“YAAAAA!!! You all sleepy heads wake up! This is Saturday morning, people! Let’s go to the gym! Minho wake up!!”

I heard my big brother poke his head and opened the curtain. Arrgh, this old man, there is no use of leaving the house for these last 4 years. Soon after I got back, he forced me to join his weekend routine again.

“Taa..kee Minho with you.. I’m sooo tired..” I pull my blanket over my face and kick Minho’s back beside me.

“Aargh, move your hand of my face, Oppa!!” I heard Sulli groaned, “Eonni, you must really miss Siwon’s Oppa work out time.. You should go..”

“You.. Need.. To.. Loose.. Some fat.. On your cheeks, Sulli-ah..” Minho nagged in slow motion.

“But Oppa loves soccer so much..”

“Dude, leave me alone..” I gave Minho another kick on his . He doesn’t bother to move and drown his face into his own drool. On the other hand, Sulli starts snoring again.

“Anyone who won’t be at the dinning table in 5 minutes should go to the church counseling with Mom for the whole week..”

I throw my pillow aside and apparently it hit Sulli’s face who suddenly get up.

“Come on, Minho! Or Sisus drag you to hell!”

***

“Sulli-ah, pass me the jam!”

Sulli throw it from the other side of the table. Thanks God, I used to join the basketball club back in high school and early college time before things got so hectic.

“So, what are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know.. I’ve checked some vacancy on the internet.. Some are really promising..”

“Do you want me to find you some jobs? You should take a look to doctoral school abroad to.”

“Don’t go with Siwon hyung advice, Noona! You’ll have no life!” Minho scream while munching his waffle. It successfully makes him smashed with a tea spoon. Yeah, this man still got his accurate shoot after all this time.

“Anyhow, I have a bad news.”

“What?! If you tell me you’re late for your monthly schedule I swear to God, I’ll cut your throat with this knife!” Siwon shows the knife on his hand to Sulli.

“Chillax.. It’s not even 8 yet, Oppa!”

“Really? You think I’m that cheap?! Why I have to have a brother like you?!”

“Enough with the sweet talk, now tell us!”

“You know, the annual charity week is coming next month, but the committee skip the sports game and only held the music stage competition!”

“WHAAT?!?!!!! Are you kidding me?!”

Minho spill his milk to my face.

“You, idiot! Now I need to wash my face again!!”

“I know, Oppa! We’re back to the slump! Heechul oppa would mocking us again!”

“Aaah.., I forget he’s back from the service.. Lee Taemin will laugh at my face non-stop! We definitely lost to the Lee-siblings!”

“Speak of the Lee siblings, Eunhyuk will come over to discuss his mother’s business with me. Please behave, ________.”

I almost choked myself with my toast. He’s coming here!? And I am the one who should behave?!!?!! Unbelievable!

“You’re to much, Oppa! I am the one who is your sister and this is my house, then I am the one who should behave?!?!!”

“This is why I told you before..”

“Oh, screw you! I’m done!”

“Then join us with this concert, Eonnie! You could beat him!”

Gosh, I hate coming back home!!

***

Let me break it down to you. Sorry for the sudden morning rage. I’m just not used to share my daily life with so much people. Especially before 9 am.

I am the second child of this Choi family which consist with four idiot kids. Well, my brother Siwon definitely excluded from the idiot title, he’s religious, got a great manner, and extremely funny because he’s so serious and got this super corny jokes. In a short cut: perfect husband material. He’s now a General Manager in my dad’s company. No, I would agree with you that he’s typical son of CEO type if only I haven’t seen his sweat since high school. This dude is beyond awesome. He started entering the company since the first year of college as an intern. If he’s not a hard worker then he’s a workaholic.

I have two younger siblings. Minho is an athlete wannabe. No, he is an athlete. Swimming, soccer, basketball, field track, you named it. His brain divided into 4 parts. Sports, food, kids, and music recently. Do not ever challenged him, because he would be a monster that eager to do anything to be a champion.

The youngest one is my baby sister, Sulli. Once she laugh, she wouldn’t stop. Her body is quite marvelous and sporty princess alike. She’s taller than me, prettier than me, and more popular than me. That’s why my brothers protect her twice strict than me.

And the last, me, the invisible second child. I’m completely nothing compared to my siblings. Even Siwon and my parents sent me abroad. I was living away for 4 years and not able to attend Minho graduation and Sulli sport competitions.

Though we love arts and music a lot, we born as an athlete pack.

Siwon oppa is a former basketball player and taekwondo athlete. Minho still live for sports. Sulli really did well in track field. And me, luckily joined the basketball team after years of training by my big brother.

That’s why the idiot duo - Minho and Sulli - got so furious with the cancelled sport competition.

I don’t even care about it at all. My concern is that Eunhyuk would come here.

Siwon knows that I’m not really over him yet. After almost 5 years in a love-hate relationship, I’m still longing to the fantasy that Eunhyuk and I would finally settle down, together or not. For him, it might be easy, because he’s not that into me. On the other hand, Eunhyuk is still the boy next door that I adore, the my-brother-charming-buddy, and the second one who can steal my mom’s heart (he cheated with a red velvet cake in hand back then), after his younger brother Jinki who smart enough to show her how brainy he is.

Throwing the past memories is definitely not an easy job. I thought being abroad would help me, but it’s no use at all with the fact Eunhyuk visiting me at least twice a year and let me sunken deeper.

And Siwon knows everything. He even knew that something’s going to happen between us since the very first time Eunhyuk came to our house. He already warned me that Eunhyuk is not the right one for me.

But yeah, I’m famous of being rebel since at a very young age.

And the fact that he’s coming to my house this evening after major fight on the phone three weeks ago is not a good news.

I need to stack some food before locked myself inside my room during Eunhyuk’s visit. I could just go shopping or strolling the city with Minho or Sulli. But both of them already dashed out since lunch. My driving license is expired since last year. Dead end.

I open my room’s door and got startled with the face welcomed me with his gummy smile. His hand is hanging on the air, ready to knock on my door.

“My brother’s room is across the alley.”

“I want to see you first.”

“Why?”

“Do I should have a reason to see you?”

“Of course.”

He shakes his head, sighing very loud.

“Why don’t you tell me that you’ll back home a week earlier?”

“Like you’d gonna do something if I told you before.”

“Of course I would, silly!”

“What? What are you going to do?”

“I’ll cancel my ticket or at least pick you at the airport!”

He cancel his ticket? What for? Is he going to..

“I feel bad after our fight..”

“Oh, really? Wow, amazing!”

“________, please.”

“That’s true, really amazing. You’re not the type who bother to care about me.”

“I do care about you.”

“Then why you cheated on me?”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“How come?”

“We were agree that this relationship between us is freakin’ casual! I don’t own you, and vice versa!”

“It’s been freakin’ 5 years, you idiot! If.. IF.. If this is casual why you visited me so much? More than my brother? More than anyone in my family? Why did you comfort me every single time I felt weary?”

“Because I care about you, stupid!”

“Oh, I am stupid, indeed. I thought I was special. I was different. You were different. But dating my friend, no, my former friend, is not acceptable in every single way!”

“I told you before, we were casual! You’re busy with your own dream, so did I! We had pretty good relationship in the first two year! But you started to walk on your own. You said you won’t put any label on it!”

“That’s because you told me that you seen me as your sister!”

“Because I didn’t know how to keep you around!”

“Just told me the truth then! Not acting like you care but pretend that as a brother-sister term!”

“I’m not pretending! I did care, I do. And that’s also how a man treat his sister!”

The door after me opened, shows me a stiff face.

“_______, stop it. I told you to behave!”

Siwon’s words suddenly put me in rage. His face, Eunhyuk statements, and my heart condition are the worst combination ever.

“Look. This is how you treat your sister!” I shout right in front of Eunhyuk’s face and dashed out to the front door.

“_______-ah!”

I heard my brother called me. But my heart already in pain. Siwon never could be a real brother. For me at least. Because I found out that he seems treat me differently than Minho and Sulli. I feel something warm streaming down my face. It’s not because Eunhyuk. I know it.

“Auch!”

“Oh, sorry!”

I bump into someone at the porch. Didn’t bother to find out who is that, I go straight to the fence. Damn, it! I forgot my wallet and my phone. Ah, whatever! I turn left without hesitating no more.

***

“One more of this, Jack!”

“Dude! You’ve got enough!”

“This is not even compared to what I had back in Cardiff!”

“If you insist..”

A hand cut mine while I almost reached the glass in Jack’s hand.

“Coke with salt for this lady, I’ll take this.”

What the heck? Who is this guy?

“Heeeeyyy.. That’s mine, ruuuuddeee..!”

“What are you doing? Hanging around here only with a tank and short like that?! It’s not even 9 PM yet!” He shouts when finally sit down next to me.

“Who are you?”

“Who am I? You don’t even realize who am I? Oh, crap! Yooo, Jack! How many you gave her already?!”

“Seriously, dude.. Who are you? Scream at my face like my parents and my brother always did to me, cut my drink and judge me rudely!”

“Damn it, _______! It’s me Jinki!”

“Whaaat?!?!!!”

“I said I’m Jinki!”

“No, you’re kidding me! Reveal your identityyyyy orrrr.. I call the police kekekekeee..”

“Well, last time I check it I’m still named Lee Jinki in my ID card.”

I grab his face. Pinch his cheek, mess with his hair, touch his lips and his nose, the finally rub his eyebrow, oh gosh, this is real! That’s Jinki! My first love! My best pal in this whole world!

“How could you transform from a five year kid into a heartthrob like this?!!”

“You’ve gone for to long!”

“Who’s the silly one insist to sent only letters and postcards instead of super genius technology like Skype or Face time?!”

He grinned from ear to ear. He completely changed from bubbly sweet kindergarten class mate into a mysterious but cute man with his wavy hair almost touched the shoulder.

“Why you’re here? You bumped to me with your face wholly covered by tears. What’s happened? I had to run behind you because you didn’t look back even I shout your name several times!”

I remembered again I had a fight with Eunhyuk and Siwon.

“I had a fight with your brother. And Siwon oppa decided to defend him over me.”

“Eunhyuk hyung?”

I nod while sipping another shot I requested to Jack secretly. I am aware that something happened between me and Eunhyuk is considered disaster so I didn’t expect so much when finally I faced him. But what’s Siwon did to me is unacceptable. It opened my eyes for every single thing he did to me since my young age.

“Am I adopted?”

“What?” Jinki looks like choked himself hearing my question.

“I feel like I don’t belong to my family, Jinx.. Siwon oppa treat me differently than Minho and Sulli.”

“Naaah.. Impossible! I know both of you since my early life. There’s no such thing like adoption! You drank too much!”

“Oh, gosh! Open your tiny eyes wider!” I regret what I said about his eyes when I saw him suddenly put his drink down. But I’m too busy mending my own head to apologize, “Look at me! Look at my face! Look at my body! Siwon oppa is so tall! So handsome! No one in my family have this baby fat in their face! No one in my family who look so short! No one! Except me!”

Jinki opened his mouth to lecture me. Too late.

“Everyone is so good at sport! They don’t even need to try harder on it! They born that way! And there’s me! The outcast who need super intensive practice to secure my spot in the basketball team!”

“You need to calm down, dude! Everyone has their own good and bad!”

“Okay, that’s fair enough. But Siwon oppa never care about me like he did to Sulli! This morning, he even planned to cut Sulli’s throat if she’s pregnant!”

“Ya! Every single brother is like that! Eunhyuk hyung always told us that he would volunteer himself to kill me or Taemin if he found out one of us make a girl pregnant!”

“How about choosing your brother side instead of me?! Who said blood is thicker than water?! Is my blood made from spits?!!?!!”

“You just overreacted, babe! You’re already angry with my brother.. And yeah, Siwon hyung made it worse a little bit..”

“A little bit? He messed with my whole life, Jinx! He told me to do this and that! Minho and Sulli can choose whatever they want! He even forced me to study abroad! I’m pretty sure it’s just his excuse to get rid of me so the family picture looks way more perfect!”

“He just wanted to you get better education so you can reach your dream easily! Can you not see this from the bright side?”

“I don’t have bright side! He is overshadowing me with his capabilities of everything. Siwon is this, Siwon is that! Siwon is so handsome, so smart, so funny, so freakin everything! No one look at me how hard I have tried! Everybody told me that I am able to be at the place I am right now is because he took care stuffs!”

I start crying so loud. Jack hand me another boost that I gulped it down in one shot. Thanks God, the music way more louder and the club is pretty dark so no one would notice that my face is like a Titanic.

“Look at me! You’re not the only one who feel like that! My family have its own problem! Look at my brothers! They are so awesome with their moves! Taemin is 4 years younger than me! But his skill is beyond universe! And me? I born with two right feet and two stiff arms!”

“But you got the most beautiful voice in the whole galaxy! You have the same pretty smiles as your siblings! Maybe my favorite!”

“Really?” I can see Jinki’s eyes got bigger, “But.. There’s no use when Taemin starts to sing! He’s a perfect artist! I am a clumsy clown, I had to cut my meals and work out so crazy to hide this tummy! Is that even fair while my brothers can eat whatever they want until got a stomachache?!”

“But your brothers are always around you! You stay at the same house with them at least! Me?! Siwon oppa only visit me once in four years! ONCE! And it’s because he got a business meeting there! He even stayed at the hotel instead of my cold apartment! He didn’t come along when my parents, Minho, and Sulli visited me! Your brother even come more often than him! Heechul oppa and Jonghyun stayed at mine while backpacking! Who the hell is my brother then?!”

I sob like a beggar who ask for food. Jinki pulls me into his chest. He hugs me and pats my head. It feels so right. It feels so warm.

“Don’t worry. When no one love you, I would. You’re not alone. I am an outcast too..”

If only Siwon could be as kind as Jinki. God, am I asking to much?

***

Almost two weeks passed by. I moved to Sulli’s room to avoid seeing Siwon when I opened my door. Well, it’s not likely I would bumped into him since he’s so busy just like his ordinary day, but you know, preventing is always so much better than curing a wound rite? I sent Eunhyuk some message, saying that I’m sorry for exaggerating and hoping that I would finally forget about everything happened between us. He’s so nice decided to stay away from me for a while for our own good. That’s quite reasonable. He knew, I need a little more time to convince myself that I stand for my own. No one, even Eunhyuk, would help me and comfort me in my each falls.

My parents forced me to help them at the company. I refused it every single time just because I am so done living under the shadows. Besides, my major is design, and I don’t think it’s a proper area for me expanding my skill. I’m hanging around with Minho and Sulli more than before. I miss my babies. They used to come and cry to me back in the old days, because our parents and Siwon busy making money. We had to walk different path since I’ve sent to Cardiff. I spend the whole week strolling around the city with Jinki. With him, I feel where I belong to. He could be described as a home that I should be at. Jinki help me to find a job that I want.

Visiting one to another gallery or music store. So far is a huge zero.

“How’s your brother?” Jinki asked while we’re waiting our bus.

“Still in the highest place on this earth. No one can touch him.”

“Did you talk to him?”

“What for? He didn’t bother to pay attention toward me. We ate at the same table every morning and apparently I am invisible to him. He yelled to Minho and asked Sulli about her school. But to me? Negative.”

“Take the first move. It doesn’t make you into the lose party. It means you’re a grown up.”

“I am.”

“Nope, you still see such things in a bad aura.”

“He brings that to me. I have so much fun with Minho and Sulli why bother struggle to start a futile conversation with him? My parents don’t even realize Siwon oppa and I out-zoning each other.”

“Do you need me to talk to him about this?”

“Naaah.. I stab you if you dare..”

Jinki laughs so hard until he fell of the bench. He pinches my cheek and makes me groan. If he doesn’t have those smiling eyes, I might really stab him.

“Ah! My bus is here!”

“Do you really need to go?” I put my puss in boots eyes. Jinki smiles and pats my head like he usually did.

“Of course! I need to practice with my brothers to secure the first place at the charity concert!”

“Oh, not that silly competition again. You too, Jinx?!”

“It’s quite big event! Why don’t you join Minho and Sulli? Your voice is not bad! Your family should beware of mine! Haha!”

“And embarrassing myself in front of many people? Not a chance!”

“Haha! Try it! You’ll love it!” Jinki stands up and kissed my top of head, “See you around!”

“Bye! Enjoy your practice! Send my kisses to Taemin and Eunhyuk!”

“No! It’s only mine! I don’t share yours with others! Bye!”

I laugh so loud. Jinki always able to make me laugh. I secretly pray to God to grant his wishes because his kindness deserves thousand years of luck.

“Promise me you talk to your brother!” He screams from the bus window.

“Why?!” I reply with another shout.

“Because family matters!”

***

Indeed, the Lee family is flawless. Their smooth performance is international standard! In a charity concert like this, they still managed to gain so many fangirls.

“How’s my part?”

“The best!”

“Really? Are you blind? Eunhyuk hyung and Taemin are perfect!”

“That’s nothing without your voice and your smile!”

Jinki’s radian smile once again makes me believe that I should start wearing shades near him. Eunhyuk join us to tease me and Jinki. He kept his promise to make me comfortable and here we are, trying to act as normal as can be.

“Why is he here? Doesn’t he need to work?!” I let a half scream out when I saw Siwon’s face near the crowd at the backstage.

“Everyone’s free to come!”

“He never leaves his desk to a such things like this, Jinx! Unless it’s a sport competition! With Minho in it.”

“You were gone for four years, people might change.” Jinki follow me looking at Siwon direction.

“Noona!! _______ noona!”

“What happened, Tae? Are you alright?!” Jinki asked his younger brother while shook his shoulders.

Taemin tries to catch his breath.

“I am alright, hyung. But your sister is not, noona!”

It’s like someone splashed a cold water with thousands cactus in it onto my face. I rush to the tent where Minho and Sulli were sitting before. My heart breaks apart when I saw Sulli’s face in grimace.

“What’s happened, baby? Minho! What you’ve done to your sister?!?!!!”

“Eonnie..”

I sit beside Sulli and hold her shoulders. I check her face thoroughly.

“What’s wrong? Where it’s hurt?”

“My foot..”

“What? Why? What’s happened to your foot?”

Sulli doesn’t need to explain. Her right foot swollen up almost twice size and turned purple.

“How can it be?!!?!!!”

“She fell on the track last week. She said it’s okay. But apparently it gets worse day by day!”

“Eonnie, I can’t sing with this..”

“No one going to sing! Not you, not Minho! We need to go to the hospital!”

“Noona, we have to be on stage!”

“No way! Are you idiot, Minho? Your sister in pain and you are so selfish like this?!!?!!”

“By we I mean it’s you and me, Noona!”

“Oh gosh! Stop it, Minho! It’s not a gag show! We need to bring her now! I saw Siwon oppa just now! You wait here, I’ll go get him!”

I am so ready sprinting looking for my brother, but Sulli grabs my wrist.

“Eonnie, let me tell you something.”

“We have no time! We need to take care your foot!”

“Eonnie, listen to me! I am the one who called Siwon oppa before! That’s why he’s here!”

“What?”

“You need to be on stage with me, Noona..”

“I find out about my foot two hours ago. I couldn’t walk suddenly. When I told Minho oppa, he’s as panic as you right now.”

“That’s not explain why Siwon oppa is here and why I should sing with Minho!”

“Being away from you is so hard for us, Noona. Mom and Dad always busy. So does Siwon hyung. When you’re around, you’re always able to brought us together as family. Quick dinner, small talk, fancy Face time, you named it. You are the glue of our family.”

“That’s why we decided to sing your favorite song, Eonnie. Well, we supposed to. We want to cheer you up because we love you too much and we are so happy having you around again.”

“But Sulli got that accident. We wanted to continue, but I can’t forced her to go up. She barely can move her right leg!”

“That’s why I called Siwon oppa. I begged him to come, I told him that you’re gonna perform with us. That’s the only thing brought him here.”

“So please, Noona.. Sing with me. I don’t care what people think and say, I don’t care about this competition anymore! Please do this for the sake of our family. For Sulli.”

I lost my words. Sulli almost cried. Minho’s puppy eyes begged straight to mine. I have no choice. These two people before me are my favorite treasure.

“Don’t blame me if I made us lost because of my cracked voice!”

Sulli and Minho hug me at the same time. Almost shed tears, I hug them back like a duck when finally found its duckling after separated for so long.

“Wait, which my favorite song that we’re going to sing?”

“Letter for you by MC Mong!”

***

I can still hear people clapped their hand after our performance. I was so nervous with so many people staring at me. But Minho keeps holding my hand during the song. It put me on ease. And to sing my favorite song with my brother just like old times is priceless.

“Ya! Choi Minho! You’re so unfair! You said you’ll sing with Sulli! What’s with _______’s killer voice right before our turn?!?!!!” Heechul shouts while walking toward us who just got down. I saw Key nags to Jonghyun while glance at me.

“Watch out, hyung! Watch out! Hahahaha!”

Eunhyuk and Jinki welcomed us with their warm hugs.

“It’s been so long since the last time I heard your voice! It gets better you know?!” Jinki looks so bright and still in disbelief.

“Really? I thought I missed some notes..”

“Well, that’s definitely a thread for our family!”

Minho and I laugh to Eunhyuk statement.

“Ya! Lee Taemin! Be good to Sulli! Make sure she’s recovered asap so _______ doesn’t need to take her place!”

“Now you understand why I do pay so much attention to silly thing like this, rite?”

“Yeah, thanks for being my reminder about this family stuff. I guess I was just too delusional and started imagining something weird. Minho and Sulli are definitely the things that I would never regret for having in my life.”

Jinki hug me so tight. It’s hard to breath under his arm, but gosh, I don’t even mind.

“How about that one?” He whispers to my ears. I pull myself out from his embrace.

“That one what?” I look at his face confused.

“That one.” He pointed his chin to my back. I follow his direction nonchalantly. Siwon’s standing behind me with his signature joker smile.

“Talk to your brother.”

“What if we start fighting and ruining the mood here?!”

“I’ll stick around,” Jinki pushes me to my brother’s direction. I sigh really hard and put a forced smile on my face.

“That’s great. I don’t mind being here for another hour listen to my sister enjoying herself on stage.” Siwon initiated to break the ice between us.

“Well yeah, you need both of Sulli’s feet swollen up, then!”

He laughs, kind of sincere laughter, very kind one yet so attractive. Kind of laughter that I’ve been longing for these past four years.

“I owe you an apology.”

“Me too.”

“Eunhyuk told me the whole thing.”

“What thing?”

“What do you feel about me being your brother.”

“I never told him anything about that.”

“Jinki told him.”

“That little rabbit?! Oh, gosh! I really need to stab him right now!”

“Hahaha! No need for rushing. He’s all yours!”

“Oh, I wish!”

“What’s with Lee family? First Jinki and then Eunhyuk!! Am I not cute enough to satisfy your eyes?”

I rush to hug him so damn tight. I used to run to him like this when I got bullied by my school mates because I was a fatty. And he’ll drag me along to show him who’s the one that made me cry and punished them all in one kick.

“I miss you, dude.”

“Me too.”

“I’m sorry for having a thought that you don’t love me at all.”

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you every single day that I love you.”

“No need, brother of mine! That would be really creepy!”

“Hahahahaha! Eunhyuk told me that you were pretty sure I’m trying to get rid off you by sending you abroad. Are you crazy?! After I spent all my money to put you in a great campus?”

“Heeeyyy.. Mom and Dad paid for that.”

“I did actually.”

“No way, they did. What’s wrong with you?”

“Well this is the ugly truth. They wanted you to go take finance for college. So after that you could help the company. But I don’t think that’s your passion. I saw your designs before. You are so into it. I talked to them about that. They didn’t believe me at all and stick to their plan sent you to business campus in Berkley. Short story, I made a deal with them. I decided to pay all your expenses if you allowed to go to design school like you always wanted.”

Someone said, what you don’t know won’t hurt you. They are so wrong. What you don’t know would put you in agony and that hurts you so much worst.

“Ugly truth? You called that ugly? That’s the most beautiful thing people have ever told me, you idiot!” I drown my face under the tears. He laughs and hugs me just like I always wanted during my hard times.

“Okaay, I need to go back to the office. I have a meeting with business development division.”

“At this very hour?” I take a look at my watch. It’s almost 11 pm.

“It’s a conference call with some people in America. Adjust your schedule or loose your chance.”

“Gosh, you’re definitely a workaholic!”

“Go see the mirror! Who didn’t come back home and forced the whole family to fly thousand miles just because she had internship that so important and if she leave that, she would regret it for her whole life!”

“Hahaha! Not the whole family! You didn’t come!”

“I thought you just said that I am a workaholic. Am I wrong?” He raised his eyebrow up and down, joking with me.

“Haha! Just go! Don’t ever hide anything from me anymore! You need to tell me every single thing in your life, Sir!”

“Haha! Why should I?!”

“Because family matters!”

“Is that another spell from Lee family? I don’t recall I taught you that.”

“I love you, oppa. I really do.”

***

The event almost finished. All the participant gather and snacking together in laugh. I choose to sit a bit far from the crowd after sent Sulli and Minho to the clinic nearest. Eunhyuk came with a bottle of water and sits next to me.

“It’s good to be back home.”

“This is the first positive thing you said to me since a very long time!”

I punch Eunhyuk’s arm which he returned it with a shout in pain.

“I need to apologize to you.”

“Wow! What day is it? Why suddenly everyone apologize to me?! First Siwon, now you. Is it a candid camera?”

“This is say the truth day!”

“Don’t make a such thing! Or I punch you again!” He makes a huge cross with his hands.

“I need to tell you something. Something that I should told you earlier.”

“Hmmm.. Go on..”

“It’s about me visiting you abroad.. It’s not because I want to play with your heart or simply teasing you by my existence.”

“Then why is that?”

“It’s my best friend order.”

“Who?”

“Your brother.”

“He told you to tease me?”

“No. He told me to visit you as often as I could because he’s to busy with his work. He’s afraid you’ll stressed and sad there because no siblings around. I didn’t want to because you know, we had a bad history before, remember? But he begged to me so miserably. He said you’ll be so lost without a big brother figure around you like him. He’s my best buddy, you know. How can I refuse that?”

After all this time. After all those barrier between me and my brother. He did that to me?

“He asked me to make sure I’ll always by your side when he’s not around.”

“That old man really need a stab! He never told me that he paid my whole tuition and now, you as his exchange?! Unbelievable!”

“That’s why you need to be grateful with a brother like that! Even if I ever wanted to do all the things he done for you to my brothers, I wouldn’t able.”

“Just make sure Jinki and Taemin being loved. It’s more than enough.”

“I know. I’ll try my best. That’s why I couldn’t make the things between you and me kinda.. official.”

“Is it even related?”

“Remember when I told you that Siwon sent you abroad and he asked me to visit you often? That was a great deal. A super offer that I would never refused! But when I got home so happily, I found my brother in a devastation. He said you’ll be gone for 4 years.”

“Who? Jinki?”

“Yeah. Back then, he just got accepted in the best music college in town that he always dreamed of. I realize he was in a huge dilemma whether he should stick to his plan or chase you to the other part of the world. It seems like his half is torn apart from him. Without being told what’s going on with him, I knew that he’s longing for you more than anyone in this whole universe. Well, yeah, after your sister-complexed brother off course.”

“You.. What the.. No way..”

I couldn’t finish my words. Speechless. This is too good to be true. Everything’s in my life just ruined. Mixed. Perplexed. But in a really really awesome way.

“Yes way. If I don’t know who Jinki is, I would fight for you even it would cost me my friendship with Siwon. But I know, every single cells in my body know, that he’s so much better than me! He knew everything about you so much better than me.”

I chuckled a bit. This is insane. Me and Jinki feel almost the exact feeling toward our siblings.

“That’s why.. I said to you that we are casual.. That I looked on you just like my sister.. But sometimes I couldn’t contain my feeling and it turned out hurting you so bad. I am really sorry about that, _______.”

I sighed. I always love Jinki. He’s the one that I can count in to. Every single time. I used to flirt with him back in junior high. But he’s so blunt yet so popular back then, which had pushed me to another galaxy from him. I buried my feeling into the ocean and living the life with Jinki would be forever my best buddy in it. Nothing more. But his brother confession just now is like a rainy day after such a long deserted village.

“If you don’t believe what I have just said, look at that.”

“What?!”

“Someone in the crowd always look worried and take a glance every 3 minutes toward us.. Nah.. Now you see that?”

Jinki looks at our direction while biting his lips. I feel warmth in both my cheeks. I suddenly so worried that Jinki would jealous or sad with me sitting next to his brother. No, Jinx! Nothing happened between me and him!

“Hahaha! Right, right.. I guess that my feeling to you is just a reflection about what I felt toward Siwon oppa, after all. I need a big brother figure to support me. And there you were.”

“Damn it! Now after I told you about my baby brother secret, you dumped me?!” Eunhyuk attacks me with his lame joke.

“Hahhaha! You are definitely an idiot!”

“I am! That’s why you like me right?”

“Of course!!”

“Haha! See you later, then!”

“Wait!” He’s so much ready to join the crowd before I let a shout to stop him.

“What?!”

“Well, just curious.. We were not knowing what’s gonna happen back then. And no one have an idea about our special bond, whether it would be great or not. Then why you’re so sure that you should let me go after you saw Jinki that night?”

“Because family matters, dear.”

“Just like that?!”

“Yeah. Simply because of that.”

He turns around and runs onto Heechul back. The oldest son of Kim family yelled so loud at him. I smile quietly and take my phone out of my pocket. I pressed the number that I memorized so well.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Jinx! Have time for a little chat with me?”

“Of course! Where are you now?”

“In front of the person I love the most.”

“Where is it? Your new boyfriend is here?!”

I heard some panic in his voice. I can hold my laughter any longer.

“Haha! Of course not, stupid. Because my new boyfriend is still couldn’t find me even though I’m already talking with him right now.”

“…….”

“Look on your left, Jinx.”

He turn his back and found me waving at him. I can see that his smile got wider.

“Soooo, are we ready for our first date?”

“If only you promise me not to let my hand go.”

I forgot my phone and just run to him with my contented heart. I jump to his arms and realize that it is the safest place I’ve ever been when my siblings were not around.

“I love you, Jinx.”

“I know.”

***