The rain has been pouring for days, just like Yoongi's tears flowing in his heart, it sees no end. Standing at a far away distance in a black suit with his crutches, out of anyone's sight, Yoongi sob in silence whilst the burial ceremony of Yena took place in a family cemeterial ground. Yoongi could not bring himself in front of Yena's casket, Yena would still be alive if it weren't because she had wanted to accompany him to Seoul. It was all his fault. 

Yena's family had always been against her relationship with Yoongi, displeased that Yoongi was a college dropout and an underground musician without proper future prospect. Defying her parents and all odds, Yena had never once given up on their relationship. 

'What decision have you made Yena? Look at you now? How could I forgive myself?' 

By the time the ceremony ends, Yoongi had completely drenched, his faded blonde hair soaked and bangs covering his eyes. The heavy raindrops seem like bullets falling from the sky hitting Yoongi as a punishment from the heavens. Hours of contemplation, yet Yoongi could not muster his courage to go forward to whereYena was laid to say his final goodbye. No. Not yet. Yoongi is just not worthy. 

Yoongi turned and left.

After weeks of treatment in the hospital, Yoongi was discharged and returned to his own apartment. Everything in his apartment stood exactly the same as the day they left, the blinds in his bedroom are still up, the pile of dirty laundry, the beer cans he had the night before they left... everything. But the sight appears to be so foreign to Yoongi now as if he'd just walked into some random strangers' apartment. This place doesn't seem to belong to him anymore, all he can feel is the void within the walls of his apartment slowly creeping onto him. It's almost suffocating to be in that house, at some point Yoongi began spending his nights in the underground basement that his band uses for practice instead of sleeping in the comfort of his apartment bed. But things did not seem to get any better, Yoongi would wake up each night to the same horrifying dream of the crash, shaking and crying. Yoongi couldn't focus on his music anymore, life is slowly falling apart for Yoongi. 

One night,

"What the f*** is this band? What ty music is this?" A rather annoyed pub customer yelled.

"Sir! We are so sorry. Our original band soloist is down with the flu. So we had to get this band to cover them just for the night, we promise we will not have this issue again. My sincere apologies." The manager of the pub gave Yoongi and his two other band members a death stare, he was furious. 

"I am not paying you guys! You guys messed up my business with your ty songs and you call yourself musicians? Get out of here!" While the other two band members tried to negotiate with the pub manager, Yoongi just stomped out of the pub, kicking over a chair along his way out.

"Yoongi. What's wrong with you?! How many times do we need to screw things over and end up in just because of you?!"

"Exactly! We know you are upset about your girlfriend, but c'mon! We've been careful all these while to not hurt your feelings and let all of your childish crap slide, but wake up, will you?! Yoongi, she is not freakin' coming back!!" 

"SHUT UP!" Yoongi almost threw a punch towards his bandmate's face but held back.

"If you're going to be like this, then we will end it here tonight, Yoongi. Let's all go our separate paths." 

"Fine!"

Sliding his guitar over his shoulder, Yoongi walked off and returned to his apartment. The suffocating feeling came to him like a wave, it is just too hard to stay in that house, closing the door behind him, Yoongi went and sat down on the rooftop of his apartment building. Lighting a cigarette before staring into the distant night sky. 

'Yena.. you saw that? I'm such a worthless piece of trash. I'm good for nothing. I can't even do music now. I guess this is my punishment.' 

Yoongi gave his cigarette a drag before he starts to sob. Tears fell like rain, just as the day when the last farewell was not made. Staring at the night sky polluted by lights rather than stars that he wished he would get to see, Yoongi passed out from his exhausting cries. 

'It'll be ok, silly." 

Yoongi woke up to a vibration from his phone, indicating a received email. 

Dear Mr. Min Yoongi,

Hi. I hope you are doing well for the past months. I'm not sure if you remember me, but I definitely remember you. I'm the one that got you out from your seat that day. I've wanted to meet you after all those things that happened, but unfortunately, I did not get the chance and you left. It took me awhile to get your contacts, I hope this email actually reaches you. I know this is random and probably does not make any sense but I've got a house in Seoul, I wonder if you would like to join our meetup next week for all the survivors and probably spend a few days over at my house? For vacation perhaps? It's up to you though, just thought that you might want to come. This is my personal email, you could always drop me an email. 

Take care. 

- Kim Seokjin