Mark

As soon as the music started again, I knew something was wrong. Even though the first few moves were not that intense, I was already out of breath and my heart was pounding. I just continued the choreography and tried my best not to let the others notice. , this choreography is not that hard. Just keep it the together, Mark. It'll be over soon enough.

My heart kept beating faster and faster, and I felt like my lungs were on fire. But I had to keep going. I couldn't fall apart now, not in front of everyone. I had to keep it together, just until after practice. I was exhausted. Next up was my jump, and even before my feet were off the ground I knew I was going to fall. The floor hit me pretty hard, but I was able to somehow catch the fall, so I didn't get hurt.

Jinyoung and Jackson ran over to me immediately, while Jaebum signalled to our choreographer to turn off the music, even though it was a bit unnecessary, and then walked over to me as well. Jinyoung sat down in front of me and asked if I was okay, his voice serious. He then proceeded to check for any injuries, his eyes looking worried. Jaebum stood next to him and leaned down a bit, placing a hand on his shoulder and awaiting the verdict.

Jackson just sat next to me silently, facing me, and held my hand tightly. He brought up his other hand, and wiped away my tears with his thumb. I hadn't even realised I was crying. I wanted to tell them I wasn't hurt, but I somehow couldn't speak. My throat hurt like hell and my eyes were burning. I only noticed I was shaking when Jackson started to rub his hand up and down my back, while softly speaking to me. "Ssshh, it's okay".

"He doesn't seem to have any injuries, but..." Jinyoung started, sounding increasingly worried. "Should we take him to the hospital? Could be something internal" Jaebum said, trying to sound matter-of-factly but unable to hide his worry. I quickly shook my head. I wasn't hurt. I was just... I don't even know what I was. All I know was that I felt like something was crushing my heart.

I wanted to get out of there, I didn't want anyone to see me like this, I wanted the ground to swallow me whole, I wanted to die. I suddenly felt Jackson's hand stop rubbing my back and lightly squeezing my shoulder. He then stood up and I looked up at him. His eyes met mine and it was like they understood. "Can you stand?" He asked. I nodded and he helped me up.

As soon as I was standing I heard Jinyoung's sigh of relief, and I saw Jaebum giving me an encouraging smile. Yugyeom, Bambam and Youngjae were standing together, a bit further away to give me enough space but close enough to see I wasn't hurt. They all looked relieved that I was okay. But I wasn't. I could still feel hot tears streaming down my face and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Jackson put an arm around my shoulder and told the others he was taking me outside for a bit. Even though they looked a bit confused, the other members agreed right away and Jaebum told Jackson that if we needed anything to just call. "Let's go" Jackson said softly, and carefully nudged me to start walking. I let him drag me along with him, not being able to protest. I also didn't want to.

As soon as we reached a quiet bench outside, Jackson sat me down and I started sobbing uncontrollably. , I didn't want to be like this. But somehow being out of that damned practice room and away from the people who didn't know I had tried to kill myself the day before, opened the floodgates. I pointlessly put my face in my hands and rested my elbows on my thighs. I felt Jackson sit down next to me, and he put his arm around me, pulling me into a comforting hug. He didn't say anything and just let me cry.

After a while I started breathing more steadily, and while I was still crying, I felt a bit better now. I took a deep breath of fresh autumn air and relaxed into Jackson's embrace. He had both his arms around me and rested his chin on my head while I leaned against his chest. He moved his head down a bit and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. He then moved his head up slightly again, his lips against my hair. "What happened?" He mumbled quietly.

I didn't know how to reply. Instead, I grabbed the fabric of his tank top at his waist and pulled him closer. His arms tightened around me and he didn't say anything else. I closed my eyes and let myself be surrounded by him. I listened to his heartbeat and took in his familiar and comforting scent. He felt warm, and I wanted to be in his arms forever. I loved him.

Jackson

Mark was still crying, but at least he was breathing normally now, which made me think it was all going to be okay. I knew he wasn't hurt by the fall, but there was something deep inside that made him sad like this. It broke my heart to think that something could make him feel this way. I fought back my own tears, and focussed on comforting him. If there were anything I could wish for, it would be for him to be happy.

After what seemed like hours, he stopped crying and took a few deep breaths. He then looked up at me and quietly said "Thank you". I must've looked confused, because he quickly added "For getting me out of there". His eyes had something in them that I couldn't quite figure out. I gave him a smile and gently squeezed him against me. "It's okay," I said. He tightly wrapped his arms around me. "Anytime" I added, with a wide grin on my face.

We just stayed like that, hugging each other tightly, not caring about people that might've seen us. Not caring about anything else, actually. Mark was cuddled up against me and still had his head against my chest. I prayed my heart would behave and not start beating like crazy, because he would surely notice. I was drawing circles on the back of his neck, and he sighed, making a little muffled noise against my chest. He closed his eyes and I wanted to cuddle him to death.

"I don't want to go back there," he mumbled, eyes still closed. "You don't have to," I said, and I took out my phone to text Jaebum. I texted him that we would just go home so Mark could rest. Okay, we'll meet up with you guys later he texted back. About two seconds later I got a text from Jinyoung saying Make sure he eats! I smiled and put my phone back in my pocket. I loved our group; everyone was always so understanding and kind to each other. Except when we were teasing each other, of course. I wondered why Mark was so afraid to tell the others about how he was really feeling.

A few more minutes of cuddling later, I let go of Mark so I could face him, and he sheepishly opened his eyes and looked at me, giving me a little smile. I felt like leaning down and softly giving him a kiss, but thought better of it and didn't. "Wanna go home?" I asked him. He nodded and carefully let go of me to stretch out his arms, taking a deep breath. Sleepy Mark was most probably the cutest Mark, and I felt myself falling for him even more.