I've known Lalisa Manoban as a tall Thailand foreigner sharing GenPsych 101 with me. We weren't close but she always gives me a warm smile everytime we meet. She would always sit at the front rows and I'd join her some times. I have troubles focusing in class if I'm too far from the professor (some just speaks in a drone and it's frustrating when it's like that).

But something... changed. Between us, she's the one more amiable, always saying hi to me whenever we meet around the campus so I was confused when she started avoiding me all of a sudden. She even goes the opposite way.

What did I do?

I didn't want any sour relationships with anybody, especially with someone I'm fond of, so I approached her as soon as our class ended. She saw me coming so she quickly fixed her things, even close to dropping her phone, just to get away from me. But I didn't give her any chance.

"Lalisa... Did I do something wrong?"

"It's nothing." She tried to smile but I knew it wasn't sincere. "I gotta go—"

"Lalisa, can we talk please? What's wrong?"

She bit her lower lip in confliction. Using another card, I pleaded sincerely with my eyes. I hope this would work...

"Please?"

She finally gave up. Success! Lalisa lowered the books against her chest and even if she was noticeably relaxing, she looked down on the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "It's just... I think I held you to a certain standard. I mean, don't get me wrong. It's a free country, after all. A lot of people our age do it too just... I didn't think you'd be one of them, okay?"

My brows creased with that. "What are you talking about?"

"You're Goo Junhoe's girlfriend, right?"

The mention of his name made me anxious. Why was his name brought up? I tried to come up with a sensible answer but as far as I knew, we weren't doing anything alarming. Or is there...?

"Yes. Why?"

"It's..." Specks of pink appeared on her cheeks. "Well... my family runs a pharmacy and..."

I waited for her to continue but she continued staring at me, as if telling me that I should know about it. This is confusing as it gets for me. What was she trying to say?

Patient but still wanting to know more, I prodded, "And?"

"I think you can get what I mean by that."

I was honestly lost. What? Did Junhoe rob a pharmacy? Did he forget to pay for the sanitary pads I ordered him to buy last week? Was this all it was about?

Lalisa must've gotten that I was still confused as she whispered, "Your boyfriend's buying condoms at our pharmacy."

That shook me to the core. "...What?"

🌺🌸🌺

"Chaeyoung, let's talk about this first and—Chaeyoung... Chaeyoung!"

I must've been crazy that I only stopped when Lalisa whirled me around. Something bile was coming out of my throat. I was close to crying and when I cry, I couldn't help it, even if another person was here to see me cry. My thoughts shifted back to my boyfriend, then the condoms, and then the girl he must've done it with. My heart hurts so bad... without control, the tears rolled down. Embarrassed, I wiped them away with my wrist.

Even though people tell me that it was a bad decision to go into a relationship with "someone like Goo Junhoe", we weren't that type of couple. Just because my boyfriend gives off a cold city guy aura doesn't mean that he's liberated. We both had the same mindset of 'no before marriage' so even if he always do not-so innocent things with me, it hadn't led us to something that would require him to buy condoms.

Well, at least that's what I thought. Not with me atleast.

Denial had left to make way for anger. It must took me a thousand questions, asking Lalisa over and over again if it was Junhoe she really saw, or if she knew what he looked like at all. But her face grew more glum with every question.

"I'm sorry," she'd say like a broken record. The difference was the sorrow in her voice amplified with every repetition.

And now, she was looking at me different. I knew she was beating herself up over it, of her blaming herself that she could potentially destroy a relationship and more. But she wasn't at fault.

"Thank you for saying that, Lalisa. I really am."

"Chaeyoung, please. Listen to me first."

"Lalisa... I can't right now..." I whimpered, my eyes darting to the grassy fields of the grounds we were walking on. People around us must've been looking at us funny. I tried to pace my beating heart with deep calming breaths. Last thing I wanted right now was others to see me crying.

"I know, I know," she desperately said. "But what are you planning to do now?"

Now that she asked, I felt like a dummy for a second. What was I doing now? Just walk up to him and confront him about it? That felt like a stupid thing to do.

"Here's what we'll do, Chaeyoung. We'll catch him on the act. I mean, I could be mistaken for all I know."

"I... I don't know..."

"It's for your own good. If we confirm everything, then I'll be the first to say that you're too good for him."

I knew I chose to believe Lalisa more than my boyfriend but why would she lie, right? It's not like she could get any benefit from it.

Somewhere in my heart, I wanted to prove her wrong. My Junhoe wasn't like the Junhoe she was telling me.

Making up my decision, I agreed. "Then I hope it's not him at all."

🌺🌸🌺

Dressed up like hooligans hiding at an aisle of Lalisa's parents' pharmacy, a thought crossed my mind that we looked more like robbers than girls trying to catch a boyfriend in the act.

"I saw him around this time. Dropped by just to get my allowance from my dad when I saw your boyfriend buy it," Lalisa was trying to say but I was too focused at the door, dreading to see a certain someone come in, for her words to make sense. Suddenly, I felt her slender fingers grip my arm. "There! That's your boyfriend, right?"

She showed me someone who was walking at the sidewalk, seen through the pharmacy's frosted windows. The tall height, the confident strides, the red hoodie that always smelled like blooming detergent... it was Junhoe.

Please don't go inside. Please prove Lalisa wrong. Please... Just please...

But even with my desperate pleads, that didn't prevent him from entering the pharmacy. Along with the chiming bell of the glass door, came the powerful pang that gripped my heart. I looked away, just so that Lalisa wouldn't notice me struggling to keep the tears at bay.

I felt a forceful tug on my arm, a movement that startled me, along with Lalisa hissing, "Duck! He could see us."

We hid at an aisle of sanitary pads. It was the farthest aisle from the counter so he wouldn't see me, unless he goes here. Grabbing on to the aisle's edge, I slightly kept my head out to watch whatever he was doing at the counter. I was still hoping that he wouldn't do what I was expecting him to do.

Junhoe's broad shoulders were slumped, his fingers shifting the ready-made medicines located beside the cash register like it was mere pages of books.

"Uhm..." I heard him drawl, not even looking at the person manning the counter. The words were at the tip of his tongue but he was afraid to say it aloud. This wasn't Junhoe at all. He rarely mumbles, much less speak without confidence, and that only meant one thing.

"Uh..." he continued to stall.

"What is it, young lad?" Lalisa's dad asked with patience, his pronunciation, unlike Lisa's, mixed with a different kind of accent. Even then, his eyes were curved into crescent-shaped ones as he sent Junhoe a smile.

"I was wondering if uh... you have... Unidus SlimZero... perhaps?"

I turned to Lalisa with confusion. "What's that?"

"It's a popular brand of condoms," she replied, her glare directed at Junhoe. "I kinda want to throw a punch at him. Like, now. Seriously."

She was already moving before I could prevent her. That was bad news because Junhoe would notice me. I don't want that. Even if I was faced with the truth, I didn't have the strength to face him yet, not when my emotions were in turmoil.

In my effort to stop Lisa, I accidentally knocked down the basket hung on the edge of the aisle. It landed on the floor with a crash, the oriental medicines scattering on the floor with it. My heart probably stopped beating then and there when the only people by the cashier turned their attention to me.

For the first time since I discovered everything, my sight met with the eyes of the person I trusted the most, the same person who crushed it into pieces. I tried to deny everything in my mind, and I guess when you're face to face with the truth, the reality was harder to swallow.

How could you, Junhoe?

The memories of us together flashed like a painful montage in my mind. I really tried to understand why he did the things he had to do, but my heart couldn't bear it anymore.

"Chaeyoung..." I heard him say but I didn't pay heed, even if I was so tempted to run in his arms and tell me that everything was a lie.

Lalisa didn't mind the mess I created when she strode towards Junhoe with madly steps. She crumpled the front of his hoodie with her fists like a man and looked at him eye to eye.

"Are you a man?!" she growled like she was the bigger person between the two of them.

"Lisa?" Now her dad was confused. He continued speaking in an unfamiliar language, Thai perhaps, his tone calm and steady, but at the same time, bewildered. It was my cue to go between them so even if I was out of sorts, I placed a hand on Lalisa's shoulder, trying my best not to look at Junhoe since I felt his sight only focused on me.

"Lalisa, stop... We should go..."

"No," she defiantly replied. "We should teach this bastard a lesson!"

"Lalisa..." her dad and I both muttered at the same time.

"I can explain—" Junhoe tried to say but I sharply cut him off.

"There's nothing to explain, Junhoe. I've seen enough."

"Chaeyoung..."

I wanted him to stop calling me that because everytime he does, my resolve crumbles. It hurt too much... Without thinking, emotions bubbled in my chest, gearing my mouth to form it in coherent words, all for me to hurt him as much as he had hurt me. "What reason can you possible say, Junhoe? That I can't satisfy your needs? That I can't give it to you yet? Maybe... Maybe it's best if we..." I trailed off, unable to continue anymore. Something constricted my lungs to breathe. I don't want to cry in front of him, so with a bigger conviction greater than my fears, I breathed out, "I – I think we should break up, Junhoe."

Seeing his face contort with pain was so heartbreaking. Did he know this was hard for me too? He attempted to hold my arm, but I stepped back. A flash of hurt crossed in his eyes. "No.... Chaeyoung, hear me out."

There it was, the lodge in my throat. It disabled me from speaking anymore. I looked away just so that he wouldn't be satisfied to see me cry. Maybe it was best that we say our goodbyes before I fool myself longer. I wasn't the girl he wanted after all.

A sharp pang of regret hit me then. What was I doing? I should be happy that I lost someone like him, yet why does my heart ache so bad?

"You deserve this," Lalisa sneered, shocking all of us when she hit him at the most sensitive part of a man's body. He crouched in pain and I saw her dad wincing with that.

"Junhoe!" I went towards him, but Lalisa putting an arm between us reminded me what the situation was in the first place. Still...

The door chimed then, taking my sight off Junhoe. I saw Bobby oppa with a vexed expression on his face. It changed when he saw the situation laid out before him.

Bobby... what was he doing here? Did he know everything from the start? And just when I thought that I wouldn't feel more down... It meant that his friends knew all along!

He helped Junhoe stand up. Bobby tried his best not to laugh. I didn't know why he found the situation hilarious. Uh... Hello? Junhoe and I were in the middle of breaking up! "I may not be here to watch how Junhoe ended up like this, but I think I can explain in his place."

Lalisa folded her arms and must've forgotten that she was face to face with a senior from school. "What is there to explain when we saw everything with our own two eyes?"

"Trust me." Bobby's eyes gleamed with humor and... is that embarrassment I see? "You'll want to hear this out."

🌺🌸🌺

Lalisa's dad was understanding through it all that he gave Junhoe a water bottle for free. Even when I apologized because of the basket and the ruckus, he waved me off, adding that I shouldn't worry about it. He was a parent with a golden heart, that was for sure.

The four of us went outside the store. With the winter season, it looked like it was already late in the evening. Cold wind penetrated through my exposed skin and as if it would help, I tugged my padded jacket closer to my body. I looked at Junhoe wearing only a hoodie. Did he feel cold too?

Wait, why am I even thinking of his well-being? I shouldn't care anymore.

Junhoe and Bobby sat at the verge between the street and the sidewalk. Junhoe leaned against Bobby's side as he screwed the cap off and gulped the contents of the water bottle down. He tried his best to look okay, even if I knew that he was anything but that. Lalisa must've hit him hard for him to appear so pale.

Meanwhile, Lisa and I were standing beside them. Lalisa looked more like the girlfriend with her folded arms and ready-to-kill look, all directed at Junhoe. I guess she hated guys like him that much.

"The condoms... it wasn't for Junhoe," Bobby began to explain, throwing his head back just to meet my gaze. "I uhm... I ordered him to. Well, not exactly ordered to, but he always loses against me in rock paper scissors, so he always ends up buying in my place. You see, even if I'm at the right age to buy one, it's sorta embarrassing, you know?"

"Please believe that I'm innocent, Chaeyoung..." Junhoe mumbled beside him.

"I'm really sorry for using Junhoe. I didn't expect for it to escalate like this."

"Y'all could be lying for all we know," Lalisa retorted.

In which case, Junhoe struggled to stand up just to face me. "I'd be considered blind if I cheat on you. Why would I do that—"

Lalisa sneered. "Stop it. You've hurt her enough."

"Hey, kid. Are you her lawyer?" Bobby couldn't help but snap back.

Lalisa directed her glare at the figure sitting at the sidewalk. "I can say the same thing to you, punk."

Woah... she wasn't scared at a senior at all. I shook my head. I shouldn't think like this. I don't want another fight to break out again and knowing Bobby, even if he was gentlemanly and all, wouldn't step down even if Lisa's a girl.

"Excuse me, I'd like to talk with Junhoe alone," I firmly said.

Lalisa and Bobby exchanged looks. She was hesitant to leave but Bobby nudged her in the back for them to go inside the store.

Finally, I could speak without worrying about others butting in. The betrayed emotions I felt then sizzled into something that made me feel at ease but at the same time, conflicted. My heart told me to believe Junhoe, my mind on the other hand, was set on turning away from him. It was all these reasons that I couldn't decide for myself. What was I supposed to believe in?

Junhoe was looking at me like a lost puppy and for some reason, triggered something negative in me.

"Just because you have back-up doesn't mean I'll believe you completely."

"But I didn't buy those things for myself. Why would I? I'm not like Bobby hyung who sleeps around. Trust me, Chaeyoung. I swear. I bet everything on my name that I'm saying the truth."

"Why should I believe you? You could be entering love dens with Bobby oppa for all I know."

"Everything we're saying is the truth." He held both of his hands up, patting one against his chest. "Really, it's the truth. Even if you think I'm lying in the future, believe me this once."

I stayed silent for a few seconds, reading his eyes carefully just to confirm if he wasn't lying. I know that even if Junhoe tries to pretend, the truth shows in his face. He couldn't control his expression whenever he lies and right now, all I could see was sincerity in him. Should I...?

"Please don't bring the idea of us breaking up. I... damn it." He combed his hair in frustration and then I saw his true character showing, breaking the façade of the cool guy I knew too well. His eyes blurred and before I could recognize those as tears, he abruptly crouched down. Oh my...

I was startled for a moment but understood then. I remember us in the past, watching romantic dramas together because he liked those kind of movies the most. Before it could end, there were already tears in his eyes. He was furiously wiping his face with his jacket and kept denying over and over again that it was the dust, even though I could see that it wasn't. He'd even fight with me about it...

It was incredible how memories could touch the others like they were interconnected in the first place. Right when that recollection ended, it led me to another; little, insignificant moments in life that I spent with Junhoe. I remember how animated he looked like when I gave him a homemade cake for White Day, the light shining in his eyes when I kiss him back, the way he worriedly looked out for me when I broke his new skateboard instead of getting mad over it...

Was breaking up with him worth it? Sending a glance at the man crouching like a fragile kid in front of me, the answer dawned on my mind.

I also crouched down, unable to help myself anymore. "Junhoe..."

He shifted to take me in his arms, tightly, as if afraid that I'd disappear. "Please don't go."

His tender moments was rare to see, even for me, and with him being like this signified a lot of things. He was really afraid for us...

People say that I forgive too easily but why wouldn't I if I see the sincerity in everyone's eyes? It was hard for me not to forgive just as much as to make my heart cold.

My mind and heart became one. I made up a decision then, and that was to believe him completely. It's okay. I know I'm doing the right choice.

"I believe you."

"Really?" he mumbled.

I nodded, my chin gently brushing on his left shoulder. "Really."

My boyfriend's hold on me went tighter. "Can you take me back?"

"I will," I briefly whispered. "Sorry for rashly making up decisions."

"Chaeyoung..."

The relief in his voice made me want to look at him but he just held me tighter.

"Junhoe?"

"Don't. Not yet."

But I was persistent to move away. It was then I saw why he didn't want me to. He was still crying. My heart softened at the sight of his tears. Before I could erase those away, he wiped it with the sleeves of his hoodie.

"I think this is your influence on me," he sniffed.

I laughed a little. "You seem to forget that you cried drunkenly on our second meeting."

He just continued wiping his face and didn't say anything more. After a while, we stood up from kneeling on the pavement. My knees hurt but at least my feelings were now at ease.

"Does this mean we're okay now?" Junhoe probed.

"I don't know. Are we?"

Junhoe his lips, his eyes showing confliction, as he stared at me intently. "Did you cry because of me?"

I shook my head. "It's nothing."

My boyfriend delicately brushed some hair that fell infront of my face, his light and feathery. Without thinking, I felt my eyes close with his touch. "I'm sorry... I even promised myself not to be the reason for your tears. Guess that I failed at that part, huh?"

I didn't know what happened to Bobby then. All I got from their friends were what I'd like to consider with a grain of salt.

Donghyuk said that three people in their group schemed to take all of his clothes away at his gym class. Even took it as far as locking Bobby in the shower room so when he gets out, no one would help him. It meant that Bobby had to walk around the campus completely . Chanwoo added that they left a note saying, 'You sleep so this is nothing new. Have fun embarrassing yourself!'

Others even said that Hanbin oppa got a hold of Bobby's phone and blasted a series of disturbing text messages to potential hook-ups, ruining any chance he had with them at all.

For me, I believe that they wouldn't do something like that. At the end of the day, Bobby was still their best friend after all.

~🌸tbc.

EPILOGUE

JUNHOE: Everything's true. He deserves it.