My whole body shook with fear as the impending gravity of the situation sunk in. I was still unsure of my mother's exact situation but I at least knew it was far from good and I needed to be by her side as soon as possible.

At first I sprinted towards the exit of the park but quickly realised that the hospital was too far away to run to and I would need a lift. I fumbled through the numbers on my phone looking for anybody who could aid me at this moment in time. I had little to no contacts as I rarely used my phone to text and ended up narrowing my options down to a single person. They could drive, would most probably pick up their phone and would know where the hospital was. There was only one problem. My thumb hovered above the caller ID contemplating whether it was necessary but I had no choice but to call the only person who could help me at this time.

Chanyeol.

The phone rung and the wait for him to pick up seemed hours long but a groggy voice finally answered with a "What?"

"Chanyeol! Chanyeol, I need your help." I started frantically crying into the phone.

"What the hell do you want Baekhyun? It's 2 am." He spat his words making it clear he didn't want to hear my voice or have anything to do with me for that matter.

"It's my mum...  Please help me. Chanyeol I'm so scared.  You've got to help me...  oh god." My head was light and numb and I couldn't get my thoughts in order. Instead I just hysterically sobbed at the microphone. I wanted to scream but at the same time I wanted to curl up in a ball and suffocate.

"Are you drunk? This is ridiculous. I'm hanging up. Let me sleep."

"No, no, no. Don't hang up. Please help me Chanyeol. Please, my mum needs me."

The line went silent.

"Chanyeol?" I whimpered into an empty call. "No... Oh god, please, no."

I tried calling again and again but everytime he declined. My only hope had let me down and I was stranded.

I covered my mouth with a shaking hand and ran another through my hair not knowing what else to do. I was completely and utterly neurotic with worry and resorted to keeling over and sobbing against the cold ground.

I ran through my contacts again praying that I would find a savior when my finger ran across the name 'Jongin'.  I had no idea if he was capable of driving but I called him without a second thought.

"Baekhyun? What's wro-"

"Jongin, can you drive?"

"No. What're you do-"

"Oh god. Please wake up someone who can drive. It's an emergency." I finally managed to form an understandable sentence despite my heavy breathing and thumping heart.

"OK."

I ran my hand through my hair once again and tried to steady my breathing but it resulted in me feeling more aggravated and panicked.

"Hello?" Sehun's voice called through the speaker.

"Sehun, I need you to pick me up at Han River."

"But it's 2am."

"Please. I need help." My voice cracked under the pressure which triggered an urgent response from Sehun.

"I'm on my way."

Within minutes Sehun had finally pulled up at the entrance to the park and I stumbled into the passenger seat.

"Baekhyun, why are you crying? If this is about Chanyeol I'm going to kill him."

"Get to the hospital quick." I started to fasten my seatbelt.

"Are you hurt?" Sehun started to pull onto the road.

"My mum is in intensive care. Go faster!"

Neither of us spoke a word afterwards.  Sehun stared at the dark road ahead whilst I tried to clear my head and breath steadily. The drive there lasted 10 minutes. 10 minutes too long.

When we arrived at the hospital I sprinted to the entrance desk to ask the old nurse sitting there which room my mother was in. The hospital seemed crowded at such a late time. Nurses and doctors scurried to and fro taking no time to stop and chat.

At the mention of my mother's name the nurse perked up slightly and seemed to obtain a sudden sense of urgency.

"This way. " She said rather sternly and led us down a long hallway.

Sehun hurried closer and slipped his arms round mine so he was linking around my elbow.

"I'm scared, Baekhyun." He whispered as we turned a corner.

"Me too. "

A small man with half moon spectacles in a white doctor's coat was sat outside a closed room with a clipboard in his hand.

He stood up abruptly when he saw us approach. The nurse quickly left our side and hurried back down the corridor.

"Mr. Byun Baekhyun?" The small doctor asked. I noticed his voice was the same as the one I heard on the phone.

"Yes."

The doctor looked at his clipboard and then back at me with sad eyes.

I glanced at Sehun who was still holding my arm, we made eye contact and he hugged me closer.

The atmosphere was overpowering and gave me the most horrible feeling of fear and panic.

"Please sit down." The doctor signalled to the chair he had just been sitting on and I thankfully sank into it with Sehun still beside me.

"Your mother... " He paused for a few subtle seconds but they seemed to last a thousand eternities. "She had a withdrawal seizure at the rehabilitation centre."

I watched him as he flicked through his clipboard again. He seemed to be using it as a prop to stall his words.

"Now, normally seizures pass and it's not common for them to harm people in the long term but unfortunately... your mother vomited in . She choked and fell unconscious and was rushed here in an ambulance"

I shut my eyes and hung my head as the news progressed. I felt Sehun's grip tighten at every word.

"When we called you she was still breathing. I'm sorry, Baekhyun but she passed away just over ten minutes ago. Her airways blocked up and she unfortunately suffocated. We did everything we could to try and save her."

I looked back up at the doctor and shook my head in disbelief.

"If you like you can visit her room in a few minutes. I will notify you when it's time." The doctor left the corridor with a sympathetic frown but the tone in his voice told me he had said those words all too many times.

I sat frozen in shock and threatening to shatter into a million unfixable shards. I was afraid that one more miniature knock against my fragile surface would result it an irreversible mess. Two devastating heartbreaks in one day was more than enough for anyone, especially me.

"Baekhyun, I'm so sorry." Sehun's voice was high and disbelieving and his glossy eyes seemed to be on the verge of tears. He seemed so precious at that moment in time.

"Sehun. Please never leave me like that." I replied. My voice was vacant and destroyed. I felt as if I had no heart left in me to break and I was now an empty vessel shipwrecked in a sea of unfortunate events. My entire body was numb; my head was empty, my lungs were drained, my chest turned hollow. I felt dead.

"I won't. I'm so sorry." He apologized again.

I felt a crushing need to cry but my eyes remained dry. I thought that maybe I had been pushed too far and was no longer capable of being a normal human. Maybe I was really, truly broken and it was only a matter of time until my body would fail me too.

"Mr. Byun. If you would like to you can say goodbye to your mother now."

My bones felt unbelievably frail as I pushed myself off the seat and ambled towards the blue door of the hospital room. The room was bright and very well lit. Various wires s in different directions towards a lone bed holding a pale woman. Sehun had followed me in and a gasp escaped his lips as he walked behind me. A suffocating lump formed in the bottom of my throat and I felt my stomach turn in fear. I approached the bed and sat in a turquoise seat beside it.

My mother's eyes were softly shut but hung open. In movies the deceased always seem so beautiful and peaceful on their deathbeds- the reality of the situation is much more ugly and horrifying. Her muscles were dead and relaxed causing for her limbs and face to loosely sink downwards. It frightened me to see my beautiful mother so horrifically limp and static.

I reached forwards and held her chalk white hand. The contact suddenly triggered a disturbing realisation that I will never be able to hear my mother's soft voice again, I will never see her glossy smiling eyes or her wonderfully bright grin. The sorrowful body of a once beautiful woman was going to be the lasting and final image that will haunt me for the rest of my life. A solemn and inerasable memory of a corpse on a hospital bed.

"I'm so sorry, Mum. I could have been there... I should have been there. I let you down." And finally the tears broke out. Like painful drops of stinging rain they ran down my cheeks staining my once innocent skin. I'd seen something no son should ever see and out of all the people in the world it had to happen to me.

Sehun cried behind me too. It hurt me to hear his shaky breaths and I felt guilty for dragging him into this mess.

We stayed with tears falling from our red eyes and across our pale faces for several hours.

"I wish I could've been more help. I should've drove faster. I'm really sorry, Baekhyun."

"I promise it's not your fault, Sehun. You did everything you could." My nose was completely blocked and my voice was weak and nasally. I sniffed and looked up at my closest friend. He stood with his arms limply by his sides and his shoulders hunch forward, with sore red lips and foggy eyes he sobbed uncontrollably. The sight and situation was all too much for the young boy. I stood from my seat and before my knees could buckle a wrapped my arms around his shoulder and buried my head in his chest. It was my turn to be strong- I had put the poor boy through too much trauma and a brave face was needed to soften his guilt.

"Let's go." I sniffed, determined to keep my voice from wavering but the pain was too much.

"Ok."

We left the room and my mother and closed the door behind us. I hoped the medical blue barrier was enough to shut not only the traumatizing image but the memory too. I turned to see the sun rising above a city skyline from the hospital window. Despite feeling empty like a stranded shipwreck earlier I now felt as if a million sombre emotions were filling my body up leaving no room for a beating heart or breathing lungs. I had stopped crying but still felt as if my tear ducts were heavy and threatening to spill again.

"Oh, Baekhyun." A familiar voice interrupted my thoughts. The rest of EXO had been waiting outside of the hospital room for me. Junmyeon approached me and hugged me tight. The layer of water over his eyes told me he had already heard the bad news. After he had pulled away and told me everything will get better I was bombarded by another hug from Luhan who ran into my arms. He pressed his face against my shoulder, I could feel him crying onto my shirt.

"Baekhyun, I'm so sorry."

"It's ok, Luhan." But it wasn't ok. Nothing about this was ok.

Another 9 arms wrapped around my shoulders one by one including Sehun's who came to hug me for the second time. First Jongin, then Tao, Lay and Kris, after that Kyungsoo pulled me close and patted my back before Minseok and Chen came over to comfort me. I felt slightly more at peace surrounded by my friends. Then they all stood back revealing Chanyeol who was standing with his arms crossed watching each member say their condolences. I glared at him over the crowd of caring friends. He noticed my stare and we made eye contact. As soon as his cold eyes hit mine a raging fire was set within me. I felt a indescribable anger bubble within me as my whole body heated up. Without a second of contemplation I marched towards him. With an immense rush of strength that I didn't know I had in my I grabbed his collar and forcefully pushed him against the wall. His eyes widened in shock as his back hit the white surface.

"I called you!" I spat at his face. "You refused to help! You weren't there for me. That was the moment I needed you the most and you weren't there for me!" My voice cracked in angry dejection.

"Baekhyun, calm down." Junmyeon tried to intervene by shouting out to me but didn't dare come closer in fear of getting caught in the crossfire.

"It was clear I was in desperate need of help when I called you. You knew I was crying. You knew I was panicking. But you hung up because you wanted to sleep. What is wrong with you?" I pushed him further into the wall and released my grip on his collar. I didn't want to touch him anymore.

"Baekhyun. Stop it!" Junmyeon tried again but I ignored him. I wanted to tell the vile monster in front of me what I thought of him and I didn't want to stop until guilt had eaten away at his ice cold heart.

"You're disgusting." I spat. Chanyeol just stood and stared. "For months now all you have thought about is yourself. Get your head out of your and pull yourself together. You are not the most important person on the planet. The world doesn't revolve around you. Because of your narcissistic idiocy I missed the chance to see my mother alive for the last time."

I watched Chanyeol's face gradually fill with grief and panic as I yelled the disgusting truth across the corridor at him.

"I loved you." I suddenly lost my angry growl and had become weak and vulnerable. "I loved you so much. You've broken me, Chanyeol." I cracked. "You told me you would always be there for me... to make me happy. Where were you?" I broke.

I had gone from being a fuming mess into a spluttering wreck. My entire body was engulfed in a dreadful aching. My hands trembled and my whole face was sore and red. I was well and truly ruined and I blamed it entirely on the narcissist, Park Chanyeol.

I took a shaky gasp and sobbed out loud whilst I tried to avoid any eye contact the only way I knew how; by crying to the floor. I bowed my head whilst everyone watched with mouths agape and wide eyes. My sudden rush of sincere emotions left everyone completely stunned and they knew no other way to comfort me other than to freeze entirely.

I looked up at Chanyeol with blurred vision and he suddenly moved forwards. His body came in contact with his as he aggressively pulled me closer. I wriggled and pushed against his broad chest as his arms enveloped me in a strong hug. I tried to escape and squirm out of his grasp but he hugged me harder.  His head was resting in my hair, my hands were pushing against his chest. I wanted him to get off but he remained planted in place. Then I heard him sob. A short but violent intake of breath and a feeling of warm water droplets in my hair caught me off guard and I froze. I felt his chest and shoulders jolt as he cried and I no longer felt the need to get away. I moved my hands from his chest and closed the gap between us by wrapping my arms round his torso.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

No further words were spoken from that moment on. I relaxed into Chanyeol's body as he held me close for several minutes before Junmyeon decided it was time to get home.

I kept to myself the rest of the day and so did everyone else. The night had been completely and utterly traumatising. Nobody deserved to go through a fate as horrific as this.

I sighed as I entered my dorm room expecting to find Chanyeol asleep or showering but a painful sight overran my expectations as our bunk bed came into view.

Chanyeol sat at the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. His mouth was open and sore tears were falling guiltily to the floor. He whined and sobbed out loud unbeknownst to my presence.  

"Don't cry." I said.

A/N: I was listening to Trauma whilst writing this :)

I'm sorry I'm a terrible person