"Are you kidding me? Suicide? Why would he do that?" Yoongi wasn't convinced at all with Namjoon's answer. 

"Even if it is an overdose on whatever pills he is taking, it does not mean he is taking his own life!" Yoongi is both worried as hell and in denial. Seokjin was never such a person that would kid around with life like that, not in a million years. 

"B-but hyung, I saw ... I saw..." Namjoon holding back his tears, trying to act composed. Both arguing in the hospital corridor in front of ER without any news of Seokjin.

"What the hell you saw?!" 

"Marks, cut marks, scars on his wrist. I've never noticed that until now. They are not new marks but definitely cut marks." 

"What?!" Yoongi was beyond shock to learn that. But just as they both continue their argument, they came to a sudden halt. Taehyung is standing at the corridor, still in his school tracksuit and backpack staring at them. 

"Oh no. Taehyung-ah. " Namjoon rushed over to pull Taehyung into a hug. 

"It's not what you think. Seokjin hyung will be fine." Namjoon and Yoongi knew the boy heard what he shouldn't be hearing, they did not intend for Taehyung to know the details as yet but blame the bad timing, Taehyung heard every single word. Taehyung is violently pushing Namjoon's arms away from him, whimpering noises escapes Taehyung's throat. They have never heard noises like that from Taehyung before, the boy must be distress, worried and shock. 

"Taehyung calm down. Seokjin hyung will be ok, he is fine. Calm down." After the almost endless struggle in Namjoon's arm, Taehyung managed to broke away, his tears too, scaring Namjoon and Yoongi because, for them, a crying Taehyung is also a first time. Taehyung had only shown his tears to Seokjin and no one else.

Namjoon and Yoongi stood frozen and watched the younger cry. Seokjin is his only family now, what else could they expect from the boy? It's almost like living the nightmare yet again. Oh Lord, have mercy on the boy. 

The three sat on the corridor bench in silence, waiting for the news of Seokjin, hoping it was nothing but a very bad prank. Then, the doctor came.

"Family of Mr. Kim Seokjin?"

"Friends, but yeah."

"Alright, We manage to stabilize Mr.Kim, and as what you guys might have already guessed, it's an overdose on sleeping pills, which was suspect to have happened due to his alcohol consumption along with the pills. He is stable now but because of the delay in treatment, he wasn't in a really good condition, plus he is malnourished and seriously sleep deprived. We need to monitor him further. He will come around soon enough." The doctor was calm in his explanation, seeing how white his hair is, he must be very experienced. At least Seokjin is in good hands. 

"Is-is it a suicide?" Yoongi has to confirm his doubt, he just needed the answer badly.

"Suicide? Well, I can't be sure with the patient's state of mind but all I can say is that it is true Mr. Kim took more than the prescribed amount of the medication however it is just borderline, most suicides, in my opinion, will exceed the amount Mr.Kim took, I would not conclude but there is a likely possibility that it's just an unfortunate accident. Sleeping pills nowadays are not lethal as it is years back for an overdose but he consumed alcohol along with the pills, that probably caused it... But for him to take sleeping pills and alcohol, I would say is best you all could pay attention to the patient's mental state." The doctor took his leave after done explaining to the three of them.

"So... so he might not have the intention to kill himself? But then the scars? And why is he on sleeping pills anyway?" Yoongi is beyond confused now, worse for Taehyung, trying his very best to understand what exactly are the 'adults' going on about. 

There's no answer. All they could do is wait, for Seokjin himself to tell them what exactly is going on.

 

*******

 

The school bell rang 15 minutes ago, Seokjin had excused himself to the washroom for more than half an hour now ever since Mrs. Song's Biology class started. The class ended, the school day ended, yet no sign of Seokjin's return. Seokjin's bag and belongings still scattered over his desk, untouched.

It must be them again. 

Jihwan stood up from his seat just two rows behind Seokjin's in a now pretty much vacant classroom and head for the washroom. 'I swear, I am going to kill those bastards!' Jihwan pulls his fingers into a fist, loosen his tie and stomped out of the classroom. Seokjin is a quiet kid, a nerd for all Jihwan knew, they are classmates but not that close per se, the 'hi-bye' type, perhaps. It's been a while that Seokjin's behavior caught Jihwan's attention, well, not just Jihwan, the whole school, in fact, only teachers are stupid enough to not noticed his change. A 'Bbang Shuttle' they called him, Seokjin's new nickname. 

Jihwan sprint rapidly through the long school corridors reaching the secluded boy's washroom at the far end of the school building. It has always been this washroom, all the crap that happened in there since the school was built decades ago, it's a horrible schools history, a history silently kept that only students knew. Jihwan wonders why is the washroom even there in the first place, the architecture is just plain weird. 

Jihwan enters the washroom with a racing heart, it's strange, Jihwan was always cool and calm, he could still enjoy his gum during a fist fight, no problem. The eerie and silent washroom, however, gives him goosebumps, Jihwan is borderline considering calling himself a coward, a sissy now. Jihwan pushes the washroom stalls' door open one at a time, the first five yield an empty cubicle and then he arrived at the last one. It's locked, from the inside. 

Jihwan knocked. "Hello?" No answer. "Kim Seokjin?" Silence. Then the sound of something light falling on the floor time was heard, a sound almost like a pen rolled across the floor. Jihwan's heart skipped a beat, there is definitely someone inside. Kim Seokjin. Jihwan starts pushing and knocking on the door hard, but the door won't budge unless he plans to just forcefully tear it down. But no way, too many consequences of doing that, the teachers will be after him for vandalizing school property. Jihwan went into the cubicle beside it and climbed on top of the toilet bowl, pushing himself over the partition to get a glimpse of what is inside of that locked washroom stall from above. 

There he is. Kim Seokjin. Slumped sitting and leaning against one side of the wall with a blood pool around the floor he sat, his once grey school pants soaked with his own blood. A blade was seen laid just inches beside his right hand and an angry cut lined through his left wrist. It's just like a crime scene, bloody and terrifying. Jihwan almost fell off the toilet bowl he was standing tip-toed, choking on his own spit. A surge of panic rushed through his spine, Oh my god! What is this? 

Snapping back to reality, Jihwan forces himself over the partition, now inside of Seokjin's cubicle. 

"Kim Seokjin! Hey!" Jihwan called out, miraculously, Seokjin opened his eyes, dully staring into Jihwan's eyes. 

"Ji-Jihwan?" Seokjin was surprised to see Jihwan, because he was never expecting to be seeing anyone except God, or maybe the devil. He's probably going to hell for killing himself anyway, so it's the devil then, Seokjin thinks to himself. But why Jihwan? 

"Hey buddy, hang in there. I'll get you out of here." Jihwan took the toilet roll and pressed it against Seokjin's bleeding wrist, ignoring the weak hiss escaping Seokjin's throat. Jihwan then took off his tie and bound it over the toilet roll pressed on top of the wound. A temporary measure to stop the bleeding. 

"Wh-why...wha.." Seokjin wanted to ask something, he is very confused. This isn't what he was planning, Jihwan shouldn't be in the picture. But everything was so fuzzy for Seokjin, he had no idea what's going on. 

"Stay with me ok? You'll be fine." That's the last sentence Seokjin heard before waking up in a hospital bed. 

 

"Hey, you're awake. Need me to get you the doctor?" The first sentence Seokjin heard when he came around to his senses. Jihwan. Why is he here again? Wait! Where am I?!

 

Jihwan seems to be able to read Seokjin's mind before he could even spell it out with his tongue. "You're in the hospital, you...ermm you attempted suicide in the school washroom." Jihwan was looking at him with sad but gentle eyes. There's a sudden shame built up inside of Seokjin, Jihwan must have thought how pathetic he is to try taking his own life. 

 

"Don't worry, No one except our school nurse Miss Choi and our homeroom Mr. Park knows about it. We'll keep it a secret, no one will know.  Don't feel bad about it, you've just made a wrong choice. We all do sometimes.Just...Just don't do it again." Seokjin didn't really know how to react, he was so ashamed of himself, he desperately needed a hole to crawl into. 

 

"Seokjin... it's them right?" Jihwan asked. Without himself realizing, tears have been falling mercilessly from Seokjin's eyes. "Why do you keep it to yourself? You could have told the teachers, and they can put a stop to those bastards, they have hurt so many people already." That's what Seokjin hates about himself, hating how weak he was to not have the courage to stand up against the bullies. 

 

"The teachers won't care." Seokjin finally spoke, convincing himself believe it was a legit excuse. "They do. Even if they don't, there is still someone that cares about you, you are not alone." 

 

"No. You don't understand. They will keep coming, they won't let it slide." 

 

"I'm going to make a report tomorrow to the principal." 

 

"No. Jihwan, please! They will come after you! They have some gangsters backing them."

 

"Oh yeah? Let them come then. I wanted to punch that disgusting soul out of them so badly already." Among all people that Seokjin knew, there hasn't been anyone that holds justice and integrity as religiously as Jihwan, he was just the kind that would not stand at the sidelines to watch others being bullied, just like his police brother that Jihwan loves to brag about, a good man that Jihwan resembles so much without knowing. 

 

It wasn't easy for Seokjin. Depression was what he was diagnosed with after months of bullying and low self-esteem. Seokjin and Jihwan had became the best of friends after that incident, and that wasn't the last time Jihwan came to Seokjin's rescue. There had been a few suicides attempts, but every time, Seokjin was lucky enough to have Jihwan stopping him before things get worse. Jihwan had always lookout for Seokjin, even getting into fights with the bullies. When the police start to get involved, that's when the school bullying stopped and Seokjin can finally breathe. It took a painfully long period for Seokjin to get to terms with himself, but thanks to Jihwan, all Seokjin's bad memories with the bullying, beating, insulting, threatening, humiliating, torturing, all gone, and most of all, he's no longer the emotional and physical slave to his depression anymore. They graduated high school happily like any other youth and went on to chase their dream together in Seoul, attending college, making friends, embracing life. 

 

Seokjin knew deep down if it wasn't for Jihwan that day. He would be dead in that disgusting washroom stall, end of story. He won't have a chance to feel the freedom he had, to display the confident side of himself that he'd never knew he was capable of, and the joy life brings. Jihwan, his best friend saved his life. 

 

*******

 

Seokjin felt heavy. Heavy on his eyelids, his lips, his chest, his head, his limbs, every single part of his body. There's a force pulling him back to slumber again, but also the urge to wake up as he can hear voices and movements of people shuffling around him. Fighting back the heaviness on his eyelids, he opened his eyes with much effort.

 

"Oh my god! Hyung!" The first figure that came to sight was Namjoon, staring at him with watery eyes. Seokjin squints and blink his eyes to adjust himself to the brightness of the lights that came his way to realize Taehyung and Yoongi was also staring at him. 

 

"Hyung, don't move. Just stay there." Yoongi gently pressed Seokjin back to his pillow when Seokjin attempts to push himself up.

 

"Where am I?" Seokjin asked with a hoarse voice, rusty from not using his vocal chords for too long. 

 

"In the hospital." Yoongi replied.

 

"What happened?" Seokjin asked innocently while others stared at each other and back to him, troubled. 

 

"You ... you... ermm...." 

 

"I what?" 

 

"Why did you do that?"

 

"Do what?" Seokjin is seriously confused. What's with the three of them? 

 

"Su-Suicide." 

 

"Suicide?" Seokjin clearly does not remember himself doing that. 

 

"Hyung. Do you not remember?" Namjoon asked.

 

"Of course I don't remember because I did not kill myself." Seokjin almost going to crack up.

 

"You..you didn't?" Namjoon had his eyes wide staring down at Seokjin.

 

"Why would I commit suicide? What gives you the idea I did?" 

 

"The sleeping pills, alcohol and.... and ... the scars on your wrist." Namjoon spilled all his evidence of proving Seokjin is suicidal. 

 

Seokjin laughed weakly. "I couldn't sleep so I took the pills, and the alcohol... well, I was having some really bad nightmares so... I thought a few cans would help. As for the scars ... I'm sorry you get to see them, I did some really stupid things back when I was younger, but I've never had a single thought of doing it again." 

 

Seokjin could tell how relief the three are after hearing his explanation.

 

After a moment for Seokjin's words to sink into them, Yoongi speaks up. "Hyung, you were overdosed with the pills when Namjoon found you, we were all so worried something bad might happen to you." 

 

"I'm really sorry guys. I should have taken more precaution when I took the pills, I was desperate to just doze off, I wasn't thinking straight. I'm sorry." 

 

"Hyung, is there something bothering you? It's just... it's not like you to take pills and alcohol, I've never seen you like that." Namjoon asked with concerned eyes.

 

"I-I dunno. Ever since that day we went to the theme park, the nightmares about the plane crash kept coming. I just can't get it out of my head. It.. it hurts."

 

"The theme park? Why?" . Why are they asking him? Seokjin wasn't prepared to tell anyone about it. To be honest, Seokjin was pretty proud of himself to be able to block himself away from all those painful images of the tragedy for so long that he was convinced that he had successfully overcome whatever scars that incident has caused him. He was doing such a 'great' job on recovery, why now? Seokjin felt like all his efforts are just seconds away from crumbling down now. And he didn't notice, he was shaking. 

 

"Hyung. Relax. Look at me! Hey. Hyung!" Yoongi had moved nearer to Seokjin and held his hands. 

 

"Ji-Jihwan." Seokjin called out before bursting into tears. It was alarming for the three of them, it was the first time Seokjin, their kind and strong hyung brokedown in front of them like that. 

 

"Jihwan?" They dare not push further, considering Seokjin was already weak from the overdose and his violent cries, afraid that Seokjin might pass out again. It took hours before Seokjin manages to calm himself down and he is ready to tell them his story for the very first time.

 

"Jihwan was my best friend." Seokjin started. "He's one of the casualties of that plane crash, I was with him that day." 

 

"I was supposed to be sitting in the seat beside the aisle, but I hated seats like that, Jihwan knew, and he volunteers to swap with me after the plane took off, if we did not swap the seat, he would still be alive." Tears came rolling down Seokjin's cheek once again. 

 

"Jihwan had a metal rod punctured through him from behind his seat." Seokjin buries his face in his palms, trying to wipe away all the tears but they kept coming. 

 

"When I came around and found him in that state, I-I really don't know what I should do. I can't help him, I can't save him. He was barely holding on to his last breath, I was just uselessly crying, he turned to me and ...and t-told me to 'live' before his passed away." 

 

"Live. That's was the last thing he told me. To 'live'... Why must he always play hero to save me? He should have saved himself, he should have lived, not me, I should have been dead so many times." 

 

"That day in the theme park, when Jungkook and the few of you are playing with the foam swords and pretending to get pierced, the scene of Jihwan before he died just... came... it's not your fault, Taehyung-ah please don't cry. It's just me remembering it." 

 

"Then, the nightmares follow, I couldn't sleep, I really wanted to forget it, I tried, but..." Seokjin noticed the others are all crying. He felt bad for them, he still wonders if he did a right decision to tell them. 

 

"Guys. Don't worry. I would never take my own life, Jihwan gave me his life, I owed him my own." He wanted to assure the three and comfort them.

 

"Hyung. Why are you so stupid!" Yoongi's words took Seokjin by surprise. "You've always told us to tell you about our problems yet you suffer on your own! How stupid is that?!" 

 

"I-I just .. just.." Seokjin lost for words. Indeed, Seokjin had always kept things to himself but told others to share their worries with him. Such a hypocrite. 

 

"Listen hyung. You'll have to tell us all your problems from now on, we don't care how petty it may be, but we have the rights to know since you've known ours' already. It should be fair." Yoongi demanded but trying to sound less serious, wanting to lighten the mood. 

 

"Yeah, I agree with Yoongi hyung. Don't think we won't understand what you've been through, we are on the same plane! And what I saw was nothing better than yours anyway." Namjoon remembering his brother.

 

"Hyung. Please tell me when you are hurt." Taehyung too signed. 

 

Seokjin was touched. 

 

*******

 

 

ONE AND A HALF YEAR LATER

 

 

"Oh my god!!! 3 minutes and 33 seconds!!!" Jungkook looking at his stopwatch shouted.

 

"Jimin hyung! You've just broken your record again for the third time this week! Namjoon hyung please pay up!" 

 

"What the hell Jungkook! When was this a betting game for you guys?!" Jimin snapped. Jimin was improving on his muscle strength and nerves reflex on his back and legs, he is able to hold himself to stand up with the help of a walking frame for a longer duration now, without the help of anyone of course. They are all hopeful that Jimin may really get to walk again in the near future. 

 

"Are you guys ready yet? And Yoongi, stop wearing those mask and cap, no ones' gonna recognize you ok!" Seokjin shouted from the kitchen, making them breakfast and eyeing a full black all covered up Yoongi appearing in front of him. 

 

"Tae-ah! It's breakfast time!" Seokjin shouted again. Another five minutes went by, still no sign of Taehyung yet. Seokjin then approached Taehyung's room and found the boy doing his homework, Seokjin had only came to realize not long ago that Taehyung is actually a really studious kid, the amount of time he spends on studying sometimes even worries Seokjin, but it could just be the KSATs approaching, Seokjin was happy that Taehyung finally had goals he is aiming for, unlike the other two high schoolers Jimin and Jungkook that are more laid back in their studies. 

 

"Tae? What're are you doing? Homework?" Seokjin quietly approached the boy, when Taehyung realized Seokjin was behind him, he flinched and tried to hide what he was doing. 

 

"Kim Taehyung! Are you hiding something? Show me!" Before Taehyung could get 'it' out of Seokjin's sight, Seokjin snatched the book away from Taehyung. The cover of the book reads 'High School Calculus Part I' with the name scribbled underneath 'Jeon Jungkook'. Again! Taehyung had been doing Jungkook's homework for him. Seokjin shook his head. 'That brat!' 

 

"Where's Hoseok?" Everyone had gathered at the dining table, except for Hoseok. 

 

"Oh, Hoseok hyung went to the dance academy this morning to collect something and ask for a day off today. He'll be back any minute now." Jimin answered while chewing on his breakfast. Sure enough, Hoseok appeared not long after. It has been three months since Hoseok started dancing again, but this time he took up the post of a hip hop dance instructor for kids and teens. He is really enjoying his job and Jimin was really happy for him, same goes for the others. 

 

It's weird yet amazing how all of them came back to Seoul and ended up living together again, this time for good. Jungkook get to convinced his aunt to allow him to attend high school in Seoul and Jimin too transferred to Seoul for his last year of high school, partly also because of a reference to a specialist doctor in Seoul that could help Jimin with his physiotherapy. Of course, his best buddy Hoseok just have to come along. Yoongi debuted a month ago, with a single that was steadily climbing up the charts, since he told the company he wanted more privacy and space for his inspiration to make music, he was allowed to move out of the cramped dorms. Namjoon, on the other hand, had quit his job as an English language tutor and now works as an editor for an English Korea-based magazine, and most of all, he moved in to stay with everyone else. All of them insisted to pay Seokjin rent, though Seokjin initially refused, but he reckoned it would allow all of them to have a sense of belonging where they too contribute to the 'family', as they now call themselves. Seokjin graduated college and works for a huge firm now, juggling work and home as he always was. Sometimes he's tired but the happiness and content with his current life is enough to chase all the bad things away. 

 

 

*******

 

 

"All set? Let's go!"

 

It's the second anniversary of the tragic KZ108 plane crash that shocked the nation, claiming 92 lives, leaving 21 survivors, and 7 of them are on their way to the crash site memorial. 

 

*******

 

"Dad, Mom, Dami. I'm back. I'm living in Seoul now, guess what! I am a high school student now, finally! I really hope all of you could come to my orientation and my graduation... But I know you all are watching over me. Aunty Mikyung and my hyungs here all came for my orientation, I'm really happy." -Jungkook

 

"Mom. I'm sorry I couldn't come here so often, I really wish I could see you again. I'm doing well, Mom... did you sent Seokjin hyung for me? I've never thought I'll ever get a home again. Thank you mom. I love you." -Taehyung

 

"Our crazy dance crew, how we missed the days where we spent countless hours drenched in sweat but drowned in laughter practicing. We hope you guys are happy, and happy for us too. Hoseok hyung is dancing again, isn't that amazing? And Jimin, he can stand! He will be able to walk in no time!" - Hoseok, Jimin

 

"Hey Hwijoon, it's your clumsy hyung here. I missed you so much man! I'm doing great. I guess I'll just see your handsome face now, I'll be sure to remember how good looking you are, I'm jealous though. Haha. By the way, I've never lost my passport once in two years now. Cool huh? Will see you again. Love yah!" -Namjoon

 

"Yena..... I guess you weren't lying at all when you told me 'It'll be ok'. I ermm... I made it. I'm sorry I was such a coward back then, I didn't even have the courage to send you off, to face you, to tell you how much I love you. Please forgive me. I love you Yena." -Yoongi

 

"Jihwan-ah. I really thought I would die when I lose you. You're always there for me. I really owe you big time man! 'Live' ... I'll remember what you say. Thank you pal." -Seokjin

 

 

*******

 

 

"Okay! Time to go! ... Where's Taehyung?" 

 

"That boy loves to wander off on his own, I'll go get him. You guys can head for the car, we'll catch up." Seokjin sigh and went on to search for Taehyung. 

 

The weather is great, flowers are blossoming, the birds chirping. Seokjin found Taehyung kneeling down on his knees underneath a huge tree not far away from the memorial hall, blowing puffs of wild dandelion he found, plucking up one and held it in his hands blowing it lightly, watching the white feathery seed pods being carried away by the wind. Taehyung turned and saw Seokjin, Taehyung beamed brightly.

 

"Huuong (Hyung)"

 

 

 

END

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

This is the final chapter for 'Mending Our Hearts' ... It's a crazy journey for me writing this, as much emotional roller coasters all of you may have felt while reading this, I felt the same too. To be honest, I get so caught up with the characters, I myself sometimes ended up in a crying mess. This is a longer chapter, I didn't feel the need to split it to another chapter, somehow it just felt right to end it like that. I apologize if it wasn't the ending you've expected it to be. But I want to thank all of you for supporting my first fanfic here. Love all of you! <3

 

p/s: Do you know the meaning of Dandelion? :)