I knew that if I pointed out the wallet out I would cause another argument so I kept my mouth shut for the rest of the date. As we awkwardly sipped our coffee Chanyeol seemed to pay more attention to the position of his hair and the reflection of his face in the window than his own boyfriend. Several times I attempted to initiate a small conversation but got little to no response. 

"You're hair looks great." I reassured him as he adjusted his bangs once again. 

"Yeah." He mumbled. No 'thank you' or 'you too Baek.'

I nodded at the response whilst I fumbled around my head for another conversation starter. Thankfully my phone rang before the silence between us could grow too long. 

"Mum! Hi!" 

"Baekie, I have good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" I could hear that my mum was smiling as she spoke into the phone.

"The good news, of course." 

"I'm going to rehab, Baekie. I'm going to fix our family."

I suddenly teared up as she spoke. Her electronic voice filled my heart up with so many emotions and I smiled proudly as Chanyeol watched me from across the table. I made a point of not making eye contact with him as I grinned, I wanted to remind him what my genuine smile looked like but also to subtly let him know I wasn't smiling for him; I was smiling because the woman I have loved my entire life is doing such a brave thing for me. My very own mother is living up to her wonderful name and being the amazing parent she once was.

"I'm so proud of you." My voice cracked as joyful tears spilled from the corners of my eyes.

"I want to be a real mother again. I have promised myself that I am going to get sober so I can attend one of your concerts. I've always wanted to see you perform."

I could feel my heart glowing and warming up as she wondered out loud about the life she wanted to live without the sorrow and alcohol. Every word she spoke pushed another happy tear down my cheek and stretched my smile just a bit wider.

"What about the bad news?" I finally asked.

"If I go to rehab it would mean I won't be able to contact you until I'm fully sober but don't worry I will try as hard as I can to be better for your first concert in two months time." Her honey voice was hopeful and so was I.

Seeing my mother fully sober whilst watching me do what I loved the most was all I have ever wished for.

"That's ok mum."

"I should pack now. See you soon, Baekie. Look out for me at your next concert!" 

With that she hung up. I tucked my phone back in my pocket and wiped the tears from my cheek. For the first time in a while I could genuinely smile again.

"Who was that?" Chanyeol asked from across the table.

"My mum." I grinned. "She's going to rehab so she can attend our next concert."

I had never told Chanyeol about the situation my mother was in but thought it was a good time to let him know. Besides, I felt I could really trust him now and was willing to let him be the first member of EXO to find out. 

"Rehab? Is she a druggy?"

At that moment my blood began to boil in anger. He could insult me but no way in hell was I going to let him insult my dear mother like that. 

"No. Chanyeol, that's so horrible."

"What? I was joking." He chuckled.

"It wasn't funny. You're the only person I have told because I thought I could trust you. I was obviously an idiot to think you would care about something that is so important to me. I love you but you disgust me. "

With furrowed brows and a prominent frown I stood up and marched out the café leaving Chanyeol alone hopefully feeling very guilty. Another disgusting comment from the boy I loved made my heart shatter.

What caused him to become so heartless all of a sudden? 

It was clear that Chanyeol wasn't planning on chasing after me so I walked home alone.

Sehun came rushing into the kitchen as he heard me slam the front door in upset anger. 

"You ok, Baekhyun?" His voice seemed worried despite his calm facial expression.

"No." I barged passed him and down the hallway to my room. 

Once I had slammed the door behind me I violently struggled out of my "HAPPY WITH YOU" jumper and threw it towards the trash before slumping onto my bed. It hurt me to see it lying so solemnly by the bin- I hated the memories it held of our once happy relationship and it gave me an enormous urge to run a pair of scissors down the middle of it but I managed to refrain myself from doing so as Sehun entered the room.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked.

"No." I aggressively pulled my bedcovers over my head to block out any sights or sounds surrounding me yet Sehun persisted.

I felt his body come in contact with the bed next to me and an arm wrap around my shoulders.

"Then I'll just wait until you're ready to." 

Why did I have to befriend someone so stubborn? I let myself relax and released the waterfall of tears I had been holding in the entire walk home. I sobbed and spluttered under the covers like an ungrateful toddler. No longer caring about how ugly I looked when I cried, no longer caring about how childish it felt to let my emotions take over me, no longer caring whether I was wrong about Chanyeol's attitude. All I could think of was how happy I used to be when he told me he loved me and how that feeling may never come around again. Sehun just pulled me closer.

On a day like this I had a perfect reason to be smiling; my mother was going to rehab for me, but Chanyeol's sudden selfishness and lack of empathy overpowered anything joyful in my life. Chanyeol was quite possibly the most important person to me- I loved him with all my heart, so to see him turn into such a monster right before my eyes was absolutely heart breaking.

I finally pulled myself together and sat up on the bed. Sehun did the same.

"You ready to talk about it?" 

I nodded.

"Chanyeol's changed." Speaking with a blocked nose and a sore jaw from all the crying was difficult.

"I think I know what you mean?"

"Lately he's been so... horrible. And I don't know why." I began to cry again and Sehun pulled me into another hug. I buried my head into his grey shirt and smelt his sweet cologne mixed with the smell of Luhan and popcorn. I wanted to smile at the adorable assumption they were cuddling on the sofa watching a movie together earlier today but the pain in my heart dragged down the corners of my mouth enough to make me believe I would never smile again.

"I understand, Baekhyun. We've all noticed he has changed since debut." 

"Really?"

"Yeah. He used to be so caring towards you, now he only seems to care about himself. Luhan thinks the fame has gone to his head."

I nodded sadly. The sudden switch from nice-Chanyeol to mean-Chanyeol made a lot more sense now and I felt a lot less upset and more so disappointed.

"I want my real boyfriend back." I sniffed triggering another flood of tears.

"I know, Baekhyun. I'm sorry, I wish I could help." Sehun rubbed my back sincerely as I soaked his shirt. 

Several minutes later a click from the door and a gentle gasp indicated Luhan had entered the room and noticed me crying in Sehun's arms.

"Is he ok?" He whispered to Sehun.

I felt Sehun shake his head before replying "Chanyeol." which seemed to answer all of Luhan's questions because he sat on the bed behind me and joined in with our hug.

It seemed like hours had passed before I took a shaky breath and pulled out of the arms of the two members who were cocooning me. They both sat upright either side of me and gave sympathetic smiles.

"Things will get better. I promise." Luhan held my hand as I glanced at him with puffy red eyes.

"Thank you." I croaked, barely audible.

"Do you want to come and sit with us in the living room? We were watching a movie." Sehun asked.

I nodded in reply and weakly stood up and walked out the room with Luhan and Sehun leading the way. 

As we made our way down the hallway we passed Chanyeol who was supposedly heading to our room. He glanced at my red lips and sore eyes and I noticed a guilty expression run across his face but it left almost as quickly as it had appeared and he looked away carelessly.

Sehun tutted at him and Luhan shook his head making it very clear he wasn't welcome in our presence so he quickened his pace and entered our room closing the door behind him.

The two boys had set up a cosy area on the floor in front of the TV. They had completely disregarded the point of a sofa and had set up a comfy blanket tent. Despite the lack of sturdiness and size the tent presented I felt very comfortable and content snuggled in between Sehun and Luhan under a beige blanket eating popcorn and sweets whilst watching the ending of a kids movie. The whole time I thought about how thankful I was to have supportive friends such as these two who seemed to always be there for me.

As the credits rolled onto the screen Sehun turned to face me. I had calmed down quite a bit and had stopped crying so physically I looked a lot better, however, inside I still felt a sorrowful sinking in the pit of my stomach.

"Baekhyun, I have a question." Sehun announced.

Luhan shuffled closer in order to include himself in the conversation.

"Don't you think that it's time to break up with Chanyeol if he makes you feel this way?" Sehun asked.

I quickly shook my head. "I would never do that."

"Why not? You clearly aren't happy." Sehun dug deeper and Luhan shook his head.

"Stop it now, Sehun." He said.

"Because somehow I still love him, he still does things that make me want to kiss him and I promised to always be there for him forever and ever and ever and ever." I answered nevertheless. My voice sounded nasally through my blocked nose. 

"You have a kind heart, Baekhyun. You always see the best in the worst of people." Luhan patted my shoulder.

"Things might get better. I just wish it would hurry up." My voice trailed off and so did my thoughts.

Soon my mum will be fully sober and coming to my concerts. Maybe then I will be less stressed and sensitive and Chanyeol will love me more once again. Or maybe it's just a phase that Chanyeol will grow out of. Either way, there's always one good thing about hitting rock bottom: the only way from there is up.

Sehun glanced at his phone screen. 

"It's half eleven. We should go to bed. I guarantee Suho will wake us up with some loud sound again tomorrow and I think I might murder him if I don't get enough sleep."

Me and Luhan nodded in agreement and we all began to clear the living room of the mess we had made.

Midnight had passed before we had finished tidying so we all had to sneak through the hallway to our dorms. Sehun offered to let me sleep in his dorm to get away from Chanyeol for a night but I politely refused and told him that running away from him won't fix the situation. We all said our goodnights and carefully entered our rooms making our best efforts to be as silent as possible.

I crept towards the bed to find Chanyeol spread out across it. As I attempted to squeeze in next to him he grunted in his sleep giving me a clear indication to leave him alone. The top bunk had no covers on it so I had to sleep under a large scarf Jongin had left in the wardrobe, I instantly regretted refusing Sehun's offer to sleep in his dorm with him. Fortunately the night wasn't too cold and I managed to sleep in peace despite feeling considerably lonely without Chanyeol's arms around me.

I dreamt of a monster living under the bed that night. How ironic.