Mark

He shifted his position again, and put both his hands on my shoulders, pulling me away from him so we would face each other. "Let's go home, I'll walk with you" he said firmly. I nodded and wiped away my tears with the sleeve of my hoodie. Jackson had stood up already and reached down his hand.

"Take it easy, okay?" he said, as if I had gotten hurt somewhere. I took his hand and he pulled me up. He patted the dirt off of my clothes, forgetting about his own, and took my hand in his. "Let's go" he said, smiling lightly, and started to walk towards the apartment, which was only about ten minutes away from here.

Even though his grip was a little too tight, I didn't say anything and followed him home. I couldn't take in any of the surroundings anymore. All I could wrap my head around was Jackson, and the fact that he was holding my sweaty hand. He was walking slightly ahead of me, pulling me along with him. I watched the back of his neck, and the small silver necklace he was wearing. I watched his muscular arms, and the way his t-shirt was a little too big. His was also nice.

He looked back every now and then, to make sure I was still there, even though we were holding hands, which should make it pretty obvious that I was. Every time he did that, I could see the expression on his face change from looking worried, to smiling at me comfortingly. I would try to smile back, as if to tell him I was sort of okay now.

We reached the apartment pretty quickly, and once inside our room I decided to take a shower. Jackson seemed a bit hesitant to let me, but decided to clean out the bathroom of any potentially dangerous objects. "You can shower, but you can't shave today" he tried to say jokingly, but I just felt embarrassed, and I could feel my neck and cheeks getting red.

After he was done, he handed me a towel and some clothes, and said he would be right outside if I needed anything. I felt like he would be trying to keep a metaphorical eye on me, to make sure I wouldn't try to choke myself on soap or anything. I thanked him anyway and walked inside, locking the door. I figured he could break down the door if he really wanted to. Somehow I felt more safe and comfortable if I locked the door.

I took off my clothes and stepped inside the shower. The hot water felt like the exact feeling of returning home after a long day of working hard. I felt the tension in my body slowly disappearing and my muscles relax. I just closed my eyes and stood there for a while, without even touching the soap.

Jackson

I listened closely at the bathroom door, even though it was definitely an invasion of privacy. I just needed to make sure he was okay. Besides the water running I didn't hear anything, so I told myself it would be fine. I sat down on the floor, with my back against the bathroom door. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. Just one breath later I was sobbing uncontrollably, the tears finally coming out now. I was still having trouble wrapping my head around it all. Not Mark. ing hell.

My head hurt and I felt like the pit in my stomach could swallow me whole. I prayed Mark wouldn't hear me. I needed to be strong for him, I needed to take care of him. I promised myself I wouldn't let him try anything like that ever again. Even if it meant staying by his side 24/7, I didn't care. I just wanted him to be okay. I wanted him to be happy and not do, or even think about, like that again. He had no idea how much me he meant to me. If I would have lost him, I honestly would have lost my ing mind. I felt like I could keep crying forever. Not ing Mark.

When I heard the water stop, I quickly got up on my feet and dried my face with my shirt. I walked towards the mirror to make sure I didn't look like I had been crying, and I slapped myself on my face lightly a couple of times. I then decided to take my shirt off and look for a clean one. The room was a ing mess. I told myself I would clean our room later, to make sure Mark would be as comfortable as possible.

I heard the bathroom door open and turned around to see Mark, who had put on the shirt and sweatpants I had given him. The towel was still in his hand, as he was rubbing it in his hair to dry it. The sight made me smile. He just looked like normal. He looked up at me and gave me a small smile, but quickly looked down again, blushing lightly.

Mark

Even though I had seen Jackson shirtless a countless amount of times already, I still wasn't used to it. He just looked so ing good, I couldn't get over it. I was a bit jealous of his body, but I also felt privileged to share a room with him, so I could quietly admire the way he looked whenever he would take his shirt off. Which was often. If he only knew how crazy it made me to see him like that. I told myself to get my together and get over myself. Jesus Christ.

Jackson

I finally found a clean shirt and put it on. I looked at my phone to see what time it was, and realised the others would be back soon. My first thought was of relief, since Mark would definitely not do anything crazy while the others were home too. But then I thought of what I had promised him, and I realised it would be hard to keep this a secret from them. I looked at Mark, who was now sitting on his bed, scrolling through his phone and listening to music.