Jang Hanna. A girl I'd like to describe as someone sweet, beautiful, smart and... my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend.

I accepted the fact that Junhoe had past relationships before me. What I don't get is why Junhoe still keeps in touch with her. I was fine with it first, but then Chanwoo slipped up about something from my boyfriend's past, something that pushed me to be envious of Hanna's existence in his life.

"Hanna noona was Junhoe's first serious relationship. When they broke up, he always asked the other hyungs to go drinking with him, even if he couldn't stomach the taste of alcohol, just to forget about her." Startled, he sent me a nervous glance. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't say that. Don't tell Junhoe, okay?"

I waved my hands in rejection to that idea and smiled reassuringly. But a bigger force grips my heart, caused by his words.

I'm envious of Jang Hanna, a little more than I'd like to admit. What to do then? Her beauty captures everyone's attention, even mine. She has the natural ability to make people feel comfortable around her and when she smiles, she makes sure it's always sincere. I could see why Junhoe fell in love with her hard, because she's beautiful inside and out.

This is why it's harder to accept, that someone beautiful like her was once a part of Junhoe's world, maybe even his whole world at some point. No matter how I tell myself to get over it, Hanna was once me in Junhoe's life. And I hate how that thought degrades me to someone who compares herself to her boyfriend's ex.

One sunny morning, Junhoe and I were walking together to our common class. Junhoe was narrating about Hanbin's flirting attempt with his Calculus classmate, Lee Hayi, that ended with a bruise on his cheek. Along the way, we met Jung Hanna. The laughter bubbling from my lips stopped when Junhoe dropped my hold on his arm to greet her with an one-armed hug. Then they got lost in a conversation of their own, as if I wasn't there in the first place.

"How's Soljin holding up these days?"
"She's doing better. Oh! She wants to say thanks for the medicines. It helped a lot."
"Don't mention it. I hope Hyemi doesn't make it happen for the second time 'cause those medicines are expensive as hell."
"Mom's already in it, don't worry. You know how she is."

The both of them shared a look, chuckling about an inside joke I wouldn't get. After the laughter subsided, Hanna lightly nudged Junhoe's arm. "Gotta run. I have Entrep in 5 mins. See you around!"

"Yeah." Junhoe nodded once. "See you around."

My sight followed Hanna disappearing further in the hallway's shadows with every step. If I didn't feel his hand intertwining with mine, I would've watched her disappear in my sight forever. Maybe it's because of the warmth spreading through his fingertips, passing as if it were electric fizzles touching mine, that I got distracted almost immediately.

"Let's go?"

I absentmindedly followed his lead. As I hold his hand, a disturbing thought couldn't help but cross my mind.

Did Hanna feel the same effect he has on me?

🌺🌸🌺

The feeling of jealousy towards Hanna continued to bug me for the following day.

While waiting for Junhoe at the school's open area, I spent it by watching the warm spring breeze ruffle grass on the fields, somehow kissing my skin in its way. Keeping my grip on the cemented bleachers, I wonder if what I'm feeling with Hanna is a normal thing.

I wasn't like this, having a charismatic boyfriend and all (I was used to girls approaching him now and then, thinking that he isn't in a relationship) but Hanna's closeness with him was something that continues to bug me for no reason. It knaws my insides and the possibility of me accepting Hanna as someone that's part of Junhoe's past hangs in the air.

But... I can't help it, you know? They have this certain closeness, something special, maybe even the reason they became together in the first place. And what I fear the most, that something special becoming a reason for our relationship to meet its doom.

When the thoughts were becoming too much, I felt someone's body heat sitting beside me, but not the familiar heat coming from my boyfriend or from anyone I know. Turning my head to the right, I met Hanna's shining eyes, naturally curling for a smile, as it always does whenever she looks at me.

I was suprised. Was I thinking about her too much that the heavens called her to meet me?

"Hey," she greeted.

Tucking my hair behind my ear shyly, I simply say, "Hi."

Both of us fell into silence, in my perspective, awkward, but for her, something different from that. She likes basking in silence from time to time, one of the things I noticed about her whenever I see her alone, occupying the space contentedly with her own.

"It's such a good day, isn't it?" she sighed as she stretched her whole body, one strap of her backpack sliding on an arm. "How are you, Chaeyoung-sshi?"

"M – Me? Fine, I guess."

"Hm," she hummed melodiously. "I'd be lying if I say I think the same. Something's bothering you, I know."

"...What do you mean?"

"Come on Chaeyoung-sshi. You're as open as a book. Well, that something's someone. I'm... bothering you, right?"

I quickly waved my hands in dismissal, although I felt the pang of guilt as soon as she said that. Right on the dot. "N – Not at all!"

If Hanna ever noticed it, she let it slide as she tore her sight away from me to look at the field. "You know what, I never thought I'd say this, given that I had a past with Junhoe but, he's lucky to have you. You have something that sets his soul on fire, something even I couldn't do." She turned to me curiously. "Do you want me to tell you something personal?"

Unsure but still wanting to see where this was going, I nodded.

"Junhoe and I weren't meant to last in the first place. Maybe it's because we're both like fires. Always clashing and crashing head-on. It was tiring. Both of our fires then grew into something that burned us, so much that I felt we weren't the same anymore. So... we broke up."

"—Then a year passed and you came. Although this is a bit hard to admit, you bring the best out of him. Did you know that he had a nickname back in high school? Ice Prince. He treated everyone cold, but they don't understand that it's just the way he is. Nowadays though, he talks more politely and smiles a lot. I know it's because of you, Chaeyoung-sshi. Everyone can see that he found his happiness with you."

"Oh." I blushed, surprised to hear this from her of all people. "It's not me..."

"I'm happy for you two," Hanna said as she lightly nudged me on the shoulder with hers. "I mean it. So please don't feel insecure or whatever with me. I don't want us to be awkward with each other, okay?"

I fiddled with my fingers nervously. "I'm sorry... To tell the truth, you're an amazing person and I can't help but be envious because of you."

"Don't be! You make it sound like I'm someone great when it's not. I'm nothing compared to you. It takes a lot to change a man like that, you know?"

"Well... I really think he's a good person. He just doesn't show it that much. We all have kindness in our hearts after all."

Hanna grinned. "Look at you go. This is why Junhoe can't leave you alone. Opposites attract, right?"

I felt my cheeks heat at her statement. I don't know how to reply to that so I shyly smiled. Silence passed between us then, but unlike the first time, it wasn't awkward anymore.

"What are you two talking about?"

Both of us turned around at the sound of that voice. When I recognized the figure standing a stair above as Junhoe's, I wonder if it's a coincidence that he has the ability to appear at the right time.

Junhoe removed his backpack before sitting beside me. An arm of his went around my head to pull me closer so that he could kiss me at the top of my head. The gesture was something so simple, yet could make me feel the tingles everytime. At the corner of my eye, I saw Hanna giving me a look, one that said, 'I told you so.'

"It's nothing," Hanna was the one who replied. "Girl talks and stuff." She plopped her hands on her thighs and stood up. "Well, gotta go. I need to leave you lovebirds before I see something that will horrify me for life."

"Yeah, go," Junhoe muttered, then sent me a malicious look. "Before you see us kissing."

"Running!"

I chuckled when Hanna did live up to her word, jogging at the stairs so fast that it looked like she was running for her life. For the first time ever, my heart feels light. It was refreshing, really.

"So how is my Chaeyoung today?" Junhoe asked, his full attention now turned to me.

Instead of answering, I didn't waste any time to say what I realized since my conversation with Hanna.

"I really love you, Junhoe."

Junhoe looked surprised as soon as I said that. His eyes seemed to search for something in mine, before his features relaxed with a pleased one.

"I know."

I pouted. "You didn't say it back."

"Even if I don't, you know I feel the same."

I resisted the urge to pout more. "Okay. Fine. I'm not forcing you to say it because you'd just say that actions speak louder than words. But, I don't get it too because you're more of the words type. I mean, you love talking so much that I want to cover your mouth sometimes because it's so tempting to do whenever you're—"

Junhoe cut my ramblings with a kiss. He was chuckling against my lips when he did that. As he pulled away the next second, I couldn't help but feel my heart skipping a beat. If love has its own physical form, his eyes sure do have it.

"You know I love you too."

And somehow, that was enough to cure my jealous heart.

~🌸tbc.

Ack. Sorry for the cringe.