Pushing the alpha back, Wonwoo tried to jump away from the couch towards the kitchen, hoping to make it to the bedroom to lock himself in but before he could do so, his hand was pulled back and he fell back on the soft cushion, straight toward the alpha. Bringing his free hand up to protect his face, Wonwoo closed his eyes the moment he saw the other’s hand hovering above him, praying he would survive the hit.

…which never came.

Still stiff in the tight embrace, Wonwoo’s breaths stuttered as his head was pushed toward Mingyu’s chest, hearing the really fast, and strong heartbeat. Mingyu was breathing heavily as well, probably trying to hard to stay calm. ‘Mingyu, I-’

‘Don’t you slap me again. You ing know I hate that.’ He heard the larger man growl and nodded hastily, bringing his own hand to hug the man back. His tears stuck in his eyes were now free-flowing as Wonwoo started to speak. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘You’re not the only one with problems here. I’m trying too.’ He heard the man hissed, probably still pissed. Nodding weakly, he stayed in position, trying to relax along with his alpha.

He didn’t know how long they stayed there, maybe minutes, maybe hours, but they were both finally sane enough to talk. Still holding on to each other, they moved their positions to the couch, leaning against the soft back cushion. ‘Why don’t you wanna do it?’

Wonwoo shook his head at first, refusing to answer but as he looked at the tensed face on his partner, he gathered the courage, ‘I- I’m scared.’ He locked his eyes with his alpha, ‘What if I die?’

Mingyu frowned at that answer. If omegas die during bonding, it would already be considered a crime. That was the stupidest reason he could ever think of. Unless, of course he was concerned due to what happened that night, but that was a special case. ‘You won’t’

‘You don’t know that.’ Mingyu sighed a loud sigh. He was still irritated from what happened minutes ago. Though he was trying his best not to get physical and run amok, he really couldn’t handle any more of this . He was so tired of explaining these things to Wonwoo over and over again. His doctors already told him about it, his friends knew it, even the betas remembered it. Why couldn’t Wonwoo get it inside his head?? ‘You can control your pheromones now. You’ll be okay.’

‘You don’t know that….’ Wonwoo sat up, getting worked up suddenly, ‘I don’t wanna die. I don’t wanna-’

‘You’re still free… what if you try to claim me again and I won’t be able to take another bonding because I’m already bon-’ Wonwoo choked on his own words, not even knowing what he was thinking about anymore. His mind was a mess. He had thought about why he didn’t want to do it again, he had a good reason why, but now it didn’t make sense anymore. The more he had to explain, the more confused he became. All he knew was he shouldn’t do it. It was dangerous.

To Mingyu, all he heard was absurdities. He couldn’t comprehend anything Wonwoo just said as it didn’t make any sense. All he could hear was excuses. Unreasonable excuses. Why wouldn’t Wonwoo want to do it if he was so bothered about other omegas chasing Mingyu and him doing the same? That alone should be enough reason to want to claim him for himself. It didn’t make any sense. ‘Let’s just do it at the hospital in front of the doctors! Is that enough for you?! Or we can do it in front of your therapist that you trust so much. If anything happens, they can give you instant medical attention. Huh? What bout that?’ He raised his voice, almost at the edge.

‘I don’t want to… please don’t make me…’ 

‘You know what?  this . all of this!’ Standing up and taking his jacket and car key, Mingyu shoved the door open and stomped down to the car park, wanting to escape that suffocating atmosphere. He couldn’t stand it anymore. He couldn’t stand being in the same room with Wonwoo and his stressed out pheromones. It agitated him so much he wanted to knock his head on the wall to break away from it.

Driving a few miles from home to a playground, he finally stopped and got out, taking in the fresh air. It was already dark so there was no one in sight. Mingyu screamed his heart out, kicking the tires buried in the park a few times until his leg hurt.

Why the hell was it so hard for Wonwoo to be claimed again? The one who did it the first time was Mingyu anyway so he didn’t understand why Wonwoo was acting like this, as if he was recalling his . Why was this such a big deal?? They were already bonded, there was no need for overreaction! He only suggested it because Wonwoo brought it up in the first place. Sure he wanted it too, but Wonwoo needed reassurance and this was the only way he could think of. It was for his own good, why the irrelevant extreme panic??

Sitting on the nearby bench, breathing heavily out of anger, Mingyu cursed himself. He needed to control his temper, he was losing it. Clicking his tongue in annoyance and tapping his legs on the ground to lose all the extra energy, Mingyu screamed again and again until he finally got tired of it.

A few more minutes of just sitting, staring at the dark sky, Mingyu got back up to his car. The pills he got from his therapist were in the glove compartment. He hid it there after Wonwoo took a handful of it almost a year ago. He was drained now, but he was still angry. He was sure he would feel this way the rest of the day, maybe even tomorrow, until they resolve this issue so as much as he wanted to avoid it, he needed it today. Mingyu was about to take one for himself before remembering about the omega at home.

Wonwoo had his own drugs, and he was addicted to say the least. 

....Wonwoo was really stressed when Mingyu left. What if he overdosed on those? Owh god, he was not ready to lose Wonwoo.

Mingyu closed the door and started the engine, accelerating back full speed. Running back up to his apartment, he looked around, anxious to find his mate. To his relief, as he opened the bedroom door, there Wonwoo sat, on the bed, hugging the pillows. His pheromones calmed down a lot, almost unnoticed. There was only a slight sadness which he could barely sensed, but he was fine. Still breathing, and reacting to his presence. 

Mingyu took a seat beside the omega. ‘Hey.’

‘You came back.’ Wonwoo pulled the pillow closer to himself, hiding his face, ’This smell just like you…’ he took a light sniff from the pillow, an action Mingyu found a bit touching, ‘I thought you finally left for good.’

‘I shouldn’t have left you like that…’

‘No, I was too much. I know it’s hard to have a broken mate like me. I’m sorry I’m like this.’ Mingyu gently patted on Wonwoo’s back, massaging his neck while shaking him. He was expecting Wonwoo to cry again, already preparing himself to comfort his partner but instead, the man turned towards him, studying him. Mingyu didn’t know how to react, what face to make. He was nervous and stiffened, afraid that Wonwoo might read his thoughts, whatever it was and realized how messed up he was. However, contrary to his prediction, Wonwoo’s face softened a bit and he gave the alpha a small smile which the latter returned, relieved.

Mingyu placed his hand onto Wonwoo’s, rubbing them softly, ‘I just realized you finally said sorry for slapping me.’ He grinned at Wonwoo, ‘Thought you’ll never do it.’ Seeing Wonwoo pulled his face away in shame, Mingyu closed their distance and laid on his side, facing his partner. With one of his hand playing with the other’s feet, the alpha suggested, ‘We should set the rule for our ‘talk’. Not to get too emotional and worked up.’

‘Agreed. We never talk calmly.’ Wonwoo stared at the alpha, ‘I don’t wanna have to slap you again.’

‘I don’t wanna leave you like this again. I kinda feel bad.’ He replied, noting the calm expression on Wonwoo. ‘And by the way, you slapping me is your fault.’

‘You kinda pushed me.’

‘You need to control your hand too. Your slap ing hurts.’

‘Rule number two, no physical violence. There.’ Mingyu gave a look at the older and nodded. Though he knew Wonwoo was talking about his own prior outburst, he couldn’t help but think it was directed at him and his possible future violence. Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that. He would make sure of it.

Their situation was special, and their traumas made it even harder for them to pursue this relationship, but Mingyu didn’t want to give up just because it was hard. And he knew Wonwoo was thinking of the same thing, which was why he was anxious instead of choosing to b