She could feel her hand, she could feel it….

“Please wake up, honey. We can’t lose you too ….”

Her mom’s cry could be heard loud and clear, tears wetting her right hand. Haewon could feel it but she couldn’t move it.

‘Mom ….. I’m here,’

 Those are the words she wants to say but her body won’t follow any command. She could feel and hear things but she can’t do anything. She wants to see them, she wants to talk to them.

She wants to see him.

“What the was that?”

Areum groans in annoyance as she put her arms on the table to lean on it. They just had their final math exams. Students are leaving the classroom on by one as another exam waiting for them after the break. Eunyoung is playing with her phone meanwhile Jisoo is talking with Haewon about their answers on the test.

“Yo,”

The four of them looks up to find Taeyong on the door, Eunyoung smiles and gets up from her chair. “You guys don’t want to go to the cafeteria?” she asks her friends.

“I’m going with you but please don’t say I’m a third wheel.” Areum pull herself up and looking at Jisoo, “Okay, I’ll go with you.” she also stands up meanwhile Haewon takes out her lunch and coffee. “See you after the break,” Haewon smiles and then leave the classroom.

“Is she seeing Sehun? The basketball team’s captain?” Taeyong asks as the four of them watch her walking to the end of the corridor. “Seeing, yeah. Not  a thing, at least not yet.” Eunyoung answers with a smile, “Let’s go, I’m hungry.” Areum begs and the four of them walk to the cafeteria together.

Haewon walks up the stairs and finds Sehun laying down on the bench with his earphones and a sandwich on his chest. She laughs before approaching him and put her hands over his eyes. Sehun let out a smile before he grabs her hand and pull it a few centi above his face.

“How’s math?”

“The same, don’t know whether I’ll pass or not.”

Haewon chuckles as she takes a seat right beside him after Sehun sits straight on the bench. She takes out a lunch box with a couple kimbap rolls in it.

“Practices after school?” he asks as he munches on his sandwich, Haewon nods. “The national is just a week away, we should keep practicing even while doing exam.” she answers while taking out a can of coffee.

“I’ll wait for you, then.”

Sehun says and she turnd her head at him, “Tomorrow’s chemistry, are you sure?” she teases him and he lets out a laugh. “I was hoping you could tutor me chemistry,” he hopes and Haewon just let out a chuckle. “Again?” she raises her brows on him and he nods.

“Aw, come on. You know I’m bad at it, I’ll help you with Physics again.”

He begs on her and she keeps eating her kimbap while looking at him, “Chickens?” he nods right away. “Just kidding, you can go to a café nearby though. You don’t have to wait for me here,” Haewon suggests and he shakes his head.

“I’ll just sleep,”

He shrugs and she laughs at that remark. A silence surrounds them as they enjoy their lunch while looking at the scenery from the rooftop. Winter is approaching as autumn is almost over, the leaves fell off the trees and creates quite a drawing-like scenery. The rooftop garden turns into a real garden as the leaves fills the floor, it seems like the gardener hasn’t cleans up the leaves yet. The year is almost over, only a few days left before December comes.

It’s been eight months since their first encounter and they’ve been hanging out not only in the rooftop but also during little breaks after each lesson. The whole school knows something is going on between them but they haven’t turn anything official yet. It seems like Miyoung’s words is correct, the basketball team’s and cheerleaders’ captain usually together. The teams have gone through a lot of times together, cheers and basketball can’t be separated.

So are the two of them.

The first bell rings breaking their silence and the two of them finishes off their lunch before warping up and leave the rooftop together.

“So, I’ll wait for you?”

“I’ll text you,”

Sehun smiles as he sends her off to her class, haewon watches him for a while before entering her class and sit at her seat.

Eunyoung and the others come back a few minutes later.

“Please help me, English is not my friend.” Eunyoung begs at Haewon and the later just laughs, “I’ll try my best,” Haewon shrugs.

“Every subject apparently is not your friend, huh?” Areum flicks Eunyoung’s forehead and the girl groans in pain. ”Well, school isn’t my friend.” Eunyoung shrugs before turns to the front as their teacher enters the class.

“Okay everyone, close your book and I’ll start giving out the answer sheet,”

Sehun has just woken up from his nap, the basketball practice is over almost two hours ago and he’s waiting for Haewon to finish her practice. It’s almost six and her practice is almost over so he gets up from the bench and decides to wait for her in the hallway. He takes his bag and put in on his shoulder while checking on his phone. His friends are already gone since the basketball practice is over so they’re fussing on their group chat now.

Kkamjjong: Yo brothers!

Dyosa: What?

Ttaemdong: YO!

Kkamjjong: Gosh, no need to be all annoyed, Soo.

Dyosa: I lost to Taemin because you send a message, idiot

Ttaemdong: Nah, admit it, you’re in this game

Kkamjjong: ARE YOU GUYS PLAYING WITHOUT INVITING ME?

Ttaemdong: Thought you’ll be playing with your niece all night long

Dyosa: Spit it out, dude

Kkamjjong: Nah, she loves her mother more than me. Anyway, I’m just coming by to ask Sehun but I know he’ll be sleeping and reading this convo hours later so, @sehun when will be hearing things about you and Haewon?

Ttaemdong: Oh dude, I’m going to ing kill you right now

Dyosa: ….

Dyosa removed Kkamjjong from the group.

Ttaemddong invites Kkamjjong to the group.

Kkamjjong joined the group.

Kkamjjong: YOU SATAN! @Dyosa

Sehun keep laughing as he scrolls his phone, he has almost 250 notifications from his group with the other three. He may doesn’t tell everything to them but they know whenever he’s feeling down or annoyed because they’ll try to cheer him up or bringing up another topic to make him forget about hi problems or simply divert his attention to their silly talks. He keep reading their chat while walking slowly to the main lobby of their school.

“You’re seriously waiting for me?”

He is startled by the sudden voice in the silence but let out a relief sigh as he sees Haewon walking towards him with her cheers jacket on her left arm, already changing back to her school uniform.

“Yeah, I was taking a nap on the rooftop.”

He answers as he put his phone to his pocket and they walk out of the lobby together, “Sorry for keep you waiting, new captain.” Haewon points at herself and Sehun laughs at it.

They’ve been talking about being the new captains for their respective teams, the pressure is big especially when their predecessors are highly talented and brought their school name to nation-wide. Hanhwa is the lead when it comes to balancing it students’ academic and non-academic achievements. Sehun has all the seniors’ pressure on him while Haewon got all the attention from the girls not only the seniors but also who are interested in becoming Hanhwa’s freshmen next year. The end year is approaching which means a lot of competitions wait for them in the New Year.

“Don’t push yourself too hard, the finals are still two days away from over.” Sehun suggests and Haewon smiles,

“Don’t worry, being a captain means they need you to see how the formation looks like from the audience so I do have quite some time to take a breath.” she replies with a chuckle.

They keep walking to the hang out places district near their school, the weather is neither hot nor cold. It’s just perfect for them to stroll around while going to their usual study café. Haewon loves the coffee and Sehun loves the snacks. It is their new hang out place since the exam started. Haewon is not a top student like Jisoo or active in the student council like Eunyoung and Areum but she has quite a broad knowledge for a girl in Sehun’s perspective. How many girls love watching TV crime series and listening to western’s indie artists. Sehun has only met one person and that person is Haewon. There always new stuffs to find out about this girl every day and he’s never bored with it. She always manages to surprise him.

“Tell me which part that you need help in Chemistry?” Haewon asks as they settle down in a table for two with a desk lamp on the table.

“Reactions, I’m at it.”

Haewon let out a chuckle before taking out her pencil and start explaining to Sehun. She would use simple example to make him understands and they would let out a laugh whenever he cracks a joke in the middle of their tutoring session.  After almost two hours working on Chemistry, it is Sehun’s turn to teach her Physics. She’s in Physics, even Sehun is quite surprise at how bad she is at it.

“Come on, it’s a simple formula. We learnt in two weeks ago,”

Haewon bites her lower lips while trying to remembering the formula. She might be good at Chemistry, but Physics is definitely not her friend. Sehun is waiting for her answer while leaning on the chair and taking a sip on his ice coffee

“I give up, tell me, please?”

He let out a chuckle as he sit closer to the table and put down his drink. He takes the pencil and start writing the formula while explaining about how they get the formula. Haewon listens to him carefully while trying to swallow all the information that he gives her. She is willing to learn anything except Physics. Sehun loves how she purses or bites her lips while studying Physics. She would need a lot of time to understand Physics but only need seconds to finishes several Chemistry problems. For Sehun, it is the other way around.

The sky turns dark, it is already seven in the evening and both of them need to get home. The subway station and bus stops start to be busy as it is the rush hour, people get off from work to get home.

“You sure you’re gonna be okay for tomorrow?”

Haewon throws him a glare but it doesn’t last long as she just let out a sigh. “Cross my fingers, I don’t know what to do. Might as well as remembering all the formula and write anything on my paper just to avoid looking like a fool,”

He laughs at her reply and soon the bus pulls over at her stop. Haewon stands up and Sehun keep staring at her as she gets off from the bus. She looks back and smile, “See you tomorrow,” she waves at him and he waves his hand back.

It’s like their routine to study until dinner time and separate at the bus.

He loves it.

Haewon finishes her dinner and puts the dishes on the kitchen sink before she washes them and then put them back on the rack. She takes a glass of hot cocoa that she made before dinner to the living room and continues to read her books while listening to the show on the television. She’s reading a new novel by her favorite author and trying to not thinking about the exam tomorrow.

Usually during exam weeks, her late brother would help her until the clock shows that the date has changed. They would spend the night together in the study room or through phone calls when he’s away from home. He’s her everything, a pillar for her life. That’s why she’s a mess when he left the world.

“The current time is 9 p.m. Reminder for tomorrow, November 29—“

“Taewon’s birthday, I know.”

Hewon turns off the home assistant that is reminding her about tomorrow’s event.

She looks at the night scenery from the wide window right next to her in the living room. The scenery seems really beautiful, something that would make Taewon get her out of the couch and take a walk outside. She doesn’t know why but he likes to hang out quite often even rarely spent his weekend at home but he always made a time for her. She smiles and then continues to read her books again.

An emotional state during exam week isn’t something that she needs currently. Breaking down or going into an episode isn’t something that she needs, it would take almost a week to get her mood lifted up. She needs a distraction to put her focus on something else, whenever she feels she’s like breaking down or her anxiety comes back, she would try to breathe normally and find something to distract herself. This happens a lot of times actually but her friends rarely notice that because she would try to shrug it off by thinking about other things. But whenever she’s alone, she would lost the battle and broken down right there.

Picking up pieces after breaking down isn’t something she’s good at. It takes Dr. Kim almost a month to make her sure that she’ll be okay and the pain could go away. During her last year of junior high school, she needs hours and hours of session in one week because she felt hopeless at the time.

Whenever she’s breaking down, her mind would go blank and she would mess up her exam. She doesn’t need another factor to let her dark side controls her. The national cheers competition is also approaching so she needs to be in her best condition. She’s having another session tomorrow at the hospital, she should be alright.

Haewon sighs and decided to doze off in the library.

“She’ll be alright, Mr.Son and Mrs.Son.”

The doctor informs them but still, they can’t erase the sadness in their face. It’s their sixth time coming back to the hospital, their work can’t be left just like that so they need to spare times between work and Haewon.

Mrs.Son is holding her daughter’s hand while praying to God to not take her daughter too. She lost her son and that’s enough, she doesn’t want to lose another child.

Mr.Son is trying to calm his wife but he can’t hide his sadness.

“We’ll wait for her just like how you want it to be, we won’t stop the treatment. All we need is to wait, her brain might needs more time to recover completely and allow her to wake up.”

‘MOM! DAD! I’m okay!’

⇒ UPDATED!!

It's been almost a month since a updated this fic lol sorry, the first semester is really hard. College is another level of high school, the tweve grade is nothing compare to this hahaha Anyway! Thank you for the new readers, subbers, and thank you for new comment:) Please do leave more comment!! I need your feedbacks, please don't be a silent reader:( I'll try to update this more ofthen!:D

Until then, see ya!