She feels someone is holding to her hand, warm breathe felt over it.

"Do you remember our first date? I think it's my first time arranging plans for a date. It was my first in a couple years then, you know that."

She can hear the sigh, she knows the desperation in his tone yet he's trying to fake it as if she could see him now.

"I knew you won't hurt me since the first time we talk, I knew you'll stay since then. I have arranged my future since the first time you said yes, I have a vision for us to live together. So please, don't give up the fight. I know you're a fighter baby, please."

Haewon pull up her padding jacket as she walks out of the subway station, the temperature is dropping and people are starting to use jackets or coats to keep them warm. She is looking at the time on her phone when she see a new message coming,

'It's cold, have you wear your jacket?'

She smiles as she reads the new message from Sehun, she replies as she take a turn around the corner.

'You'll seeJ'

She locks her phone before walking to the nearest cafe she can see after she turns around the corner. It's a warm and nice cafe, it's decorated with fake snowman and wintery decorations inside. She looks around the cafe and spots Sehun as he is looking straight at her, she smiles as she walks to his table.

"How long have you been here?" she asks him, "Just a while, I just got here too." Sehun answers her.

"Yeah, right. You just got here but already ordered two cups of coffee." Haewon points at two cups in front of her, Sehun laughs although he is caught red handed. "It's for you," he pushes one of the cup to her direction,

"Hot caramel macchiato, my favorite winter drink. Congratulations, you made it." she smells the coffee inside, Sehun laughs at her remarks on what he ordered for her.

"So, any plans for today?" she raises her furrows as she asks him, the boy in front of her just chukcles. "Of course, what kind of date is it if I don't have any plans ahead. Let's go," he stand sup and then offer his hand for her. She looks at him before taking his hand and they walks out of the cafe while holding their own cup of coffee.

"The snow hasn't arrived yet," Haewon comments as she looks up while walking along the street, Sehun nods his head. "I heard the first snow probably will come tonight or tomorrow or even the day after tomorrow," Sehun remembers the weather forecast on TV just a couple minutes before he left home.

"It's almost the end of the year, I can't believe I made it." Haewon murmurs but Sehun could still hear it clearly.

For some people, it may sounds like a joke. But for the both of them, it is a big deal. To survive something, to be able to make sure yourself that everything's going to be alright and survive through your own thoughts. The reason why they don't know how to help themselves because it is in their mind. Everything happens in their mind, something part of themselves. Not only because their environment or any events happened to them. The haunting thoughts are always there. People who don't go through this kind of things should be thankful because they don't need to worry about what will happen next, what kind of thoughts that will appear befor e them.

"You'll live," Sehun says, more like assuring her.

"What makes you so confident about it?" Haewon looks at him because his words do sounds like an assurance for her.

"Because I'll help you through anything, trust me."

They've arrived in a restaurant around Itaewon, it's Saturday night so of course it would be filled with people. Haewon looks at the crowded restaurant but somehow Sehun manages to get them a table right in the corner beside a window. He lets her sit first before he takes a seat right in front of her and calls the waiter to get the menu.

"You can choose the soup, it's geeting colder so we need some." Sehun says and Haewon scams around the menu for the soups while he also looks for the meats.

"Galbitang sounds good for you?" she asks and he nods at the selection, they call over the waiter and orderstheir food. After the waiter reviews their order, he takes her leave.

"So, how's your finals?"

Haewon laughs at the question, "I don't think I've nailed it but let's say I survived, you?" she asks him back. "Me too, math kind of but well it always so I don't really give a damn about it." he shrugs, "Hey, at least you're quite good at it. I give up the moment I saw differential calculus." Haewon remembers her math final a couple days earlier. "I'm not good at calculus either, I just sums everything and divide everything during math." Sehun shakes his head at the thought of his math final.

Sehun's phone buzzes and he takes a look at the new message coming through, it's Jaewon.

'Just checking you out, Mr.Oh will be home next week on the 20th. Mrs.Oh sent you a package from Paris, where do you want me to put it?'

'I'm okay, hanging out in Itaewon. Just put it in my bedroom, I'll be home late.'

'Sure, take your time. Be careful,'

Sehun read the last message Jaewon sends him before locking his phone and put it away.

"Is it okay for you to wandering around like this just days before the national competition?" Sehun starts a new conversation, Haewon changes her attention from the lights on the street to him.

"Yeah, well my nationals isn't as tiring as your nationals. But I used to take a walk a day before the comeptition to calm my mind, I can't dance if I don't clear my mind and over-practicing would kill me on the day of the compeititon." Haewon answers him as their drinks arrive.

"Another in common, I see." Sehun raises his brows before taking a sip off his cold soda, Haewon furrows her brows at him.

"I love to take a walk before a game too, it always work to calm me down." he adds, Haewon chuckles. "I think we do have a lot in common, well if you count going to the same psychiatry as an in common thing." Haewon shrugs and the two of them laugh together.

"When did you start going to the doctor?" Sehun asks her carefully incase she doesn't want to talk about it. Haewon thinks for a while, "I think three years ago. Since the first time I live here alone.  I think griefing is my first issue, you?" Haewon asks him back.

"Two years ago, I think insomnia led me to meet him. Jaewon asks me about the missing sleeping pils and he cuaght me red handed taking those pills, so I ended up taking the counseling thingy since then." Sehun recollects his memory about being caught by his confidant. The older male was shock and confuse about how to ask him the reasons behind those sleepless nights.

"This is weird, I don't know when was the last time I feel this comfortable talking about my issues who someone else." Haewon chuckles, Sehun looks up at her and he can't be more agree than that.

"Me too, my friends don't know anything. Even Jongin who has been with me since diaper doesn't know any of these. Weird, huh?" Sehun  says but Haewon shakes her head in disagreement, "My friends don't know about these either, I'm not really comfrotable talking about this with others. I mean, they don't need know because I feel like they won't understand. I do feel bad for not telling them anything though," Haewon says and Sehun nods in agreement.

The waiter comes with their foods andsetting up the grill from them, "But have you ever think about telling them what's really going on?" Sehun asks her as they're grilling the meats.

"I have, once. But then I need to start from the beginning which is really complicated, too complicated for others." Haewon shakes her head while taking the chopsticks to put the meats on the grill, "How about you?" she adds while looking at him briefly before looking at the meats again.

"Never, I don't think I'll ever talk about this until Jaewon brought this up years ago." Sehun thinks about it for a second while stirring the soup.

"I know right, it feels weird and complicated but you need someone else at the same time." Haewon adds as she flips the meats on the grill.

Sehun acknowledges that, he knows that he needs someone else. Like the doctor says, he needs someone to talk to. Diagnosed with mental issues isn't something that you actually want to talk with others. He shrugs it off because he thought that his parents' absence throughout his childhood won't affects anything, but he's wrong. Medications may help you to stay sober, to stay alive but nothing could ever fix your mental if it's not from your inside.

The accumulation of grief is also shrugged off by Haewon, thinking that her brother's passing wouldn't affect her in long term but then she's wrong. The emptiness is real and since then she does care about others. Would rather to stay in the back and watch others rather than being in the front. She wants to make sure that no one would ever feel like her because it . She doesn't want to lose someone again.

"And then this just turned into something really depressing somehow," Sehun chuckles and Haewon shrugs off from her own thoughts, she laughs at the remarks as she put aside the cooked meats and starts to grill the rest of the meats.

"So, ready for the nationals?"

Haewon sighs at the question, "I want to say that I'm not but that would be so stupid. Like, what kind of captain isn'tready for nationals." Haewon says and Sehun instantly laughs at her joke.

"It's next Friday isn't it?" she nods as a respond, "Please don't say you're watching with the team," she suddenly looks up from the grill and he just let out a small laugh. Haewon instantly rolls her eyes, "Oh great, a very nerve-wracking news." she adds.

"Hey, you'll do fine. I know you will, your team will." Sehun assures her but Haewon just let out a chuckle, "Well, let's see next week." she laughs.

They eat their meals after all the meats has been grilled, they enjoy a small conversation during their dinner. They were laughing most of the time because Sehun would throw some jokes and Haewon would reply it with a questioning look. It's been a while since Sehun feels this comfortable with another girl. Also for Haewon, it's been a while since she feels comfortable and no need to hide anything from a guy. She doesn't need to look good or pretty, she just needs to be herself whenever she's with him. Her friends sure are right about Sehun, he's worth the wait.

"That was fun, what else do you have in mind?"

Haewon says as they walks out of the night market. After they finished their dinner, they go to a night market around Itaewon. Looking through the market while having fishcakes together. They would play some games together or just go through the market. As cliche as it sounds, Haewon is fine with that.

"Well, most of the people took their date to the movie theater." Sehun says as they walk through the street, haewon looks at him while raising her brows.

"But I won't. I'm taking you to my sanctuary," Sehun says as they heads to the subway station, "Sanctuary? Your home?" Haewon asks but Sehun shakes his head.

"I call this place as my sanctuary because it actuallycalms me down even during the day when I feel the most depressed or lost my spirit." Sehun explains as they steps into the train, there's not much people in their line so they could sit.

"My sanctuary is actually a revamped bedroom turned into a completely white and bright room," haewon explains hers, "What did you turn that room into?" Sehun asks her. "Just an empty room, I don't know why but it calms me down." Haewon smiles.

"Well, mine is actually a place that you would run into sometimes. A lot of people go here but I could find my own spot. It's like sitting in one spot of Central Park. It's big, a lot of people go there but it's very unlikely to be able find a certain spot." Sehun says again, "Really? Is it the city’s park?’’  Haewon raises her eyebrows at him. The tall guy just laughs and then tell her to get off the train in the next station.

When the train stops, they get off the train alongside a couple people. Although the subway station doesn’t seem that crowded, the street in Seongsu-dong still full with people enjoying their weekend. Sehun keeps Haewon by his side and put his arm around her shoulders as if she’s his. Or does she ? They keep he silence between them because the street is noisy so talking needs a lot of enegy to raise their volume. Haewon is cold enough, she has her shawl and coat but cold still be able to find it’s way through the clothes. She’s not a good friend of cold or hot weather and she knows it’s .

Sehun takes a glance at her before stops in his track which is followed by Haewon, he takes off his scarf and put it around her neck.

"You don’t have to," she holds the scarf that is lingering around her now, he shakes his head and smiles. ”It’s okay, I’m good with cold. Your face is all red, you must be nota friend of winter.” He guesses and she just laughs. They continue to walk with his arm around her shoulder and his other hand is in his coat’s pocket.

"I’m actually a huge fan of winter, snow, and Christmas but I’m more into spring, nothing affects me in apring an autumn." Haewon replies to his guess, he nods his head with a chuckle. "You don’t like summer?" he asks in which she replies with a shake, "I’m not a fan of getting a heart attack because of sun heat." the both of them laugh together.

After walking for a couple minutes, they finally reach Seoul Forest.

”I knew it,” Haewon beams as they enters the forest together, there’s a lot of people in the forest even though it’s already night time.

They keep walking and Sehun leads them to a shortcut. Somehow, they got into the quietest part of the forest where the tree filled the road with a big garden lamp in the center of it. There’s a pond in front of them with rocks all around it. Haewon walks around and can’t help but smile widely,

"This place is beautiful,"

Sehun also smiles as he walks up to her, "There’s no one here after three or four afternoon, that’s why I ove it. I could spend hours and horurs resting on one of these tree and sleeping or just simply lstening to my playlist while wondering what could I do to make these weird feelings go away." he looks up to the sky.

"I’ve been wondering the same things too, I’ve been wondering whether I could get out from all of these or whether I’ll be okay for the next few days or not at all."

The two of them sit right in front of a big tree right near the end of the small man-made island. They just sit there while staring at the pond and stars above them. It’s getting the dark, people only go to the center part of the park because there’s more lights in that area than the area they’re in now. The weather is getting cold so the wind is getting really cold and strong.

"Now I know why you love it here," Haewon smiles at the male right beside her, Sehun looks at her while tilting his head as if he needs an explanation of that sentence.

"It’s calming, in a great way not a creepy one. I see, darkness isn’t that bad," she adds while looking around, there’s only one big garden lamp that accompany them.

"You’re scared of darkness ?" Sehun asks her, "Not scared but more like… hate?" she answers. He furrows his brows at the abstract information.

"I found my brother hanging on the ceilling in a dark bedroom, you can call it a trauma, I guess…." Haewon says, "I see, it makes sense." Sehun nods in agreement.

They keep sitting there in silence, something that the both of them really enjoy. Sehun looks at his side only to see Haewon closes her eyes while holding both of her knees. He smiles and then searching for something in his coat’s pocket. He finds his phone and earphones.

"Do you know what I love doing in this place?" he asks while connecting his earphones to his phone. Haewon opens her eyes and shakes her head while tilting her head to look at him. Sehun let out a smile while setting up something in his phone.

"This," he puts the right earphone to his ear and put th other one to her ear.

Haewon listens to the song, "NIve," she recognizes the singer that he choses. "Take my chances, know you’ll like his music." Sehun says while put his phone right between them.

Haewon closes her eyes again and somehow she felt the gravity pulls her head to fall on his shoulder.

No one can hold you the way that I do
Deeper and deeper I’m falling for you

For you

(NIve-From:Me)

"She refuses my treatment at first, she kind of questioning me. But then, as the time goes, she trusts me. She’s like a younger sister for me, well the two of you arelike my own sibling. My patients are mostly businessmen, businesswomen, elderly traumatized by the war, busy ad onely people. Their age are way above the two of you. Somehow, you guys are unique."

Sehuns laughs at Dr.Kim’s words, he looks at Haewon in the bed. The oxygen tube is still attached to her, the doctors are afraid that she won’t be able t brethe by her own because her brain function is still unknown.

"Yeah, we’re unique. You can say in a weird way," Sehun smiles, the psychiatrist in front of him could see the worry and love in his patients’ eyes. "She’ll be back soon, she won’t go anywhere. She loves you and I’m no love-expert but the two of you survive because you have each other and I could see that clearly." He says to the younger male, Sehun nods in agreement. "I do love her and I miss her so much,"

"I love you too, Sehun."

⇒  HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR!!

Sorry for being such a bad writer but I've trying to get this chapter done for weeks and here we are ith my crappy writing. I'm so sorry if you find this chapter weird, believe me I find it weird too. I hope you love this and I put a new artist name called NIve because his songs are amzing (only two currently but still, amazing). Check out his songs, I've linked him on his name!

Don't forget to leave your comments, subscribe, and enjoy reading this story^^

Thank you, have a good day everyone!