Mark

After all the cups were decorated and filled with sweets, it was time to head to the venue of the fan meeting. For some reason, Jackson insisted that he sat next to me in the van, which made me feel all sorts of things. I couldn’t decide wether “happy butterflies” or “crippling anxiety” was more prominent, but I figured the line between the two was very fine. Without anyone else noticing, Jackson took my hand in his and squeezed it a little. As an automatic response, my lips curved into a shy smile and I calmed down instantly.

During the drive, Jackson kept holding my hand, only letting go when he was conversing passionately and needed both hands for gesturing and increased dramatic effect. I loved it when he did that. “No but hyung, you don’t understand,” Jackson told Jaebum “the chicken was this big! I thought it was going to hurt me!!” He said, hands gesturing the size of the apparent ferocious beast and then placing his fingertips on his chest as if he was fragile. As if he didn’t have the most perfect strong muscles under that shirt. Jaebum just laughed at him and shook his head. “For real! It was really scary!” Jackson defended himself, although he couldn’t contain his laughter either. 

Jackson suddenly turned to me “You believe me, right?” He asked pleadingly. I smiled at him reassuringly and said “Of course I do”. He smiled back at me and gave me a sideways hug, laying his head on my shoulder. “At least Markipooh believes me, so it’s okay” he said cutely. My smile only grew bigger and I had to restrain myself from ruffling his hair. “Eeeww since when did you guys get married?!” Bambam exclaimed loudly. I felt my heart drop, but luckily Jackson knew exactly how to respond. 

“Aw, are you lonely Bambam?” He said in an overly cute tone. “Come here, I’ll give you a kiss” he said, and proceeded with leaning over to Bambam with his lips in a pout, attempting to kiss him. “No, oh my god, Jackson stop” Bambam laughed while moving away as far away as possible from Jackson. The others in the van also laughed while Bambam was screaming for Jackson to get away from him.

Jackson

We arrived at the venue pretty quickly, and after we got inside and were backstage waiting for the host to announce us, I made sure to stand behind Mark so I could sit next to him at the table. It was hard for me not to wrap my arms around him in a back-hug. There was just something about today that made me want to touch him at all times, wether it was wrapping my arms around him, or just simply brush my hand against his when no one else was looking. 

The host finally announced us, and we walked onto the stage, happily waving at our fans while they cheered our names. I was smiling from ear to ear and looked over to Mark to see he was smiling widely too. It warmed my heart to see him so happy, he deserved this, all the happiness in the world and all the love in the world.

Once we sat at our places, the fan meeting started and it was time for ridiculous games and exposing the members. I loved fan meetings though, as it gave us a chance to thank them for their endless love and support. I hoped the fans would also cheer up Mark, to make him feel worthy and loved, and that he would let go of bad thoughts. In any case, my hand was tightly holding onto Mark’s under the table.

Mark

Jackson was holding my hand, the other members were having fun with the questions and games, the fans were cheerful as ever, Jackson was holding my hand, my heart was beating, and I felt extremely happy. I couldn’t tell exactly tell why, but when Jackson put a little silver star sticker on my cheek, I felt like I could cry of happiness. The gentle of his thumb against my skin didn’t help either. I just wanted to kiss him.

While we were seated and didn’t have to get up for any games, Jackson and I kept holding hands under the table without anyone noticing. It seriously took every shred of willpower in me to not lean over and kiss him right then and there. Instead I held his hand in both of mine and on my lap. His hand was completely mine now. 

I played around with his fingers, lifting them up and letting them fall on my hand again, feeling extremely satisfied every time I laced our fingers together and our hands fit together perfectly. Jackson only looked at me occasionally to give me the sweetest smile, and then he’d look away from me again to not make things too obvious, but I could tell from his round cheeks that he was still smiling. 

Jackson

I wondered if it was hard for Mark too, to not be able to kiss because we had an audience. The way his lips were consistently curved into a smile, changing from a shy little smile into a wide grin, and an occasional unapologetic laugh, made him even more irresistible. The way he was playing with my hand under the table and simply holding it every now and then made him even more adorable. 

Instead of leaning over, bringing up my hands to cup his face, and pressing my lips onto his, I slowly shifted a bit closer to him little by little. Eventually our thighs were touching, and I felt pretty satisfied with my plan. Until Mark suddenly hooked his foot behind mine, and pulled my leg in between his, almost making me lose my balance as I had not seen that coming. My leg was half on top of his now and I tried my best not to laugh, while Mark looked at me and gave me an innocent smile. 

Mark

His hand was mine. His leg was mine. I thought of what else I wanted to claim, but my mind got stuck on his lips. 

Jackson

Mark’s smile faded slightly and he was now looking intensely at my lips, making my cheeks a matching colour. I quickly tugged at his hand, as if telling him to wake up. His gaze shot up to meet my eyes and he blinked at me, looking slightly confused but then seeming to understand. I then turned back to look ahead of me, letting out a deep breath I hadn’t realised I was holding in. Mark was being seriously cute and we were in public, which somehow felt like a contradiction. 

Suddenly realising what was happening during the fan meeting apart from Mark driving me crazy, I saw that the fans were lining up to come and greet us at the table. Alright, just act natural. Don’t give the fans extra fuel to make up conspiracies and write fanfiction or some like that. Be nice and thankful to them, but don’t be so extra gay today Jackson. 

Mark

I looked over at Jackson and saw he was shifting nervously in his seat, waiting for the first fan to come up and greet him. He was anxiously biting his lip and tightly holding onto my hand. I smiled at his adorableness, even though I knew exactly what he was thinking. The fans couldn’t find out about us, at least not now, but they have always been quick to spot things, so this was going to be a challenge. Giving his hand a little squeeze, I hoped to calm him down a little, as well as reduce my own anxiety. 

Meeting the fans went pretty well, and I was fairly confident they didn’t notice anything different about us. We had always been close anyway, so the fact that we sat right next to each other and teased each other was not surprising. In any case we kept secretly holding hands whenever we could and used our free hands to high five our fans or shake their hand or do aegyo, whatever it was they requested. 

Jackson

When a fan took a bit longer to talk to Youngjae, who was sat at my other side, I took the opportunity to lean over to Mark and whisper “You’re so cute” in his ear. I leaned back with a satisfied grin on my face and looked at him turn red and look at me with an adorable ‘I will hurt you later’ smile on his face. I was pleased with my work and squeezed his hand lightly in apology, even though I wasn’t really sorry.

The fan gave Youngjae a double high five and then moved over to me. She bowed politely and asked me to sign her notebook. I asked for her name and wrote her an encouraging message to keep on working hard for her dreams and take care of her health. She read the message and she smiled at me cutely, her eyes becoming little half moons. “Thank you! You should take care of your health too and rest enough, okay?” She said timidly but determined. I smiled back at her and nodded, thanking her for her kind words. “Fans like you give me so much motivation, and I really appreciate you caring for me.” I added, shooting her a little finger heart.

She giggled and thanked me again, returning the finger heart, and then held her hands up to double high five me. I brought both my hands up, realising too late that I was still holding Marks hand. Mark and I looked at each other in panic, both of our gazes shooting from our eyes to our hands, and we quickly let go with an awkward laugh. The fan looked at us confusedly, her hands still in the air. 

I gave her a double high five, and said “I guess I just love him too much, huh?” In an attempt to joke it off. “Markson forever~” I added with a laugh that was far from charming or convincing. She smiled brightly at me and said “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone” in a hushed tone, and gave me a subtle wink. I was dumbfounded, as I had half expected her to turn around and excitedly tell everyone that we were holding hands, and how cute we were being about it. I blinked and closed my mouth, taking a second to process her reaction. 

Mark

Jackson was taken aback for a second, so was I. He quickly got back to his usual self however, and he leaned forward a bit, putting his hand up to his mouth to whisper “Thanks, it’s better to keep it a secret”. He then brought his index finger up to his lips and winked back at her while smiling mischievously. I smiled in relief, somewhat proud of Jackson and how he had dealt with this situation.

The fan then came over to me, smiling widely. “You guys are cute” she said quietly but just loud enough for me to hear, before asking me for an autograph. I laughed off the nervousness and signed her notebook, writing “Keep being awesome, and thanks a million for your support”, with a little winky face. I really meant it, I felt very grateful that she had been so cool about our awkwardness earlier. Ahgase truly are amazing fans. 

[A/N; Hi guys ^^ Decided to upload a bit of a longer chapter lmao I got a little excited :3 How’s everyone? I’ve been thinking of creating a patreon, I would probably post extra notes or chapters, and write personalised fics (although I still haven’t figured it out in detail as I’ve never worked with patreon before lol), I’m wondering if you guys would be interested in something like that? No pressure though, I appreciate your support in all its forms! ^^ Love you guys <3]