughts about what?” asks his mom, 

“Your son decided to turn down the dance school and go back to school,” answers his father, “He is also thinking of doing an internship at the company.” His mom turns to look at him, mouth slightly open and eyes widen,

“What brought this on? The school is everything you have been preparing for the past two years, why give it up?”

“Look, I thought about it and I just want to be helpful, as much as I love dancing, it is not going to help dad with work, I just don’t want him to be stressed out anymore,” explains Jimin, avoiding his mom’s glare, “I thought you would be happy, I’m finally acting like a grown-up.”

“I would be happy…” says the mom but before she could finish, his dad interrupted her, telling both to calm down and eat dinner,

“It’s a good thing, he is finally taking things seriously, as long as he is happy, it’s his decision, we should respect that,” says his father. It gets quiet, as his mom, shakes her head and continues eating her food, Jimin takes a small bite of his bread before excusing himself from the table.

Jimin paces back and forth in his room, his mind running, thinking of  ways he could ask Jungkook for some space without hurting him, but he knew that was impossible, no matter which scenario he went within his head, Jungkook is still going to be the one getting hurt, as he paces back and forth, the door opens, surprising him. Jungkook stood at the doorway, in black sweater and gray sweatpants, Jimin could not believe it has only been a few days that he has not seen him because it felt like he has not seen him for a month, Jimin could tell by the look on his face, he was upset,

“Your mom let me in,” he says, walking in the room, “How’s your dad doing?”

“Huh? um… he is fine,” replies Jimin, he motions for Jungkook to take a sit, but he shakes his head no,

“I’m fine, hyung, what’s going on?” asks Jungkook, in a low tone voice, Jimin bites his lip and fidgeting with his hands, he runs his fingers through his hair, trying to find the words but as soon as his mouth opens, his throat gets dry,

“Jimin?” says Jungkook looking at him, surprising him by the tone of his voice, the fact that he is upset made Jimin, terrified, what if he takes it the wrong way? I just need time to figure things out, what if he thinks I’m breaking up with him. I can’t wait another time, it was now or never.

“Um…,” says Jimin, his voice, cracking and shaking, “I just, I have been thinking and …with my dad’s heart, I…. don’t think it’s a good idea for us to see each other right now.” Jungkook folds his hands, his eyes widen at what he just heard, perplexed and hurt,

“What… did you say?” he asks, confused, “What’re you saying?”

“Look I just need time to allow my dad to recover before coming out to him,” explains Jimin, “I don’t want to give him any more problems, right now.” Jungkook snorts, unfolding his hands,

“When did I ever pressured you into coming out to your father,” he says, “I never asked you to come out to your family, so where is this coming from? What’s the real reason you want to a break?”

They have been together for weeks, as much as he loves Jungkook, he did not want to force him to hide their relationship, so taking a break for a while should be okay for both. He cannot afford to be selfish, being with Jungkook will hurt his father and lying about his relationship is unfair to Jungkook.  Jimin sniffs, feeling the lump in his throat, wanting to hug and tell Jungkook, how much he loves him but clenching his teeth, he knows it would not make things better.

I'm sorry," says Jimin, his hands shaking, "I'm sorry, I just need some time to figure things out, I'm sorry. I know this makes no sense, I'm sorry.”

Jungkook chuckles, in disbelief, biting his lips, he sniffs, Jimin could not bring himself to look at him, afraid he would burst into tears. Standing there in silence, it felt like the world just came crashing down on them and time stood still.

 "How long?" asks Jungkook, Jimin clenches his fist, he did not really think about a time frame, he was just hoping Jungkook would agree to it as selfish as that was,

"Hyung!" calls out Jungkook, "How long do you need, days? weeks? months?  I don’t know what happened to you over these few days, but this is not you,” Jungkook takes his hands, “Whatever happened, we can talk about it.”

“I just need time to figure things out,” repeats Jimin, avoiding his eyes, Jungkook exhales, 

“You’re not really serious, are you?” he says, in disbelief, Jimin looks at him, his eyes catching his, Jungkook was fierce but he was more hurt, Jimin could tell he was holding back his tears, he could not bring himself to say anything else, cursing himself for the pain on Jungkook’s face. Jungkook shakes his head, biting his lips and clenching his teeth,

“Looks like you made up your mind,” he says, his voice breaking, “take all the time you need, Jimin-ah. I …don’t know what happened, but I’ll be here when you're ready to talk.”  He holds Jimin face, at that moment, Jimin found himself unable to control his emotions, the pain came out in the form of a silent scream. Tears started falling one after another, without a sign of stopping, suddenly regretting everything he just said. Jungkook kisses on the lips, whispering I love you into his ears. He starts to walk away, taking a step back, still watching Jimin, Jimin wanted to just grab him and never let him go but he knew he could not do that, not after he just broke his heart. 

As soon as Jungkook walks out of the room, falls down to the ground, his entire body in pain,  mind running with many thoughts, feeling guilty and hating himself for breaking his heart, never in a million years did he think, he would be responsible for the pain Jungkook was in, silent, loss at words, he wanted to run after him and comfort him with all his might. He punches the carpet and tried to scream, but his voice was melted by the sound of the place. The muffled sobs wracked against his chest. The world turned into a blur, the taste, the smell, everything was gone.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, his chest tightening. ​​​​​, "I'm really sorry."