Dark circles around my eyes. I'm so sleepy right now.

How can I sleep if I'm afraid to dream like that again.

Stop thinking Sinb.

Stop.

Forget it.

And it frustrated me because I'm going to see her today. I remembered that she told me that they will have a meeting.

"Are you okay?" Dahyun, my co-worker, asked me if I'm okay, because I'm sure I'm not.

"I am" I lied, again and again. I just realized that I love to lie.

"want some coffee?, it looks like you didn't sleep?" she asked again, it's obvious look how swollen my eyes are. 

I didn't even text Yuju a 'good morning'

She handed me the coffee.

I accept it.

It would help.

"Did you heard the news?" 

News?

About what?

I just raised my eyebrow.

"Sana, our co-worker got fired, because of her being clumsy." Dahyun said taking a sip in her coffee.

I just raised my another eyebrow

Sign to continue her story.

"She reported a wrong information, her reason is she didn't double check the files." she explained 

I just lay my head on the table.

I don't care if that Sana lose her job.

I had nothing to do with her.

"And...."

I raised my head from what she said.

I raised my eyebrow again, too lazy to say something.

"Our boss said, if we recommend her a new worker that she would like and suits the job, then we can get a promotion." she said excitedly.

I put my head back to the table.

So what? I don't care.

"It's your chance Sinb" 

Chance for what? To get a promotion?

She wouldn't give me that, she hates me.

"She hates you, so if you would recommend her a good worker then maybe she wouldn't hates you anymore. then you can get your promotion. I'll help you." she said proudly.

What a nice of her.

But does her plan would work?

"You had a lot of friends. Maybe you can recommend one." she said taking a sip of her coffee again.

I sit properly.

"Oh, and why don't you recommend Yuju?, you said she wants a job?" 

Yeah, Yuju finding a job too. She wants to help her mother from working, and she needs money for her music school. My Yuju is talented you know. She works at convenient store, coffee shop, flower shop just to help her mother and for herself. So why not? It's a good idea if I recommend her here.

"I'll ask her."

I'm not sure if Yuju would like this job. She's a calm person so maybe this job suits her, I stressed out a lot in here, but Yuju I'm sure she can make through to this stress work. 

"She'll be assign to the reports, I'm sure Yuju can do that." Dahyun said proudly. She believes at my Yuju's abilities too.

"I know, she can do everything." I said proudly that she's mine.

"I hope someday I can find my own Yuju." Dahyun said teasingly.

I laugh. She's single since birth. So I hope so too that she can get someone like Yuju. She deserves it.

"I hope so too." I said then I smiled to her 

"I think we can go back to our offices now, working hours will start soon." she said then she stood up while picking up her stuffs.

I did the same too.

___________________________________________________

"Hwang, I need you to be at the meeting, and I hope you already know the news, I want you to collect all the resume of the applicant." 

"Yes ma'am." I said nicely.

"And I hope you can recommend someone to me too." she smirked.

"I'll trust you to take care of it Hwang, I need to go, I don't want my business partners to wait, and I'll expecting you to be there." she said then she leaved 

So, it's great that she's the one who's going to welcome her guests.

Not me, because I'm sure that Sound is there. I don't want to get awkward around her.

___________________________________________________

The meeting went well.

And I'm relief that Sojung is so busy at the meeting and I'm just standing at the corner of the room. I'm so thankful that we didn't have a chance to talk because I'm sure I'm going to stutter.

"So you're saying that the company that you're working at, is hiring?" Yuju asked.

I nodded. 

I headed straight to her house to tell her after work.

"Uhmmm, okay. so I need to pass my resume and go there for interview?" she asked.

I nodded again, I really hope that she would try it.

"When is the interview?" she asked again

"Maybe next week?" I unsure said, because Yerin is still busy base on her schedule so yeah, maybe next week.

"uumhh, okay I'll try. Besides if I will work there, I'm going to see you everyday. Thank you for recommending me babe." she said.

"really?!" I said excitedly.

"don't be that excited. I'm not going to work there yet, I'm just going to apply. What if your boss didn't hired me?" she said sadly 

"She will!, you're so awesome, why would she reject you?" I said encouraging her.

"Thanks babe, it'll help me a lot" she said then kiss my forehead. 

I smiled at her.

"why are you smiling like that?" she asked and hold my face.

"I'm just excited." I said.

Because I really am.

"I said don't be that excited, we're not sure yet." she said and pinched my nose.

I pout.

She kiss my nose.

"Stop being cute babe, I'll kiss you in the lips." she said teasingly.

Then do it.

Someone just took my first kiss so you can do it now.

"But, I won't do it. I promise that your first kiss would be on your wedding, correction, on OUR wedding." she said emphasizing the word 'our'.

I felt my heart sting.

I felt like a tons of truck hit me.

I don't know that the lie that I made hurts like this. I'm hurting her but she doesn't know. I'm just fooling her. I want to tell her but I don't want to lose her. I'm being selfish. But being selfish is the solution for now, but the problem is it's only for now, not for the future. Because at the future I will face the consequences. I'm sure at the future she would know. She would know that me, the person that one of she loves the most, hurts her the most, the most painful lie that I made, I don't know that a one night can ruin our relationship. She's the only one I had. I want to push Sojung away, but how? It's my fault. She didn't do that to me, I do that to her, no, We both did that, but I did that to her, first. Still, it's my fault.

I just nodded to her and fake a smile.

She hug me.

And I felt like I'm dying. Why does it hurts like this? It feels like I doesn't deserve her love. I felt my eyes gets watery. I held my tears back. 

I let go of her hug because I feel like I'm suffocating. It just one night but why does it feel like this?, I want to disappear and I want to be eaten by a shark and not gonna exist again.

"i-i need to go." I excused because I can't held back my tears anymore.

"But you just got here babe." she said.

But my tears fell down so I leave not even saying 'goodbye'.

"I'm sorry" I whispered to myself.

___________________________________________________

i don't know anymore buddie.  I hope you enjoy this. I'm bored when I wrote this so maybe my mood get applied to what I wrote. Hahaha. I hope you like it! You're free to give some ideas. :))