“I can’t believe it’s been eight years,” Kyungsoo hums as Jongin takes a seat right beside Sehun, the boys are looking at Haewon’s bed.

“I still can’t forget Kyungsoo’s are-you-ing-with-me stare when you told us that you guys were expecting,” Taemin recounts the image in his head.

“But you guys are amazing, I mean no one other than this boy could ever get together with their high school sweetheart.” Jongin nods at Taemin who quicky throws him a glare.

“We were expecting excitedly but then things happened and it all went downhill,” Sehun sighs as he tkes a sip of his coffee, the boys looks at him worriedly.

“I thought she was getting better,” Kyungsoo looks at Sehun who nods, “She was but then ths happened.” Sehun takes a glance at the sleeping Haewon.

“Don’t worry, she’ll be back.”

Sehun smiles vaguely at that sentence, words he’ve heard thousand times.

“You know, that’s why you insist to be here everyday.” Jongin reads through his best friend face, Sehun looks up to him. He could never understand how Jongin could clearly read what’s on his mind but he’s grateful. Jongin knew back then what happened in his mind but he respect Sehun’s decision to not tell him or anyone else.

“You guys have been through a lot, be strong.” Taemin shakes his head, none of them could ever imagine what both Sehun and Haewon had been through.

“So, any plans for the holiday?” Haewon turns to her left only to see Sehun standing right beside her, she almost yelp in surprise and Sehun just laughs at her.

“Nothing much, cuddling in my living room while binge watching movies. Well, you could say nothing though. You?” Haewon answers him while closing her locker. “Not much, hanging around with the others maybe?” he answers as they walk to the class together.

“Do you have anything to do today?” he asks again.

“The girls are sleeping over so I have a lot of things to do,” Haewon says though she instantly feels sorry because she knows he has a plan for them.

“Nah, how about this Saturday?” Sehun turns to her before they reach her class, she stops too and then shakes hr head.

“Great, see you on eleven.” he smiles brightly at her and then leaves her, Haewon chuckles as she looks at him walking away to his class. She walks up to her seat as Eunyoung just arrived.

“Oh gosh, it’s too early”

Eunyoung rubs her hands together as she walks to her desk. She puts off her coat and then quickly turn it into a pillow for her head. Jisoo shakes her head at her, “Describe early, Jang Eunyoung. Ten minutes before the bell?” she looks at her phone before putting it back in her pocket. Areum laughs at that before looking at Haewon who brings her novel to sleep on and setting up her earphone through her jacket.

“I think I saw Sehun smiling as he pass by.”

Haewon puts her left earphone before looking at Areum who’s grinning like a kid who just steal other kid’s candy.

“Stop it, you’re creepy.” Haewon says and the girl right beside her just laughs. “Oh, come on. Admit it, you’ve been glowing with love since you spending more time with him.” Areum nudges her but Haewon just rolls her eyes as she plays her playlist and sleeps on her left side so her earphone won’t be seen.

“Well, the whole school know you guys are actually a thing. So, stop denying things.” Jisoo jumps in to Areum’s teasing game. They’ve been doing that much lately especially whenever Sehun approaches their table during lunch (it’s snowing, the rooftop are filled with the snow and no one bothers to clean it up so they both have to join the lunch in cafeteria) or simply saying hi. Haewon complains because they’re not in junior high anymore but her friends are unstoppable so she’s having no luck in stopping them.

“You don’t do this to Eunyoung, it’s not fair.” Hawon complains, “Yeah, you guys say nothing about me.” Eunyoung mumbles but the other two still can hear them.

“It’s a different case, you’ve given up on boys for years while Eunyoung have like three…? Or four?” Jisoo looks at Areum for confirmation, Haewon’s seatmate raises her fingers forming four. “Four exes in the span time you’ve given up. Fun fact?” Eunyoung raises her head to throw Jisoo and Areum an annoyed expression, “Well, that’s kinda true though so…” Eunyoung shurgs as she thinks about it again. Areum looks at the girl right in front of her weirdly.

“The point is we’re really really really excited so put up with our teases because it won’t stop for a while,” Areum says and Haewon just chuckles.

The bell rings and the teacher enter the classroom. Today is the last day of school before the winter break starts, the report card will be given and they have two months holiday for the winter. Some are excited, some are scared because they know they kind of messed up their exams. On the last day of school, the girls have this tradition to sleep over at one of their house and today they’re sleeping over at Haewon’s. Binge watching movies while gossiping and cuddling is the best way to kick in your holiday.

Sehun checks his phone as the other students settle up in their own seat, Jongin just get back from the bathroom and sits right beside him.

“So, when will you seriously ask her?” the tan boy asks as he unlocks his phone, Sehun looks at his mate for a while before chuckles.

“This week, maybe?” Jongin groans at the vague answer.

“Seriously, what are you waiting for? You both are made for each other and I’m not even joking about it.” Jongin asks him again, Sehun locks his phone before answering his question.

“I need time, plans, everything. She’s not some random girl you could find so it should be planned.” Sehun answers which makes Jngin whistles at his answer.

Jongin doesn’t respond but only staring at him, “What do you like that much about her? No offense, just curious.” he asks him again. Their conversation suddenly become a serious one. The boy thinks for a while,

“I’m not going to say that she’s not like most girls because each and every one of them have their own colors. If you asks me why I’m attracted to her then the anwer is that she’s she. She’s just the way she is, sometimes she could look cool and brave but she’s also the very same girl who thinks she doesn’t deserve anything  and vulnerable. I’ve seen her in those times and she’s seen me in my worst, she listens to my worries and we try to heal each other’s wound. She understands how I feel and oddly I could understand perfectly what she means, what she feels.”

Sehun finishes his last sentence and Jongin still looking at him, can’t believe the words that just came out of him.

“I know there are some things that you don’t talk with me or the boys and I totally understand that so it feels awesome to see that you have found someone to talk about it.”

Sehun looks at Jongin, quite surprised but then again they’ve been together for years so it is very possible for him to know what’s going on in his mind. They’ve been friends since diaper, it is weird for Sehun for not telling him everything but then again he doesn’t know where to start. It just feels good to know that his mate respect his decisions.

“In that case, congratulations Oh Sehun.” Jongin pats his shoulder while laughing, Sehun furrows his brows.

“You have successfully moved on.”

“A least I have no C this time.”

Eunyoung smiles as she put her report card back in one of her notebook as the teacher just dismissed them and the winter break officially starts. Areum looks at her report card and then shrug, “No one’s going to see this anyway,” she put it away and clean up the locker under her table. Haewon looks at her own report card and then smile, ‘I did some great job this time’ she mutters to herself.

“How come you always ranked first?”

Eunyoung looks at Jisoo’s report card, the girl just laughs. “Dude, you’re talking to someone whse sister ranked first on last year’s SAT.” Areum shakes her head as they stand up and get ready to leave the class. “But that doesn’t mean I’m that kind of genius too though,” Jisoo shakes her head at her sister’s achievement being mentioned. “But it means your brain is genetic, I thin most of my brain part goes to EUnwoo. He always managed to at least ranked third.” Eunyoung chuckles.

They leave the class and then go to their locker to pack their stuffs. The hallway is filled by the students asking each other about the winter break’s plan or simply talking about their recently given report card. Haewon reaches her locker which is right at the last row of the hallway. She’s going to open it but then stops when she sees a small bouquet of rose and baby breath placed in the opening of her locker. She frowns as she picks it up, she stares at her favorite flowers and then turns the mini bouquet around to see a very familiar handwriting on it.

‘See you on Saturday’

Haewon smiles because she knows who put it on her locker’s door. She opens her locker and then starts to pack her things, makes sure nothing is left behind. She put her novels and her spare hoodie that she has in the locker in her bag. After she’s done, she locks her locker and wait for her friends while staring at the flowers.

“So he ended up—Oh my god what is that?” Eunyoung stops talking as soon as she sees the flower in Haewon’s hand.

Haewon looks up and just smile as they pushes them to keep walking, “Is that from Sehun?” Jisoo asks excitedly. Haewon just smiles and the girls teases her even more.

“A bold statement everybody, a very bold statement. How does he know this is your favorite flowers?” Areum wonders as they walking out of the school, “They’ve been hanging out and spending time together, it would be weird if he doesn’t though.” Areum agrees with Jisoo. Haewon shakes her head at her friend, they bicker a lot about her and Sehun.

“Do you guys have any request for dinner?” Haewon asks as they leave the school’s main gate, “Kimchi stew please! I love your stew,” Eunyoung bgs and Haewon nods. “Is there anything that you don’t like?” Areum looks at Eunyoung as if the shorter girl is an alien or something. “What about lunch?” Haewon asks again, “That pancake right next to your apartment coomplex would be good, I’m craving for it” Jisoo says while blowing hot air to her hands.

“Okay, let’s go”

“Whose house are we going to?” Taemin asks excitedly as he slams his locker door, he’s excited to start his winter break like any other students.

“Kyungsoo’s!” Jongin and Sehun high fives, Kyungsoo throws them a look. “Why?” he locks his locker and then join the boys.

“Because your house has loads of foods and snacks,” Sehun shrugs, “Also, no annoying sister to disturb you in the middle of a movie just to help her bring her packages to her bedroom.” Jongin nonchalantly says. The boys laugh together at Jongin’s words.

The boys walk to the subway station together, the station is quite crowded. “So, you’re asking her out right?” Taemin asks Sehun. The boy in questioned just nods, “Told you, things are getting serious. Right, Soo?” Jongin nudges Kyungsoo who nods along Jongin’s words. “I feel like a proud mom seeing her son asking a girl out, I’m sorry.” Taemin fake whipping his non existent tears which followed by Jongin’s role to pat his back. Kyungsoo shakes his head and Sehun can’t help but laughing at the sight.

“Wait, isn’t that Hewon and her friends?”

Kyngsoo’s words stop Jongin and Taemin’s little soap opera while Sehun looks at where Kyungsoo is looking at. Haewon and her friends are talking just a couple feets away from them.

“Talking about destiny,” Jongin devily laughs that earn him Sehun’s snort. Sehun decides not to greet her because he wants to let her having her own time with her friends. He sees the flower bouquet he put on her locker’s door in her hand and then smiles, he knows she knows. He slips the boquet right before the bell rings, he would rather give her by himself but then decides to slip it on her locker.

The train for her route comes and then she steps in the train. Sehun sees her and as she turns around, she sees him and they have a short eye contact. He smiles at her and she raises the bouquet in her hand mouthing ‘Thank you’ which he replies with a nod. She then returns to speak with her friends again as the train leave the station.

“That was some real romantic ,” Kyungsoo comments, “Don’t be jealous, I’m sure youll find someone.” Taemin put his arms around Kyungsoo’s shoulder but then the shorter male just throws him a look.

“Stop throwing me that look, it’s creepy.” Taemin complains, “You deserve it, stop complaining.” Kyungsoo replies while the other two just laugh at them.

“Is your dad’s home?” Jongin asks as their train comes, “Nope, he went for a sudden inspection at Jeju. Maybe he’ll return this weekend or next week, I’m not sure.” Kyungsoo shrugs.

“I was craving for you dad’s cook though,” Sehun says, “He left a lot of food in the fridge knowing you guys will always crash at my place at the start of the break.” the boys cheer as they get on the train.

They ride the subway until it reaches Samseong-dong and then walk for a couple minutes until they reach Kyungsoo’s neighborhood. It’s a quiet neighborhood with modern villas in it. Kyungsoo only live with his father since his mother’s death years ago and he’s the only child so he’s always been so close with his father. They do everything together except when his father is out of town for business, his father owns a restaurant chain with branches all across the country and needs to do some inspection during some times.

Kyungsoo opens the door and they all enter his house, his friends casually put their bags in the living room and then turn on the television.

“He left us stews, pasta, and fried rice. Which one do you guys prefer for lunch?”Kyungsoo asks while looking at the food containers in his fridge.

“Fried rice with kimchi and eggs?” Sehun asks and the house owner nods, “Fried rice!” Jongin says from the living room. Kyungsoo takes the container with the fried rice in it and then prepares to heaten up the food.

“Who’s taking the shower first?” Taemin asks while playing with his phone while sitting on the breakfast stool, “I’ll take it first,” Jongin quickly tears his attention away from the television and then goes to the bathroom.

Sehun unlocks his phone and then see a message from Haewon,

‘Thank you for the flowers, it’s really cute.’

‘You’re welcome, glad that you like it’

‘Who says I like it?’

‘Jk, I love it!’

‘You almost got me, you did it. Have a nice sleepover night with your friends’

‘You too, see you this weekend’

‘Look forward to it!’

Sehun smiles and then open another chat from Jaewon who simply asks him whether he’s coming home or not. Jaewon always asks his whereabout, it feels like he is his real parents. They spend more time ogether or simply bickering whether Sehun’s having a dinner in or out than he does with his parents. He just sighs and then locks his phone after the message for Jaewon has been sent.

“Your parents aren’t back yet?” Kyungsoo joins Sehun in the living room with a cup of hot tea, “Yeah, Jaewon said they’ll be back before Christmas but I don’t know though. It’s six days before Christmas so I don’t know,” Sehun shrugs as he flips through the channels. “Didn’t they just come back a week ago?” Kyungsoo furrows his brows, Sehun just chuckles

“Welcome to my life, as if you don’t know that.”

“You know girls would kill to be with Sehun,”

Areum suddenly says as their orders come, the girls are having a quick lunch at a café near Haewon’s house. Haewon looks up from her food and then raises her brows at Areum, “Seriously, he’s the captain of the ing basketball team. Who doesn’t like him?” Areum argues while cutting her foods. “He and his friends are popular like massively popular,” Eunyoung acknowledges the fact while sipping on her honey tea, "Jus because he and his friends popular, it doesn’t mean I insantly like him because of that.” Haewoon shakes her head.

“Well, the both of you spent more time way before his popularity among the students raises, sis.” Jisoo comments and the other two nods in acknowledgement.

“How did you guys become close? I mean, I know he’s handsome and all but to be honest, you seemed not interested in anyone before him after Jaehyun. So how did he break your walls?” Jisoo asks and the girls look at Haewon who sips her drink.

“There aren’t a lot of people who understand me for who I am like you guys do, I do keep some things from you guys because I don’t know how to explain it but I share a lot of things with you more than I do with anyone else. He just made me realize that it is okay to talk about the deepest part of my mind, to feel tired and insecure. He didn’t force his way to talk with me or get to know me, we didn’t exchange message until we met in the mall. He respects my boundaries, unlike any other boy I’ve met before. But I think the most important part is that he understands my feelings, my worries, and let me break down in front of him just because I have so many things in my mind. I do believe you guys and trust me, I love you like a family but he always makes me feel like I’m a transparent object. He knows things that sometimes I don’t even know the answer, I think it’s hard to find someone like him and he assures me that it’s okay to try to trust someone else, to open my heart.”

Haewon’s answer makes the girls go silence because they know that her answer is something that really comes out of her deepest heart. Haewon rarely share anything about her own feelings, she mostly listen to them and give them advices. They know she’s afraid to be in a relationship because it drains her. They know her brother passed away and they assume it is one of the real reason why she’s afraid to emotionally in a relationship with someone else. Losing someone is hard, she loves her brother wholeheartedly but then he left. She doesn’t want to get hurt and Jaehyun is a salt to her wound.

“I was kind of shock because you rarely even go out with a boy, he seems genuinely intrest with you.” Eunyoung says, “Yeah, I do too.” Areum nods a long. Haewon smiles, “I just feel special with him, he understands me and how I think. I’m a little bit weird, you guys know that.” they laugh together at that statement.

“I’m happy for you, I know this is like oh so ing dramatic or something. But we’re really happy and excited seeing you with him because we know we can trust him, at least I do.” Areum smiles at Haewon.

“When Areum says that, it means she’s sure about it.” Eunyoung says again, Areum nods at that. She knows she can trust Sehun, they can trust him for Haewon.

“Aren’t you suppose to spend time with Taeyong or anything?” Jisoo asks Eunyoung, the girl shakes her head. “He’ll meet me tomorrow, can I send your home location to him?” Eunyoung asks Haewon and the girl just nods, “I was about to praise you for being a normal couple, nevermind.” Areum says and Eunyoung quicy throw a punch at her arm.

“Oh shut up!”

She wants to open her eyes, to talk, to move her body. But she can’t feel anything, she can hear them but she can’t do anything. She can hears Sehun’s whispers to her every night, her mother’s cry, her father’s prayer, everything. She misses them, she misses everyone, she misses him. He’s the reason she keep fighting to stay alive even after she lost their unborn child.

Everytime she wants to wake up, the darkness came back and she fell back into the slump of darkness.

She misses him, she wants to tell him that she loves him and that she’s not giving up. That she wants to fight for them.

She could feel his breath on her hand and his hand caressing her’s.

“I’ll wait for you, baby. So take your time and come back, okay?”

⇒  FINALLY!

I was working on this for a month now lol sorry I'm such a joke~ Anywaysss, it's March already yey! I have four journals due on Monday but hre I am sitting in front of my laptop because I really want to update this fic! I hope you guys like it, don't forget to comment, subscribe, and upvote! Thank you:) Have a nice day!!