Dear Journal,

Today I announced to the children that I am departing tomorrow for New York. They were all sad and frowning upon my announcement. I will miss them alot. They were my first bunch and nothing feels better than teaching fresh minds about the joys of learning ABCs and 123s. 

Seunghan was particularly sad today as well. He didn't talk to me or anything til dismissal. While I was about to leave Seunghan walked in with Seungcheol holding him in his arms.

"What's the matter?" I asked them because the child was on the verge of tears.

"He said the New York will take you away from us," Seungcheol replied, "Are you really going tomorrow?" he asked with his voice drowned in seriousness and sadness. He seemed hopeful but it died when I answered yes.

He didn't say anything after that and just smiled.

"That's good....you'll shine alot there," he encouraged me, "New York could use another blessing in town."

I shouldn't even ing remember this conversation today. I don't want to.

Oh god, Seungcheol.

Since then til I can't stop thinking about him. I looked at Junhui and I see the future.

I looked at Seungcheol and it was blurry. 

Is the future supposed to be expected and well calculated? Do we have to be assured of the future? To make sure we will have a life we won't regret living? To have an aim an