Rays of golden sunlight woke me up the morning things got better. The curtains were still opened from the night before. I had ended up falling asleep in my jeans and jumper against Chanyeol's chest- a place I once thought I could never sleep again. Everything was how it was the day before; the cieling light was still on and turned the room a warm orange and the covers were under our resting bodies that kept one another warm in it's place.

"Baek, are you awake?" Chanyeol's morning voice engulfed the silence like a crackling campfire.

"Yeah." I said under my breath not wanting to move. Not wanting to leave the spot I had made for myself in Chanyeol's arms.

"I need to tell you something. Look at me."

I turned to face him despite my wish to stay frozen in time with my back against his front.

He still looked pained and guilty. I held his hands so he knew that it was ok.

"I was thinking last night after you fell asleep. I want to make everything up to you. I want to-"

"Stop it." I sat up. "I forgive you. Ok? Please stop feeling so guilty. It will only make things harder."

"No, Baek, listen. I'll fix everything. I'm not doing this out of guilt. I'm doing this because you deserve it and I want to make you the happiest person on Earth."

A small part of me was convinced the care in his words was fabricated. I didn't want him to pretend just because he knew it would cheer me up after my mother's passing. I couldn't stand the feeling that scraped within my hollow stomach that this may just be an act of pity and sympathy.

"Don't force it, Chanyeol. You shouldn't force this stuff. If you don't love me you shouldn't have to pretend to make me happy."

"No! Baek! I said I loved you didn't I? I said that I made a big mistake. Don't, for one second, assume that I'm faking any of this. God dammit, Baek, I love you. Get it through your thick skull" Chanyeol raised his eyebrows in annoyance and flung his arms in the air.

"It hurts me that you don't believe me when I say it." He sighed and crossed his arms and I instantly regretted doubting him.

"Ok." We were now both sitting up beside one another. I felt a sudden urge to touch him, to feel his skin against mine, to just have any physical contact to ease the tense atmosphere. I turned my body so that I was facing him and sat on his lap, straddling his legs between mine whilst watching his gaze follow my eyes.

"I'm sorry. You're right and I completely believe you. My emotions are just... all over the place right now."

He nodded causing his bangs to topple over his eyes. I leant forward and brushed the hair away and off his forhead.

"But I'll let you fix everything if that's what you really want."

"Thank you, Baek. I promise I will never let you down again."

We stared into eachothers eyes for a short while before Chanyeol suddenly sprung into action. "I have an idea!" He grinned and started to get up. I had to move my body off his legs in order to let him move anywhere.

"We're going out. Can you be ready in an hour?" Chanyeol looked like a crazed maniac as he dashed around the room grabbing clothes and underwear and other items too.

"Yes."

"Ok, wait for me. I've got to go somewhere first." He rushed towards the bathroom which suddenly triggered an unconcious reaction within me to leap up and sprint towards the door blocking his way.

"I get the shower first!" I giggled trying to close the door but Chanyeol had pushed half if his body in the gap.

"Baekhyun! I gotta get ready fast. You have loads of time. Let me go first!"

"Nope! It's all mine." I laughed comically after pushing Chanyeol out of the gap in the door and slamming it shut.

Just after switching on the water and hanging my towel beside the shower I heard a timid knock at the door.

"Baek." Chanyeol whined like a child- dragging the middle of my name out in a high pitch.

I leant my ear against the door in order to hear him over the shower.

"Yes." I replied with a grin.

"Can I get in with you?" Chanyeol's muffled voice came through the door. I could tell he was pouting from the baby-ish tone in his voice.

I blushed at his request.

"No!" I laughed through red cheeks.

"Aw, please." He dragged out his words again expecting it to change my mind.

"No." I smiled into the door.

"It'll be faster."

"But it won't." Me and Chanyeol had never done anything ual before but I knew exactly what he was implying.

I heard him sigh from the other side of the door. "But-"

"No, Chanyeol. Another time."

"You're so mean. Why you always gotta keep me waiting?"

"The wait will be worth it." I laughed again hoping the other members couldn't hear us. "Go shower in Kyungsoo's room."

"Argh." Chanyeol yelled at the door before walking out the room.

My jaw now ached a little from how much he had made me smile. The aching was good though. It just meant that things were back to normal again.

After I had showered and dressed Chanyeol had already left the dorm so I decided to make myself some breakfast.

As I made my way through the white walls of our hallway towards the kitchen I heard a pair of soft voices. One sounded flustered and embarrassed and I distinguished it to be Jongin's but the other voice was too muffled and too far away to put a face to it.

I turned the corner to the kitchen and immediately stopped upon entrance. I gasped a little at what I saw but kept quiet and backed away in attempt not to disturb anything.

Jongin was sitting on the counter, his cheeks were rosy red and his smile was bright and wide, he was holding a hot chocolate in his hands and had some whipped cream on his top lip that he had obviously not noticed. Kyungsoo stood between his legs giggling with his hands on Jongin's thighs. The height difference between them was cute and I couldn't help but grin at what I had walked in on.

"You're cute." Kyungsoo smiled before reaching up and wiping the whipped cream from Jongin's lips. His thumb lingered there for a second too long and he started leaning in.

I panicked. "Morning!!" I yelled as if I had just entered the room.

Jongin froze with wide eyes and his cheeks turned an even darker shade of red. Kyungsoo leapt away from between Jongin's legs as if the counter was on fire and pretended to be busying himself with the coffee machine but I knew for a fact he had no idea how to use it. I struggled not to laugh at the flustered Kyungsoo. It was strange seeing him in such a state but I knew he wouldn't scold me. Not since what happened the other day.

"Hi. You feeling ok?" Jongin asked whilst getting off the counter.

"Yeah. Crying won't change anything anyway." I said and it was true. Crying won't bring her back, it won't ease the pain, it won't change the past.

Crying would only remind me how much it hurts and I wasn't ready to feel the pain again just yet.

Just not now. Not like this.

"Chanyeol's taking me out later." I rummaged through the cupboard for some cereal but instead found a bowl, some breadsticks and the rice cooker.

"That's good. I'm glad you two are ok again." Jongin patted me on the shoulder and I turn to find him holding a box of lucky charms.

"Thanks." I replied to both the statement and the lucky charms.

Kyungsoo left the room after whispering something I couldn't hear in Jongin's ear leaving us both alone.

As soon as he disappeared round the corner I gave Jongin an overexcited grin.

"Did you tell him?" I giggled.

"No."

I stopped giggling. "Seriously? How long is it gonna take?"

"Never mind that. Did you see what he did? He touched me Baekhyun! He was going to kiss me!"

"So, that means he's into you. Tell him!" I laughed at Jongin's nervousness.

"Ok, ok. It's not as easy as you think." Jongin mumbled as he headed towards the hallway.

"Good luck, buddy." I smiled as he left.

I was alone again. Just me and my lucky charms. Then my phone buzzed and a contact ID that I missed seeing popped up on the screen.

Chanyolk💕👑
red or yellow

Me
hm?

Chanyolk💕👑
which colour is better bby?

Me
red red red red!!!

Chanyolk💕👑
ok ty ❤

Me
why u ask?

Chanyolk💕👑
making something. it's a
secret though.  ;)

A confused smile stretched across my face as I put my phone on the table next to my bowl and continued munching my cereal.

Seconds after another messaged lit up my screen.

Chanyolk💕👑
pls tell me u like cheesecake
<(⇀‸↼‶)>

Me
channie r u kidding me??
you should kno thissss

Chanyolk💕👑
ik ik im sorry ily but i
completely forgot lol

Me
yes i lov cheesecake
whyyy???

Chanyolk💕👑
can't say aha

Me
ok........

Chanyolk💕👑
trust me bby

Me
i do i do ❤
When you coming back?
im lonelyyyyy

Chanyolk💕👑
ten mins
sorryyyyy

Me
:(((

Chanyolk💕👑
:(((

Ten minutes felt like ten hours as I paced through the living room already in my shoes and coat. I had no idea where Chanyeol was planning on taking me so I dressed casually and hoped he wasn't taking me anywhere too posh.

A click of the front door made me jump and I ran towards it to find Chanyeol grinning. I hugged him as soon as I saw his smiling eyes.

"Woah, woah. What made you so happy?"
He pulled away from my hug to look at my face with his hands on my hips. His cheeks were round above his smile- something that always made my heart beat faster.

"You." I giggled.

Chanyeol laughed along. "It's good to see you smiling again, Baekie."

Baekie.

That's what my mum called me.

I was no longer giggling with Chanyeol. I frowned a little as I broke our eye contact. I didn't want to cry today but the feeling caught me off guard. The same feeling I felt when I saw her paling body. A horrendous ball in my stomach that reminded me of something that I desperately needed to forget.

Please let me forget.

It's been two days since the incident at the hospital. I'm not over what happened. I don't think I ever will be but I'm glad that I have a good reason to smile at a time like this. Mum would've loved Chanyeol. Mum always loved it when I smiled.

And I loved it when she called me Baekie because that had been my nickname since birth.

Then suddenly I was home. Chanyeol's hands on my waist became the hands of my mother's lifting me up from the ground and into my highchair. I was never a good eater as a child. Mum always had to force the orange baby-food mush down my throat or else I just wouldn't eat it.

I sobbed. I missed her.

Chanyeol seemed to understand what was going on and pulled me into a delicate embrace. His touch was so gentle as if he thought I would shatter if he handled me carelessly.

"It's ok to be sad, Baek." He rubbed my back. Lightly, softly, carefully; trying not to graze my weak skin.

"I don't want to be sad though."

"I know. I know." He pulled away and held my hands. "Should we stay at home? If you're not up to doing this then I can save it for another day."

I shook my head.

"Are you sure? We can watch a kids movie if you like. They always cheer you up, don't they?"

It felt so good holding hands with someone who cared. It almost counter balanced the sorrow I felt within.

"I wanna see what you made me."

"Only if you are sure. It's ok if this is a bad day or if it's too soon. I can pack it away and save it for another time." He squeezed my hands and leant over so that he could see my eyes despite me looking at the floor.

"I'm sure. The suspense is killing me."

He smiled. I smiled. We hugged.

"Let's go, Baek."

Baek.

I liked that nickname more. It doesn't hurt.

Chanyeol drove me there in the car that was supposed to take me to the hospital that night. I could tell he was thinking that too when he pulled us over and said "Let's walk."

He held my hand on the way. It took away the pain.

We walked all the way to Han River; a park that held a horrid memory that replaced all the happy childhood nostalgia. I could tell Chanyeol was thinking that aswell but he brought me here for a different reason.

"I know this is a bad place to be right now but I've got a plan." Chanyeol reassured me.

The park was empty just like it was at 2am that night but this time a string of red bunting decorated the park. It stretched passed the benches between the trees and round the fountain bringing a pretty, upbeat feeling with it. I couldn't see where it lead to but I was curious.

Chanyeol lead me to where the bunting began. A red rose with a note tied to it was hanging from it. He didn't speak- he just watched as I unfolded the paper.

A handwritten note occupied the space inside.

Dear Baek,
I know you're sad. I know it's hard. But I'm here. I will always be.
I'm here to make things a little less sad and a little less hard.
So, walk with me on this path of red roses. Smile with me on this journey of life.
-Chanyeol

"Cheesy." I muttered and Chanyeol lightly punched my arm. Too lightly. As if he thought he would shatter me again.

"Get used to it."

I'd love to.

"Keep walking." He smiled.

"There's more?"

"Loads more. And they're all there for you. To make you happy."

"Chanyeol, that's so cheesy." I looked up at him and his giddy grin. "I love you."

"I love you too, Baek. I wish it was possible to put it into words how much."

"Gross." I said but my stomach did a double flip as my heart skipped a beat.

I felt as if I was about to float away up into the sky, passed the clouds, passed the satellites, up into the stars. I was so so happy. Unbelievably happy. Content and ecstatic.

"No, you're gross. Now keep walking!" Chanyeol pushed me forwards and towards the next rose.