Mark

In this world of darkness, my sleep had started out as quite peaceful, the pastel colours of the sky I had been looking at while walking next to someone who made me feel the happiest I had been in a while, the rows of trees along the pavement changing colours and gently moving with the early autumn breeze, it was all just a pleasant, cotton candy dream, which it hadn't been in a while.

But my dream turned into a horrible nightmare, dark thunder clouds swirling angrily in the sky, the wind becoming harsh and relentlessly blowing all the leaves from the trees who were left bare and cold, Jackson, who was crying because I had hurt him. And me, wanting to die all over again.

Jackson

It was probably around 4 AM, when a sound woke me up. It took me a little while to identify what it was, but I soon recognised it as crying. Mark. I quickly jumped out of bed and the light, and I saw Mark in his bed, still sleeping, all curled up while tightly grabbing onto his blanket. Tears were streaming down his face and his cheeks were red. His eyes were still tightly shut, and his lips were trembling, sometimes allowing a sob to escape them.

I walked over to the side of his bed and knelt down on the floor beside him, so I could face him properly. I then carefully put my hand on his, which was still tightly holding onto the blanket just in front of his face. "Mark?" I said quietly but just loud enough for him to hear. His breathing quickly became steady as he slowly opened his eyes. He looked at me with tear streaked eyes for a second, before he sat up, retracting his hand from below mine, and using both his hands to quickly wipe away his tears.

I stood up and sat down on his bed next to him, careful to still give him enough space. "I'm so sorry J-Jackson" he suddenly blurted out, crying again, and putting his head in his hands, hiding his face from me. I shifted closer to him and wrapped my arm around him, pulling him into a tight hug. "Sssh, it's okay... It's okay" I said, trying to comfort him. It made me sad that he couldn't even have a peaceful sleep, and I knew he desperately needed it.

"It's j-just- I d-don't want to l-lose y-you" Mark sobbed in between shaky breaths, hiding his face in my shirt. I pulled him even closer to me. "You're not going to lose me, okay?" I replied. "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere" I added, and I meant every word of it. He looked up at me, his eyes looking even bigger than usual. "You p-promise?" He asked, his voice breaking a little. "I promise," I said, and put my hand on his head, as if that would somehow confirm my promise.

Mark

I hated everything. I hated the fact that I couldn't even sleep, I hated all my insecurities and the fact that I was a burden, I hated all the pressure that was put on me, I hated that I was a disappointment, and I hated my very existence. I hated everything but Jackson. I felt safe in his strong arms, and his steady heartbeat calmed me down. And he would be there. He wouldn't break that promise.

After a while the tears stopped coming, and I felt like I could finally breathe normally. I shifted myself out of Jackson's arms and reached for my water bottle on my nightstand. I drank about half of it in big gulps, and put it back in its place. "Feeling better?" Jackson asked carefully. "I don't know" I replied, deciding to just be honest. "Want to try and get some sleep still?" he asked. "No..." I said quietly. I didn't want to go back to sleep only to get nightmares again.

"Um, would you like me to sleep here with you?" he asked, sounding as if he'd just asked me a really personal question he was itching to know about. Even though I hadn't thought of it consciously, I still doubted whether he could actually read my mind. "Yes?" I replied, probably sounding like I wasn't sure, while I sure as hell was. He smiled "Alright then".

He pulled his legs up onto the bed and shifted his position so he was behind me. He then put his hands on the hem of my sweater, one hand on each side, accidentally brushing his fingers against my bare skin, which was below my t-shirt. I shifted at the touch, but he pretended not to notice. "Let's take this off, okay?" He said, while tugging at my sweater a bit. "Your shirt will be enough, otherwise you'll be too hot" He explained.

"May I?" he asked sweetly. I just nodded, too tired to suggest otherwise, but also feeling a bit nervous at the same time. I put up my arms in the air, and he pulled up my sweater, my t-shirt going up along with it without permission. He took off my sweater and pulled my t-shirt down again. "Sorry" he said. "It's okay" I replied. I felt myself blushing again.

Jackson

Mark usually didn't take his shirt off in our room, or anywhere else, for that matter. So when I saw his it startled me for a second, because damn, he looked good. It was only for a brief moment, but I was able to see how he had a slender figure, while still having clearly defined muscles. He honestly looked like a painting, or like, a really detailed sketched drawing. Holy .

Mark

I felt Jackson shift behind me again, and I looked around to see he had laid down on the bed. He was lying on his side, facing me, and kept his head up with his hand, weight resting on his arm. He smiled at me and lightly patted the empty space next to him, indicating me to lie down too. I did, but I wasn't sure if I should face him or not, so I decided to lie on my back.

It was a single bed, so there wasn't much space for the both of us, and we basically had to either lay very straight alongside each other and awkwardly touch from shoulder to thigh, or cuddle to sleep somehow comfortably. I was glad Jackson opted for the second choice.

He shifted himself closer to me and wrapped his arm around my waist, putting his other arm that was previously supporting his head, under my neck, and pulling me even closer to him. I couldn't help but smile a little. I rolled over to my side to face him, and put my hands on his chest, so I could feel his calming heartbeat. He hugged me tightly, and put his chin on the top of my head. There was probably room for one more person on the bed by now.

"We forgot about the light" I suddenly remembered. " the light" Jackson replied, already sounding a bit sleepy. "Jacksooonn, I can't sleep with the light on" I whined "Let me go and turn it off, please?" Jackson sighed, let go of me and jumped out of the bed instead, quickly turning off the light and returning to bed.

He found back the exact position we were in before, and lowered his face a bit, pressing a soft and warm kiss on my forehead. "Good night Markipooh" he mumbled quietly, and I felt him smiling. My heart was beating like crazy and I thought I would die right then and there. "Good night" I replied, my voice almost completely silent.

I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep at all, but after a while I found myself completely comfortable in his embrace, and I couldn't even remember what it felt like without him there. I wished I could just stay like this with him forever. It was the best sleep I'd had in literally years.