Jackson

Mark seemed okay now, but I felt like he would need some more time to recover from the shock. Honestly, so did I. So I decided I would take him out for dinner, just the two of us, rather than having to face our fellow group members and eat dinner with them, as if nothing had happened. 

I quickly texted Jaebum that me and Mark were eating out, and then texted Mark, as I didn’t want to interrupt him in his bubble. “Hey, let’s go out for dinner, what do you feel like?” I texted him. I looked at him, hoping he would agree to go out with me. But like, as roommates. To get dinner. He looked up from his phone and briefly looked around to find where I was, which was sitting on the edge of my bed. He gave me a small smile and took out one earbud. “Chicken?” he said. I smiled widely back at him and nodded. 

Neither of us bothered to change our clothes and decided to just go out like that, with shabby t-shirts and sweatpants. Looking fine as hell. Honestly, Mark could wear anything and always look cute. I tried to imagine him wearing a garbage bag and quietly chuckled, because damn, he would still look cute as . Mark, who was walking next to me, looked over at me and raised his eyebrow. . “It’s nothing,” I quickly said to him. 

The streets were pretty quiet by now, and the sun was about to set. I was hoping the scenery would somehow make Mark feel a bit better. The sky looked beautiful, with all its different colours, and the early autumn breeze felt warm, but not too warm. It was actually perfect. I noticed the leaves in the trees were starting to change their colours too. “It’s pretty nice out here, right?” I said tentatively, trying to make some conversation. “Huh? Oh, yeah I guess” Mark replied, seeming like he was lost in his own thoughts. I just hoped they weren’t bad ones. 

Mark

I just wanted to forget about today. It all just seemed like a bad dream now, even though I damn well knew it wasn’t. This was something I couldn’t just wake up from. The thought of doing something like that had floated around in my mind for a while now, and after today’s practice I just couldn’t take it anymore. I really thought it would just end. And even though it didn’t, I was kind of relieved. At least someone knew about it now. In a way it kind of felt like coming out, although that was something I still needed to do at some point. Or not. Who the knows. 

I looked over at Jackson, who seemed to be enjoying the sunset, judging from the small curve his lips made at the corner of his mouth. I felt my face slowly getting red again so I diverted my gaze to anywhere but his lips. Ah yes, that stop sign in the distance. Very intriguing. Very appropriate too. Jesus Christ. 

The chicken place was still a few blocks away, and we just walked together in silence. We could’ve easily gone to a BBQ chicken place that was nearer to the apartment, but we both knew the one we were going to had the best fried chicken in the world, so we had to walk a bit longer. Totally worth it though. 

While we walked, I caught myself looking at his hand, which was just dangling by his side, following the rhythm of his walking pace. I caught myself wanting to hold it, just like before. Even though it was probably just to make sure I wouldn’t run off onto the road again, it still had felt nice, his fingers entangled in mine. For a brief moment, I contemplated whether I should just go for it, but quickly shook my head, trying to make the thought disappear. Jackson turned his head to look at me. . “You okay?” He asked. I tried not to blush. “Yeah, fine.” I replied.

After a couple of minutes of walking in silence and me feeling awkward as , we finally reached the chicken place. We went inside, and the owner kindly seated us in the corner of the shop, so we wouldn’t be too visible. We were regulars there, and the owner knew how much of a hassle it would be if someone recognized us. We love our fans of course, but sometimes we just want to eat some chicken in peace. We ordered the usual, and quietly waited for our meal to arrive. Jackson kept taking off his rings he was wearing and putting them back on. He seemed to do that when he was nervous. 

“Are you okay?” I asked him carefully. He quickly put his ring back on and folded his hands together. “Yeah, just fine” he replied with a smile. I wasn’t too convinced, so he added “Just hungry, can’t wait for this chicken to finally come!” It had literally been about half a minute. I suppose he felt a bit awkward around me, after everything that had happened today. I desperately wished I could take it all back. 

“I’m sorry…” I started slowly. “For what?” he asked, with a concerned look on his face. “Everything… I’m sorry you had to see me like that… I-I really- I’m so sorry Jackson…” I looked down at the table, afraid and embarrassed to look him in the eyes. I saw his hands move forward, and they both grabbed my hand, which was on my napkin. His hands were a bit clammy, but I didn’t mind. I looked up, right into his dark and serious eyes. “Don’t ever apologize for something like that, okay?” He said “It’s not your fault”. I felt my heart skip a beat when he said that. He sounded like he really meant it, and I was about ready to jump into his arms and cry for hours. But I didn’t.

Jackson

I had no idea what to do. I had no idea if holding his hand would comfort him or scare him away. I had no idea if my words would help, or if he would just not believe them at all. But I tried. I had to, for him. They seemed like the right things to do, but I honestly had no idea. Mark didn’t seem to mind me holding his hand, and he also hadn’t dismissed what I had just said to him. He just looked at me like he was about to cry. 

Mark

“Don’t cry Markipooh” Jackson said sweetly, with the cutest little pout. I smiled at him, trying (again) not to blush furiously. He took his hands back and put his now smiling face into them, leaning his elbows on the table. “That’s my Markipooh” he said, smiling even wider. This boy will be the death of me one day. 

Jackson

Seeing Mark smile again made my heart flutter. He had smiled at me before, but this time it felt like he was really okay now, and it made me the happiest person alive. Even though his eyes were still a bit teary, they didn’t seem so sad anymore. I just wanted to walk over to his side of the table and hug him tightly. But I didn’t. Instead I drank some of my water. When was this ing chicken going to arrive?

Mark

After some minutes of awkwardly smiling at each other, the chicken finally came. The chicken was delicious like always, but there was something different about it this time. It was like it somehow allowed itself to be tasted more, the flavours wanting to make me happy. I felt like a little kid who finally, after many days of begging his mom, got to eat his favourite food, and it tasted even better than he remembered from last time. A small but genuine smile escaped from my lips. This chicken was ing amazing. 

I looked up to see Jackson smiling widely at me, as if he just heard all my thoughts. “So good, right?” he said, eyes sparkling. I finished chewing some chicken that was still in my mouth and swallowed. “Yeah” I chuckled in reply. I quietly wished he couldn’t actually read my mind. I would be in so much trouble if he did.

Jackson

I felt so happy I was almost afraid my chest would explode. I was glad I had taken him out for dinner. Not only to not have to deal with our other band members, but also to be able to eat this tasty food, rather than plain food from the convenience store, which we ate way too often. Seeing Mark so happy about the food made me enjoy it more as well. He wasn’t wrong to be so happy about it though, this chicken was somehow better than ever; it tasted awesome.